Right now she should be remembering the horrible way he treated. And the way he called her outside so that his whole team could throw eggs at her. But between the alcohol in her system, the hurt Finn just caused her and the shock of seeing Jesse again…all she could think about was hearing what he had to say. Rachel crossed the distance between them and slipped her hand into his. "We can talk upstairs. It'll be…quieter…in my room."
Anger was rolling off of Finn Hudson in palpable waves. From the way his jaw set and his fists clenched it was obvious to tell that Finn Hudson was more than a little pissed off. Though it was something Jesse was easily able to ignore, especially as her hand grabbed his. He couldn't help smirking at Finn as he passed.
Once they were in her room with the door closed he watched her head to the bed but then drop into the chair at her desk. His hands slipped into his pockets. A nervous gesture. An emotion that was foreign to Jesse St. James. It was amazing the feelings that she could bring out in him. "I'm sorry Rachel. Really, truly sorry," Jesse started, his voice faltering from the pain and regret that plagued him since the day he broke up with her.
"Jesse-"
He held up his hand to stop her. "You deserve an apology better than this. After what I put you through…what I did to you. I'm lucky that you are even talking to me." Rachel Berry was special. She was beautiful, talented and a drama queen. But he loved her. He was in love with her. There was no other girl, no other person that he'd allow himself to be this vulnerable with. Jesse moved forward and knelt on the ground in front of her. He wanted to look into her eyes. "I was an immature boy. I thought that love was a distraction, that you were a distraction. I've spent every day since then living with regret. I chose wrong. I didn't choose you."
Originally he'd had a better, more rehearsed speech to say to her. Unfortunately he had been thrown off by the party going on, the fact that Rachel was drunk. Everything he had said, had been spoken from the heart. And hopefully infinitely better than the speech he had rehearsed.
All Rachel Berry wanted to feel was loved. She knew she was talented and worthy of everyones praise and admirations. But she didn't know that she was special and beautiful and none of that had to do with her talent. Jesse could see that. He had seen that. He had made the mistake of putting his career before love. He could see the inner battle being fought over whether to believe him. Her eyes always betrayed her. They were always full of such emotion.
"I don't know what to say," Rachel finally said. Her head and her heart were battling with each other Her heart wanted to believe him, to fall into his arms and let him love her. That's the way it should have been. But her head? Her head remembers washing the eggs out of her hair, picking the shells out. "I want to believe you Jesse, I do, but I just don't know."