Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters nor do I own any of the songs that make their way through my stories. Everything is inspired by OneRepublic and Stephenie Meyer.

Dreaming Out Loud

Chapter 2 – Mercy

Soundtrack – Mercy, by OneRepublic

Previously: I walked over to my house with Edward at my side when Deputy Hale, Jasper and Rosalie's father, came up to me. The look in his eyes immediately told me something was wrong.

"Bella, dear. I'm sorry you have to hear this but there's been an accident. They're on their way to the hospital now." There was no denying who "they" were in his bleak voice.

I felt my heart quicken at an impossible rate. Time seemed to stand still and I didn't even notice that Edward was hugging me from behind, or that tears seemed to be streaming down my face, making my vision blur and darken. I didn't pay attention to the fact that all the breath seemed to be knocked out of my lungs or that the whole Forks Police Department was standing in silence, watching me. Only one thing matter. "They are going to be okay, right?" I desperately asked, looking only for one answer.

I didn't get my answer. "Things aren't looking good."

I seemed to succumb to the blackened abyss.

When I woke up next I heard familiar whispers of my friends. "Thanks for the food Esme. I'll do my best to see that she eats it." Edward whispered. I barely heard the clinking of cups being set down and a door softly closing as Esme left.

I tried moving my body when I felt the absolute soreness, almost pain, throughout my whole body. I felt weight shift and I realized I was laying down on a bed that normally would have been comfortable, but the soreness in my limbs negated the effect. It must have been Edward's bed I was lying in. There was not denying the irresistible smell that is Edward.

I opened my eyes heavy eye lids slowly when I looked an noticed it was night. "What time is it?" I heard my groggy voice ask.

If felt the bed move unnaturally and knew my voice must have made Edward jump. "Twenty till midnight," He half-spoke, half-whispered.

"How long have I been asleep?" I sat up slowly, feeling all my muscles pull on each other. For some odd reason my right hurt more than my left.

"About sixteen hours," He said even quieter. The new shocked me a little bit but I didn't react to it like I normally would. Instead I lifted my hand wondering why it hurt to keep my eyes open. I reached up to touch my right eye and it was swollen. Then it hit me.

Flashbacks of flashing red and blue lights, Mr. Hale's face, Edward practically screaming my name in fear, the white walls of Forks Hospital, Carlise shaking his head while tears freely fell down his face.

It felt like the wind was beat out me. My lungs wouldn't take in any air and I felt my body start to rack with violent shakes. It shook my head hear as if to lose any memory and block out the unendurable pain. I felt Edward move to hug me to his body. I'm not sure how my body could create tears anymore all I know is a clung to Edward and weeped for the loss of life, loss of love and loss of happiness. I sobbed for my parents and for myself.

Edward didn't seem aware that I was staining his shirt with my tears, or he just didn't care. He held me as tight as he could while I cried myself out. Sometime during the night my weeping stopped and I fell into a dreamless sleep. It was as close to numbness I could find.

I woke up the next morning, doing everything I could not to remember the night before. My whole body shook with pain whenever I made the slightest movement, almost as if I was hit by a ten ton truck. The room was pitch black, the curtains closed, so I couldn't see a thing. I moved my head to the right and was faced with a lovely sight. Edward was sleeping next to me, shirtless, my face inches from his.

Ever since I was little I would spend the night here. Our parents, being great friends, would visit until the late hours of the night. By then Edward and I would have fallen asleep on the couch, right next to each other. As we grew older things didn't change much. Alice had come along and by then the two of us were great friends, though nothing like Edward and me. There were never any friends like Edward and me.

Alice and I would stay up until the late hours of the night watch Johnny Depp movies and eat bowls of Chunky Monkey Ice Cream, never knowing how we maintained our figures. Then when Alice fell asleep I would sneak from her room down to hall to Edwards and sleep there. Esme and Carlise knew where I slept but never said anything. Everyone knew nothing ever happened, Edward and I were best friends. Nothing more... At night back then I would stay awake just to watch Edward sleep. He always slept so peacefully, so beautiful. To watch him was like watching the most perfect, glorious angel sleep. Amazing.

So to wake up to Edward's beautiful face two inches from my own was nothing new, though he always stole my breath away. Tonight Edward didn't look as at peace as he normally slept. Even in sleep he looked exhausted, his face looked harden, his hair was all over the place, was covering his eyes so I pushed it away. The pain that shot through my arm was worth it. I winced.

I watched Edward's face loosen the tiniest bit and then resumed my gaze on Edward. Eventually the slow and steady movement of Edward's chest moving up and down as he breathed could no longer distract me from the pain in my limbs. So with as little movement as possible I swung my legs off the bed, biting my lip to keep from crying in pain. Edward didn't stir. I got up from the bed and walked over to Edwards bathroom, trying to keep from making too much noise.

I walked into the bathroom and reached to open the medicine cabinet before shutting the door and turning on the light. I pulled out some headache medicine and shut the cabinet. I turned on the sink and bent down to drink the water streaming out of it to wash down the medicine. When I stood back up to leave I caught a glimpse of someone in the mirror. My heart stopped.

I looked back and it took a moment to realize that the almost unrecognizable person in the mirror was myself. I looked away quickly. I didn't want to see down sleep deprived I was even though I practically slept a whole day. I didn't want to see how swollen my eyes still were from crying so much. I didn't want to see the after effect, to be reminded more. I didn't need my own reflection to haunt me... My memories already were.

As I went to take on more sip of water before bed, my elbow hit the light switch making the light flicker. The red and blue lights came flashing back again. I hit my head on the medicine cabinet. "Ow!" I yelped the covered my mouth, but it was too late.

"Bella?" Edward asked sleepily from his bed. When I didn't answer his voice became more panicked, "Bella?!"

"In here," I tried to quietly call out. I turned off the bathroom light, not wanting to look at my reflection for reminders and went back to his room. Edward was sitting up, looking like he was about to jump out of it to look for me. "I'm right here," I whispered.

Edward didn't say anything. Instead he opened his arms for me to crawl into as he encircled me in them. When I was a little girl Edwards arms were the only place where I felt safe, secure, and whole. I don't know why but even now when I was in his arms, knowing that this was the only place were I could feel those feelings, it amazed me how this angel made into my best friend could make me feel this.

"Thanks," I managed to whisper as I curled up next to him, with my nose touching his chest, inhaling his delectable scent. His smell was the only thing that ever chased away my nightmares, though tonight I doubted anything could do that.

"Of course." Edward pulled me to him tighter, making my soreness known. I didn't mind. Any amount of pain was worth it to be like this in these little moments with him. Well almost any pain.

"Goodnight, Edward." I mumbled, sleepily. How I could sleep anymore was beyond me.

Edward chuckled. "Goodnight, Bella," He breathed into my hair, "dream sweet dreams."

I tried but all I could dream of was flashing red and blue lights.

I woke up around sunrise, barely able to sleep any longer. I was still encased in Edwards arms but I could tell from his face that he still needed his sleep. So once again I took up the job of watching him sleep, watching breathe in and out. Periodically I would brush the hair from his face, but I didn't want to move too much for fear of waking him.

I could have laid there forever, but there was a knock at the door. Esme came in with a tray of food. I pretended to be asleep, not really wanting to talk to anyone else. All Esme did was set the new food down, and took the old untouched food away. Only then did it dawn on me that Edward wasn't eating either, probably waiting for me.

I tried to gently wriggle my way out of his embrace even though I hated to, but all my efforts were wasted as Edward tightened his grip and woke up. "Where do you think you're going?" His drowsy voice asked. I don't think he was fully awake, and that was good; it worked to my advantage.

I barely giggled, and it felt weird to do, felt almost painful to do. Physically painful, well yes, but more than that. It sounded odd too, sounded like it was on the brink of fake. I hoped Edward was too far asleep to pick that up. "Where do you think I'm going?" I asked and even my voice was a little of, a little... flat.

Edward's arms tightened around me even more. "Nowhere," He yawned.

He didn't have to tell me twice, I would stay anywhere as long as Edward was there. Only my stomach decided it was time to make its presence known. "Sorry," I mumbled, completely content in Edwards arms.

But for some reason the tiny noise my stomach made seemed to bring Edward to the present. His beautiful emerald eyes blinked open, and he started to sit up, untangling himself from me. I sat where I was as he got out of the bed, grabbed the hot breakfast, and handed me mine.

I took a small bite. Esme had prepared my own personal favorite meal; chocolate chip pancakes with bacon and hash browns. Let's just say I never got to have it at my own home. Home.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked, his food still untouched.

I put my fork down and pushed my plate away. "Nothing, just not that hungry, is all," I mumbled. I swung my legs off the bed. "I think I'm going to take a shower." Edward didn't argue.

I walked into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes, trying my best to not remember the day I put them on, and failing. I could feel a small dark hole making an opening in my chest. I got in and turned the shower on scolding hot like I was trying to burn away any and all memories. It didn't work.

I couldn't bear to stand up anymore and it had nothing to do with the boiling water that fell on me and had everything to do with the memories I couldn't keep at bay. My knees gave in and I fell to the floor. I tried to keep my broken, uncontrollable sobs quiet. Edward didn't need to hear this, he'd heard enough.

I don't know how long I was balled up there crying, but when I felt that I was in some control of myself I washed myself and got out. I was done sobbing, but I couldn't get the water in my eyes to corporate well. Eventually there seemed to be no more water in my body to secrete tears so I was finally able to wrap myself in a towel. Then I realized that I didn't bring in any clothes in with me so I would have to sneak around Edward.

I peek through the door that connected from Edwards bathroom to his bedroom and I recognized that he had left, probably gone downstairs to see his family. However there was a set of comfortable jeans and a white t-shirt on his bed waiting for me. Alice.

I quickly put them on as I could feel the dark hole widening, as it always did when I was away from Edward. Only this time it was different. Before the hole itself was just a tiny spot near my heart that made me miss Edward uncontrollably. Before I could deal with the hole, ignore it, and sometimes even forget it. Now, the hole started out bigger than normally and it just kept getting bigger. I no longer just missed Edward, I needed Edward and I couldn't ignore or forget it. It was almost impossible to deal with.

I brushed my hair quickly, preferring the physical pain of removing hair knots over the hole in my chest. When I felt I looked somewhat decent I all but ran downstairs. I found the Cullens scattered around the house along with Jasper and Rose. Esme was in her studio working on designs for her next house. Carlise was in his office going over some case studies. Alice and Jasper were out on the patio, snuggled close together and Rose in Emmett were out in the garage working on his Jeep. I kept a low profile while searching for Edward. I did not want to talk.

I found Edward in the Library, sitting at his piano. He wasn't playing the piano, and since his back was to me all I could see was his sheet music, blank. I came up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Working on a new piece, Mozart?" I joked.

He let out a breathy chuckle and put his arm around my waist, pulling down next to him. "Something like that." He pulled me close to him then brought his hands to the keys. He began to play a few simple chords, making sweet and wonderful music, "I want you to hear something."

Edward stopped playing the chords and bent over next to the piano to pick up his acoustic guitar. He took a deep breath and began.

The song first started out with a couple short and sweet notes that repeated. Then he began to sing.

"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? Where did you read my story? Pulled from the papers, desperate and hardened, seeking a momentary fix. All I wanted to say, all I wanted to do is fall apart now. All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love. Its all my fault now. A Tragedy I fear."

The first simple notes Edward started out with were repeated throughout the whole song. They lead up to the chorus.

"Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me? Why am I on my feet again? And I see you! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Fortress of daylight, come and I stand by. Waiting to catch the quickest plane. Fly me to nowhere, Is better than somewhere. That's where I've been and nothings changed."

Edward sang with his eyes closed, having memorized the chords to his new song. His voice was amazingly smooth and velvety. I was dazzled.

"All I wanted to say, all I wanted to do is fall apart now. All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love. Its all my fault now. A Tragedy for sure. Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me? Why am I on my feet again? And I see you! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm so lost in you. A tragedy seemed to be over now. A tragedy it seemed to be over now. Angel of Mercy, how did you find me? How did you pick me up again? Angel of Mercy, how did you move me? Why am I on my feet again? And I see you! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you! Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you. Oh Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel you. Oh Oh Oh."

Edward finished with his song before he opened his eyes. I had tears in my own eyes, and some down my face. Edward set his guitar back on its stand as I pulled him close to me. I rested my head against his chest so he couldn't see me crying, although he could probably feel my tears. Edwards heartbeat was like an instrument all it's own, something musically wonderful. So when we said music was in his heart, well we weren't kidding.

We held each other as tight as we could for as long as we could before there was a knock at the door. Carlise was standing in the doorway. "Edward, Bella. We're having lunch in a few minutes. Esme's already set a place for you two. Why don't you come on?" Carlise left the room without a word from us, wanting us to follow him.

We got up silently and left the room, me following Edward. Everyone was already at the dining room table waiting for us. Edward and I sat next to each other before Carlise said prayer. Esme had prepared another favorite of mine, homemade macaroni and cheese, steak and corn. I think they were seducing me with food.

The atmosphere around the table was somewhat tense but that was easily erased with Emmett nearby. "Yes! Mackycheeeeseeee! My favoriteeeee!" Emmett literally picked up the giant salad bowl full of macaroni and made his plate a mountain with it. Nobody could keep from laughing.

"Emmett!" Esme practically yelled. "Save some for the rest of us!"

Emmett stopped halfway through shoveling it into his mouth to whine, "But mommy!"

Everyone around the table laughed.

"Just finish with what's on your plate, alright?" She said sternly. More laughs.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want you upset your mommy, now would we Emmy?" Jasper asked mockily.

Emmett's face turned red. Instead of saying anything he grabbed the spoon from the bowl and put another big amount of macaroni on his plate. "Emmett!" Esme yelled. Jasper snickered.

"But mom!" Emmett whined some more.

"No 'buts'! You better eat everything on your plate and you're cleaning up after lunch." Jasper burst out laughing. "You too Jasper." Jasper immediately stopped laughing. No one else did.

Lunch went by in a blur of playful banter. Jasper vs. Emmett, highly entertaining. By the end of lunch Jasper and Emmett were ready for a wrestling match. Typical lunch. After lunch was over and everyone was leaving Carlise called Edward and I back to the table. "Edward. Bella, there's something we need to talk about. Would you mind sitting back down?"

It wasn't really an option. Carlise sat at the head of the table with Esme to his right and Edward and I to his left. "Bella, I know this is a really hard time for you and I know you don't want to talk about it, but there are some things that need to be discussed." I nodded even though I was completely dreading for what was to come next. "In your parents will they left us as your sole guardians, just as they were for Alice, Edward and Emmett. But since you're almost eighteen you can be recognized as a legal adult if that is your wish. Now you know you are more than welcome to stay here and live with us, I think we'd actually prefer it but if you would like to live on you're own well... it's your choice."

I didn't even have to think. "I'd like to stay here," I whispered.

Carlise must have heard me. "We will clean out the extra bedroom for you but it's going to take a couple of days so until then you can continue sleeping where you were." Carlise smiled.

I did not. "Is that all?" I asked, really wanting to get out of here as much as I could.

Carlise sighed, recognizing my pain. "There just one more thing. We're planning the funeral so you don't have to worry about it, but if you want to help us-"

I cut him off, "No, no. That's okay. I trust you both. You were after all best friends." I did everything I could to not look at Esme. "Thank you, but I really have to go." And with that said I ran out of the room as fast as I could only hearing Edward call my name.

Angel of Mercy, how did you find me?
Where did you read my story?
Pulled from the papers, desperate and hardened,
Seeking a momentary fix. All I wanted to say,
All I wanted to do is fall apart now.
All I wanted to feel, I wanted to love.
Its all my fault now. A Tragedy I fear.
Mercy, by OneRepublic

Thank you so much for continuing to read. I know the waits been long. I'm leaving
for Florida on July 1st (Wednesday) so hopefully I'll be cranking out some more
chapters down there (people who have read my stories previously might understand
that better than others). Oh... and PLEASE REVIEW! :P