A/N: And we now return you to the angst-fest. (insert standard disclaimer here)
Day 2
I had wanted to just hide in my little cave – the one near the Bone Pit – until I could meet up with Lucia on Isabela's ship. I wanted to curl up and sleep until those next five days passed. But my body wouldn't let me.
Growls coming from my stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten anything since the day before last… the day I destroyed the Chantry. Even then, I hadn't had much. Not much point in wasting food on a dead man. Yet here I was, still breathing… with my stomach complaining at me. It seemed such a normal thing.
I tried not to venture too far from my hiding place, but I made the mistake of looking at Kirkwall. No longer my home.
I ran. I was already on the Wounded Coast by the time my legs gave out. I think I just fell face first onto the sand, not really caring that I was out in the open.
My stomach was still complaining.
I eventually worked up enough strength to wander about and find something edible. Just some roots and tubers, but they were plentiful enough that I could spend the rest of the day looking for another hiding place… one where I couldn't see Kirkwall from.
I had put the explosives in the Chantry to ensure that the Grand Cleric would die in such a manner that everyone would know she was dead. It was excessive, but it had to be. I had to show everyone… what? That mages were dangerous? That Elthina really was the only thing holding the city together? What was I trying to prove?
She needed to die.
Justice finally "spoke" up from within the deep recesses of our shared mind. Yes, the Grand Cleric had to die… to spark the war that had already been brewing. The only thing she had ever done to keep the peace was to pretend it wasn't there, that things weren't out of control.
But they were. She needed to die, and we made sure that happened.
What if there had been another way? Would we have taken it?
This is the justice mages have been waiting for.
I knew that all too well. Without the Grand Cleric to hide behind, everyone could see just how corrupt the tempars were. Things had to get worse before they got better.
And from the screams and cries I heard while fleeing, things had gotten much worse. I hoped that Lucia was all right. It surprised me when I didn't hear Justice complain that she was a distraction… that it served no good for me to dwell on her. Perhaps that meant that my task was complete.
Our task will never be complete.
Of course it won't. It never will be. There will always be those who fear and despise mages, who would see us locked away or killed for our gifts. And as long as those people existed, so too would the templars.
But what more could I do? I made the tear in the Chantry's blanket that hid their corruption, showing the world the secret war that had been raging for centuries. Now… I was just one mage.
No… I was just an abomination. And Justice didn't disagree.