Disclaimer: Kazuki Takahashi owns Yugioh. I'm just using his characters for a while.
A/N: I thought I'd post the second chapter, since it's done already. The general mood of the story will be something like this.
Ch. 2 What We're Afraid Of
I know it was a little presumptuous of me but I took Anzu out for coffee. I had to sort out my feelings for her. Yuugi didn't seem to mind. I even called him to make sure it was okay. He assured me it was, he even said that Anzu and I should try to rekindle our friendship.
She was waiting for me at the coffee shop when I arrived. She was smiling and wearing a black turtleneck and red skirt, and though she didn't look that young anymore, it brought me back to the time of Duelist Kingdom for a moment. Had she picked that outfit out on purpose?
"Good morning" She greeted me. As I imagined, she was her usual perky self.
I regretted that even when we were in high school, I had never learned much about her. Now, hopefully this was my chance to get to know her and quell my feelings for her.
We sat at a small table and ordered coffee. The average person could have imagined that Anzu and I were going out, or happily married. How wrong that person would be.
"So how is your life going?" I asked her after a few sips of coffee.
Her smile seemed to disappear.
I got that feeling that some people get when they hear about an approaching typhoon.
"To tell you the truth Jonouchi, I'm afraid." She whispered. I had to lean in to hear her. I thought I had heard her wrong, but her eyes told me everything.
"To marry Yuugi?" I asked, startled. What had happened between them?
She seemed surprised that I caught on so fast. "Yes." she said lowering her head, her eyelashes hiding her eyes, "I think I may have to call the marriage off."
Never had I seen Anzu like this before. I couldn't believe she was saying this. And to me- she was saying this to me.
"You mean, you're seeing another man. Or is this something else? Do you still love Atemu?" Now that I knew it, I used his real name. Anzu looked shocked to hear his name, at least.
But she only shook her head.
"No, it's not him. It hasn't been him for a long time." She faked her smile.
I could tell Anzu was sad, depressed even. If she didn't want to get married, she could always wait. I wanted to tell her just that but she opened her mouth before me and I just had to know the rest of this.
"Jonouchi, remember how I wanted to be a dancer?" She said. Then she laughed like she had just told a joke that wasn't funny, but there was no happiness on her face.
It was like she was trying to hide something that was obviously there.
I nodded regardless.
"I never got to be one. My father went into debt and I used the money I had saved to pay for it. I never imagined I'd give away something I had worked so hard on, but just like that it was gone."
I knew she had never went to New York after high school but I hadn't known that was the reason why. How sad... I could relate to her. Never in my life would I have thought that Anzu would go through a situation almost identical to my own.
She continued. "I attended the community college. Then I worked as secretary for a small law office. I've been there the whole time. I've never left."
So she had never left the town at all. All this time we could have learned more about each other. All this time she was just around the corner or across the street. Where had that time went?
"I'm sorry Anzu." I touched her arm to comfort her, "You deserved to have your dreams come true." I wanted to say more but I couldn't. There wasn't anything I could think of.
"Please don't tell Yuugi." She whispered, even softer this time.
"But he should know-"
"Please don't tell him." I couldn't help but agree. If Anzu trusted me this much to tell me, I couldn't go blabbing my mouth around.
We just sat there in silence looking at each other.
I just couldn't figure it out. She had been so happy at dinner the other night, or had she? I couldn't even remember if she was. Was I too focused on her body to concentrate on her face? A long time ago I was that sort of guy, but not anymore.
She excused herself soon after and left me there, lost in her story. When I looked at her side of the table I noticed her coffee cup was still full.
I could tell that Anzu's sadness wasn't directed at Yuugi. Instead, she lashed out at herself. I wondered if she asked herself at night if her dreams were ever going to come true. But at the same time I told myself, this is Anzu! She always has a firm grasp on her dreams. She was class president while busing tables. But maybe since high school, that Anzu had changed.
Where had that time went? I asked myself over and over again as I sat there.
On the bus home I wondered about my own goals. I don't think I even accomplished half of what I had set out to do
I looked out of the window to calm myself and noticed a butterfly flying on the road. I was kind of out of it, so I of watched it for a few split seconds. I don't look at butterflies very often, but this one was kind of beautiful. It danced with the traffic, being blown wherever the wind would take it. Huge gusts would take it dangerously close to oncoming cars, but still it continued to fly, as if it were trying to find a way out of the madness. I didn't want it to get hit, even though I knew I couldn't stop the bus.
When I got home I went straight for the couch and laid down. I had a headache from something. It's funny how headaches hardly ever appear when you're doing something fun, but when you're doing the same old stuff day in and day out they always come and they always hit hard.
I laid on the couch for a good twenty minutes but my headache didn't go away. But just laying there, doing nothing, got me thinking. It got me thinking about Mai.
She moved in with me and we got engaged when I was 23. We had been together ever since she had come back from where ever the hell she had been. Out of the blue she just decided to move her stuff to my place. And then, just as quickly and without warning, she moved out and the marriage was off. It wasn't anything I had done, I knew she liked me and was satisfied with me. The real reason was because she hated being tied down. She had her own road to travel before settling down with me and I couldn't hold that against her.
It was late at night at the time. We were in this very apartment, sitting on this couch and we had just finished watching a movie. I couldn't even remember the movie we had been watching but the blueish light from the TV screen bounced off the shirt she was wearing making her seem melancholy. Or that was just my impression of her.
"You know Jonouchi, sometimes I just get this feeling that I have to leave." She had told me one night. "It's not you or anything about you. It's just when I get the feeling that... that I just got a new car and I'm driving it off the lot and all of a sudden there's this red light and I can't do anything but stay still. I just sit still and then my mind starts going blank. I need to feel the wind against my face to help me think, I can't just sit still forever. It feels kind of like that."
Despite being dumped at the time, I listened to her every word. Mai had probably never shared her feelings like this before and it was a good feeling to have her talking to me like that.
She didn't have nearly as much make up on as she usually did. It was like I was looking at her true face.
"Do you know what I'm saying to you?" She asked. I said the first thing that came to me.
"I'll be here when you get back" I said. Sometimes the best things I said came without thinking at all.
"You didn't need to tell me that" Her tone wasn't unfriendly and she smiled at me when she said it. A true smile. I knew I had said the right thing.
A few days after that she left. I decided it was best not to rack my mind about her, or how I could have made her stay. It shocked me that I had let her go so easily, but then, it was Mai. I knew she had her own life.
I had a few relationships with other girls after that but it was never anything serious. They seemed to come and go as the seasons changed and then one season I ended up with no girl at my side at all. It had stayed like that until now.
It felt unnatural to hope that Mai would come back because I didn't need to hope. I had a feeling she would come to stay one day.
Of course that day hadn't come yet.
I had a dream that night. Anzu was in it. But of course, who else? She was in a classroom dressed in her old school uniform, but her face was still that of the way she was now. She was looking out the window. I came up to her and snaked my arms around her waist.
"So how are you Anzu? You didn't drink any of your coffee and still left me with the bill. That was wasteful of you." I guess I thought of money even in my dreams.
As for Anzu though, her look was strange. She was staring out the window but her gaze seemed out of focus.
She shivered in my arms. "I'm afraid of it Jonouchi."
I looked in her direction but saw nothing. It looked like there was a concrete wall in front of the window or a gray, gray fog. Whatever it was it gave me a feeling of hopelessness- like there was no way to look past it or get around it. It felt like reaching a dead end in a maze.
"It makes me so cold Jonouchi." She said, turning around so I could hold her even tighter, which I did.
"Don't worry Anzu, I've got you." I heard my voice. It sounded like some dirty pervert.
"We both see it I think." She ignored the comment. "The thing that makes me afraid. It's going to take us if we're not careful. I'm not very careful and neither are you."
"What are you saying?" I was so confused.
"Nevermind." She said, walking out of my embrace. "I need to find Yuugi now." She walked straight to the door.
She was about to leave when she spoke to me again. "You should turn the lights on, you'll see it better."
Of course, I didn't know what she was talking about. In this dream, the lights were already on.
A/N: (Skip it if you want to) What I really love about Anzu is she's responsible for the sadder and softer moments in the series. The trials she goes through are the ones that are happening in the present because we never really see her past. And if you wanted my honest opinion, I'm totally neutral when it comes to Anzu. I'm just one of those people who sits back and watches the fireworks if you know what I mean.
And now I've talked too much. Thank you for reading and thank you for reviewing.