Disclaimer: I don't own House or any of it's characters. I also don't own MST3K, I snagged some quotes because they fit House oh sp perfectly.
A/N: If you thought I'd never update...well, here it is. Review or it will take me even longer to update again.
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"What if today's the day, it all falls together?"
The thought was almost haunting, but it ran through Wilson's mind as he hopped the little wall and opened the glass door that separated his office from House's.
He did this just as House walked through the one leading in from the hallway. Wilson sat in an empty chair away from the others, who had been on time, like they should be, twiddling their thumbs while waiting for the man who had just walked in, the one that wasn't him, that is.
"He died gargling"
House gently dropped the file of Thomas A. Prinscly (not that he knew that was his name) on the table in his office currently occupied by three surprised, young doctors.
"What?" chase looked up from his sudoku.
"He died gargling, case closed."
"Our patient died gargling? Are you serious…like, he died while or from gargling?" Foreman sat arms crossed, eyebrow cocked.
"Yes from gargling. Well I guess it's kind of like drowning, or choking, actually."
"Who would want this man to die gargling?" Cameron looked shocked.
"Gee Davey, do you think it was …God?" House mocked imitating Goliath.
"No, that's not what I meant." She had her 'let's save all the cuddly bunnies of the world' expression on her face. " After all he's been through…I mean we were so close to figuring this all out, and now someone has to go tell his family 'It wasn't lupus, well, we're not really sure what it was…you see, he died while brushing his teeth.""
"And it looks like you've just volunteered!"
Before an argument could break out Wilson stood and announced he had to talk with House.
"It seems my presence is needed else where, duke this one out kiddies.
The two older doctors walked out together and made their way down the hallway.
"House, I can't come over tonight."
"Why that means I've won, doesn't it?" It seemed at that moment a thought literally hit him and he began to protest this.
"You have to come over, I rented Dracula and Star Wars."
"Which ones?"
"Dracula or Star Wars?"
"Both."
"Bela Lugosi and all of them."
Wilson didn't want to watch Bela Lugosi as Dracula, or Star Wars tonight. He wanted to win his bet, but the chicken inside him was taking over.
"I don't want to watch Bela Lugosi or Star Wars tonight. Those movies aren't even realistic. I have a conference anyways." The lies rolled off his tongue. In all honesty he loved watching those old corny horror movies, especially with House sitting next to him making fun of every little thing that could be poked fun at going on in the flick.
"Of course their realistic, remember if you're bitten by a bat you will convulse and turn into one, it's a scientific fact, I know, I'm a doctor.
Wilson just sighed. He didn't need another pointless argument. House was always right, even when he wasn't. Why he was just Mr. Master of the Earth, controlling everything, and everyone inside of it. He wasn't sure if House considered him close to an equal, maybe set him on a slightly shorter pedestal, or not, but House sure as hell took advantage of him whenever it seemed convenient, or whenever he just wanted to bug the hell out of his one and only friend.
"Well, I guess that makes you Mrs. Master of the Earth." House retorted.
Wilson hadn't realized he'd been talking out loud. He guessed he'd been "in the moment".
"Also, I better not speak my inner rantings out loud to the only person I have inner rantings about." This time his thought was kept to himself.
They walked in unison down the hall leading to the clinic.
"And you don't have a conference, I checked." House quickened pace leaving Wilson staring at the back of his Rolling Stones t-shirt.
Wilson was saved from further confrontation, just in the nick of time, by Cuddy. He'd purposely had them venture off in her general direction knowing she'd need to yell at House for something or another and he could make his speedy escape. He'd only needed to let House know he wasn't coming then dash off.
"House, your patient almost died. You can't just inject him with whatever pops into your head."
Wilson took this as his cue to sneak away.
"Sorry, I was distracted by the fifteen pounds of ass inside your seven pound capacity pants."
"House…" Anger was beginning to seep into her words
"Relax, luckily this procedure was done before death was invented."
"I'm serious, come with me."
"What? Here? Now? I mean I want to do it but WOW!" He spoke loud enough for all to hear.
People's heads turned and stared at the two with disapproving glares.
Cuddy sent an apologetic glance back before leading House to her office.
Waiting for the two doctors sat a couple. House, of course, didn't recognize them. But as he heard the door click shut behind him and saw an exasperated and pleading look from cuddy directed at him, he knew that he probably should know them. Probably the parents of the boy he'd "almost killed." Who, thankfully, was not the man who'd gargled himself to death.
"Okay, you've got me, what are we looking at and why are we looking at it?" He faked a look of pure bafflement and childlike suspicion. All he got in return was a warning glare from both Cuddy and…the boy's mother? He already disliked this woman, more so, at the moment, than anyone else he'd decided to dislike just after meeting them.
House pretended to concentrate hard for a few moments before peeking out of one eye at the occupants of the room, then shaking his head in disappointment.
"Apparently, hoping this…situation… is going to go away didn't work."
"What where you thinking? That we weren't going to confront you about this? A mother has to stand by her son, protect him. You make doing that very hard."
She was very pissed off.
"A mother has got to stand by her son no matter what a loser he is." He said in his "as a matter of fact" voice.
"I didn't do it for kicks and giggles. I don't do dangerous procedures because the effects make me happy" He switched to his overly excited voice." I love it! Look, Larry's corneas are bleeding!"
"His name is Bradley and I don't…"
"Look, that was an unofficial thing I just did." He mocked. "But it saved his life. Now store this image away for a later nightmare, you get in my way and he'll die. Unless the first stage of grief is pure unbridled joy, if you don't listen to me, you'll be hitting rock bottom by, " He checked his watch, "gee, if I don't hurry up you might be late!"
With that said he turned and walked out the door leaving the baffled parents and a, this not unheard of, furious Cuddy to mend the situation. He was looking for Wilson, that minor distraction wasn't going to get his friend off the hook.