Author Note: Well, it seems that there was enough interest in this story for me to continue it, albiet I couln't get the chapter out as soon as I would have liked. Nonetheless, here's chapter two. No song, but don't worry, there'll be more down the line. Like I said, I have plot to go with this, so I need some prose to establish things in the meantime. Hope you enjoy. Happy reading.

Tales of Avenue Q
Chapter Two
Welcome to the neighborhood. It sucks. You're gonna love it.

"Well, I'll be in my office, first floor." And with one last jovial smile, Gary exited the apartment, leaving just Lloyd and Zelos.

Lloyd took another sweep of his new apartment. So this is where I live now. Huh.

The sound of police sirens came through the thin-paned windows on the opposite wall. The windows themselves looked like they may never open again, painted shut with a generous coat of the same color as the door, universally know as "baby-puke green." The furnishings were spare, really, it looked like the place had just been ransacked. There was nothing to hide the run-down wood flooring that hadn't seen a good polish since perhaps when the complex was first built. There was a fridge, but Lloyd noticed that a box of discolored paint and naked gas pipes stood where one might expect an oven to be.

There was a second room, a designated bedroom, that he knew would be just as empty as the entry-room, and a small bathroom that he prayed to Martel at least had a toilet in it.

Later he would come to regard his apartment as an utter crap-hole. But for right now, he was just happy that he wouldn't have to sleep on a bus bench or construct a forest-fort in the local park, or be adopted into a clan of mole people living in the subway tunnel, or any other absurd idea. He'd quite seriously pondered these when he had balanced his account book in the run-down motel where he had been staying that was already growing too expensive for him. Things often took awhile to truly dawn on Lloyd, and he was sure he would be absolutely ecstatic in a few minutes, having finally found a place. A man could do a lot worse…

…he tried to convince himself.

"Well, listen up kid." Zelos once again had his arm slung around Lloyd's shoulder. Lloyd grimaced. What was with this guy? He was so clingy… "If you ever need anything just come to us. That's me and my fiancé. We live one over, that's apartment A 2-2. Try to remember that."

"Yeah… sure…" Lloyd untangled himself from his overly friendly neighbor and walked a few more feet into his new home.

"So, place is kinda empty, right?" To prove it, Zelos' voice echoed off the pale green walls. "You got any stuff to fill it up?"

"Well, I have some stuff at the storage place I'm renting right now. But it's only-"

"Great! I'll call a cab!"

"You- Huh?" Lloyd started forward in confusion as Zelos made for the door.

He looked back and smiled. "Don't worry, kid. I'll help you deck out your bachelor pad." His smile turned into more of a smirk. "I'm just gonna head over to my place and call for a ride. So, what, we gotta stop at your hotel and pick up your luggage and then pick up the stuff you got in storage?"

"Uh…" Lloyd was slowly catching onto what Zelos was offering to do. "Uh, yeah. That sounds right." Zelos had come off as really annoying at first but he was turning out to be pretty helpful. Having lived in the country all his life, Lloyd had come to believe that everyone who lived in the city were selfish, arrogant jerks. Guess he was wrong…

"Great! I'll meet you in the lobby!" Zelos started forward again but, backpedaled before he got into the hall. "Oh, and yeah kid. Just so you know…" He reeled his arm for Lloyd to come closer, hesitantly, he did.

Zelos had him stand beside him in the doorway and planted a hand on Lloyd's head. He pointed him in the direction his other hand was pointing too. "Like I said, me and Sheena live right next to you." He directed Lloyd's head to the door several feet over. "And at the end of the hall, that door there…" he twisted Lloyd's neck until he saw the aforementioned apartment. "That's where the Sages live. Raine and her little brother. They both have this like bright white hair. Like they're albino or something. Raine's nice, but kinda uptight, you know? If you want advice, go to her. She's really smart. And then…"

Lloyd cringed as he heard his neck crack, Zelos didn't seem to mind. Lloyd found himself staring at a wall. Or maybe through a wall.

"There're these new kids who live around the bend. A guy and a girl, like a couple of lovebirds. I've never seen them, though I think they're names are like… Emily and Martin or something, I don't know. You'll see their cat more than you see them. Yeah, somehow they got Gary to let them have a cat. Oh by the way, tip for you: if you do see that cat, run the hell away."

Lloyd didn't know what do say. What kind of advice is that?

"W-why?" he managed.

"I don't know why, but bad things always happen when you see that cat. BaD tHiNgS."

"What… what kind of…"

Zelos launched into another tangent, "I tried to pet it this one time. It's a cat, you know, its cute. But the damn thing clawed me and the thing got infected. Next thing I know I got a rash over my entire body and Sheena wouldn't touch me for two weeks!" He recited the story as if it was a traumatic experience for him.

"Maybe you were just allergic-"

"No, it's the cat," Zelos insisted in a suddenly stern deadpan. "It's evil."

"O-kay…" Lloyd could manage nothing more than an embarrassed smile, an expression that he had the feeling he was going to be using more frequently now.

Well at least the building has… character.

Anyway, the two that own the little Satan-spawn, they never see the light of day," Zelos continued. "Makes me kinda wonder what they're doin' in there. Heh heh heh…" he grinned lecherously, making Lloyd even more uncomfortable, but Zelos changed subjects like one might change channels on a TV. "Oh yeah, and then there's this even newer girl."

Zelos, still gripping Lloyd's head like it was a toy in a claw-machine, wrenched it so that he was staring at the wall just before the hallway turned left. "She lives right next to Raine- can't see it, the corner's in the way. Her name's Colette. I've seen her around more often than the other two, but she's not home a lot. She leaves in the morning and comes back late in the afternoon. She's kinda cute. Maybe I should introduce you."

"Uh… thanks but no thanks." His new neighbor was getting annoying again. Lloyd wrestled with the red-head's grip on him.

"You sure? Aw." As if he hadn't even noticed Lloyd's efforts, Zelos let go of him. He straightened up and sullenly rubbed his neck.

"Other than that, there's this blue-haired, midlife crisis guy who lives upstairs, and this old blond guy named Remiel. He's kinda creepy, I really hope he doesn't have grandchildren."

Zelos tapped his foot on the floor. "And downstairs lives Kratos and Yuan. You saw them before, the one with the electric blue hair is Yuan, and the one with the insanely spiky dark red hair is Kratos. They're roommates, even though they're both grown men. They fight like an old couple though, it's pretty hilarious.

"And I've also heard that there's someone who lives in the basement apartment, but they see even less daylight than the lovebirds. Probably doing some evil experiments," he chuckled. "So… yeah. That's everyone!"

Lloyd was fairly confident that he would not be able to remember all those names. "What about the rest of the apartments?" Particularly Lloyd was thinking of the door right across from his which he was staring at right now.

"Nope. Vacant." Much to Lloyd's relief, Zelos finally got out of his new apartment and stood in the hall with his arms behind his head. "This isn't the most popular part of town you know."

Lloyd wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Well, I'll go call that cab. Meet you in the lobby in ten!" Zelos walked the few feet of hallway that separated their two apartments and let himself in. Lloyd sighed and closed his door glad to be rid of his overly helpful new friend. For the moment.

He paced back into his new dwelling, still rubbing the strained muscles in his neck. "Man, its been a long day already, and its only…" After scanning the room again Lloyd realized, with mild annoyance, that he did not in fact own a clock. He shrugged it off. "Oh well, I'll buy one somewhere along the way."

With whose money? that derisive part of his brain posed.

"Maybe I can take a quick nap before we have to leave." He looked around, but currently he did not have a bed, a couch or even a ratty old blanket to spread on the floor. "Well, that'll change once I get my stuff." Annoyed, he shuffled over to the fridge. "Maybe I'll just have a snack before I go." Pulling on the handle, all he found inside was an open box of baking soda, a very sticky looking dark stain on the bottom of the fridge and empty shelves.

Lloyd paused, eye twitching, then looked up at the ceiling. "Are you kidding me?"

In defeat, he lowered himself to the floor and rocked back until he was leaning against one of the counters. He kicked the fridge door closed with his foot, as his stomach growled. When he thought about the money needed to actually buy food he had only one thing to say, "I am so screwed…."

Lloyd stayed that way until it was time to go.

Ten minutes later, when Lloyd was waiting in the lobby for Zelos, a man with dark red hair walked into the room. He was wearing a moody expression, and carried a single plastic bag bearing the logo "Marble-Mart." Lloyd recognized him from the description Zelos gave him.

Lloyd stepped out into the man's path. "You're Kratos, right?"

Kratos came to a halt and looked down at the obstruction. His expression was unreadable. "Yes." "Hi," Lloyd said, not deterred in the slightest. "I'm new here. I'm Lloyd." He offered his hand to shake along with a goofy grin.

Something flashed in the man's eyes. "Your name is Lloyd?"

Lloyd slowly withdrew his hand. "Yeah…." His friendly gesture was quickly melting into an awkward silence. At hearing this, Kratos' expression suddenly turned severe. Lloyd could feel every inch of his face being scrutinized by the older man's dark red eyes. Lloyd took a step back, his face flush. "H-hey. Why are you staring at me like that?"

Kratos turned away quickly, realizing the intensity of his gaze. "I-" He cleared his throat. "It's nothing."

"O-kay?" Lloyd pondered if this kind of behavior was also normal among city folks. If so, then he was never going to fit in. "Hey Llooooooyd!" Both of their heads turned to find Zelos barreling down the stairs.

Seeing the intrusion, Kratos hastily nodded to Lloyd, already backing up. "…good to meet you, Lloyd." The phrase was left half-heartedly incomplete. "Huh?" But Kratos was already out of sight down the hall. "Hey! Watch this, kid!" Zelos beckoned, like a child showing off to his mother. Zelos slid down the banister and launched himself into the lobby. He stuck the landing like a gymnast, his face merely inches from Lloyd's. The surprise sent Lloyd reeling, and he ended up on his butt in the middle of the floor.

"Tada!" Zelos chimed.

"Nice trick," Lloyd muttered sarcastically from the floor.

"Thank you, thank you, I know." Zelos seemed to be off in his own little world, bathed in a spotlight and listening to the applause of thousands.

Lloyd pulled himself to his feet. "What is wrong with people here…?"

"Oh, don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll love us eventually." Zelos was apparently back in reality and wasted no time zipping over to Lloyd like a magnet. "So! I see you got to meet Kratos, eh?"

"Yeah. Is he… always so flustered like that?"

"Flustered?" He zipped back and looked Lloyd in the eye. "Never heard him described that way before! Maybe Yuan did the laundry wrong again. I know that gets to him…"

"Right…"

"Anyway! C'mon, we gotta go get your stuff. Burning daylight here!" With that, Zelos grabbed a hold of Lloyd's wrist and yanked him out the door.

From around the corner, Kratos exhaled deeply and buried his face in his palm, praying that no one had seen that his face had turned just as red as Lloyd's.

After a moment more to recover, he turned tail and continued down the hall.