"Wussy."
"Shut up!"
"Wussy!"
Butthead held up his hand threateningly at Beavis, who hunkered down and held his hands up in defense, immediately shutting up. Seeing that he was going to be quiet now, the brunet lowered his arm, crossing them and peering off aggravatedly in the other direction as they both waited for the bus. His cheeks were swollen in embarrassment.
Last night, he and Beavis (well, mostly Beavis; he just stood in the doorway and watched) had turned his room upside down in search of something nice he could wear. They were too poor to have possessed a tux, which was what the blond had suggested, and the classiest thing he had was a pair of worn out jeans and a plain black shirt. It took about an hour to convince Butthead to change into said clothes, and when he did, he refused to leave his room and threatened to hit B with the bat if he didn't go away, locking him out and chickening out of it.
He hadn't actually changed back into his favorite outfit; as they stood in the humid morning air, he tugged at the side seams of his pants, not liking how tight they were on his thighs. His shorts were a lot looser.
After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Beavis pulled his comb out of his pocket and began to mess with his hair, glancing up at his (much) taller friend.
"So, uh, heh heh m heh, um."
"What?" Butthead looked over with an eyebrow raised and his mouth shaped into a frown. Nonchalantly, the blond took a step to the side.
"Um, you like, aren't in your AC/DC shirt today, Butthead." He pocketed the comb, shoving his hand into the little space there was left. A smile was spread on his face like always.
Butthead made a face and shrugged, blowing a bubble with the gum he had been chewing. He took a step forward and glanced down the road, looking to see if the bus was coming yet.
Being hit with realization, Beavis's smile grew wider and he pinched his eyebrows.
"Heh heh heh, why?"
Butthead was silent for a second, stepping farther out into the road and over-exaggerating leaning to the side to see. "Uhhhh, I woke up kinda late today and didn't have the time to change, or something."
"Heh heh m heh! Butthead, no offense, but you suck at lying."
Defensively, the brunet whirled around, puffing his cheeks angrily at Beavis, spitting, "Yeah? Well maybe you suck at-" he hesitated, stumbling over his words, "-uh, everything! You suck at everything and you're a dirty butthole, you buttknocker!"
"Don't call me buttknocker, asswipe!" Beavis screeched loudly, shaking his fists in front of him. He turned red with annoyance and the two stared each other down, Butthead's spine still twisted as he stood in the middle of the road. Before any other words could be exchanged, the bus driver laid on the horn, scaring the ever-loving piss out of Butthead, who flinched heavily at the sound and sheepishly moved onto the sidewalk so she could pull up further. Beavis thought it was hilarious and was cackling, but the brunet didn't do anything about it because there were people on that bus that witnessed everything that happened the previous afternoon with the lockers and he needed to seem cool today.
They both got on and moved to their usual seat in the back of the bus, Beavis still giggling uncontrollably at his still crimson-faced friend, the bus driver mumbling something under her breath about "jackass kids". Some kid had his backpack thrown into the side of their seat closest to the window, and when Butthead picked it up and turned around to toss it at him, the kid glared at him boldly. In a normal situation, the brunet would've made the person take it anyway, but he figured that the letterman he was wearing and his bulky arm muscles meant he was a jock and wouldn't be afraid to fight. Defeatedly, Butthead breathed hard out of his nose and put it back where it was, squeezing in between the bag and Beavis, who had no problem fitting because of his skinny frame. He also didn't really mind how close he had to sit to his brunet friend, who felt the complete opposite.
"Ummm... heh heh, um. Hey, Butthead?"
"What, Beavis?"
"You said you didn't really have time to get ready this mornin', and you like, didn't want to wear what you have on, but you had to anyway?"
"Yeah."
"Heh heh m heh, is that why you're wearin' cologne, too?"
...
Butthead nervously toyed with his hair as they walked down the hallway, mistakenly believing that strands that he had smoothed back like he usually did were losing the stickiness of the gel and sticking up. Beavis noticed his friend's anxiety and figured that he was nervous over Daria. Gently, he nudged Butthead's arm to get his attention. The taller one looked down at Beavis wordlessly, worry clearly spread across his face.
"Hey, listen, heh heh," the blond whispered (as quietly as he could, anyway; Beavis was naturally a bit loud and had to try and speak over the white noise of the hallway chatter), "You look kinda scared right now, jus' sayin'."
Butthead's shoulders slumped a bit and he began to fidget with his hair again. "Dammit, Beavis, you think I didn't know that?" He sounded more disappointed than angry. He ran a tongue over his braces insecurely. "Uh huh huh, you know, Beavis, it's not like I'm used to this or anything. It's all weird crap that's just been happening recently and stuff, and like, I'm at school, and I'm dressed up, and she's gonna see me like this and I'm just trying too hard and this sucks ass." He said everything in one breath and had to gulp in air when he was done, detouring his friend from going in the direction of Van Driessen's so they could talk a little more before he had to face anybody else. They had time to kill anyway; the morning bell didn't ring for another eight minutes.
"Well, heh heh m heh. Hm." was all Beavis said, continuing his usual grunting and mindless staring at nothing particular in the room. Butthead let out a small groan of misunderstanding as to why he couldn't hold a decent conversation half the time and went back to his fidgeting.
"I, um, heh heh, well, Butthead, you're not laughin' at everything, which is one thing." Beavis finally said, awkwardly squishing up to Butthead's side as somebody walked next to him and left no room, not smart enough to just move behind the brunet for a second.
"Uhhhh, what?"
"That's why you seem off. Like, usually, you're checkin' out Kimberly's butt and laughin' because somebody said somethin' like "anile". Heh heh heh heh m heh! 'Anile!'" Beavis began to giggle at himself, Butthead joining in. They both laughed at Beavis's comment for a minute before remembering what they were talking about.
"Uh huh huh huh... so like, I should try really, really hard to find things funny and stuff?" Butthead wasn't really messing with his hair anymore, and actually was managing to turn heads but only for a moment, and the only reason being because people were noticing he wasn't wearing that grimy gray shirt he always wore. He got their attention for a max of two seconds before they went back to what they were doing.
"Heh heh, yeah! If you're busy laughin' at a chick's boobs, you won't really care about anythin' else and you won't be all weird anymore! Yeah, see, Butthead, you're gettin' the hang of this already, heh heh m heh..." Butthead tried to hide the smile that was spreading across his face, but Beavis grabbed his arm and leant in, whispering, "But if you wanna get Daria interested in you and stuff, you're gonna have to act a little weird, Butthead, it's not that easy."
Butthead looked at Beavis strangely. "Beavis, just what in the hell do you mean?"
The latter went to speak but was cut off by the sound of the warning bell.
"Heh heh m heh, um... yeah. Heh heh..."
"Beavis!"
"What? Oh. Heh heh, um, like, chicks like it when you tell them they're pretty and that they smell nice and stuff. At least according to all those movies and crap, heh heh m heh..." Shrugging, Beavis brought a finger up to his nose and began to dig at it. All it took was for Butthead to glance around momentarily and see all of the disgusted girls who leant away from the blond that Beavis was pretty much an example of what not to do, even though Butthead never did that anyway. A lump formed in his throat and his hand automatically went to mess with his hair again.
"Uhhhhh, huh huh huh, I don't think I can do that." He looked around anxiously, praying she wasn't nearby, but knowing her she was probably one of the first kids through the doors so she could get to Van Driessen's and shove her nose into Gatsby. They all had to read it for English, except the final project for that quarter was due a long time ago and she was rereading it (for the fifth time, she claimed). Of course, Beavis and Butthead hadn't read it and relied on her to tell them everything that happened before Mrs. Dickey's class. Of course, Daria told them just to keep them off her back about anything else. And of course, they all three got away with it.
Beavis's blue eyes flicked over and he made a face. "What? Heh heh m heh, like, why not? All you gotta do is be like," he cleared his throat and tilted his chin into his neck, lowering his voice, 'Uh huh huh', heh heh, 'huh huh, hey baby,' heh heh, 'you like,' heh, 'look pretty hot today, or something,' heh heh heh m heh."
Butthead crinkled his nose. "Huh huh, not to Daria! She's like, different and stuff. Uh huh huh, and besides, asswipe, I don't sound like that!"
"Oh. Oh yeah. Heh heh m heh, I guess you're right. You sound like this!" Beavis proceeded to make this hissing noise by putting his tongue between his teeth and shook his fists excitedly, spitting everywhere. He shut up after he got a smack to the face.
It was nearly time that they got to class now anyway; even though it was Van Driessen's and they could walk in two minutes before first period ended and he would just give them a small lecture about responsibility without penalty.
Shakily letting out a sigh of anxiety, Butthead rubbed his eye and tugged on Beavis's elbow, the blond letting out a yelp.
"Uhhhh, like, come on, dude, we need to get to Van Buren's class now."
Beavis's face contorted and he let out a high giggle. "Van Buren? Who the hell is that? Heh heh m heh!"
Butthead didn't answer, his face burning hot as he dragged his cackling friend down the hall, feeling like he wanted to throw up. She was undoubtedly going to be in class by the time they got in, so what was he going to do? Was he going to wait until she started to notice him or was he gonna have to make a move right away? He wasn't used to this shit. He was used to seeing the guys with chicks on each arm and being jealous, but only because those were pairs of pants that guy was getting into. He had never genuinely wanted anything more out of a girl than sex (which he never got anyway) and for some reason, he wanted everything but from Daria. Goddammit, hormones. Why couldn't these sort of chemicals gone to his dick like they always did instead of his heart?
Leaving Beavis behind a couple feet before the door, Butthead recollected himself the best he could and prayed his pulse couldn't be seen on his neck. He walked in the room, and all eyes were on him again, but not for long, since Beavis walked his ass in and was acting stupid already. Flicking his eyes over to Daria, he was somewhat relaxed that she could care less and was reading her book, but also somewhat hurt that she hadn't gawked or anything. Easing into his seat, he made a point of clearing his throat, biting his lip raw. Beavis sat down next to him, peering at him with a smug grin on his face. If Butthead wasn't so dead-set on getting this girl's attention, he'd have smacked him.
"Heh heh m heh, hey Butthead."
Butthead looked over, his eyes boring through the blond's skull. He was talking awfully loud. "Beavis."
"When are you gonna do it, Butthead? Ask her! Ask her! Ask he-"
His lips were held shut by his friend, who had shot his arm over and grabbed them, so red he looked like he fell asleep under the sun. "Beavis, please, shut up," he pleaded, and the blond figured that since he asked nicely the least he could do was give him the time of day and focus on something else. If he needed rescuing though, he was ready to jump in any time.
Butthead, leaning back to his original position, cleared his throat even louder and sheepishly kicked the leg of Daria's chair at the same time, glancing away when she set her book down to turn around.
He felt her eyes look him up to down and nearly shivered. Was she checking him out? Was that what she was doing? Was the plan working?-
"So, Butthead, wanted to show off that you finally bought a washing machine?"
Butthead just kinda stared at her for a minute, mouth slightly hung open, and he heard Beavis next to him let out an unsure "um" as to how to respond. Not wanting to leave her hanging, though, his heart raced as to what he should say. The tips of his ears burning off, he pointed at her awkwardly with a finger gun and blurted, "Uh, yes." His face contorted the moment he said it. What the hell? Why would he say that?
Daria, being Daria, just rolled her eyes and turned back around, focusing on her book again. Butthead threw his elbows on his desk and held his forehead in his hands, hiding his face. Beavis leant over slowly, his mouth inches away from Butthead's ear.
"Heh heh m heh, I don't think you were supposed to say that, Butthead."
...
"I'm tellin' you Butthead, heh heh, like, just ask her out."
"Dammit, Beavis, shut up! It's not that easy! Like, you would know if you had a crush on somebody, huh huh..." Standing outside of the lunchroom, Butthead's hands were still firmly clamped on his seams. His face wasn't red anymore, but he was still clumsy and out-of-place with his hair hanging in his face and jeans in 80 degree weather. Everybody else was inside, but the blond had pulled him aside to talk to him. The taller one of the two felt small and babyish. He needed to knock it the hell off, because he didn't really like the way he was feeling. His chest felt like it was full of... something - he had no idea why, but it did - and his heart sat in his throat, blood rushing to places other than his crotch for once. Maybe Beavis was right. The sooner he got it out of the way the sooner it would go away.
"Heh heh m heh, um, like, I'm sick and tired of you just standing here, looking all hot and stuff, and not even doing anything about it!" Beavis grunted a little before getting a lot more dynamic, shaking his fists. "Like, if you're not gonna go in there right now and go up to her and smooth-talk your way through it like you do half the time when you talk to chicks, heh heh, then I'm gonna ask her for you!"
Butthead's heart fell through the floor and he gripped Beavis's shoulders pleadingly, his cheeks bright red.
"Beavis, what the hell! Don't do that, you dillhole, that's like, the worst thing you could do to me!" He was starving and really wanted to eat, but it was clear that Beavis wasn't going to let him eat until he talked to Daria, because each time he tried to leave, a bony hand was placed on his arm and he was pulled back. Flaring his nostrils, he pouted his lip.
"Dammit, fine, I guess I ain't got no choice... I'll go talk to her. You bunghole." Butthead slicked his hair back with his hand, and Beavis grinned with satisfaction. Going to walk into the cafeteria with a shaky gait, the brunet turned back on his heel and pointed in the blond's face, spitting with anxiety, "I hate you and I only hang around you because nobody else is friends with me."
Beavis's smile grew a mile wide and he trailed after his friend, giggling, "Yeah, sure. Okay, Butthead, heh heh m heh."
Butthead stood in the center of the room, unsure of what he was going to do, soaking wet under his shirt. He grabbed the neck of it and moved it a little in an attempt to cool himself down, but the sweat that beaded on his eyebrows and hairline suggested that it didn't work. His skin was rosy again and he desperately wished Beavis would realize that he needed a little bit of space, since he was right up on him with plenty of room around the two. But what would Beavis be without being super clingy and dependant on somebody else?
Butthead blew out a sigh, trying to exhale his nerves. Alright. He was gonna go up to her, sit down, and just flat out tell her how he felt. If he hesitated, he wouldn't ever have the balls to admit his feelings. He hated that he had feelings in the first place; where the fuck did they even come from? He had been sitting there in class one afternoon with nothing else to do and had suddenly just realized how pretty her hair fell and how her glasses complimented the proportions of her face and her lips and-
"Heh heh m heh, Butthead, I'm gonna give you two minutes. And like, heh m heh, when those minutes are up, I'm gonna go up to her and tell her." Beavis pulled his comb out of his pocket and fixed his hair, his tongue in his cheek. Of course he was giggling; that was pretty much how he breathed. The smile on his face peered up at Butthead in a way that made it clear Beavis's immaturity couldn't be challenged and that if the brunet was going to hesitate, his counterpart was not.
"You can't even count to two minutes, you buttknocker," Butthead snapped quietly. He hardly realized Beavis had dug his heel into his toes in an act of annoyance at the nickname, but he was too focused on what he was gonna do. Just go up to her. Go up to her and compliment her something, then drop the bomb and wait. What if she didn't respond, though? What if she just got up and walked away like every other girl he talked to did? (In the girls' defense, though, usually he was seeking for sex. But he felt like this situation wouldn't be too different.) What if she didn't know what to say? What if she laughed in his face and made him feel like he was only inches tall and made him want to crawl under a rock and hide there for a few days? She better consider herself fucking lucky he was gonna act on what he was feeling. For any other girl, he'd have just swallowed the heartache uncomfortably like a huge pill and moved on, but Daria was just too pretty to pass up on. He cursed his hormones something fierce. Finally feeling like he was ready to do something rather than stand in front of the entire lunchroom like an idiot for several minutes like he already had, he cracked his knuckles and looked around for Daria, his pulse heavy.
Wait a minute. Something was off. The raspy breathing that was soundtrack to every hour of his day suddenly wasn't there anymore.
Almost immediately, Butthead was hit with realization like it was a cinderblock at the fact that he had wasted away the two minutes Beavis had given him and the blond was gone. Fear struck through him and his knees buckled momentarily, catching himself before he fell and he stood on his toes. Where did he go? He didn't see Daria or his blond friend, whose hair was big enough that you'd think you'd be able to see him, but his tiny height made him blend in anyway. Running along the edge of the room, he looked around frantically for him - even just Daria - hoping she hadn't been approached yet. When he was alone with Beavis again, he was gonna choke him within an inch of his life.
"Dammit, Beavis, where the hell did you go? You better not do it, bunglick, or I swear to God...!" He had no idea where he went and was screaming into the air.
Suddenly he caught glimpse of the blond hair through the crowd of jocks who had clustered around the trashcans, and of course, Daria was within both of their sights. Tearing across the floor, Butthead stumbled into his friend and ripped him backwards by his collar, trying to clamp a hand on his mouth. Beavis had seen him coming out of the corner of his eye ahead of time and laughed excitedly like he had thought it was a game. He called out the girl's name loud enough for her to look up from Gatsby and give her attention to the two boys, who were practically wrestling each other. Butthead tried his hardest, but no matter what he did, he couldn't get his hand to stay over Beavis's mouth. Everybody in the room grew quiet as they watched the scene they were putting on, and Butthead grew anxious and his entire skin was crimson.
"Daria! Heh heh m heh, Butthead-" His hand was shoved up against the blond's mouth again, and he shoved his fingers in the fringe of his pompadour, pulling it backwards. Beavis let out a laugh and bit Butthead's hand, leading him to yelp out in pain and reel his hand back. Realizing with horror what he had done, it was too late for Butthead to do anything about it now. Everybody was paying attention to them, including Daria, who looked as if she honestly could care less about what was going on, but still watched anyway.
"Heh heh, Butthead thinks you're really pretty and wants to know if you like, wanna date him and stuff! Heh heh m heh!" Beavis felt victorious, booming his voice across the cafeteria, which had stood completely still as everybody turned to listen what he had to say. Butthead felt like he was going to collapse in embarrassment or fear or anticipation; he wasn't sure which. Feeling everybody's eyes on him, but not having anyplace in particular to run, he moved behind his short friend, who chuckled happily to himself, burying his face in his hands and ducking his head behind the golden pompadour. In any normal situation, everybody would continue on with what they were doing, but this time half the cafeteria stared at Butthead and the other half watched Daria. They all figured it was bound to happen sooner or later; Daria was the only girl those two talked to, so it was natural for one of them to develop a crush. After all, they were teenage boys; that was gonna happen. Cassandra talked to them as well, but it was clear they were a lot closer to Daria in some strange 'we-can-be-friends-but-only-if-I'm-allowed-to-insult-you-everyday' sort of way.
Daria looked up at the two boys standing tables in front of her, Beavis beaming and Butthead hidden, but his red skin was clearly visible to her. She pushed her glasses up her nose and made an odd face, which Beavis caught and frowned at, thinking that wasn't too good. His chuckling ceased, and Butthead peered out from behind his fingers, lifting his head a little. His heart stopped beating. What was she doing?
Much to everybody's surprise, she smiled strangely stiffly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Uh, yeah, I guess. Why not?"
The room began to hum in conversation with one another. What a weird couple those two would make; oh well, maybe that means the metalmouth one would stop harassing all the girls and the girl would find something to smile about for once. Just like that, the students of Highland High began to carry on with their business, although that business now included talk about what just happened.
Beavis balled his hands to his chest, beaming widely as he grunted in honest surprise, and whirled around to look at his brunet friend, whose hands had trailed down to his neck. He was still flushed, but a smile he was clearly trying to hide creeped on his face, and that weird ache that had made its home under his ribs had suddenly burst open, flooding his chest with this new feeling he hadn't known existed. Allowing himself to smile, his hands fell to his sides in amazement, and he squeaked out, "Really...?"
Daria shrugged. "Why not?" The two boys stood in wait for her to say anything else, but that was all she would say. Beavis blinked in confusion, but figured it was because she never showed any emotion ever and was just incapable. He hadn't thought he'd seen Butthead that happy ever, and the brunet shakily walked over to her. He didn't know what to say; what did you even say in those situations? He was just so happy and felt worth something for damn once and was going to take a while to register that holy shit, he had a girlfriend now. Now what...?
Daria stood up, book to her chest, and smirked at the braces-wearing boy, who still looked thunderstruck and ears burned red. "That doesn't mean you're gonna be a softie, now, does it?"
Butthead crossed his arms over his stomach sheepishly, forcing himself to laugh. "No, I guess it doesn't, huh huh..." She seemed kind of off, but then again, so was he. It was awkward, but in a couple of days, it would be fine, he figured. The bell rang, cutting the two of them off from saying anything else, and they got caught up in the chaos. Daria pushed her chair in with her hip and gave him a small smile.
"I'll see you later, then." was all she said, and she turned around and blended in with the crowd, and just like that, she was gone.
Butthead stood there, the stray strands in his face again, but the warmth had sunken under his skin by now, and he let it all sink in. She didn't seem too thrilled about it- but she was Daria. She was Daria and never showed any emotion at all. She could be super excited about it but not be able to show it.
Beavis walked up to his side and stared him in the face, biting his lip. "Heh heh m heh, told you it wouldn't be that bad, you butthole," he teased. He was happy for his friend, he genuinely was; it was just that the way she was acting seemed a bit off. Something wasn't right, but the brunet couldn't tell that, he didn't think. He just stood there, smiling a mile wide, warm with affection he didn't know he had and other things.
"Heh heh m heh, um, Butthead, we should probably get to class now." Beavis nudged him, not wanting to be late to Buzzcut's, especially after what happened last time.
Butthead glanced down at Beavis, coming back into reality, and moved his hair out of his eyes. "Uhhh, yeah, okay." He shrugged, leading the way. He couldn't get himself to stop smiling, and the smile didn't leave his face until the end of the day.
Beavis, however, sat and fidgeted in his seat, grunting quietly and gnawing on his pencil. Something was off and the pit of his stomach was sour. He was really hoping that this wasn't going to spiral into something bad. His heart would undeniably break if he had to watch it happen to Butthead. Maybe it wouldn't, though. He'd just have to see.