Chapter Two
Kim's eyes fluttered open after what she assumed was a delightful night's sleep. She was mildly surprised to find herself slumped against the wall in that dismal shack she had dreamt about. It was unusual, she thought, to sleep in a dream and awaken in the same position. Her dreams had never been so fluid before, so unchanging.
She twisted to look at the clock behind her and furrowed her brow. Somehow, instead of the eight hours she assumed had passed, it had merely been ten minutes. She wiped at her face, easing her fingers over her eyes and glanced at the clock again. It told her the same time. What an odd place, she determined. Despite the shortness of her nap, she felt refreshed and stood up. A quick glance out the window affirmed for her that nothing had changed, except for the position of the other persons loafing around.
A memory flashed through her mind from her childhood – curled up against Ann with a quilt tucked around their bodies – Ann's mouth just above her ear with a book cracked open in front of her – You're in the Doldrums, wailed a voice that sounded far away… The Doldrums, my young friend, are where nothing ever happens and nothing ever changes. Ann's use of character voices had made Kim giggle with mirth and squirm for more.
Perhaps that was where she had ended up. She had crossed through the tollbooth from nowhere, driven beyond Expectations, and somehow made a wrong turn while her thoughts were elsewhere. Still, it was an unusual dream to have. She'd rather still be curled up with her mother on a cold winter night giggling.
While the memory made her smile, it also sent a sobering chill through her body. What would her mother think, Kim wondered, when someone found her comatose body? It was impossible that nobody would find her, as she normally contacted her mother once a day through texting or calling. When nothing was forthcoming, Ann would always assume the worst had happened.
Kim leaned down to the floor to pick up her manual. It had slipped from the cot at some point during her nap and portions of its pages were bent against the ground. She smoothed them out and flipped through the thin booklet again. Problem 52, she read again, arose when the soul had been jarred free from the server. The exact cause varied from occurrence to occurrence but generally was fixed by resetting the server, realigning the ports, and testing the connection. Her body had ports, she thought as a humorless smile crossed her lips. That was certainly a new addition. Beyond her understand of the words separately, combined she couldn't make heads or tails of what had happened to her.
She tossed the manual aside. The answers she wanted were clearly not in the supposedly helpful book, so she would take her questions to the streets. Despite her enthusiasm, Kim noted that her hands trembled slightly. She rubbed her hands together to quell any nervousness and stepped out onto the street.
Part of her had expected that something would have changed during her nap, that perhaps someone would have moved, or the light dimmed – anything to show the passage of time. Yet the people were had barely moved, if they had at all. Kim meandered down the street and let her eyes wander.
"Watch where you're going." A terse voice snapped at her.
She sidestepped and dodged past a man who had come to rest in the middle of the street. His eyes flashed at her, but almost immediately the life died from his pupils. Feeling unnerved by the man, Kim restricted her eyes purely to where she was headed. That green-skinned woman had to be around somewhere.
After what felt like ages of searching the streets, Kim had to admit that Shego was a difficult woman to track down. She began backtracking, simply because she didn't want to get too far away from the shack she had chosen as her own. The streets and alleys seemed to go on for miles, and Shego could be in any direction. Later, Kim decided, she would go back to the tiny tiled room where she had first met the woman. Chances were if Shego truly was the welcoming committee that she'd return there.
As she neared her makeshift home, Kim leaned over and selected one of the less broken looking televisions from the gutter. A remote was pinned to the ground beneath it, so she tucked that under her arm before manhandling the large device in her arms. Once she was back in her shanty, she eased the television back to the ground. Although it had no power cord, she decided to try the remote. This was after all a dream – so it would probably just work on its own.
Just as expected, the television flickered on. She found herself staring at a middle-aged balding man. The man patted his stomach and gazed at his reflection in a full length mirror. She heard his voice, though his mouth never moved.
"I just can't seem to keep the muscles on. She'll never want me like this – not when she could be with Derek."
A woman entered the room and smiled at him as he flexed his arms. "Henry, come on. Get dressed. We're going to be late for dinner."
"Oh, sorry, hon." He twisted to look at her and smiled. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"
Kim sat down on the ground, her back resting against a leg of the cot. This was one of the weirdest television shows she had ever seen. She pressed the up arrow on the remote.
A four year old child lay curled up in bed. Bits of moonbeams had come in through cracks in the blinds and illuminated parts of her face. Kim smiled at the peaceful scene before flipping the channel again. Channel after channel gave her visions of what appeared to be the every-day lives of regular people. She leaned up and glanced at the six digit number scrawled across the top of her manual and plugged it into the remote.
The screen shifted and she found herself staring at an image of herself – well, her body – lying in a hospital bed. Her younger brothers were sleeping in arm chairs next to her, and her parents stood at the foot. They held each other close and Kim strained to hear their words.
"She's going to be okay." Ann whispered.
James hugged her head to his chest. "I know."
"One of us should take the twins home."
"Would you move them?"
Ann stared forlornly at her two sons and shook her head. "Perhaps when they wake up, one of us can take them home. It's no use having all of us exhausted and waiting. We don't know when she'll wake up."
James placed his fingers under Ann's chin and tipped her head back. Kim knew it was immature, but she looked away instead of watching her parent's share an intimate kiss. Thankfully her attention was redirected to a clopping on her door. She glanced once more at the television screen before getting to her feet and moving to open the door.
"Newbie…" Whatever sentence had formed on the lips of the other woman died when their eyes met. "Kim?"
Kim stared openly back at the brunette woman across from her. It wasn't possible. It was official, she told herself, she was never going to drink again. "Bonnie?"
Shifting her weight from foot to foot, Bonnie pushed roughly on Kim's shoulder and walked boldly into Kim's shack. "Damn, you would pick the worst of all places to live."
Kim's eyes shot open. "What are you doing here?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Bonnie stared down at the television set and pursed her lips. "Was it an accident? Or…?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Bonnie tapped on the screen. "Your body is in the hospital, and you're here. I didn't know such a smart person could be so dumb."
Kim flinched as Bonnie rolled her eyes, unused to being to openly mocked. Things were moving almost faster than her brain could process. "I don't get it."
"Let me lay it out for you…" Bonnie approached Kim and for the first time Kim noticed that Bonnie looked much the same as she did in high school. "You don't just end up in this hell hole for no reason. So why are you here?"
"The little light thing said it was problem 52."
Bonnie picked up her manual and flipped through it. If Kim wasn't mistaken, she noticed a glimmer of jealousy pass behind Bonnie's eyes.
"A transient problem." Bonnie tossed the manual aside.
"What are you doing here?" Kim repeated her unanswered question, her frustration building slowly in her gut.
"I like to check in on the newbies." Bonnie sniffed haughtily. "See if there's anything of interest. But you, like everyone else in this dump, are a waste of time."
"Hey!" Kim was nearly overwhelmed with the urge to slap Bonnie's all-knowing face. Bonnie's sneer hadn't changed since high school, though it had been a long time since Kim had been on the receiving end of it. "How long have you been here?"
"Four years or so. Give or take a few months."
"Four years…" Kim's eyes widened. "You have to be joking."
"No joke." Bonnie traipsed towards the door. "Well, if we're done here?"
"Wait."
"What now?"
"You can't just leave me like this." Kim insisted. "This is by far the most messed up dream I've had in years."
"Dream? That's what you think this is?" Bonnie cackled. "Call me when that theory falls apart. I'd like to watch you have a mental breakdown."
"I thought we'd moved past this stage." Kim riposted. "I wouldn't call us friends these days, but…"
"Oh yes." Bonnie raised her eyebrows. She drawled slowly, nearing Kim and trailing her fingers down the side of Kim's face. "Did you enjoy my body?"
A fierce blush coated Kim's cheeks as she jerked out of Bonnie's reach. "What?"
"Do the math, dummy." Bonnie flicked four of her fingers out. "Four years. That's four years I haven't been in control of my body. And what's happened in those four years?"
"That… that wasn't you?"
"She can be taught."
Kim struggled a moment. Part of her wanted to kick the sassy woman out of her shack so she could wait for herself to wake up in peace. The other was desperate for the information Bonnie undoubtedly had. Her thirst for knowledge won out.
"How long did they tell you? When you got disconnected?"
A period of silence stretched between them until Bonnie cleared her throat. "I am in a considerably different position than you are."
"Because four years is a long time."
"You think I don't know that?"
"I was told two days, but if you've been here that long…"
"I repeat, Possible, I am in a considerably different position." Kim dropped down onto her cot and rubbed her face with her hands. Bonnie lingered in the doorway a moment longer. On her way out, she called over her shoulder. "You're more entertaining than these slouches. I'll be back in a bit."
Grateful for a peaceful moment to think, Kim didn't respond past a small grunt. She spent the next few minutes examining the lines upon her palm, simply so that she didn't have to think about their exchange. Four years was an awfully long time to be in this place where time didn't seem to move. Already Kim was wondering how long two days amounted to in the waiting room, as opposed to reality.
Her thought froze her in place momentarily. It seemed as if she was operating under the idea that this wasn't a dream. She had to admit, both women she'd run into seemed to find her idea that this was a dream rather funny. Her gaze flickered to the television set – her body and her family seemed real enough, as well.
x-x-x
Jim shifted in his arm chair, a yawn stretching the taut skin on his face. He pawed at his eyes and grumbled before remembering where it was he had slept. His eyes flickered to Kim's body and a fresh wave of tears threatened him. But he held them back when he saw his mother's eyes were on him.
"Hey, mom."
"Can you wake your brother?" She whispered. "I was thinking about taking you two home to get some real rest."
Jim shrugged. A bed wouldn't make his sleep any more restful, but he didn't want to add more stress to his mother's load. He leaned over and gently shook Tim's shoulder. Tim grunted and curled more into the cushions. When that failed, Jim pinched Tim's side, hard enough to make Tim squeal and sit up.
"What the hell, man?"
"Sh." Jim's eyes darted to their mother and back to Tim. Tim followed the interaction and nodded slightly.
"Sorry." Tim lowered his voice. "Any change?"
"Mom's taking us home."
"What? Why? We gotta be here when she wakes up."
Ann motioned for them to follow her into the hallway. "Your father will remain here for now. As it is, we've both missed a day of work and both of you have missed classes."
Tim shrugged. "No class is worth something happening to Kim."
Jim nodded his agreement. "Besides, it's all review for finals right now."
"We've got everything in the bag."
"In any event, absences are frowned upon no matter what level of education you're at." Sometimes Ann found herself worrying about her young sons. Despite being sixteen, they were freshmen at an out-of-state university. They could barely drive, but she had to trust that they were staying out of trouble.
"We know, mom." They said in unison.
Inside the hospital room, James watched the shadows that were his family members through the glass pane in the door. They walked away and disappeared from his sight so he lowered himself into the chair where Jim had previously been sleeping.
x-x-x
Kim watched the screen with a growing interest. The twins had gone and her father had taken their spot. His head lowered into his hands and she listened to sobs wrack his body. She wanted to reach through the television and place her hands over his, to tell him that she was alright and that he shouldn't worry.
Instead she had to watch him cry. She reached for the remote to mute it, but changed her mind when he wiped his tears from his cheeks and opened his mouth.
"Kimmie-cub…" He started. A cough interrupted his words, but he pressed forward. "I need you to know."
"Yes?" She found herself leaning towards the television as if he could hear her.
"I'm so sorry if you ever thought I wasn't proud of what you're doing. You're following your heart and that's what's important. When you wake up, I want you to go to medical school. I want you do what makes you happy, even if that's not being a scientist."
The words knocked the breath out of Kim's lungs. She clutched the cot with palms that began to sweat.
"Please," James continued, "be alright."
Unable to take more of this, Kim hit the power button on the remote and the screen went blank. Her father had never been so emotional before, at least not to her. She had always known he loved her, but the level of emotion he had been displaying… An errant tear slid down her cheeks. She shut her eyes and tried to block out the world.
"Kim?"
Bonnie's voice drew her back to what she was starting to accept as reality - this had been on the whole too cohesive, even for a lucid dream. She glanced at the clock and determined that while her eyes had been closed, nearly seven minutes had passed. The clock must be slow, she thought, or at least not wound properly.
"Yes." She responded, hating how her voice sounded defeated.
"What are you doing?"
Kim sat up and wrapped her arms around herself defensively. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Just lazing about. Don't tell me you're giving up already?"
"I'm doing no such thing." Kim retorted. How was it that Bonnie could still manage to pierce her skin with verbal barbs in under a minute of their association?
"Good." Bonnie dragged a chair into the shack.
"Where'd you get that?"
"When you've been here as long as I have, you get to know how things work." Bonnie settled into the chair. "So tell me, how have things changed in the real world?"
"You don't watch any television?"
Bonnie shrugged. "Why should I watch my body do what I would not?"
"What did you want to know?"
Kim went on to tell Bonnie as much as she could regarding mutual friends from high school. She wished she had more she could tell the other woman more about the Rockwaller family, but as she hadn't kept up with them, she had nothing to say. Bonnie listened to most of it in silence, speaking only to ask an additional question, or to direct Kim's attention to another person of interest.
As their conversation drew to a close, Kim found herself asking again, "Don't you watch the television?"
"My channel bores me."
"Well, why not just change the channel to one of your family members?"
"Don't be stupid." Bonnie stated. "There are billions of channels and I'm supposed to just find the ones that focus on my family?"
Kim swallowed roughly as a lump grew in her throat. "I'm sorry – I didn't mean…"
"It doesn't matter." Bonnie shook her head. "But – thank you for filling me in."
The gratitude shocked Kim. She blinked. Surely this was not the same Bonnie that had made her life in high school a living nightmare at times. "You're welcome?"
"Don't act so surprised. Things here get… lonely."
"What do you mean?"
"You've seen the people out there." Bonnie jerked her thumb towards the door. "They lounge around and wait."
"Doesn't seem like there's much else here to do…"
At first a snarl of annoyance fought to curl up on Bonnie's face, but the emotion passed quickly. "But there could be. It seems like nobody wants to live without a body."
"Well, if this is just ephemeral, why not relax?"
"You of all people should find that bothersome." Bonnie arched an eyebrow. "Are you saying you'll willingly become complacent?"
"Of course not!"
"That's what I'm talking about." Bonnie elaborated. "I talk to newbies here because you people haven't lost that spark yet. This place hasn't ground out your humanity yet."
"Why haven't you changed?"
"My arrival here… was not an accident."
"What happened?"
"It doesn't matter. It was a mistake, one that I can't take back." Bonnie grabbed Kim's remote and changed the channel to her own. "As you can see, my body is a bit occupied these days. I can't go back."
Kim fought to understand. "If you're really you and you're here, then who's in your body?"
"That's a good question. I didn't care at the time – all I wanted was peace and quiet."
"I guess you got it."
Bonnie frowned. "I guess I did."
"And I'm guessing it's not what you thought it would be?"
Not willing to answer that directly, Bonnie stared at her body as it leaned against a bar. Kim too turned her attention to the television. Bonnie's body leaned in for a kiss with a stranger and Bonnie quickly changed the channel.
"The point is – that life is no longer mine, but that doesn't mean I don't want to live."
Kim paused and remembered her own risqué encounter with the brunette. "I don't know if this means anything at all to you, but I'm sorry."
Correctly assuming that Kim was talking about the illicit tryst with her body, Bonnie shrugged. "If I had the chance, I would sleep with me, too."
"If you don't watch television, how did you know it happened?"
"You'll maintain a vestige of a connection with your body, no matter how distant you become. I feel faint nigglings of the sensations my body endures." Bonnie turned her gaze to Kim's. "So sometimes I like to check who my body is gallivanting with. If it's interesting enough, I watch."
For some reason, this made Kim feel incredibly self-conscious. "Did you watch us?"
"I should be going." Bonnie stood up abruptly. "If you find yourself lacking good conversation, I live approximately a mile west from here. My home is the only one that looks lived in."
"Do you know where I can find that green skinned woman?"
Bonnie turned her head. "Who, Shego?"
"Yes."
"She's around." Bonnie responded vaguely. "If I see her, I'll let you know you're looking for her."
"Thanks."
Kim wanted to get up and hug her old rival, but instead she watched the proud brunette exit without so much as a backwards glance. She wondered what Bonnie had meant – how could a shack in this desolate landscape appear lived in? It also puzzled her that Bonnie had maintained a vivacious personality through four years of this world.
She flicked the television back on and instead of watching Bonnie lean into the touch of a stranger, flipped back to her own channel and stared at her body as it rested. James had not left her side, but was dozing. Understanding of the resting bodies outside filled her – it seemed like a pointless exercise to watch a body that would not move. Perhaps a nap would indeed pass the time more efficiently.
x-x-x
"You were looking for me?"
Kim sat bolt upright and tried to calm her rapidly beating heart. It seemed that common courtesies, like knocking and waiting before entering, were in short supply in this place. But when her eyes lighted on Shego's face, Kim let the impropriety go.
"I was."
"What?"
Jarred by Shego's direct attitude, Kim paused for a moment before speaking. Though she originally wanted to inquire about the manual's content, she decided to start on a more pressing inquiry. "I was just wondering about how time passes here?"
"And you couldn't ask Rockwaller?"
"I didn't know that she'd know…"
"So you assumed I would?"
"Well, you're the welcoming committee, right?" Kim stood up and took a few steps in Shego's direction. There was something familiar about the other woman and Kim didn't hesitate to let her gaze rake up and down the woman's body. She certainly didn't look like anyone Kim had met recently. She searched through memories as their conversation continued, but came up empty handed - none of her memories seemed to include a snappy green woman.
If Shego felt any consternation over Kim's interest in her physique, she didn't show it. "It's an informal title."
"Do you know anyways?"
"I do."
"So?"
"So what?"
Kim curled her hands into fists. "Why is it that every person in this damn place is so – unhelpful!"
"Temper-temper, Princess." Shego crossed her arms. "If that's all you planned to do – yell like a child, then I'm leaving."
"Please don't. Why won't you tell me about the time?"
"I don't see why it's important."
"It's important to me." Kim reached out and placed her hand on Shego's forearm. "Bonnie said she's been here four years. Four years of time as it flows here, or four years as it flows in reality?"
"So you've finally accepted that this isn't a dream?"
Although her mind hadn't yet made itself up on that issue, Kim knew she'd have an easier time extracting information if she acquiesced. "Yes."
"She's been here for four years of time as it flows in reality."
"So how much time is that here?"
Shego glanced at the clock. "It's hard to say. Every clock I've seen says something different, and none seem to consistently tick at the same rate from minute to minute."
Kim followed her gaze and sighed. "So it could feel like four years before I go back to my body?"
"It could feel like however long you want it to." Came Shego's grouchy response.
"How long have you been here?"
"Longer than you."
"Have you always been this snippy?"
"Is that all? Can I leave now? Pretty, pretty please?"
The frustration that had been building in Kim finally reached its boiling point. Bonnie she expected to be aggravating, but this strange woman was supposed to help her understand. It wasn't fair that everyone who seemed to know what was going on was withholding information. She lunged forward and swung her fist at Shego's face. Shego ducked back quicker than Kim expected, but Kim responded immediately by whirling a kick in Shego's direction. The thud that resulted made Kim snarl with anger, as instead of waling into Shego's side, her foot had been trapped by Shego's hand.
"Interesting." Shego commented.
Kim couldn't ascertain how Shego felt about being attacked from Shego's bland tone. Perhaps it was because her helplessness in attacking Shego mirrored her helplessness in returning to her body, or perhaps it was because Kim's breaking point had been reached – in either event, Kim jerked her leg free and continued her onslaught. Shego blocked, weaved, ducked, and evaded most of Kim's blows, but one nicked the edge of her chin.
Kim panted. It had been many years since she seriously partook in a fight, as she had left her crime fighting in high school, save for the occasional emergency. But she hadn't thought herself to be this rusty. Come on, she told herself, just land a good hit and call it a day. No matter how hard she tried, however, any hit that she landed was a grazing blow.
Tired of what she assumed was a game to Kim, Shego flared her plasma around her hands and slashed back at the smaller woman. Kim tumbled backwards, afraid of being burned by what looked like green flames. Shego advanced on her and Kim scrambled to her feet, drawing her hands up to protect her face.
"How do you do that?" Although she could feel the beginnings of panic swelling in her bosom, caused by the prowess of the other woman, her insatiable curiosity kept her from attempting another direct attack.
Shego doused the plasma and shot her a sharp look. "I have been here for ten years."
"I feel like I've met you before, but I can't remember..."
"I'm sure we haven't."
"Were you ever a villain?" Kim hazarded. She used to run into many of those when she was younger.
The tactless question brought a frown to Shego's lips. She directed a small plasma blast at Kim and as Kim dodged the blow, she stepped outside and strolled away. Kim waved away the smoke before realizing that she was once again alone.
x-x-x
Shego had no qualms shoving the lugubrious people out of her way as she stalked back towards her home. Most residents had long ago learned to bite their tongues – any sort of complaint was likely to draw out Shego's ire, and nobody wanted a plasma blast to the face. Shego, for her part, liked the power this gave her.
It was exceptionally agreeable to her as she stormed away from Kim's shack. If there was one thing she disliked more than people, it was people who she knew from reality. Granted she hadn't seen Kim but once and their encounter had been brief – she pushed a hapless man out of her way. At the time, Kim couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen.
As Kim was so young, only half her age, Shego hadn't seen fit to engage the young woman. After all, a child shouldn't be taken seriously. Her employer at the time, however, was stupider than most men of his intelligence level. The deranged blue man saw the little girl as a threat, one that had to be eliminated. Part of her blamed the kid's ferocity, but she had spent ten years understanding that if anyone was at fault, other that the idiot who had pressed the self-destruct button, it was herself. She was to blame for her own situation. After all, she had ensured that Kim and the blonde boy that seemed attached to Kim's hip had cleared the blasting radius before taking care of her own needs.
She may have been a villain, but she wasn't heartless.
x-x-x
Ann relieved James and took his spot at Kim's side. It had been just over a day since Kim had been found by Ron still in bed and completely unresponsive. She didn't think she'd ever forget the worry that racked her system when Kim failed to contact her. She had immediately called Ron and asked the young man to check on her daughter. He was the only other one in the city with a key to Kim's apartment. Ann would also never forget the heart-wrenching grief caused by the call from the hospital.
James kissed the crown of her head and departed to look after their remaining children. Taking Kim's hand into her own, Ann tried to ignore the I.V. running into the Kim's arm and up to a bag of clear fluid. This was, Ann thought, a punishment for something. She had never been an overtly religious person, but she found herself turning rapidly to praying for the safety of her only daughter.
"Kim, if you can hear me – I just want you to know that we're here for you. We'll be here when you wake up, too."
From her position in front of the television, Kim winced. Only a day had passed in reality, but she felt as if she'd spent several days in the waiting room. It was wearing on her nerves considerably that she couldn't comfort her parents. At least, she sighed softly, the substitute soul was doing its job. Everybody knew she was alive, even if she couldn't tell them herself.
Unable to take much more, Kim turned the off the television and stretched. If her conflict with Shego had reminded her of nothing else, it was that she should try to maintain a semblance of who she was in reality. This blasted waiting room was an unknown area. When she had first gotten to Go City, she had spent days learning the streets, finding out where the rougher areas were, and getting acclimated. Here, though, she had spent less than an hour wandering around before getting bored and calling it quits. No more, she told herself. She was not going to become complacent so easily.
Bonnie's words echoed in her mind and she found that she quite agreed. Being in the waiting room did not preclude one from living. As much as she wanted to remain on that cot, there were things she could be doing, places she could be exploring. She disliked the adverse affect her surroundings were having on her personality – Kim Possible was not one to nap for hours on end. Kim Possible was a doer.
She squared her shoulders and stepped towards the door. She was going to out there a do something – even if there was nothing to do.
A/N: I noticed that I've been spelling Ann's name wrong and have fixed it in the previous chapter. I really do appreciate the reviews I've received thus far - just know that it spurs me to continue writing. The Doldrums comes from The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. You should read that.