Hey everyone, so after a couple of you saying that you wanted me to carry on, and those who followed this story I figured I should carry it on. I decided to write it in Ana's point of view this time as some of you suggested. Next chapter will be in Christian's point of view. I hope you will enjoy this chapter, tell me what you think of it xx

APOV

I stare out the window of my bedroom, and see... nothing. Everything is blank. The rain is pouring down on the now dark streets of Seattle. Nothing feels the same anymore. My blip... Teddy...

And just like that tears start falling down my face again. I have been crying for what feels like years and really it's been six months. Six months of constant pain and guilt. Every step I take, every where I look I blame myself. It's all my fault, why didn't I listen to Christian and put more protection on our children? I was stupid and now I paid for all this... I have lost him.

'There is hope' that's what everyone is telling me. Kate, Christian, and all the Grey family, everyone. But how can you be sure? You can't. My baby might be somewhere out there in the world all alone, or worse he might not even be in this world anymore. I sob again unable to stop. Teddy... come back.

Nothing gives me comfort anymore. Not even Christian. Things have changed since Teddy... disappeared. My beautiful husband... wants to comfort me, show me how much he still loves me, but I push away. I can't possibly be happy when Ted is not here, with me, safe. I don't recognise our family anymore, everything is so... different. Before we were such a loving family, it seemed like we had it all, and then everything vanished, like it never existed.

I hug myself and rub my arms with my shaky hands, trying to reassure myself, and try to encourage myself to get up, and start living again. But I can't... nothing is working anymore. Phoebe, my beautiful girl... blip two is still here, and she changed too. She became distant, from everyone around her, not letting anyone near her. It hurts so much knowing that a girl that was once happy and confident, is now the complete opposite. She is hurting just as much as everyone else is or even more.

As a mother I should be there for her, telling her that everything is going to be 'okay', set an example. But here I am shaking with sadness and barely having the energy to move a muscle. What kind of mother am I? First I let my Teddy... go. And now I can't even get enough strength to get up and comfort my own daughter. I shake my head with shame, feeling defeated. There is nothing I can possibly do. The only thing I can think of doing is just giving up on life. What is the point? How can I ever be a good mum? After everything that happened... I just don't see any hope for myself. How could I have let this happen?

I put the loose strand of my messy and unwashed hair behind my ear, so it is out of the way. I couldn't care less about my appearance, I just care about finding Teddy. I close my eyes shut and there he is. In my head, in my arms, smiling from ear to ear. My head is bombarded with memories from the past, he's first words, first steps, first girlfriend, leaving to college... My boy was growing up to be such a handsome man, just like his father.

I open my eyes, and everything disappears again. This is like a nightmare that I want to so badly get up from, but I know I can't. This is my reality now, this is my life...

Steady, slow, and very sad melody fills my ears. And I recognise that it's the piano making that peaceful sound. Christian? I get up on my boneless legs and tiptoe into the living room. Once I'm there I come face to face with such a sad view. Phoebe... sitting down and playing the piano. The sad notes go right through me making every hair on my body stand to attention. She is concentrating hard, playing so beautifully just like her father. The song she's playing sounds familiar but I can't seem to put my finger on it.

She doesn't notice me so I start walking towards her. She doesn't stop playing the beautiful melody, there is so much emotion in her face, as if she is playing it for someone. She looks so broken, my blip... Phoebe. What have I done? The song restarts again, quietly at first, getting louder by each note, it finally hits me, halting me in my tracks. This is Teddy's song.

My daughter is playing Teddy's favourite song. No one every understood why it was his favourite song, but we all just accepted it. Tears are threatening to fall down again, as I watch Phoebe cry. She still carries on playing, her slim fingers flying over the keys, so gently, it's like she is not touching them at all. I close my eyes, and let the music take me, I listen to each sound the piano makes carefully, humming the song inside my head.

I want to hold you... in my arms... never let you go.

You are my everything... You have to stay here...

Forever... forever... close to me... in my arms...

''Wow.'' Christian whispers next to my ear. Making me jump. ''Sorry I didn't mean to scare you.'' He whispers again and puts an arm around me.

''I know...'' I take a deep breath in and add. '' She is just as talented as her father.'' I whisper, making him smirk. But it's a sad smirk. We look at each other and it's like we can read each other's thoughts... we both give each other that reassuring smile. To tell one another that we are still here for each other. I need that reassurance, even though I know it won't make me fully happy or bring Ted back. But it makes me feel safe again, and that's a step forward. I give him another smile, a weak smile, the first smile I have ever given him, since the last few months.

The music suddenly stops, and mine and Christian's eyes look towards Phoebe. It breaks my broken heart even further, seeing her with her head in her hands, her body violently shaking from her tears. She is lost in her sea of emotions, she doesn't notice us standing only about ten steps away from her, she just cries and cries.

I can't stand this anymore. I break free from Christian's hold and walk towards my daughter. My naked feet slapping loudly on the wooden tiles bringing her attention to me, and that completely does it for me... completely destroys me. Her grey eyes watering, now too big for her slender face. Her usual sleek brown hair up in a high ponytail, is now cascading down her back in a complete mess. This is all my fault.

I sit down next to her, and stretch my arms wide, inviting her in for a hug. She gives me a sad trembling smile, and rather carefully slips into my chest. Her body instantly becoming tensed as soon as I wrap my arms around her small frame. She is still distant and that is enough to break the barrier that kept my emotions in place... again. I start crying, my tears rolling down my cheeks and landing on her head.

''I'm here... Phoebe.'' I sob.

She sniffs. ''I miss you, mummy.'' Those four simple words sink right into me, making their way to every single nerve ending there is in my body. I tighten my hold on her, to try and tell her that I am here.

How could I not be here for my own daughter? My whole family? What mother makes their own child miss them?

''I'm sorry Phoebe... I am so sorry.'' My tears are like a waterfall now. They are not only representing my pain from losing Ted, but are now combing together with the pain those four words that my daughter just said to me. I kiss the top of her head, my kiss lingers there, for what feels like forever. But I don't move it, I keep it there, I try to comfort my Phoebe. ''I love you baby.'' I whisper right into her ear.

After a couple of minutes she finally says something. ''Love you too mum.'' I run my left hand down her whole back, to try and warm her up, and to try and bring her closer to me then she already is. I love her so much. I need to stay strong for her...