A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Lord Vile, Darquesse, Erskine or Ghastly.

As we bundled the baby into the back seat, making sure his carrier was secure I wondered about the parents we were going to meet. Who, after all, would pick either of us as parents? We both had reputations as being hard, cold and cruel. True, these reputations came from whiny bad guys whom we were kicking around at the time, but still.

I wondered uneasily what, for example, the parents would do if they knew the truth about us. Nobody, unless they were insane or desperate would give a child to Lord Vile. Nobody except perhaps in their worst nightmares could imagine Darquesse with a child. I shivered slightly, hoping Skulduggery wouldn't take it too hard when the real parents changed their minds.

Skulduggery seemed to notice my dark mood. "Nobody is taking him away from us, Valkyrie. The parents agreed to meet with us so they could see him one last time, and, I'm sure, see him with us. You've been doing an excellent job with him, stop worrying."

He rubbed my shoulder reassuringly and even turned on the radio but I was still worried as we pulled up to a brick-faced mansion. I whistled. It wasn't as large as Uncle Gordon's but it had far more opulence. There goes the parents seeking money theory. I mused.

We were met at the door by an elderly woman in a bright blue robe and I blinked. Before I could ask to see the parents, she spoke. "I knew you would follow the dream I sent you, I knew you were the one to watch over my son. Please, come in." She opened the door and we stepped inside, following her to a drawing room of such obvious wealth that I gasped. Every detail was the finest possible. Leather sofas, priceless rugs and art, everything. Even the books on the shelves were rarities.

An elderly man rose to greet us, his own robe a bright red. He supported himself with a staff like she did, the top accented with a glowing gem. I'd heard mortal tales of sorcerers were based on our reality but had never believed it until now. "So Isis was right, you not only came for our son, you tracked us down, wanting to know more about us. Oh, don't looked so surprised, young lady. He is indeed our child. People our age indeed have them from time to time as rare as it is, and babies like our son are often the result."

"The norm." Isis agreed. "Pease dear, help yourself to some tea. You too, young man." She gestured to Skulduggery who lowered his disguise and they both gasped softly.

Skulduggery looked at them and shrugged. "I've been this way for over four centuries. You get used to it." He was obliged then to explain how he became a skeleton and I watched the couple closely. It was rare to meet people who didn't know Skulduggery, at least by reputation. Even rarer still to meet those who had trouble believing he didn't eat or drink.

They would have done some digging, wouldn't they? I reserved my judgment for later. They were friendly, explaining that they were indeed old, thousands of years old. Being from Egypt they had Taken the names of Isis and Osiris. So was it a surprise they were married?

Then they exchanged a look. "You might as well know the real reason we were startled, my dear. We've, well, we've never met a self-made skeleton and weren't aware any other than us two were left." Isis said. She fished a pendant out of her robes and removed it and Osiris did the same. Before us sat two skeletons, calmly contemplating us.

My fears started to melt away, but not completely. Something seemed off. As friendly as they were they weren't telling us something. Isis was about to speak when the truth revealed itself. A baby's cry drifted to us from another room and Skulduggery and I stood automatically.

Osiris smiled. "I've been wondering if she would reveal herself. Well, you might as well meet her as well, I suppose." He left the room after putting his pendant back on and I looked down at the carrier on the sofa between Isis and myself. The baby stirred, seeming to recognize the cry.

"We had twins." Isis said, also putting her pendant back on, tears pricking her eyes. "It must seem cruel, all we have put you through, but there's something you should know. Babies like this, born to parents so old, age extremely slowly, even slower than we have. For every decade that passes they will seem to gain only a year. Most parents- Most parents- They kill them rather than have a burden for that long."

She was crying now and I assured her no such thing would happen. "Nobody is going to hurt your son, ever. I'll watch over him as if he were my own." I would have said more but Osiris returned with a baby in his arms, his fatherly pride clear on his face.

She was dressed in pink pajamas, also embroidered with a skull. Skulduggery had risen and approached them as if he were sleepwalking. He took the baby with infinite care and the question I'd never dared asked was answered. He'd had a daughter, not a son with his first wife. It was clear from the utter adoration on his face that he already treasured the small life in his hands. I looked on, watching him hold her, his gloved finger touching the tiny skull, stroking the sweet face that looked up at him with utter trust. Skulduggery looked up at me helplessly his hollow eye sockets begging me for help.

I handed the baby I'd picked up while Isis was talking to her and went to Skulduggery. "It isn't up to me, Skulduggery. But if her parents say she is also up for adoption-" I left off and looked at Osiris who nodded.

"Yes. The truth of it is, child, we haven't got long to live, a few weeks, months at most. We needed to find a couple who would care for our children, watch over them with love and understanding. We also, and I beg your understanding, have invited some of your friends to lunch with us to see if you are suitable parents. Ah, there's the door now. You'll stay as well, of course."

Isis rose to get the door and I smiled at Osiris. "I'm happy you're checking up on us that shows how much you love them. But, well, haven't you picked out names for them?"

"Yes." He nodded. "But we wouldn't force Egyptian names on Irish parents. Even though I had hoped they'd learn to love the old gods."

"You'd be surprised who loves the gods of Egypt, we know them here in Ireland as well." Skulduggery responded and Osiris grinned.

"Well then, if you must know it was to be Horus or Anubis for our son and Bastet or Hathor for our daughter. But there are so many very wonderful gods and goddesses."

We were going to say more when Erskine and Ghastly walked in, looking amused to be there. Ghastly headed straight for us, looking at the baby nestled in Skulduggery's arms. "May I?" He asked and Skulduggery handed her over.

The transformation of Ghastly seemed almost magical. His face softened, and he cradled the baby securely in one massive arm, touching her tiny face with infinite care. When a skeletal hand grasped his finger he beamed down at her. "I always wanted a baby of my own." He said softly, sighing wistfully before returning her to Skulduggery.

Ghastly looked at me and smiled. "We are here to vouch for you as parental material. And also, of course, to hijack the next few months of your life. We've already informed Isis and Osiris that we have a wedding to plan, among other things, and don't you dare refuse to let me make the wedding clothes, or baby clothes for that matter." He grinned then and held his arms out for a hug.

We'd never spoken the words, but Ghastly was the closest thing I had to a father after giving up my family to protect magic. Even from the first time he'd met me he'd tried to protect me even though I'd been horrid and stared at his scarred face. Now he was smiling and I knew he felt the same way, in fact, he seemed to feel I needed to hear it, which I did. "Sit by your old man at lunch and tell him exactly how you want the dress made?" He offered and I grinned, nodding. Ghastly after all, knew my secret, and I don't mean about being Darquesse. Most of my toughness was an act. Half the time I was terrified out of my mind going into battle but I'd learned to hide it well.

I'd become as much like Skulduggery as possible, to the point where people thought I didn't have feelings, but Ghastly knew better. He knew I loved Skulduggery and he didn't have to ask if I loved the babies as the wee girl was handed over to me gently, Skulduggery taking our son. Yes, our son. This was happening, we were getting babies. I looked down at the tiny girl in my arm pondering the names Osiris had mentioned. Hathor would be lovely of course and bring to mind images of abundance and fertility, but, well, she reminded me more of Bastet. Bastet. I mused.

I was almost fixed on her name when Isis was calling us to lunch. "Bring Bastet, will you, Valkyrie?" Skulduggery asked, already carrying our son. I nodded, finding a large cradle in the dining room, decorated in black and green. So it was settled then as the sacred colors were already there.

Anubis for our son and Bastet for our daughter. The twins settled down and promptly went to sleep leaving us adults to talk over lunch. I was an adult now, wasn't I? Apparently so if the prospect of marrying me off and giving me babies was OK. I talked over the dress with Ghastly, leaving most of the decisions to him, while either Isis or Osiris asked both him and Erskine questions about us.

"What about when they are out on a case? Do they know anyone responsible enough to watch over the babies?" Isis asked worriedly.

"I'll watch them and I won't take no for an answer." Ghastly said. "I don't care if they need me in the middle of the night, I look forward to having babies to look after, if the parents will have me, of course."

I grinned and Skulduggery answered for both of us. "Oh, I suppose. I notice the Grand Mage didn't volunteer." He added amused and Erskine laughed nervously.

"I've only held a baby maybe once in my life and I was sure I'd drop her. I'm always afraid they'll break. I don't know how people don't have nervous breakdowns holding them." Isis and Osiris laughed softly.

Osiris patted Erskine's shoulder then spoke. "I used to be just as bad, young man, and while you should take some care babies are tougher than they look. They hold up just fine strapped to a woman's back all day as she works in the fields or home, though I suppose that would be sexism today, but you kept them high off the ground in Egypt if you were wise to avoid the scorpions and other dangers."

Isis nodded. "It was wonderful to see them swaddled in bright fabrics with a sling made out of bright colors like the mother's dress. Then a baby would be safe and cared for all day, if you could keep him, that is. Sometimes grandmothers, aunties or other women wanted to hold them too. Babies were a sacred treasure, a blessing to be admired. What happened to us women, Valkyrie? We don't have community anymore." She sighed wistfully.

Talk went on after lunch back in the drawing room with plenty of coffee and tea. Then Erskine and Ghastly, having both vouched for us had to leave to get back to the Sanctuary. "The things I do to care for my detectives." Erskine groaned dramatically and Ghastly just shook his head following him out the door.

We took our leave soon after, but not without being piled with all sorts of things. There were clothes for both Anubis and Bastet, toys, books to read to them, all the things their parents had wanted to do with them and run out of time for. Osiris also had books for us, usually only in the hands of mages as old as him about the care of baby skeletons. "We need to use the time we have left to prepare to return to our children as what you would call ghosts. We will ourselves be returned to Egypt. If only our children could bathe in the Nile one day-" Osiris trailed off.

"They will." Skulduggery assured him. "We'll raise them to know you and you are more than welcome in our house to be with them. You'll always be their parents, always." Then we were both being hugged and seen to the door.

Now with two carriers and a boot filled with things our vacation seemed complete. But Skulduggery insisted we stay one more night, to see a few more shops. He glanced over at me as he drove. "You haven't bought a single thing yet, Valkyrie. But I spotted a shop you might like a bit better than the others." He sounded amused and I wondered why.

It didn't take long to find out. Babies secured to our backs we entered the shop and I was instantly enchanted. Artifacts and other treasures from the world over were in abundance, and soft music played as candles flickered and sweet incense burned.

I was attracted to two things, though I didn't intend to get anything, so I made sure not to be obvious. There were two statues made out of papier-mâché, but in rather sad condition and therefore far too expensive though the prices were modest.

They were skeletons from the day of the dead celebrations, two women in fancy dresses and I thought they would look wonderful in Bastet's room. You have the statues Isis and Osiris gave you. I reminded myself firmly. And we did indeed have statues for each baby, one of Anubis and one of Bastet.

The second thing that had caught my eyes were strings of colorful carved skull beads. I imagined making jewelry for both children now that I'd doubtless be at home more often. It would give me something to do and if I knotted the strings firmly the babies might like them to look at.

But those seemed pricey too so I nodded to Skulduggery and we left for dinner. Maybe I could print art off the Internet of their namesakes. I certainly didn't expect Skulduggery to spend a fortune on our children or my artistic whims.

We were eating when Skulduggery glanced over at me. "You still haven't picked anything. You didn't see anything? Anything at all?"

"Not really, Skulduggery. Plenty of the things we've seen were beautiful but I think two babies and a husband is more that enough to get in one vacation, don't you?" Skulduggery snorted in amusement but looked thoughtful the rest of dinner. We hadn't had the awkward money discussion yet. I had no idea what Skulduggery had if anything and I knew what he did have he tended to spend only on suits and taking care of me. I worried, seriously worried that over the years he'd drained his bank account catering to my needs. Skulduggery of course would never say a word either way.

But I'd resolved to stay the course. Skulduggery rarely gave me presents, and the trip was present enough as were the children and him. I'd gotten more than I needed and knowing Skulduggery's utter horror of knickknacks and anything else domestic put the shops out of my mind.

Later that night cradled in his arms half asleep something occurred to me and I sat upright looking at Skulduggery. "I'm starting to nest, aren't I?" I asked hearing the shock in my voice and he laughed as he sat up and switched on the light.

"I wondered when you'd notice. What I saw today wasn't the world's most desirable and beautiful young bride-to-be which you are, picking out things for herself, but a mother looking at nesting materials. It's over-powering, isn't it? The need to provide for a baby? I'm very proud of you, Valkyrie, I truly am. You didn't even blink when Erskine demanded we take several month off to get the babies settled and I know you love being on the go as much as I do."

I looked at him, not wanting to ask, but I had to. "How does anyone get used to it? Being a parent, I mean? Suddenly there are these tiny lives that depend on us, and I can't even imagine how some parents could do what Isis described to me. I'd die to protect those two, it just feels, strange. I felt that way for my sister, but now, this, this is different."

Skulduggery gave me a lingering kiss that I happily returned then drew back to look at me. "I told you you'd have your own children some day, and that you had described the feeling perfectly. You never get used to it, Valkyrie. Why do you think you see mortals in their nineties being parental with adults in their sixties? The feelings never go away, ever. Of course a complete decade of the terrible twos may change all that." He said dryly.

I laughed. "I thought of that. Is there anything in the book about that or about skeletons making it to adulthood?"

"There is, but unfortunately it would seem skeletons rarely make it that far. As Isis told you the despicable practice of snuffing them out if far more common. But as you and I have far longer lifespans that even most sorcerers I think we can manage them quite nicely. Now I'm going to step out and make a few calls before the Sanctuary falls apart without us and since you are obviously now wide awake I'll see to getting you some decent coffee. Have a look at the book while I'm gone."

I did, checking on the twins first. They were fast asleep, cuddled together. Everything we needed to know, it seemed was in the book, clearly outlining things. Skeletons did not after all need to eat or drink, but they could with pendants like Osiris and Isis had worn.

They gained what would more or less be a full-body façade from them, this magic also worked into the pendants. Anubis' beads and the ones Bastet currently wore did nothing more than place an image of a normal baby in a mortal's mind. To fool sorcerers as well we'd need other charms.

I knew we'd need to make these for the children or have them made, and perhaps one for Skulduggery as well. I knew he'd love to eat and at least and having something close to flesh would thrill him to no end.

Skulduggery returned as I was reading, hot coffee in hand and clicking something together behind his back. "Guess." He said, handing me the coffee. I closed my eyes and listened, remembering where I'd heard the sound before.

"Oh, Skulduggery, you didn't have to-"

He cut me off, producing several strands of the beads. "Nonsense, Valkyrie. I wanted you to have a memento and besides, the children will need to be able to carry the illusion their parents did, and I'd rather you make the necklaces than someone else."

I set my coffee aside and fingered the beads, truly lovely and carved with wonderful attention to detail. Skulduggery sat beside me, pleased with my acceptance of his gift. "I knew you'd like them, and I wanted you to have them. Also, since you will be the one who will have to learn the enchantment, something else."

He handed over a black onyx skull pendant and I looked at him. "I want what they had, Valkyrie. To be able to eat, to walk in public with you without a cumbersome disguise, which is dreadful in the heat to be truthful. To be able, someday perhaps, to add to our family. Not right away, of course."

I grinned and held Skulduggery tight. "You didn't even have to ask, Skulduggery, of course I'll learn the enchantments. I want you to have what they had too." Then he was kissing me and I was very happy I'd followed up on my dream. Very happy indeed.

There you have it and hope you liked it. To save you from asking, I changed things up a bit. The pendants would give the babies and Skulduggery the closest thing possible to flesh and blood bodies and they'd be able to eat, they would feel warm to the touch, etc. And, as Skul implied with fertility magic worked in they could have offspring.

But it is only a two-shot (for now), of course. Still reviews are more than welcome.