I was freaking tired. Last night – thanks to a beautiful man's tip exactly two weeks ago I had received a pretty marvellous bed if I do say so myself. All king-size and leathery. Yummy. The delivery guy had arrived after I'd returned from my shift at the campus coffee shop, so I'd had exactly four hours to admire the nicest piece of furniture I owned.
Only, last night – the call of the pizza had sentenced me to a full seven hours in my car. So, got back home and look at that! The bed hadn't magically fit itself together. So instead of my comfy night on my new bed I spend another night fighting for the cushions with Leila's insane cat. Kitty. Kitty my ass, that thing had learned its tricks in the dumpsters, I was onto him.
Anyway, onto beautiful guy. Did he call? Fucking no. I didn't really expect it, but it was a kick in my fat ass. I had tried really hard to be alluring 'I mean call me pizza girl?" It was ingenious, but apparently someone didn't see my potential. Whatever, I would use it next time I was out – getting all the cheating bastards, boo-yah. I'd moped around Pascal's for two weeks waiting on him calling – and now I drew the line. I mean why should I practically lick his face while he ignored me? Nope. I didn't even care about those damn beautiful eyes, no. He was a creep, a weirdo who hickeyed the shit out of his girlfriends, and really I wasn't into the hard-core shit so we wouldn't even have got along. It was for the best.
Tonight was my official moving-on-from-sex-god party. I had a 'date'. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Mai Crossar had a d-a-t-e. And it wasn't an asshole! Mai 1 – Life 0. He was a friend of one of my friend's law student's friends, and I'd totally checked out his Facebook profile, and was I in for a treat or what.
So now, here I was rushing around with cheap coffee and an essay that had to be handed in within the next hour, with a full day to myself to find something nice to wear. A full day, I almost didn't know what to do with myself. Well, really I did but that would consist of sweating my water levels out trying to move a mattress, studying until I spewed antibodies in my sleep, before going out in my first date in five months in an 'acceptable' dress. Hell no, I needed to make a good impression. So right now, armed with Leila's Bloomingdales staff discount and forty bucks, I was ready for some serious cheap designer clothes.
I was headed to the university first, totally ready for a pamper day until some idiot bumped right into me and hot hot hot coffee down the white blouse right down, right down. Ouch. Breasts – meet third degree burns.
"You..." I screamed, flashing more than I probably should be in the middle of a street, until I saw who it was. And of course it was him, I would meet, for once looking presentable, and then he spills coffee down me. Go Mai, you go girl.
"I would say but I'm really not," He smirked, glimpsing down my top as I glared at him. He took his sunglasses of slowly and no – he totally knew what he was doing bringing his eyes and intense stare thingy into this. I hated him
"You so owe me a new top," I was pathetic, jeez I was practically drooling already and I'd looked at him for half a second. But god can you blame me? All black leather jacket and aviators. Bastard.
"That top was too girly for you anyway; you're more of a red girl, none of this stupid white." He said, fingering the delicate material as I blushed – god damn red. Who did he think he was anyway? Telling me what colour I suited? If I remembered correctly, I'd worn a 'Goonies Never Say Die" t-shirt the last time I'd seen him which should eliminate all other colours that I suited. Truffle shufflin'.
I rolled my eyes, my hand going to my hip as I looked him over. Why couldn't I be sexy? I mean even right now, with my hand on my hip, pouting, I knew I looked like a five year old girl that's dolly had been stolen. I mean my breasts were literally aching from my coffee and have I ever mentioned that coffee stains and white don't go? Because they definitely don't. But then he leaned forward, and was this working? I am a love guru, next time I go out looking for a man all I need is some chicken fillets and a little bit of original model hip popping. Boo-yah.
And back to the matter at hand, ladies and gentlemen a hot guy – a really hot guy was leaning towards me and it totally looked as if he was gonna kiss me from my perspective which is most definitely why I shut my eyes and dammit I still wasn't good at this thing – I needed a blow up doll I could carry around with my to practice these things with, maybe Leila would buy me one for Christmas. His finger touched my bottom lip and was this really happening in the middle of the street? Weren't these things supposed to happen in the pouring rain or I don't know, on stage at a concert? An Officer and a Gentleman sets the bar way too high.
Wait, I wasn't supposed to like him! He was an ass who told me he would ask for me and didn't – as petty and 90210 as it sounds. Damn him, my heart was fluttering like a bird and would it just slow down for a second? It was making my face beetroot. Think of other thoughts Mai, think of hot lawyer boy you're going out with, think of how he's overall average, whereas this guy, wow. Stop being a silly bitch, stop being a silly bitch, inner power think about dead puppies, that's sad. Dead husky puppies are even sadder, so with this image, side-step into an annoyed New Yorker and avoid those marvellous fingers.
"You really need to work on your chat up lines, Mr Salvatore." I told him, pressing my apparently desirable lips together tightly to stop my stupid giggle escaping. Oh my, I was reverting back to my seventeen year old self and I loved it. If this continued, I'd be writing the next 'You Belong with Me' T-Swift, eat your heart out.
"I told you to call me Damon, pizza-girl." He smirked, and then he licked his lips and I was totally done for. Date-night, date-night, no blue eyed men allowed. I was finding it hard to string a sentence together, and why was this happening to me? Why couldn't it have happened to Leila and she could have punched him for being an ass, and then he would fall in love instantly. This had to happen to me, the push-over of the group.
"What makes you think I want to be on first-name terms with you?" I told him, probably the biggest lie of my life. I wanted to be on more than first-name terms with every lickable part of his body. Move leg forward whilst contracting the other and placing it in front and continue until you are on the other side of New York. I only managed a couple of steps before he was following me as I fumbled in my bag for my jumper. That was green. Green was safe.
"Ooh, someone's a little sensitive. Was it because I didn't call? What if I told you I wasn't in the mood for pizza these last few weeks, but now, now I'm craving it." He purred in my ear and no I'm not doing this. I can't do this, he was wrecking me and I'd seen him twice. If we fucked, he would have my sweet little heart in his hands, and I'm pretty sure he knew it.
"What do you want from me?" I stopped turning to face him, and god why did I do that? He was too distracting, with that stupid smirk playing over his mouth. And then he leaned close again and stroked my face, dammit dammit dammit. That was the worst question ever, so many sexual innuendos rolled into a question mark.
"I want you, sweating, screaming, tonight." He told me, and wow was he forward. This was our second meeting. SECOND. And the first time I was delivering pizza, so really that doesn't count. He probably thought I was the same class as Barbie Skank, but hell no. I hate men. Ignorant assholes who think it's okay just to ask for sex in the middle of a crowded street. My feminism was firmly in place as my hand swiped forward, and damn this was the first time I'd touched him willingly. But I had to say, the smack that echoed made me feel a little satisfied. I ignored the fact that I wanted to kiss his cheek until it didn't hurt anymore.
"Fiesty," He chuckled behind me, as I stormed away and why couldn't someone have been videoing that so I could show it to every man that treated me like a prostitute, including an extended version for all my ex-boyfriends?
"Asshole," I mumbled, walking as fast as I could away from that stupid hot idiot. He blew it; our imaginary relationship was now completely finito.
"Oh come on, don't be like that!" He whined behind me, I swear he was the only man on Earth that could get away with whining with the exception of Orlando Bloom. "I still need to buy you a new shirt," He said sweetly striding beside me in the street. Such beautiful legs, no I needed to stop it. Mai was angry and angry Mai liked nothing.
"I'll send you the dry-cleaning bill." I told him dismissively, and mother of god why were my legs so short, I needed super model legs to speed me over to Bloomingdales where I could hid behind racks of clothes and get away from the beautiful pervert.
"That would include you having to give me your name, and you wouldn't want to do that now would you pizza-girl? I have connections," The impish grin crossing his face totally made me believe that he would arrive at my doorstep one day all ruffled and handsome and I would invite him in and bam – naked. Not a smooth move.
I chewed my lip as I thought it over; I mean would it be that bad to hang about with an insanely handsome man for the day? Even though he only wanted my bootilicious body? And I'd slapped him two minutes earlier for sexual references? And I'd probably jump his bones before the day was over? What the heck.
"Fine, you can buy me a new shirt, but I need to run a few errands first. You can go do whatever, and I'll meet you later if that suits?" Please let him go away for a few minutes at least so I could straightened my mangled head, please god be kind, I'll never eat another cookie again.
"Oh no, I'll stick around, I don't mind." That stupid smirk was still in place and why did it feel as if he'd won this thing?
"Whatever," I muttered continuing to walk. Asshole. He was so damn infuriating, why couldn't he just leave me be? Two weeks ago I would have been dying to have him follow me around like a lost puppy, but then he left me handing and reminded me of every ex I've ever had and that thought kinda made me want to puke. Let the fun begin.
This was killing me. Literally, sexual tension everywhere, he made me want to punch him and kiss him at the same time. Who knew someone so hot could grate on my nerves so much, with stupid sly comments and a general attitude that exuded fucking smugness. I hated it; I hated him I decided ever since he told me he wanted me.
We were on the subway to campus, and he was trying to guess what I was majoring in. He was way off base, apparently I looked like an Events Managements sort of girl, and that thought was laughable. I could wipe the floor with an Events Managements student, anyway I'd let him keep guessing. He really did think I was another easy whore, little did he know he was trying to pick up the friggin' geek, genius, weirdo, whatever.
"Okay, last guess what about Hospitality? Cooking? You look like a good cook." I snorted, taking another sip of the coffee that he'd insisted he refund. My stains were all covered up with my trusty green jumper. My date tonight had green eyes. As I said, safe.
"Wrong again, Salvatore. And just a heads up, I burn ramen noodles." I shook my head, shuddering. That wasn't the worst one, I'd set my microwave on fire once trying to heat up chicken, an easy mistake to make setting it for an hour and 15 minutes instead of a minute and fifteen seconds.
"I give up," He lifted his hands palms towards me as I watched him from the opposite seat. I pretended to inspect my cuticles, and then when I did, holy fuck did I need a manicure? Lawyer guy probably dated girls with nice nails. I had to make a good impression, I would shoot myself in the mouth if I messed up the first decent date I'd had in months.
I didn't feel like explaining, suddenly I was feeling pretty nervous, and it had nothing to do with the hot guy across from me; go team, so instead I handed Damon my essay and let my pretty damn great writing skills speak for themselves. I wasn't one of those people that pretended I wasn't smart; I knew I was good, really good, and top of the class. I didn't brag about it either, when you grew up hearing the shit being beaten out of your mother by your father, you learn to be humble.
The women leaning against the rail beside me had a pretty interesting cardigan on, seriously, I didn't know you get use so many colours of wool and different designs on one cardigan. I should start knitting; I think I'd look pretty cool knitting, especially with a manicure. It took 3 minutes and 42 seconds for Damon to finish the essay, and muhahaha I had impressed him. And then that stupid smirk appeared again and I was momentarily dazzled, before his stupid vulgar comment.
"So I landed a girl who knows the human anatomy?" His tongue flicked out again, and my panties were soaked. I needed to stop this madness, no, I was going to let him buy me a new shirt and then get rid of him and never speak to him again, because I would impress the shit out of green lawyer boy and I wouldn't have to deliver another pizza again because he'd shower me in gifts and love me forever, and then we'd get married and have kids and get a dog and happily ever after, goodnight and goodbye Damon. Plan.
"You didn't land me, Salvatore." I told him scathingly, it sounded so much better saying Salvatore, and anyway if I called him Damon all I could imagine was saying it in less appropriate situations, and that definitely wasn't good. My brain was turning to goo.
We managed to get to the campus and Bloomingdales without much incident; honestly he only hit on two people. And he sort of complimented my essay, which I would take, and gave me another intense look that made me wonder whether I should be flattered or scared. This guy, dammit he was weird.
But there was something about him, as I watched him move through the other ordinary citizens around us, there was something. He carried himself lazily almost, but with a pride and arrogance that puzzled me, until I realised, there was no fear. He had no fear of anything, no nerves, no doubts, anything he did he seemed to think would cause him no harm. Everyone he saw, or spoke to, he scanned, it was brief, but I noticed. I noticed everything about him, pretty pathetic when I'd only seen him twice but he interested me, unlike anyone else. His eyes told of spectacular secrets that dammit I wished he would tell me, but probably never would, and although he was youthful and handsome, he seemed grim at times, as if he knew more than he should. He made me feel like a child, and older than I'd ever been all at once, a seriously weird combination when he belittled me with stupid comments but looked at me with a mixture of respect and curiosity. In basic terms, he confused the fuck out of me, and I hated being confused more than I hated strawberry ice cream.
I was relieved however that he hadn't seemed to pry into my life as much as I expected him to, in fact after I told him I was majoring in Medicine he shut up for a while, which was a relief because it didn't mean I was fighting the urge to kiss him to make his beautiful mouth stop moving. He was probably one of those guys on a need-to-know basis, who shuddered and dumped you as soon as they saw you in the same panties twice. I hated those guys, another reason piling up on the 'I hate Damon' side of my head. The piles were pretty balanced, but god dammit was I searching for bad things so I could perform a mental lock-up and convince myself I hated his ass.
Bloomingdales was pretty busy, I blamed in on summer sales; nasty things that stole money from my purse without my permission and I had to push through a whole lot of women to get to the counter, all of course ogling Damon. Mine for today, bitches.
I had thought that he'd object when I told him we were heading to Bloomingdales, but instead he offered to buy my new blouse from there. A man with money? It was a new and very very interesting development, but he obviously thought I was some stuck up bitch living on my trust fund and mysteriously delivering pizza just for the heck of it.
I found Seth pretty quickly; he was the biggest guy in the store, all big muscles and beach blonde hair. The perfect catch apparently, just one small problem; I didn't have a dick. He caught sight of me, and my hot arm candy and signalled to me that the coast was clear.
"I've been in a lot of shops before, and I'm pretty sure this isn't the usual method of buying a new blouse," He said lowly, smirking at a few ladies old enough to be my mom as I lead him towards the staff door.
"Oh calm down I'm not going to slaughter you." I breathed under my breath, slipping on Leila's lanyard before talking loudly.
"Yes Mr Salvatore I'm sure we can find your order, what was the address on the parcel again?" He shot me a confused look before spouting off his own address as I gave him silent thumbs up and led him through another door and down a flight of stairs. The huddle of employees hardly gave us a second glance, half of the women there did the same as I was doing just now, they knew.
"Oscar-worthy acting pizza-girl, but can I ask why we couldn't just buy a shirt normally?" He smirked as I led him down the dank corridor, you would think with the millions Bloomingdales brought in they could afford to do a little something with the back-rooms.
"Ah! But you haven't discovered the wonder that is new stock that hasn't been counted!" I said excitedly, my hands clasping at the thought of oh so many Louboutins waiting behind a door that only needed one little easily remembered code.
"So, you have a dirty little secret! Bad pizza-girl, cutting Bloomingdales costs for her own gain." The look in his eyes, oh my god. I would be his naughty pizza-girl! I tried to ignore the heat I felt, instead mumbling something about everyone doing it. I needed to be surrounded by nice things before I could look at him again, maybe it would make his eyes less distracting. I entered the code, and every time, it felt as if I was breaking into a bank and it was the moment of glory, I half expected mist and some angelic music.
I didn't feel guilty about lowering the prices, heck it was their own fault for not checking, we had made a flawless scheme, the stock manager made the numbers up whatever the staff took, god bless her soul. I dubbed her the inventor of why I had nice things. And seen as Leila was my best friend, I was entitled to a share seen as I brought her pizza and nice coffee cups whenever I was working.
Just on time, Seth burst through the door gushing already, damn that boy better not make a move on Damon. Mine.
"Mai! I haven't seen you in so long darling!" Quite the obvious gay, huh? I was pulled into a crushing hug as I patted his back awkwardly, if I'm being totally honest here Seth was too loud and exuberant for me, not my scene. Totally Lola's though. I had barely introduced Damon before Seth was all over him like a rash, the Spanish Inquisition was nothing compared to Seth Brandon's get-to-know conversations. I ruffled through the white blouses until I found something similar to what I'd been wearing, and held it above my head, saving Damon from the grilling.
"I found it! That'll be $35," I told him, taking off my sweater and surveying that yep, that shirt was well and truly ruined. He handed me a $50, as I rolled my eyes at him.
"Keep the change." He said smoothly, waggling his eyebrows at me. I watched Seth watch me as I took the note and swiftly handed him $15 change. Nah-uh I wasn't going to be in more than $500 debt to this man. After a few beats of awkward silence where he didn't seem to be leaving, I pointed acting more bitchy than I really should be to such a handsome man.
"That thing's called a door, sometimes when people go elsewhere they walk through them and go away." I was annoyed, I wanted him to go away so I could focus on nice things such as my lovely date and the even more lovely dress I was going to find when he left.
"And miss the strip-show, no thanks. Anyway I figured I could stay and give a second opinion on whatever." He said lounging on one of the desks with that catlike grin on his face. Damn him!
"Seth's giving me a second opinion." I pointed out, before he winked and totally left me in the lurch.
"Actually, my breaks over, gotta dash darling." He blew me a kiss, and sent a cutesy wave to Damon. And then we were alone again and the tension was back, I mean we could totally get down and dirty in here, no-one would even hear us…
"Looks like you need that second opinion now." I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.
"You're very hard to shake, you know that?" I sighed as he chuckled, "Now turn around, if I so much catch you looking at me I will put a Louboutin through your eye." He gave me scouts honour as I hid behind a makeshift sheet unbuttoning my shirt quickly before replacing it with the new one.
"So Mai then?" I smoothed the shirt down, totally not thinking if it would be acceptable if I could spill the new coffee down his top and we could go try and find him a new top…
"Dammit! The whole mysterious acts gone then I guess," I grumbled to myself before I pulled the sheet back and sighing. "Mary-Lily's too much of a mouthful, it sounds like I'm a stuck up bitch." I told him truthfully, flicking through a rack full of cellophane wrapped dresses.
"So you're not a stuck-up bitch, or at least you pretend not to be." He stated as if I was a puzzle he had to put together.
"Work it out yourself, even if I was going 'rogue' do you really think I'd be delivering pizza with an insanely large trust fund in the bank?"
"You never know," He shrugged as I turned round with a mocking stare,
"Let's just say you live on the Upper East Side, I grew up in East Brooklyn." I shook it off blasé style, who cares if rich man knew where I grew up? Not me. Cool as a cucumber. "Now, are you gonna make yourself useful and help me find a dress or what?" Distraction is key. He walked lazily towards me, standing so close beside our shoulders touched. Refrain that shiver, refrain.
"So what sort of dress?" He said fingering a few with his large hands, the things those hands could do, I could only guess. Breathe.
"Classy, I'm going on a date." I told him smugly, I was so good, totally covering my tracks about thinking about him for two weeks.
"So that's code for slutty?" His smirk was electric as I rolled my eyes, this was going to a long long shopping experience.
After a whole lot of taunts, sexual innuendos and five million dresses that I swear he just made me try on to see my cleavage, we came to a conclusion – our first decision made together, a momentous moment in a relationship, we were exchanging rings tomorrow FYI.
I needed help with the zip, but I had to admit I was looking pretty damn good, the dress was the perfect mixture between classy with a little bit of exposed skin which Damon had advised me was the extra every man looked for. I accepted this I mean, had you seen him lately? I figured he knew his women.
"Can you?" I gestured to my back as I stepped out from behind the curtain that was really useless after I'd figured he could see through when he tried to convince me a dress would look better without my bra on, pervert.
I wish I could say after a while I had grown immune to his touch, but it still jilted me and made me feel all warm and gooey inside which was not good when you're chanting the strong woman mantra in your head. He zipped me up quickly and shadowed me to the mirror where he smoothed his hands down my sides. The dress was red, of course and I looked surprisingly flawless
I locked eyes with him through the mirror as I watched him watch me. A shiver passed through me, and I suddenly realised I was out of my depth. What was I doing? I shouldn't be doing this with a stranger, but I was rooted to the spot as one of his hands stayed splayed on my hip while the other reached up to move my hair to one side, leaving my neck exposed. He moved forward until he was pressed against me and his head lingered between my neck and shoulder as I swallowed thickly.
"What are you doing?" I croaked as I looked at him in the mirror. His eyes were fire, bright and burning and I had the strangest sense of fear that gripped me as his breath hit against my neck.
"Distracting myself," He murmured, before moving back so suddenly I flinched. I felt silly now, almost cheap at the way I had let him touch me and stick around all day without thinking. He shrugged into his jacket and headed towards the door. "Enjoy your date, Mai." And then he left, just like that, leaving me all confused and light-headed about what his deal was.