Entry 2—real thing
"Now James I want you to promise you'll take of Lily." Mrs. Potter said to her son.
"Of course mum, I'll protect my Lily."
"I don't need protection!" I said in protest.
"Of course you don't sweetheart." James said kissing my forehead, I could tell he was humoring me. I suppose he did want to protect me, what with happened to my parents.
Ugh, no Lily. No talking about them. I went through the holidays only crying a few times over them, and I intend on keeping it that way. I know my parents would want me to be happy and I'm trying to honor their memory without thinking about them all the time, but its hard. If I think about them, I cant stop thinking about them. So, lately I'm trying to not think about them at all. I know that sounds awful, but its just for a while, until I can handle my grief.
Yes, I know its unhealthy.
Journal, do not do this at home.
Anyway, back to when we were saying goodbye.
Mr. Potter took James to the side, leaving Mrs. Potter and I alone.
"Now Lily, I want to come back this summer, alright? I'm so happy we got to meet! I thought James would never get you…I was so worried about him. I didn't know what we were going to do if you didn't accept him sooner or later. He was just so dead set on getting you. And at such a young age as well, I didn't know what to do. All I heard about for years was the beautiful feisty redhead Lily." She said while bringing me into a tight hug.
"Alright, go ahead and get on the train! See you this summer!"
She turned to Charlotte, hugging her just as tight and—I assumed—giving her advice for the year, and telling her Sirius and her would be fine, just keep trying.
I missed my mum at times like these. Last time I was getting on the train, mum was waving goodbye…Dad never even came. Late as usual, that thought made me smile.
So I'm sitting in the train compartment writing all of this down when all of the sudden James and Sirius jump up looking alarmed and make some lame excuse about needing to go change into their robes.
Charlotte had gone and sat with Alice and Mary again.
Melanie was sprawled out on the opposite booth. Her head rested on Lupin's lap as he gently stroked her hair. They seemed to be in their own little world.
Hold on a moment, there is an owl at our compartment window!
Oh my Merlin.
No fucking way.
Look what the owl brought in! Read it and weep:
I can't seem to get the name Lily Evans out of my mind, any ideas on how to fix this predicament?
-Hayden Cross
The nerve of this ass hole!
I cant believe him! He did say he was not easily discouraged. What nerve! Writing me. Humpf. He has a beautiful owl though, shes golden. I saw that on her leg was a ban that had her name written in Hayden's eloquent scroll. "Aurora"
I wrote quickly on the bottom of the paper:
Well, my advice is to think of my strong boyfriend beating you up.
-Lily Evans
Hopefully that will shut him up.
So I got off the train and was about to get in an carriage to go up to the castle when the two newly-ignited love birds when James jumps into the carriage.
"Gah!"
"Hello Love." He said, and kissed my cheek.
"Where have you been?!" I said, looking at him carefully making sure he was all in one piece.
"I was attempting to get Padfoot to stop his bitchin and moanin."
Remus got swept out of his love scene with Melanie for a moment and looked over at James, "How'd that go?" It was clear he thought that's never happen.
"Well," He chuckled, "Maybe I should rephrase? Stop his bitchin and moanin over my sister."
"And?" I asked, poor Charlotte.
"I think it will work. He finally accepted that he missed her and does really like her."
"Like her?" Melanie said, "I think he more than likes her…"
"Its Sirius, this is a big step."
"True." We all said in unison.
"So whats he going to do about it?" I asked James as he slipped his arm around me.
"We'll find out soon enough."
Charlotte and Sirius sat next to each other at dinner, but left before it was over.
"Where'd they go?" I leaned over and asked James, who was digging into his apple tart.
"All I know is that they better be far away from a bed."
Remus laughed, "You of all people should know Sirius doesn't need a bed for a shag."
James threw a roll at him. "Oy! Shut up!"
The moment Melanie and I got into the dormitories Charlotte came bounces up to us, "Guess what?!"
"What?!" We both said.
"Sirius took me off to the room of requirements and it turned into a beautiful little place with a big fire place and he took me there and sat me down and took my hands in his and started just telling me everything!" She was talking a mile a minute, her hands being thrown in every direction as the story built. He told me how he had liked me for such a long time but he never asked me up because he thought that I'd deserve a better person, someone who could have long relationships, and the fact James would have kicked his ass. But there he was, sitting there telling me how he thinks about me all the time and he cant get me out of his head. He said he just gets so jealous over me that even if someone looks at me with interest he wants to hex them. He said he couldn't imagine not being with me and would do anything for making up how he blew up on the train at me! He said it was completely inappropriate and that I must have felt humiliated and he never wanted to make me feel that again. He gave me all the time in the world to think it over and see if he was good enough for someone as beautiful and special as I was!"
We stared at her dumbly. Sirius fucking Black had said to this a woman?!
She looked at us with the biggest smile, "And I honestly don't think he bull shited the whole thing!"
We busted out laughing. I shook my head, only Charlotte.
I got changed and went to bed, I missed James's manor, I miss being able to be held by James at night. I wish I could see him. I walked over to the bed, both my room mates sound asleep.
I laid my head on the pillow, I loved the beds at Hogwarts, they were just so damn comfortable! I was just drifting off to sleep with I heard an owl pecking at the window.
Go away. Please, please go away.
I thought. I did not want to leave the warmth of my bed…
It didn't go away.
And I didn't want it to wake up my roommates so I got up and as quietly as I could I opened the window and saw Aurora, Hayden's owl, hooting for food.
"I don't have anything for you, go to the owlerly."
She gave a hoot of annoyance and flew off right after I untied the letter tied to her leg.
As you already noticed, Durmstrang men are very built so your boyfriend does not hold much threat.
-Hayden C.
I wrote back hotly, I cant believe he would insult James! My boyfriend is buff thank you very much! Stupid freaking charming Durmstrang.
As you should have noticed, my boyfriend is built as well and apposes a large threat.
-Lily Evans
I knew his owl wouldn't be back tonight so I was just about to lay the paper on my nightstand until later when I could mail it but then I saw the same eloquent hand begin to seep onto the paper.
What the f—?
Yes, but as I've noticed, you keep writing back.
-Hayden
He had written the damn thing on two sided paper! That shit was expensive! It was so cool though, it comes in a pack of 2 sheets, one person would write and it would automatically be written on the other persons' paper. I stared at it, wondering if I should just turn over and go to bed…
That was not meant for you to stop writing me, Lily.
-Hayden
Yeah, that back fired didn't it Hayden?!?
I was writing back in politeness only.
-Lily
So you're saying this is all out of politeness? That you were not attracted to me at all? I don't believe that.
-Hayden
Well believe it.
-Lily
I know I felt attracted to you. I thought we really had a moment.
-Hayden
Sure, if I didn't have a boyfriend.
-Lily
I knew we had a moment, even you wont deny it.
-Hayden
Why are you writing me?
-Lily
Why did you switch subjects?
-Hayden
Why did you answer my question with a question?
-Lily
Why don't you want to admit we are attracted to each other?
-H
I have a boyfriend!
Lily
Why do you keep mentioning him? Its bringing down my mood.
-H
Why cant you remember him and focus on the other girl you're flirting with, I know I'm not the only one getting these letters.
Lily Evans
Aw, Lily Evans, you hurt me. I'm only sending letters to you, love.
Hayden Cross
Do not call me love.
Lily Ella Evans
Ooh, the full name. I like it. It rolls off the tongue. It would be nice to have you under that tongue.
Hayden Ray Cross
You'll never have that pleasure.
Lily
I don't know about that
Hayden
I do. Its. Never. Gonna. Happen.
Lily
I bet I could seduce you
Hayden
I don't want you to
Lily
That's the whole 'seducing' part.
Hayden
You're insufferable
Lily
You like the idea of me seducing you, don't you? I bet you blushed with I said I wanted you under my tongue.
Hayden
You wish. You sound very vain in your notes, you know that right? You only write about how amazing YOU are. It's quite the turn off.
Lily E
What a shame. Because you're such a turn on…
…To my boyfriend.
You really need to stop with that.
I'm sorry but it will never happen. I love my boyfriend.
Alright. Fine. Could we at least be friends?
I don't think that's a good idea.
Too tempting for you?
No!
Well then, what's the problem?
You wouldn't be able to control yourself.
And you called me vain….
I need to go to sleep.
Then sleep.
Fine.
So since we're friends I'm going to start sending you letters, are you ok with that?
Fine.
I knew you were attracted to me.
Ass hole.
Goodnight.
Fuck. Is my life ever uncomplicated?
And the plot thickens!
Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you liked this chapter, do you like Hayden?
Love,
Jenna