Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, all rights belong to Emmerdale

Aaron paced up and down the hospital corridor for what seemed to be hours. In reality it was just twenty minutes since he'd been asked to leave Jackson's room by the physiotherapist.

Jackson had felt his hand, it was real, he hadn't just imagined it, had he?

He had been waiting for something like this ever since Jackson's diagnosis. Even with all the worst case scenarios the doctors had put forward, Aaron, despite his nature, never gave up hope that Jackson would be alright. More than alright, he wanted him back just the way he was that night.

Countless 'if onlys' had plagued Aaron's mind for months, if only he hadn't left the club, got out of the van, rang Jackson's phone. But deep down he knew the only one that really mattered, that really would have prevented everything that followed, was if he'd only had the courage to tell him how he really felt.

Even after the threat of almost losing Jackson, Aaron still struggled with those three loaded words. They'd never left his lips before and perhaps he felt the release would shatter his fortress, taking down with it all the walls of protection he had built in his short life.

When his barrier could no longer contain them, his worst fears had been confirmed- Jackson had rejected him.

FLASHBACK

Aaron: 'Because I love ya you stupid git'

Jackson: 'It's too late Aaron, I don't want this anymore, it's too hard. Please just go'

He hadn't said another word, just looked into the face of the man whose love he thought he truly possessed.

But yet again he'd been wrong. Jackson never really loved him either, he'd gotten fed up with him and tossed him aside, like his mam and dad did and like-he always assumed-Paddy would too eventually.

When his next visit to the hospital three days later had been blocked by Jackson, Aaron sank back into his comfort zone of self loathing and indifference.

He set about rebuilding his walls, determined not to let Jackson demolish them again. But every brick he tried to construct was quickly pulled down by Paddy.

FLASHBACK

Paddy: 'Listen mate, I really don't think Jackson meant what he said, you have to understand how he's feeling. In his own way he's probably trying to protect you.'

Aaron: 'What's the point, he won't even see me, I knew it Paddy, why did you lot all tell me I was wrong, I knew he blamed me. I knew it was all my fault.'

Paddy: 'No Aaron, I won't let you think that, Jackson loves you, he does, just give him some time. Trust me, he's just hitting out at the people he loves the most. You know, some people do that sometimes'

Paddy's last words came slowly with extra emphasis and a cautious grin as he gauged Aaron's reaction. To his relief his pseudo son got the reference.

Aaron: Alright you've made your point, stop going on like an old woman.'

Paddy: 'So you'll go back to the hospital then?'

Aaron: 'Well no, not until he wants me to, I'm not a muppet Paddy.'

Paddy had rested his argument at that point, satisfied that he'd made progress but tentative of pushing his luck.

Today when Hazel had come to tell him that Jackson was coming home for Christmas, Aaron's initial reaction was one of joy- he wanted to see him and all the other stuff didn't matter anymore.

Hazel, with the help of Jerry and Paddy had scrapped enough cash together to buy a special van to transport Jackson. Aaron had given it the once over when she'd brought it home from Leeds. When he'd offered to return her keys at the garage, she'd asked him to hold onto them.

FLASHBACK

Hazel: Why don't you take them love, go pick him up this evening. I know deep down he wants to see you.'

Aaron: 'Do you? Cos the last time I tried I had the door slammed in my face.'

Hazel: 'Aaron I never have nor never will blame you for what happened to my son. But I do think you owe him from before. He stood by you and gave you a second chance after the court case. Sure he's said some stupid hurtful stuff but you've said plenty yourself. So take that hideously overpriced van to the hospital and go get our boy. Oh just do me a favour though, tell him you asked to go instead of me. Just incase it doesn't go too well, I don't want him giving me the evil eye over the brussell sprouts.'

Hazel wasn't an easy woman to argue with so Aaron hadn't bothered. Truth was he wanted to go. He thought if Jackson could just see him again he would want to patch things up.

Now as he waited for news, Aaron's expectations for today had wildly exceeded their original spectrum.

Just as his final fingernail was almost bitten down to the skin, the door opened.

'Aaron do you want to come in,' the therapist smiled as him, raising his hopes of good news.

He followed her in and sat on the chair in front of Jackson, instinctively reaching once again for his lover's hand.

Therapist: 'I've just explained to Jackson that the slight sensation he felt could just be a fleeting occurrence. While it is a good sign, it's no guarantee that movement will return.'

Aaron: 'Right, but he did feel it, didn't ya?

Jackson: 'Yea I did, I still can't move my hand but I felt yours.'

Aaron: 'That's good then isn't it, if we just wait it might all come back.'

Therapist: 'There is a slight chance of regaining some upper body movement yet each spinal injury case is different. We can't know what to expect until if and when it happens unfortunately.

Aaron: ' Right well that's good enough for me, one step at a time.'

'Funny that,' Jackson said with a raise of his eyebrow.

'Shut up', Aaron couldn't contain his smile.

Sensing that the two men wanted to be alone the therapist extended her holiday wishes and left.

Aaron: ' This is amazing, should I ring your mam or Paddy?'

Jackson: 'Just hold on a minute Aaron, it's early days, I don't want you getting peoples hopes up.'

Aaron: 'You'd better not be planning on being a miserable sod all over Christmas.'

Jackson: 'I wouldn't want to steal your thunder, besides you can always just stick me in a corner if I get mardy.'

Aaron: 'That's not funny Jackson.'

Jackson: 'Sorry'

Aaron: 'S'alright'

Jackson: 'No I mean I'm sorry for what I said before, not letting you visit.'

Aaron: Forget it, I guess I owe you a strop now and again.'

Jackson: 'So does that mean I still get my Christmas present?'

Aaron sat forward in his chair and placed both of this hands on Jackson's face. He looked deep into his brown eyes and at last saw the essence of the man he loved. Without saying another word he lay a tender kiss on Jackson's lips. The fire was still there between them, but now, at this moment, it burned a warm comforting glow instead of the raging flame their passion once knew.

Jackson: 'Now I feel bad, I've not gotten you anything.'

Aaron: 'Yea you did…come on lets het you home.'

With that Aaron offered one more kiss, this time on Jackson's hand, sending familiar sensations up through his arm.

A huge thanks to those who reviewed and author alerted, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.