Shiver

An Until Dawn Fanfiction

Synopsis: They'd all survived the night…all except for one. But was he really even worth saving at that point? Sam sure thought so. In the aftermath, Sam reflects upon her perceived connection with Josh, her grief, and her incessant guilt from not being able to save him.

Ending: All Survive, +Josh

Rating: T/M; Cursing, Sensuality, Sexual Innuendo, Gore, Horror

Character Pairings: [Sam, Josh]

A/N: Reviews aside, this is something that I just HAVE to write. I've been super taken by the UD fandom and this simply will not leave my head. Finding it hard to factor in originality in this – it seems to have been done before and well! But this is my own personal imagining of the events after the game. More Sam/Josh flashbacks bleeding into present time. No endpoint in sight. Hope you like it! Maybe let me know if you do – you know how much those lil reviews mean to the writer, right?

CHAPTER 2:

When The Darkness Comes

Josh Missing – Week One

"Sam. Saaaaaam." Sam stirred as the quiet, continual sound of her name awoke her. She groaned, still in that strange state of being half-asleep and half-awake and not really differentiating the two realms. It was hard to pull herself out of her sleep – since she'd been home she'd been so restless that her doctor gave her some Ambien just to get her through those nights. "Samantha, wake up."

"Josh, stop it. I'm trying to sleep," she mumbled groggily into her pillow as the voice began to match a face in her mind. He could never sleep – in fact, Sam was almost certain that most of their friendship consisted of Josh waking her up on a regular basis.

Then she remembered.

Sam jerked herself awake, propping herself up onto her elbow. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and blinked over and over, trying to get her eyes to adjust to the dark.

"Hello?" she said quietly, but there was no response, only silent darkness. "Josh?" she asked, flatly, instantly realizing how crazy she sounded. Of course it wasn't Josh, the searchers hadn't found him yet and given the size of those mines, she was fairly certain they never would. She took in a deep breath, falling back into her pillow – she felt like she was going insane.

"You snore, you know." Sam's eyes popped back open, and she was startled to see Josh sitting at the end of her bed, his same half-smirk that she'd become accustomed to. He seemed to glow in the moonlight.

"Josh!" Sam gasped, jumping up from her blankets to wrap her arms around him tightly. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, and before she knew it, hot tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I was so worried about you!" she cried. She felt as though her heart might burst.

"It's okay," she heard him quietly mutter into her ear. She took in his scent; she couldn't believe he was really here.

"We thought the wendigo got you…" she said in a relieved breath, but then everything became eerily quiet.

Silent.

Josh suddenly felt different… his warm presence dissipated to the point of feeling nearly lifeless in her arms. Slowly, all of the hair on her arms and the back of her neck stood up – something felt… wrong. So, so very wrong. Sam felt Josh's body shudder beneath her, a low, menacing growl rumbling from an indiscernible place. "J-Josh?" she stuttered, afraid to pull away but even more afraid to hold on any longer.

Terrified, Sam loosened her grip, pulling herself away from him ever so slowly. What she saw when she looked at him this time made her mouth run dry. She wanted to scream but nothing would come out. There he was, but it wasn't Josh anymore. His eyes were cloudy, his lips receding to give way to a mouth full of sharp, plentiful teeth. He still had the features that made him identifiable as Josh Washington, but he was half transformed - half wendigo.

Sam slowly began to creep backwards towards the head of her bed, trying not to make a sound as he just stared at her with those dead eyes. He emitted another low, faint snarl.

"J-Josh… don't. It's me," she whispered, her voice losing any volume at the end of her sentence. He stood and he seemed like he was 7 feet tall, towering over the small, frightened girl. "Please," she choked.

Without warning, Josh lunged towards her, his claws drawing up straight towards her neck. Sam turned to brace herself, a scream tearing out from her diaphragm and then…

Nothing. Cold, still silence.

Sam opened her eyes, turning to see an empty room.

Had she imagined it? Had she dreamt it? She had no idea. Her pulse continued to race, her palms sweaty and her face hot. She felt that she was too scared to move, but still, she jumped from her bed. Sam instantly fell to her knees upon the floor to peer under her bed for any sign of him, but he was nowhere to be found.

He was gone.

Sam pressed her face into the carpeting of her old bedroom, her body breaking out into sobs. On one hand, she was still utterly terrified of that hallucination or nightmare or…whatever it was.

On the other hand, her empty heart ached because for just a moment she could still smell him… he was there.

'Get it together, Sam'' she thought to herself, harshly. 'It was only a dream. Get up.'

"I can't," she cried aloud, the pain in her chest pressing down violently upon her. As the tears poured from her eyes, she realized that she'd never cried like this before. This... this was pain. Because of the lack of closure with Hannah and Beth's disappearance, Sam had never truly mourned for her friends but now that she knew what was down there...now that she knew what happened to them... what happened to Josh.

Another cry tore through her as she tried in vain to get the image out of her head – Josh being taken deep into the mines and ripped apart. She couldn't believe something so horrible could happen to someone she cared so deeply for and that there was nothing she could do.

"Sam, get up." This time it was his voice, although she knew he wasn't really there. Still, it seemed to be enough calm her and with a bit of internal strength that she didn't even know she had left, Sam rolled over and weakly got up. She turned, walking over to her vanity and to look in the mirror at her sad, hopeless reflection. She looked like she'd aged years in the short time since the incident at the Washington lodge. Her cuts and bruises were healing, but she knew that internally she had a long recovery to go. She sniffled, picking up a tissue and wiping her nose, her eyes. She cleared her throat and took in a jagged breath, trying to get her heart rate to slow. She was about to turn to walk back to her bed when she glanced down at her phone on her dresser. It was illuminated, as if she'd just gotten a text or call, but the sound had been off. She looked to her alarm clock, the big angry red numbers showing 3:13 am.

She dragged her tired feet to her dresser, picking up her phone and staring at the alert:

One Missed Call – Josh

Sam's hands immediately began to shake, her breathing staggered as she hurriedly tried to call Josh's phone back, only for it to immediately connect straight to his voicemail with no ring.

"Hey, it's Josh. You know what to do." Sam had to admit, hearing his voice for real felt... horrible. Unreal. She timidly pulled up her messages and opened the last one she'd received from Josh only a week and a half ago:

Josh: I understand if you don't but... it would mean a lot to me if you came, Sam. I've missed you. We don't have to talk about it, any of it. We can pretend it never happened just... just come.

She paused, her fingers hovering a bit before she hesitantly before she typed a short message.

Sam: Where are you?

Suddenly, her phone buzzed in her hand, startling her so much that she almost dropped it in her excitement.

One New Voicemail

Late March, 2014 – 7 weeks after the twins' disappearance

Sam jerked in her seat, startled by the loud *dingggg* of her cell phone. She glanced around, a bit embarrassed, as the loud sound rang through the crowded but hushed library.

Josh: You snore, you know...

She avoided a few rude glances and turned off the sound just before another message came through.

Josh: r u avoiding me?

Sam sighed audibly, clicking her cell phone screen to black and setting the phone down on the table in front of her with a thud – she ignored the glare from the irritated guy next to her at the big, oak table. She gazed back down at the opened encyclopedia in front of her, hoping to finally – finally - be able to concentrate enough on her sociology project. School was now becoming a more welcoming distraction since she'd decided to give it a shot and raise her grades before she flunked out of college.

Still, that phone sat in front of her, beckoning her. She pushed it further away, wishing things could just go back to how they were before that night – the night she and Josh had let their feelings for one another spill over onto their friendship.

It wasn't that Sam didn't like Josh like that – he was her best friend's big brother. She'd reckoned she'd had a thing for Josh since she was ten-years-old and the Washington's decided to let their kids enroll into public school. She met Hannah first, of course, and they hit it off over her Lisa Frank pencil box and swapping Capri-suns for Sunny-D at lunch.

But the first night Sam went over for a sleepover at the Washington's was the first time she'd ever met the dark-haired boy. Barely older than the girls, she felt like he might have been the coolest person she'd ever met. He was allowed to watch PG-13 movies and liked listening to bands that her parent's wouldn't.

"Do you have a crush on Josh?" Beth had said teasingly after she had caught Sam peeking over at him frequently during a Saturday night screening of Nightmare on Elm Street – something that none of them had permission to do, but Josh had insisted. First, he made Sam promise that she wouldn't tell. Next, he made her promise that she wouldn't get too scared – both of which she kept.

"Ew!" Hannah gasped, covering her face in mortification. Sam felt her cheeks grow hot as she embarrassedly grabbed her pillow, setting it on her lap and hugging onto it.

"What? No," she said, her voice cracking a bit.

"That's so gross," Beth gagged, she and her sister falling into a fit of laughter.

"Stop! I said I don't, okay?" Sam snapped.

"Good. He's so weird," Hannah giggled. "I mean, we love him. But he's our brother. We have to love him."

And it was never brought up again. Sam made it a point to limit her interactions with Josh – although for some reason deep inside she knew that Hannah and Beth would take no issue with Sam and Josh growing so close in their absence, and she knew that other than typical sibling rivalry aside the girls both thought their brother hung the moon, something about it still felt forbidden.

Josh: Did I do something wrong?

Sam sighed once more, feeling guiltier and guiltier as each day passed by and she gave him such little attention. She hesitantly reached out, picking up her phone in her hand and for some reason it just felt so heavy. Her thumbs hovered over the keyboard, trying to figure out what to say to him.

Sam: of course not… sorry. Just a lot of schoolwork to catch up on.

She was only partially lying – she did have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on – but in this instance she felt like it was necessary to protect his feelings. He was so fragile now, so vulnerable. How did she tell him that she was scared that the night at her dorm was a mistake? How did she tell him that she already lost two friends, she would never want to lose him, too? Because it's one thing when you're friends… things were never going to be the same for Sam and Josh and she knew it.

Josh: oh. I understand. Need any help?

Sam: Thanks, but this is something I have to do on my own.

Josh: Ah. Gotcha.

Sam paused, biting onto her lip nervously. She knew that wasn't the response he was hoping for, but she was truly at a loss.

Josh: You feel very far away.

That's what she was afraid of.

Sam: I'm still here, though. Whenever you need me.

Josh: I need you now.

Sam exhaled, her heart beginning to thump in her chest – she both loved and hated the way it felt. She'd put this off for almost two weeks; it was bound to happen eventually.

Josh: Please. Can I see you?

Sam stared at the words, reading them over and over again. How could she say no? If she wasn't there for him, who else did he have? Josh wasn't exactly on talking terms with most the group and his parents were too busy mourning. In a lot of ways, Sam was all he had.

Sam: Where and when?

Josh: Here. My parent's house. Now.

Josh Missing – Week Two

"C-can't you trace it or-or something? Get a ping on his location?" Sam begged Detective Roland of the Blackwood County Police Department. He held his ear to her cell phone, listening to Josh's garbled message for the fourth time.

"I'm sorry you came out all this way, Miss, but I'm afraid I don't hear what you're talking about. It all just sounds like static to me," he shrugged a bit, handing the phone back to her. She glanced down at her phone, then back at him, her mouth agape. "I don't want to deter you from trying to help, we appreciate all of your cooperation, but-"

"Detective Roland, it was him! I heard him. It was bits and pieces but I heard him call out for me!" Sam insisted, pushing to phone back towards the tall, tired-looking man. "Here, listen again, I-"

"Listen, Samantha. It couldn't have been from Joshua."

"How do you know that?" He sighed deeply, looking back at her pained face reluctantly. She could tell he was holding back, but she wanted to know. "Please, just tell me." He nodded, somberly, leaning forwards and clasping his hands on his desk.

"We found Josh's cell phone and placed it into evidence three days after you all reported him missing…and it was dead. No one would have been able to make a call on it to you." Sam shook her head; she couldn't believe that. It just didn't make any sense.

"Then why did this voice mail come from his number?" Sam challenged, her eyes beginning to fill with hot, frustrated tears.

"Probably just some fluke with the phone. I will see if I can find any answers for you, but I can assure you that phone has been in an evidence room in a box for the last week and a half." Sam nodded, solemnly. He continued to watch her, his face softening. She looked a mess, and he wished he could say something, anything, to give the girl hope but in all his years, especially after failing to retrieve the Washington sisters, situations like this had always been bleak. "I hate that I even have to say this to you, but... don't you be getting any ideas running off into those mines. I can assure you I have my best men down there looking for him. And now the snow is beginning to melt, so it's becoming more and more icy and dangerous. I don't want to plan another search and rescue when it comes to you guys, you hear me?" Sam nodded again, obediently.

"Yes, sir," she quietly responded.

"We'll get to the bottom of this. You have my word."

Late March 2014 – 7 weeks after the twins' disappearance, (cont.)

Sam's old Ford pulled up to the gate of the Washington estate. It was just as grand and towering as the Washington Lodge, but impeccably landscaped. It was dark now, and she couldn't help but hold back an involuntary shudder.

Sam hadn't been to the Washington's since before Hannah and Beth went missing, and even then she'd only been here a handful of times. Just as Sam reached out to press the intercom button, the gate suddenly lurched open with a loud, metallic grind. She placed her hands on the steering wheel, unsure of what tonight had in store for her. She pressed lightly on the gas, slowly creeping up the long, winding driveway.

Sam was going to have to tell Josh why she'd been avoiding him, and she was afraid that he wasn't going to be strong enough to handle the rejection while he was already going through so much. She hated to add on to that strife, but she couldn't keep seeing him like this as her feelings became more and more confusing. She wanted to be a good friend to him, but she was afraid that her new feelings would complicate things.

But were they new feelings?

When Sam actually allowed herself to think about it, she knew that there'd always been a chemistry between them... a connection. But was now the right time to explore that? While they were both so broken and devastated over the events that were still so fresh in their minds?

She pulled up beside his black Jeep, shutting off the engine. She'd taken the long way, hoping that the right words would come to her on the way... and yet all she could think about was that night and how it felt to be wrapped up in him. She tried to shake it away but it was ever-prominent on her mind these days.

Sam got out, walking up to the huge, double doors. The doorstep was glowing with the luminosity of the porch lights, but it still felt so eerily dim to her. She pulled onto the knocker, listening to the loud thud of the iron against the hollow wood of the door. It echoed, and she waited for an answer.

Moments passed and Sam was still outside feeling increasingly uneasy. Josh had said he needed her, had she taken too long? Had something seriously been wrong? She tried the knocker again, then the doorbell. Still – nothing.

She looked down at her phone, no further messages from Josh than the ones she'd read at the library. She put her phone to her ear as she pressed call, the ringing feeling endless with no answer.

"Hey, it's Josh. You know what to do."

For a very short second she'd thought about just getting into her car and leaving, but the part of her that was worried for her friend took over, and without thinking her hand boldly grabbed onto the handle of the door to see if it was unlocked.

It was – of course it was.

Sam pushed the huge door open, peeking her head inside.

"Hello," she called out, nervous that the Washingtons would be caught off guard with her presence. It didn't seem like anyone other than Josh was home, but with a house and garage so huge one could never be totally sure. "Josh?" she hollered with no response. She took in a sharp breath and stepped inside.

The house was sprawling, multiple open rooms stemming off of a huge entryway. She took a few steps in and peered into the living room. Everything was tidy and in its place, only a few lights on here and there to illuminate her way. She swallowed hard, feeling tense as she ventured further into the mansion.

"Josh, where are you?" she asked aloud, her voice echoing off of the walls and traveling throughout the house. "Great," she muttered to herself under her breath. She set down her bag, continuing on. She entered a dining room to find mail strewn about, a checkbook, as though someone had been in there balancing finances. Nothing seemed to be out of place, although she did find herself lingering at a huge family portrait above the fireplace, Hannah and Beth's haunting, frozen smiles reflecting back at her.

In the distance, Sam could hear screaming. She felt her blood run cold, her fear beginning to overtake her.

"Josh?" she yelled out this time. Her instincts told her to leave, as that was the smart thing to do, but suddenly Sam realized that Josh really might be in trouble. She reached down to the fireplace, grabbing a hold of a heavy, metal poker and gripping it tightly in her hands. "Josh if this is a joke it's not funny!"

She began to walk towards the yelling, seeing light pour from a room at the end of the hallway. She continued forward, unsure just how on earth she was finding the courage. She reached forward, pushing the door open.

"Josh," she tried again, her hands fiercely clutching the metal weapon. When the room finally came into full view, she saw what appeared to be an old horror movie on a giant screen. She recognized this room as the media room from the couple times the Washington kids had hosted movie nights, and the volume was deafeningly loud. She peered over at the couch to see that the room appeared to be empty before she felt a hand on her shoulder. Sam screamed, hurling the poker around and nearly swiping a surprised and dripping wet Josh.

"Whoa there, easy!" he yelled out. Sam stomped her foot angrily, dropping the poker to the ground.

"Damnit Josh!" she yelled. She took a breath and stared at him, standing before her in only a towel.

"I'm sorry!" he hollered back over the viscous sounds of a movie victim being sawed in half. He jumped forward, grabbing a hold of the remote and hitting mute. Sam's ears rung from the sudden quiet. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I was in the shower," he explained. Her eyes trailed to his exposed torso, then embarrassedly back to his face.

"You scared the hell out of me," she said through gritted teeth, hauling her fist back and hitting a soft punch to his shoulder. He chuckled a bit, reaching down and picking up fire poker. He examined it in his hand before glancing up at her through a raised eyebrow.

"What were you expecting to do with this?" he teased. She grabbed it, yanking it out of his hands.

"I'm considering still using it to bash your head in," she joked, her heartbeat finally beginning to steady itself.

"Well," Josh said indignantly, crossing the room. "Maybe if you'd have gotten here like two hours ago when I asked, I wouldn't have been in the shower."Once again, Sam's eyes fell to his half-naked body. She'd never seen him like this, save for maybe their senior pool party, but she'd never been this close. Josh noticed her, noticing him, and the corners of his mouth pulled up into a smug smile. "See something you like?" Sam chuckled, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"Could you please put on some clothes, I can't talk to you when you're like this."

"I know. It's distracting how gorgeous I am, huh?"

"Yeah, that's it," she responded with an exaggerated eye roll. Sam then remembered what she needed to talk to him about, and it suddenly seemed so hard. Being around him was too fluid, too easy. She hated the idea of changing that. Josh disappeared into a room adjacent to the theater room for a few moments, and Sam's eyes wandered to the muted movie screen. A stupid teenager being sawed in half by a masked murderer. She scoffed at Josh's awful taste in movies.

"How can you watch this crap?" she wondered aloud.

"What?! This is cinematic gold," he called out to her. The door reopened and Josh walked out in a t-shirt and a worn pair of jeans, zipping up a hoodie as he neared her. "Corn syrup, lighting, music... that's all you need to make the perfect horror movie."

"You're demented," Sam jested, her hand reaching up to ruffle his wet, unruly hair. They stood quietly for a moment, and Sam cleared her throat. "What did you need me here for?" she asked. Josh shrugged.

"I told you, I don't want to be alone," he responded simply, hopping up and over the back of the couch before nestling down onto a cushion. He looked up at her before patting the empty area beside him. Sam folded her arms, shaking her head.

"Seriously? You're unbelievable..." she grumbled before walking around the couch and plopping down next to him. She left a decent amount of space, still uncertain just what his intentions were with her anymore.

"Seriously," he laughed. "My parents are at the lodge... some kind of renovation emergency. I think they are just having a hard time being here. I think they want to be close to... uh..." His words trailed off, but he didn't have to finish.

"Why didn't you go?" she asked. Josh leaned his head on the back of the couch, staring at her though heavy lids.

"Being back at that lodge is literally the last place I want to be," he said, his voice droning and sad once again. Josh's hand reached out for hers. She let him take it. He pressed his palm to hers before interlacing their fingers. Sam took in a sharp breath, unable to deny the electricity when her eyes met his icy ones.

"Josh, about last time...in my dorm-"

"Sam, I know you've been wanting to have this conversation since that night but... could we not?" he plead. Sam opened her mouth to speak, but then nothing came out. She nodded wordlessly. "I like you," he finally said after a moment. "Do you like me, Sam?" She didn't have time to answer before he uttered, "because I think you do. You like me, don't you?" His voice hitched, cracking on the last syllable, his insecurities laid out for her to see. Sam could feel her walls tumbling down.

"I like you," she whispered. Josh leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, and this time she let them linger. He pulled away, his thumb brushing against her cheek briefly.

"Good," he said quietly. "Then let's not worry too much about what this is for now, okay?"

"...Okay," she breathed.

This time, she leaned in first.

To be continued...