Chapter 2

I'm sorry that I didn't upload this chapter earlier. It was partly because I ran a bit low on imagination, and partly because I had some problems finding out what buttons I were supposed to use, in order to upload it. And that's a great thing, that even Fanfiction is becoming bureaucrazy.

Another inspiration I had for my tale was "Answering Service" from Mickey Mouse Works. And for this chapter, I also drew my inspiration from "The Hell on Earth", from the computer game Simon the Sorcerer 2.

I have nothing against old people. (Well, not too much, anyway). However, this is fiction and old people are depicted like this all the time in The Simpsons.

After talking to Patty and Selma, Homer realizes that he has to go to the Burocracy Department in order to get a new driver's license. But since he had lost his license, and the car is anyway broken, he's riding to the place on a tandem cycle. And Lisa is coming along with him, for some reason.

They have been told about the horrors of that department. Not only from Patty and Selma, but also from some other people. And they are prepared to take drastic measures, in case they would encounter trouble when inside the department.

That is, if they could find that damn place.

"According to the map I have, we should turn left after 80 yards."

"And according to the GPS I bought for my car, we should turn right after 50 yards."

After many hours, they finally arrive to the building with the tandem cycle. It was a high-storey building with maybe hundreds of floors. The place seemed very uninviting.

"Now Lisa, all we have to do now is to go inside and get that permit. Easy peasy."

"Yes, but where can we go inside?"

She was asking this because she couldn't see any door on the building. Homer remarked that it was very odd. After a few minutes, in resulted in a strange game, in which the goal was to find the entrance. If you would have been there to watch it, you would have found it very absurd, with them running around the building like giddy geese. Finally, after many minutes they found the entrance. The reason that they couldn't find the door before was that it looked too much like a window and then "blended in into the surroundings".

When they approach the entrance, they notice that the place seems horrifying. The building has an ominous feel on it, and at that time, there was also a dark thundercloud above it.

"Dad, I don't want to go inside. This place is giving me the creeps."

"Oh Lisa, don't let yourself get scared from what Patty and Selma said. This place is perfectly normal."

Suddenly, Otto is running out from the house, on all fours and barking like a dog.

"I don't think that was perfectly normal.

"Hey, this is America. Compared to anything else, that was normal."

Suddenly, it starts to rain from the ground.

"Dad, it's raining upside-down!

"Oh, it's probably just the sewer pipes that are broken."

Homer and Lisa enter the building. They go towards the reception desk, where they find Grampa as the receptionist. He's asleep, so Lisa wakes him up by ringing the service bell.

"WA? Wa? What is it about?"

"Dad? Are you the receptionist? How did you get a job here?"

"Well, due to my senility, I don't remember that part. But I do remember that they keep hiring old people here, for some reason. Although I'm not sure of that either. Well, what did you came for?"

"We came to get a Permit X-13 in this building. Do you know where we can get it?"

"Ah, bureaucracy. This reminds of the time I saw a real communist. It was on the days I was a Texas cowboy. I was on my way to shoot a bear that had plagued the inhabitants of Alaska. I was riding on a monkey-snake to the snow-covered desert. In the middle of that forest was the cave of that bear, and right then he was eating…"

"I don't want to be rude, but I don't think you heard his question. Could you tell your story another time and tell us instead where can we get Permit X-13?"

"Hush, don't interrupt me! Now where was I? Ah yes, he was feasting on a moose, that fiend! I put up my gun. I had purchased that gun four years earlier, when I was going to hunt for a man-eating moose. That was when I was a gold-digger in Yukon, and that moose had just…"

Grampa seems to ignore her, and continues the story.

Finally, Homer screams.

"Permit X-13!"

"Alright, alright. You don't have to yell. I don't know where they keep the permits. Ask the attendant of this building. Corridor 5, last door on the right. Although, if I were you, I wouldn't go there right now. He is often very busy."

They walk to corridor 5, which has no door to the right, but doors everywhere to the left. They stop at the end of the corridor.

"Hey, uh, dad? There's no last door to the right."

"You're right. There's no door to the right."

"Let's try the opposite one instead."

They open the last door the left. Inside, they see a man playing with a radio-controlled car on his desk.

"Vroom, vroom! What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy here?"

"I just want to know, where can we get Permit X-13? I really, really need that permit."

"They should have that permit in window 1. I don't know where it is, but there is a map at the 50th floor."

They exit the room and go to the elevator. However, the push the button for floor 50, nothing happens. When they push any of the other buttons, nothing happens. When they bang the buttons, nothing happens. And when Homer kicks on everything in elevator, absolutely nothing happens.

"What's the point with having an elevator, if it never works?"

Homer and Lisa leave the elevator. Instead, they climb the stairs to the sixth floor. When they get to the 10th floor, they are both very tired (at least Homer). On the 49th floor, they are panting, sweating and out of puff. After the 74th floor or so, they are indeed very tired after the long walk, especially Homer.

"I don't think I can make it much longer. I'll just rest here for a minute. You go on without me."

"No way am I leaving you behind. We're both getting to that map, even if I have to drag you there."

She tries to drag him, but he's too heavy for that. Besides, even Lisa is tired enough after the long walk.

"Okay. I'll rest, too."

After a few floors, Homer is again with Lisa. When they finally get to the map, it looks very complicated and filled with lots of nonsense.

"Hey, I can't find window 1 on this map.

"Oh, but I do. It's amazing what they don't teach in school. We need to go to the ground floor, Corridor 7, first door on the right.

"No! Don't tell me we have to go back to where we started.

"I'm afraid so."

"NOOOO!"

And so, they get down the ground floor. Well, it was certainly easier than climbing up the stairs. Then they finally get to window 1. Homer asks the clerk in the window if they can get the permit now.

"Sorry, you have been misled. You can't get that permit in this window.

"And where can we get it?"

"You'd have to get to window 437. It's on corridor C, floor 100."

Suddenly, everything became quiet. And then, both Homer and Lisa…

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

To be continued...