Someone please review this story.
I need to know what improvements I can do.
How am I supposed to know whether the story appeals to PJO fans?
CHAPTER 1:THE CHALLENGE
The only real challenge I ever faced up till now…well…was now.
A voice started shouting in my head. Raspy and hoarse were not enough to describe it. It said something like-"You were not supposed to be born. You were not a part of the prophecy…"
Great. Now I am not supposed to be born too.
"Shut up and mind your own business." I thought (screamed in my mind) back at the voice.
A face then appeared in the ground below me. "You are going to regret this…"It said.
The ground tugged harder after that.
Suddenly 5 monsters erupted from the earth. A giant monster also stood up, making me look like a small dog. (What do you call it? Yeah, Chihuahua.)
"Move back Beginners!" He shouted at the smaller monsters. They obediently moved back. Then he looked at me and said-"I suppose you are Ethan."
"Yes." I said.
"You were not supposed to be alive…By the way, I am Pallas. The son of Gaea…and your worst nightmare."
Again? Why can't I be alive? "Then lets go one-on-one you big bully!" I shouted. I did not know what possessed me at that time to shout those words.
"As you wish. After all, you should have the freedom to choose how to die." Then the monsters turned back into sand
With this he came roaring to me and tried to punch me, luckily I managed to dodge it. Do not know how it feels like? Imagine a car coming to you with rocket engines.
I landed behind him and since I do not have any weapon on my body, I summoned fire from my hands and blasted all the fire in his face. I was sure he too was fried to a crisp, but he staggered back and said, "Good try, half-blood"
He again came rushing to me and gave me a body slam. I fell to the ground and tried to get up but pain held me pinned to the ground.
He then arrived near me and looked at me. "Goodnight Half blood."(His breath smelt like rotting mice)
I concentrated all my power and delivered a thunderstorm from the heavens.
He screamed and fell down. I dragged myself to the lake nearby and fell in it. I always used to get cured this way. My chest stopped hurting and I stood up, mad with power.
"HEY PALLAS!"I shouted. On the shore, Pallas had risen up and was again running towards me.
I focused my power and sent a Tsunami towards him. He was supposed to be drowned but he again got up. (The tsunami had only caused him a minor damage!)
I thought of running away, but a voice said in my mind-"Stop running Ethan."
I recognized the voice. It was Lupa's. "Why isn't he dying?"
"He is a giant, he can only be killed with the help of a god."
"Can you help me?"
"Ethan…kill him and send him to Tartarus. My pack is right behind the giant."
I looked at the giant. Sure enough, there was a pack of wolves behind the giant.
"Hey Pallas…"I called with my loveliest voice. "Please do not be afraid if you are going to die…"
He looked at me and screamed with rage. He rushed again towards me, again.
I created two giant hands in the water and held him in place.
"AAH!" He screamed again.
"Attack" I thought in my mind. The wolves pounced on their prey and started biting him on every part of his body. The giant screamed again a few more times and then turned into sand.
I then surfed to the shore to make sure that my eyes were not deceiving me. I never thought that such a good monster (You can call him Giant) would receive the same old funeral of turning into sand. I expected something more heroic. The wolves too had disappeared after helping me.
Never did an enemy last for such a long time against me. I started my journey again by road, with the ground tugging me down when the same raspy old voice spoke in my mind-"You killed my son. Remember…you will never last long on earth. I would not let you."
I swam the rest of my journey.
In a few minutes, I reached an area with actual civilization. I popped my head from under water and saw that children my age fight with swords and spears.
My 2 years of journey had come to an end.
Wait for a few days for the next chapter.