I was the girl who grew up in the rough side of town which meant, I was always in fights, and yes I could fight I may be a midget but I have some power…
I got involved in some things I am not too proud of and I made friends with all the wrong people, don't get me wrong I met some pretty amazing people too, but the majority of them were the bad kind.
By the age of five, I had already stolen things from shops and my sister and I went around conning adults out of their money.
I mean who would suspect that a five year old girl and her ten year old sister would be lying when they were found crying by the side of the road because they lost their mum, had no money and were starving.
At one point I managed to get a diamond necklace, from an all too generous lady who was much too wealthy to be in this side of town…
Then when I was eleven my parents finally got us out of there, we moved into the heart of England, where everything was rich and in pristine condition, well most things, my parents didn't and still don't have a lot of money, I mean we were never poor but never wealthy either.
Four days before my Thirteenth birthday, I went back to visit my family.
While visiting I met this guy, Dan, he was a friend of my cousins and he didn't look like a bad guy, turns out my judge of character was not so good back then.
A week after meeting him, he asked me out, I was young and stupid and I didn't care that he lived an hour away or the fact that I left my old life behind me, which should have included him.
Things at first, like all relationships, we're perfect. My father hated the idea of me having a boyfriend, he thought I was too young and too be honest he was right.
I did love him, but it didn't change what happened it didn't make it okay.
They say girls mature faster than boys, this can be extremely true, but in some aspects so wrong, most guys mentally mature faster when it comes to developing, some guys don't but most do.
After the first three months, Dan started to want to do things and experiment a bit, I was hesitant but I was curious too so we did a bit, at first it started with hooking up; but after while he started asking for more, my answer would never it was always no but that didn't stop him from asking.
He used to sleep over a lot because he lived so far away, our parents didn't mind, I mean we were kids nothing should have happened.
After saying no for so many months, I believe was around a year and two months one night when he was sleeping over he forced me to do things, I didn't want too but after pushing me through a window I didn't have much of a choice, I feared for my safety then he stopped when he saw my face.
He promised he'd never do anything like that ever again and being the ignorant and hopeful teenager I was, I believed him.
Then the next night, Saturday the 31st of January, he started asking if we could have sex, just too try it and if we weren't ready we'd stop.
I said no. He begged and begged and begged, I still said no.
He eventually stopped asking and I fell asleep, the next time I saw him, it was around 4 in the morning and he had one hand over my mouth and the other was undressing me.
I was trying to scream but I felt weak, like I wasn't really there that I was just a viewer like in a dream and after while I convinced myself, it's not real it's just a dream.
It wasn't a dream. Turns out he put GHB into my water before bed, I drank it without knowing what was in it and passed out, he must not have put a high enough dosage because he woke me up when he moved me.
It still weakened me to the point where I couldn't scream for help.
Each day I thank whatever it was that gave me the strength to reach for the cash box on my nightstand where I kept all my really private things, I managed to smash him over the head with it and stop him before he did anything.
I was petrified, I called Tom straight away, Tom was my best friend at the time, at this point it was like four thirty and he answered all worried because he knew I wouldn't call at this time unless it was important.
Tom never liked Dan, he was constantly trying to break us up and I'd yell at him and argue but his bad feeling about Dan was right, anyway he answered all worried but all that I could say was "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for calling you so early."
Later that morning I broke things off with him, he was furious but he couldn't do anything because my parents were there so I was safe, I made father take him home with no explanation given and to this day they still don't know why or what happened.
I still have the scars that remind me each day that no matter how far away you move or how much you suppress your memories, it did happen, they were horrible times but it will get better.
The next I had my first day of high school, it was horrible.
I don't think I talked to one person that day, I hated school with a passion, I hated life with a passion.
Dan had scarred me, internally and physically. I felt the need to wear excessive amounts of make-up, just to make myself believe that it covered up my past and who I really was.
I felt dirty and alone, nothing seemed to work, my parents didn't know what was wrong with me; no one did, except Tom.
Tom was my only friend at that point, and even he got sick of me, he told me that unless I'd talk and be social he was going to hang out with other people.
He made sure I was aware that he still cared and that he wanted to hang out with me, but it was boring and I can't blame him, because it was.
For six months, I didn't eat unless mother made me, I didn't go out, I didn't my school work.
I failed nearly all my classes and I only managed to make three friends, they were the best and three years later we're still friends.
Tom and I didn't talk much anymore, he found a new crowd to be with, he even got a girlfriend; she seemed nice.
Nothing seemed to be going right, then one day this guy, Ben, came up to me in lote and started talking to me.
I knew who he was, he was Ben one of the most popular boys in our year level.
I couldn't believe that he was talking to me, so being me I said.
"Can you leave me alone?"
He looked taken back; I don't think many people had ever said that to him before.
"What?" he stuttered as spoke
"Whatever stupid joke you and your friends are trying to pull, I'm not going to fall for it. Just leave me alone, I'm not a fool."
"Well obviously you are, because I want to talk to you. It's not a dare."
I was expecting this reply, but what shocked me was the honesty in his eyes when he said it.
Ben actually wanted to talk to me, me, it didn't make sense at all but I wasn't going to be rude.
So every Lote lesson from then on, Ben would sit next to me and talk.
It was good having him as a friend because he was always talking and as long I looked remotely interested he didn't make me talk, there was no need if he was speaking.
Our teacher didn't care what we did in Lote, so usually he'd set work but most the time I just sat there drawing in my book, one day Ben noticed me drawing and grabbed my book.
"NO! Ben give it back!" it was the most I'd said to anyone in months
"Come on Izzy, just one look."
"No just give it back please." I made a sad face and he gave it back, he must have felt incredibly bad because as he gave me back the book he kissed me, at first I flinched I hadn't had physical contact with anyone since the incident, he thought he did something wrong and began to pull back but then I kissed him back and when we realized everyone in class was staring at us, except for our teacher who was oblivious to everything, we stopped.
We didn't go out, it was just a kiss, but it did get me talking.
I still didn't speak to anyone, except Ben; otherwise I didn't speak unless someone asked me a question, I'd answer to be polite.