TALES OF ROMANCE by Foaly (The novel is the part in italics)
Chapter 2
Author's Second Note: This novel is subject to copyright laws. Offenses include burning a copy of this novel onto a laser disc, reading an unauthorised version of this novel and selling this novel without my permission. Offenders will be fined up to a tonne of gold.
The solar panels slowly dimmed as the time neared for the residents of Haven to sleep. Two elves sat hand in hand on top of the female's apartment watching the city calm down after another busy day. Many people would argue that it was unsafe for someone to sit where they could fall but quite frankly, neither of them cared as one of them was in charge of pretty much everything to do with police work in Haven. The first female captain in recon turned to face her commander, a grin plastered on her face.
"So Trubs," she began, knowing that he wouldn't yell at her for calling him his pet name as she was the most important person to him at that time besides his 'Mummy' and baby brother, Grub. "What sort of mission do you need me to go on tonight? Another kidnapping by a child genius? Another goblin rebellion? Or maybe another megalomaniac pixie on the loose?" she asked in one of her mocking tones. Trouble smiled uncertainly not getting her joke.
"No, actually Holls, I was wondering whether you..."
"I?" prompted Holly,
"er, well,"
"Yes?"
"Well, if you loved me?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly. Holly grinned.
"Of course I..."
"STOP!" bellowed Butler after receiving a tap from his charge. Artemis continued from there.
"Thank you Butler, I am sure that Foaly would enlighten us on why he is writing this, to use a more civilised word: idiotic, romance tale?" Foaly withered on the spot, so much for his fantastic writing skills.
"You don't like it?" he whimpered. Artemis shook his head.
"No I don't like it at all. What did you think you were doing? And where did you get the idea that Holly and Trouble even liked each other?" he sat for a moment pondering the next action.
"Foaly?" he continued. "Can I write the next bit? I am a successful romance author under the pseudonym, Violet Tsablou; do you think that I may be your next ticket for success?"
"OK Mudboy, but be careful, it's my next great creation," Foaly grumbled under his breath.
"Great creation my hat!" exclaimed Artemis, leaning over towards the laptop. Foaly groaned.
"What's that, the next most said sentence above and below ground?" he mumbled. Butler gave him a worried look then turned to read what his employer had written.
"Of course I DON'T YOU FREAK'N IDIOTIC COWPOG!" Holly yelled, putting her Neutrino on its highest setting and pushing the barrel into the astonished elf's chest.
"To The Surface with you!" she shouted and pulled the trigger, watching as her commander's body fell off the building in a graceful arch.
When Artemis had finished typing and added his name to the constantly growing author list he turned back to Foaly, a smirk on his face.
"Much better," he stated walking out the door to talk to Holly. As Butler followed the teenager he could had sworn he heard the disheartened centaur say:
"Why does it always end with them getting hurt, first Artemis pushing Minerva of the cliff, now this," But Butler thought that he must have been dreaming, no one ever thought that Artemis would date Minerva, surely?