The next day, guards and fairy tale creatures and villagers were gathered in the forest. The creatures were being lined up, handed in, and stacked into buses.

"Next!" Xaldin, Captain of Lord Xemnas' Guards, called, as he gave a man twenty silver pieces for a witch.

Roxas, a hunkey, watched in silence. Let me explain what hagons and hunkeys are. They are animals with human heads and animal ears, or they are humans with animal-like qualities. It really just depends on the world. In this one, they had only the human head. Here, they are also abnormally colored. For example, Roxas, instead of white, had gray. Throughout the parody, if a hunimal shows up, I will explain the combination. Like now: a hugon=a human/dragon combination. A hunkey=a human/donkey combination.

Back to the story. Roxas looked around fearfully, fearing death. He watched as Will, Elizabeth, and Cubby Huar (a huar=a human/bear combination) stood in their cages, Cubby complaining about the size of his cage. Will and Elizabeth were huars, but Cubby was fully human, liked to dress up as a bear, and would not be separated from his parents.

"Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again," Roxas begged Maleficent, his owner. "I can change. Please! Give me another chance!"

"Oh, shut up!" she snapped, whacking him on the head, causing him to moan, just before Pinocchio was turned in. And here I thought Gepetto was a good dad…

"Next!" Xaldin hollered. "What have you got?"

Maleficent walked up, taking Roxas with her. "Well, I've got a talking hunkey." Oh, one more thing about hunimals: they can't really talk, and are NORMAL in this land. It's quite ridiculous. Bring 'em to Earth, and watch 'em get shot!

"Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it."

"Oh, go ahead, little fella," Maleficent encouraged, but Roxas just stared up at her.

"Well?" Xaldin asked, skeptical.

"Oh, oh, he's just-He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt-"

"That's it, I've heard enough. Guards!" Xaldin called.

"No! He talks! He does." Maleficent grabbed Roxas' mouth, and put on a fake voice. "I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw."

"Get her out of my sight," Xaldin ordered, ignoring Maleficent's protests. In her struggle, she accidentally kicked Tinkerbell's lamp, which bounced off Roxas' head, covering him with pixie dust, and he immediately started flying. "Hey! I can fly!" he cried.

"He can fly!" cried Peter Pan.

"He can fly!" cried the three little pigs, Fifer, Fiddler, and Practical.

"He can talk!" cried Xaldin. Jeez, lots of crying.

"Ha ha! That's right fool! Now I'm a flying, talking hunkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't ever seen a hunkey fly!" Roxas shouted to him. Then, his pixie dust started to fade away. "Uh-oh." He fell to the ground-hard. Ouch.

"Seize him!" Xaldin hollered, and all the guards ran towards Roxas. He tried to run, they caught him, he wrestled out, and managed to run. He ran into the forest, looking behind himself for the guards, but he ran into-

Sora's ass. Sora glared down at him, and if Roxas had been wearing pants, they would have been wet. But, the guards turned up, and he hid behind Sora. Xaldin and Sora stared at each other, and Xaldin broke the silence by saying, "You there! Ogre!"

"Aye?"

"By the order of Lord Xemnas, I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated…resettlement facility." His voice wavered as he noticed Sora, who, even though he was shorter than him, was pretty frickin' scary.

"Oh, really? You and what army?" Sora asked, giving a creepy smile. Xaldin looked over his shoulder to see that none of his men were around. When Roxas smiled, Xaldin gasped and ran.

Roxas allowed himself a chuckle, then noticed Sora stalking off. "Can I say something to you?" he called, running up to him. "Listen, you was really, really something' back there. Incredible!"

Sora angrily turned around and shouted, "Are you talking to-" he didn't see Roxas. He finished his sentence, "-me?" He turned back around and shouted, "Whoa!"

"Yes, I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you was really great back there? Those guards!" Roxas stayed in front Sora as the ogre tried to get away from him. "They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods." Sora had managed to get around Roxas, but Roxas trotted next to him. "See, that really made me feel good to see that."

"Oh, that's great. Really," Sora said sarcastically.

"Man, it's good to be free," Roxas said happily.

"Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?" Sora ordered, walking off. Roxas stopped. "But, uh, I don't have any friends," he said awkwardly. "And I'm not goin' out there by myself." Suddenly, an idea hit him. "Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you." He ran up to Sora, and onto the ledge next to him. "You're a mean, green, fightin' machine. Together, we'll scare the shit out of anybody that crosses us-"Actually, he didn't say 'shit;' he said spit.'

Sora took a deep breath, then he looked over at Roxas, and roared, which blew Roxas' fur back. "Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause your breath stinks!" he yelled after an annoyed-slash-surprised Sora, who had stalked off. Sora kept walking, and was surprised when Roxas' head hung down (he was standing on a fallen tree), and was still talking. "Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time-" he was interrupted by Sora placing a hand on his mouth, but he still continued to talk, he just wasn't understood. Sora took his hand off-"Then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day."

"Why are you following me?" Sora cried, exasperated. Roxas moved his head out of the way, and Sora walked through.

"I'll tell you why," Roxas said, jumping off. "Cause I'm all alone," he sang. "There's no one here beside me." He walked in front of Sora, who sighed and stared down at him. "My problems have all gone, There's no one to deride me. But you gotta have friends-"

"Stop singing!" Sora shouted, grabbing Roxas' ears and tail. "Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends." He dropped him next to him.

"Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest," Roxas said, still oblivious to the fact that Sora wanted to murder him.

"Listen, little hunkey. Look at me. What am I?" Sora demanded throwing his arms out, like he was showing his mamma how much he loved her.

Roxas looked up, from his feet to his face. "Uh…Really tall?"

"No! I'm an ogre!" Wow, way to point out the obvious. Though, you have to with Roxas. "You know, 'Grab your torch and pitchforks.' Doesn't that bother you?"

Roxas shook his head and said, "Nope."

Sora looked at him like he had five heads. "Really?"

"Really, really."

"Oh." First person to ever say that….

"Man, I like you. What's your name?"

"Uh, Sora," he replied, and then started to walk off.

"Sora?" Roxas asked. Take out the "x" in my name, and you got an anagram! "Well, you know what I like about you, Sora?" He ran to catch up. "You got that I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Sora. You all right." He ran up ahead, and got a good look at Sora's home. "Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that?" he asked, obviously not liking it.

"That would be my home," Sora replied.

"Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful," Roxas said, trying to hide his shame. "You know, you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder." He followed Sora down to the house, and stared at the sign. "I guess you don't entertain much, do you?"

"I like my privacy," Sora called over his shoulder, not stopping.

"You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like, I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You're trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. Then there's that big, awkward silence, you know-" Then he realized just how much of a hypocrite he was when Sora looked at him over his shoulder. He looked down, and then asked, "Can I stay with chou?"

"Uh, what?" Sora asked, confused.

"Can I stay with chou, please?" Roxas asked, putting on an innocent expression.

"Of course!" Sora cried.

"Really?" Roxas perked up.

"No." Sora turned, but Roxas cried, "Please! I don't wanna go back there!" He ran up to Sora and reared up on his hind legs, and slammed him against the door. "You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak." He gave Sora a look over as he was given an odd look. "Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!" he begged-slash-shouted,

"Okay! Okay!" Sora relented. "But one night only."

Roxas ran in as the door was opened, saying, "Ah! Thank you!"

"What are you—No! No!" Sora shouted as Roxas sat in his chair, saying, "This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' many stories, and in the mornin'-" he sat down-I'm makin' waffles." Sora groaned as he made the movement with his hands of strangling Roxas' neck. "Where do, uh, I sleep?"

"Outside!" shouted Sora, pointing.

"Oh," Roxas said, sad, "well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know." He gave a fake sniffle, and said "sadly," "Here I go." He trotted out, "miserable." "Good night." He sat down, and gave a great big sigh. Even through the closed door, Sora could still hear Roxas say, "I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a hunkey. I was born outside." He ignored the rest of Roxas' fake testimony, and settled down for the night. He also ignored the singing.