In which we backtrack to see the arrival.
"I anticipate you will find our paperwork in prime order," the secretary accepted the superhumanly organized forms in silence, inserting them into her computer with listless practice. The plexiglass window shielding her deskspace reflected three faces focused on her computer monitor: one tilted back and angled imperiously with an austere frown in place, one broadcasting agitated impatience, eyebrow arched and mouth twitched to the side, and one coolly eager with exhaling lips who's owner was rubbing his hands together as his gaze raced the scrolling words. Their attention heightened with the flash of a green light and ejection of a door key card.
"Here you go, sirs. You'll want shuttle six, floor three, room number on the key."
There was a small lapse of time in which three individual debates sought to decide the fate of the offered object. By the time the clerk looked up in puzzlement however, warm fingers introduced an equally smooth and intoxicating voice that purred,
"Thank you, madam, I'll take that for you." The blond blinked, a pink tingeing her foundation lathered cheeks in the face of a dazzlingly handsome smile. "Oh, sorry, I got distracted for a moment," she looked down as the unnoticed lingering fingers departed from hers, key card in a strong hand. "I was," the young woman felt her body temperature sky rocket as an impossibly more winning grin spread across the man's features and an arm reached through the small insert hole tilted her face, "star gazing."
She couldn't help but giggle as the man looked from one of her blue eyes to the other, an appreciative grin spreading.
A cough shattered the moment and the secretary looked in alarm to the two attending and forgotten companions. A slightly bored glance and a wide-eyed, painfully blatantly hinting stare sent shivers down her spine, but the flirtatious new renter turned good-naturedly.
"I believe it's time for me to depart," he chuckled intimately and nodded his head towards the cougher (who rolled his eyes), "but I hope we can meet again."
She watched breathlessly as the trio filed out of her office, her conversation partner in the rear leaving a departing wink.
All the years of boring clerical work had finally paid off.
"Fourth elevator- no, second," the most fidgety of the group halted mid-stride, turning back and colliding with his forward moving friends. "Or was it the-"
"Sixth elevator. Third floor." The charmer and panic attack with legs followed the motorized statue to the appropriate shaft.
"I could have sworn it was the eighth," muttered the graying fidgeter as they entered and a confident hand pulled the necessary lever.
Silence grew, two feet anchored boldly past shoulder width, two in the most balance friendly position possible, and a final two rocking up and down to their toes.
A ding opened the lift's doors and the three men followed the solemn dark haired stoic to a plain brown door in a fake wood paint job.
"Are you ready, men?" The flirt gave his companions a sparkling look for dramatic effect before inserting the key card into a slot at waist level. A green light flashed and a computerized voice intoned,
"Welcome misters Kirk, Spock, and McCoy to your new Fleet Fit ™ apartment, number two, 0, 0, five, six, nine." The trio stepped inside and the door slid shut behind them. Three faces roved the space and three connected heads reached the same conclusion: it wasn't much.
"Well," the doctor turned grandly, spreading his arms, "this is home! Better start unpackin'!" He clapped his hands together and looked from Kirk to Spock, a lopsided grin feeding a growing Southern flame of excitement in his eyes, before striding out into the hall and heading for the elevators.
Kirk beamed up at Spock who raised his eyebrows and looked out of the corner of his eyes briefly, weighing the logic in this course of action.
"He has inevitably, forgotten the location of our transportation unit. I will return shortly." Kirk laughed pleasantly as the dull report of boots sounded in the hall, the mirth petering off to the previous satisfied smirk.
"This is home…"
"I never did, though, I said we should park in the pull through strip and move after so all our stuff would be right outside the-"
"Doctor, I could not advise questioning my memory, as such endeavors have proved embarrassing and humbling to you in the past."
"Pssh, well, I- you and your- dammit, Spock, that's completely beside the point," the two followed the ding cue of the elevator, armloads of boxes and dolly loaded to maximum capacity along with them. "What I'm trying to say here, Spock-"
"And are evidently failing to do,"
"is," McCoy continued, letting this pass with a dark scowl, "that I wish the transport unit weren't parked five hundred ding durn light years away."
"The accurate distance is twenty point five seven three meters," Spock corrected impulsively. The strain of the box carting weakened McCoy's usually vicious retort to,
"Good God, Spock, I don't give a raccoon's tail. And would it kill you to look at me when we argue?" They approached their new door, McCoy looking up in exasperation at the unconnected gaze.
"Most certainly not, doctor, and I dare say I have no use for a mammalian support-" the sentence broke off abruptly and a furtive expression prompted McCoy to follow Spock's frown into their open door. His jaw dropped and his boxes plummeted.
"James Tiberius Kirk!!!" The addressed individual looked around to the doorway from a thoroughly stunned maintenance maid sitting on the edge of the entry room table. McCoy stormed into the apartment in a righteous fury, pulling the captain by the arm and shouting, "This is not what they mean by room service! We haven't been in this place for three seconds, and, Spock," he glowered at the motionless Vulcan still on the threshold, "don't you dare tell me it's been twelve point fifty two seconds or I'll skin you alive! Jim, I can't believe you'd do such a-" the affronted housecleaner scampered past Spock as the tirade raged on, leaving not a trace save for a lipstick mark on Kirk's cheek.
As if having been in wait of this alone, the former calmly wheeled the dolly in and clicked the door shut, arranging the boxes in the proper rooms with a background sound of hoarsening verbal abuses. Upon reentering the entry room, he heard the conclusion of McCoy's reprimand.
"House Rule Number One, Jim: no women in the house!"
Kirk bowed his head, temporarily put out.
"And House Rule Number Two," Spock reached between the squabblers and extracted the card key from its discarded place beside the captain, "the key stays with me."