I wish more people would write for this fandom, especially now that the show is over. Also, anyone up to giving me feed back and ideas for this story? Don't want to write if no one is reading.

I'm definitely on the Naudrey side of things, but this is angsty and has a lot of Audrey/Duke friendship because this was a huge part of season three.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

But will my heart be broken

when the the night, meets the

morning sun

She was afraid to look in the mirror; afraid of what she would find. Purple shadows that swallowed the skin around her cornflower eyes, pale skin that made her look unhealthy and sick. Maybe it was the lack of nutrition- or rather, lack of food in general. Maybe it was the stress of helping the troubled, the anxiety and desperation to learn about the Colorado Kid and why she loved him and the Bolt Gun killer and about her and she needed answers to everything. There were so many moments in her life when she wished she was the same Audrey Parker who had first come to Haven. The same Audrey Parker who had an undying passion for the FBI, for fighting criminals and wasn't all too conscious of her obsessive need to find out where she came from. The same Audrey Parker who enjoyed Lobster, couldn't handle tequila and had a secret crush on Justin Timberlake.

But there are moments when she's huddled in her bed, in her comfortable apartment, nestled above her favorite restaurant, and she's glad she came here. Or when she's laid back, a beer in her hand and settled into an Adirondack while laughing with Duke. She'll willingly admit she's intrigued by the nature and history of this town. She'll even admit that there are a handful of people in this town she's not willing to let go.

Her partner, for instance.

Thinking of Nathan made her sigh, her chest aching with longing and loneliness. If she missed anything, it would be her and Nathan's friendship. Easy going banter, often bordering on flirtation. The impromptu plans to get food, no matter what time it was. She'd never admit it, but she missed his protectiveness. She had always been so independent, to the point of being antisocial, and Nathan had gotten past her walls without either of them noticing. They spent all of their shifts together, even made a point to see each other on their days off. He would often have to go out of town for Chief business or meetings and would call before she went to bed, making sure she was alright. He'd never admit it, she'd never mention it, but they were both aware of his separation anxiety; his constant fear that something would take her from him. He always missed her; felt empty when she was gone.

They now spend their days with spared glances, clipped conversations and overall avoiding each other unless contact is necessary, especially after yesterday. She'd finally scrounged up the courage to seek him out; demand answers and maybe even apologize herself. She knew her pushing him away had been the cause of this. She knew he was only trying to help, to save her. But his actions lately, she had convinced herself, had nothing to do with her. He'd turned into a stranger and she was determined to figure out how the hell they had ended up here, and why Jordan had suddenly become the center of his whole world.

Audrey threw his office door open after standing outside for five minutes, trying to revive her courage.

"We need to talk."

Nathan looked up, eyes squinting, brows furrowed. "Yeah, I was just about to come find you."

She held back a smile, welcoming the relief. Maybe this would be easier than she thought.

"We shouldn't be partners anymore," he started slowly, cautiously. "You could work with Stan. Or by yourself, if you'd like."

Audrey felt the relief turn into dread, felt her face fall. Was he serious?

He gauged her stunned reaction. He knew an explanation wouldn't mean anything to her, but he wanted to squelch the guilt and hurt he felt. "With me being Chief and having.. other problems, it doesn't make sense for us to be partners anymore."

Not the only thing that doesn't make sense anymore, she thought wryly. She knew what this was really about; Jordan. So she didn't say a word. She composed her face, clenched her shaking fists and stalked out of his office without a last glance. She didn't go back to her office, instead got into her car and headed straight to the Gull.

"He did what?" Duke cried incredulously. "Audrey, are you playing me right now?"

"No," she sighed, shaking her head as she took a greedy gulp of her merlot. She should feel ashamed for drinking something so potent in the middle of the day, technically while still on duty, but she hurt and welcomed the warmth of the buzz it gave her. "That's what he said, word for word."

"Wow.. I'm sorry Aud. This is so unlike Nathan."

"I need to leave."

Duke chuckled slightly. "That's some pretty strong stuff, you should rest for a few while it wears off-"

"I mean Haven, Duke." She stared pointedly at him, frowning when his face fell.

"Seriously? You- I mean- you really want to leave? Well besides the obvious reasons, I mean this town is a horror story and it's caused so many people so much pain but you help them and-"

She hiccuped, trying to stop the sob from escaping her. "Nathan can help them. He's not immune, so it won't be the same, but he can do it. I have a month left. I need to go, clear my head. I'll come back when it's time for me to disappear, and I'll take the troubles with me. But I'm done causing people pain and I'm done being in pain. I'm done fighting with Nathan and fighting my fate. I don't know exactly how this works, but I know enough. And I know it can't be stopped."

"Is this because of Nathan?" He asked accusingly.

Audrey glared at him. "Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Yeah but, there are people who care about you here. Who love you." He stared at her pointedly. "You're willingly going to leave them?"

She stood up so quickly she almost fell over, the warmth of the wine making her fuzzy. "Don't make me feel guilty. I've spent the past five months trying to help everyone and make sure everyone is safe and happy. Nathan, Claire, hell even you have been demanding that I start taking care of myself for a change. Now you're belittling me for it?" With every word she took a step closer to Duke, feeling her hurt and anger rise to an unbearable point.

Duke's eyes softened. "No, you're right. I'm sorry."

"I can't eat," she whispered weakly. "I can't sleep. I worry about Nathan, knowing he doesn't give a damn about me anymore. I worry about you. I worry about everyone and I can't do this anymore." Her tear filled eyes looked up into his sad brown ones. "I"ll come back to say goodbye. Just promise me, no matter what, that you'll tell the next version of me everything. Show her the pictures of us. Tell her every detail and memory you can think of. Don't let her go through what I did."

He felt his heart ache. "I promise." He regarded her solemnly for a moment. "You know, this isn't the Audrey I used to know. She wouldn't have left. She would've kept fighting."

"I've changed, Duke. We all have."

"Yeah," he replied bitterly.

"I don't know who I am anymore," she replied honestly. "I don't even know who I used to be. I just don't know who I am."

"There are so many things about you that are just simply you." He replied, somewhat desperately. "Parts of you that don't come from Sarah Vernon, or Lucy Ripley or the other Audrey Parker. Yeah, the barn gives you different memories and backgrounds but that's it. You still have the same personality. You're still sassy, caring. You're determined and head strong. Would do anything for the people you love. Hell, you do anything you can to help strangers. No matter your name, memories, or hair color, those things will never change."

Audrey smiled sadly, her heart swelling with gratitude. "You won't forget me?"

Duke smiled ruefully. "Never could."

She nodded and stepped back. "Well, I'm going to go pack. Do you mind if I leave some stuff in the apartment?"

Duke shook his head slightly, his chest tightening. "No. I can't rent it out again. That place will always be yours."

Audrey couldn't contain the tears anymore and she threw her arms around Duke, hugging him tightly while tears streamed down her face. "God, I wish I could remember you. You're such good man. An amazing friend."

She let her arms drop, turning away and walking briskly to the door. She'd always had a soft spot for the smuggler.

Audrey packed lightly. Taking clothes, money she'd saved up, little trinkets, and pictures she couldn't part with. She wrote a letter to her future self, explaining her situation, everything she learned while being Audrey Parker. She described her relationships with all the people she loves -leaving out the bad parts - and put the letter in a box, along with the pictures she had collected over the past five months. She took one last look around her apartment, grief gripping her as she closed the door on the only place she'd ever called home.

The key was tucked safely in her back pocket.

Audrey walked up the stairs of the station, committing every detail of the building and its surroundings to memory. She walked past Nathan's office, him at his desk with his face buried in a case file. She entered her own office- the one they previously shared - and felt a pang in her chest. She collected what little she had and placed it all in an open box. Audrey surveyed the office once more, smiling sadly as she closed the door for what would be the last time. She walked into Nathan's office quickly, feeling fiery with intent.

Audrey set her gun and badge down on his desk and he looked up at her, surprisingly puzzled.

"You were my first friend," she started gently. "I can't thank you enough for all of your help and dedication. I wish things could've been different for us."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Audrey. I didn't mean anything personal about the partner thing. Just trying to be rational."

She smiled sadly and placed her hand over his, lingering for a second before removing it and starting towards the door. "Goodbye, Nathan."

"You're seriously quitting your job over this?" He snapped, anger rising.

"I'm leaving Haven."

The anger left him and he stared at her, alarm and fear taking over. He couldn't breathe. "Parker."

She closed her eyes shortly, thinking back on all of their memories and wishing desperately that she would remember this man. The only person she had ever truly loved. She left his office, picking up the small box with her belongings and exiting the station quickly. She looked back over her shoulder, sparing a glance back, hating the hope she felt. Disappointment filled her quickly.

Nathan didn't follow.

The backseat of her car was filled with a few boxes and bags. She did a once over of everything, making sure she wasn't leaving anything important behind. She looked inside the Gull and grimaced, thinking of all the memories that had been created there. She had everything important that she could take with her. Duke and Nathan, such a huge part of her life, would be left behind, left to slowly forget her.

She knew they never would.

"You're really doing this?" She heard from behind her. Audrey turned, seeing Duke with his arms across his chest.

"I don't know how long I'll last," she admitted. "Not that I have much longer, anyways."

"If that's the case, shouldn't you be spending the remaining time you have left with us?"

She smiled. "We'll see. Maybe a few days is all I need."

"But you won't ask for your job back." It wasn't a question.

"No," she confirmed, shaking her head slowly. "Me and Nathan.. too much has happened. Too much is happening."

"He loves you."

Audrey looked back into her car, avoiding his gaze. "I should head out."

Duke opened his arms and caged her in them and she smiled, appreciating the comfort. As much as Audrey needed and trusted Nathan with absolutely everything, Duke had a way of keeping her grounded. Her heart sped up when she heard the familiar grumble of the bronco roaring down the street and lifted her head from Duke's chest. Nathan flew around the corner, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned ghostly white. He slammed on the brakes and turned his truck off, jumping out and slamming the door. He stalked angrily up to the duo wrapped in each others arms.

Audrey looked up into Duke's eyes. "Give us a minute?"

Duke's brown eyes met Nathan's fiery blue ones, the pair meeting each other with an equal glare. He let her go reluctantly. "Yeah, okay. Find me before you leave."

"So, you and Duke?" Nathan accused angrily as Duke headed inside.

Audrey glared, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's my friend. He's been a hell of a lot better one than you lately."

He flinched violently. "Parker-"

"No," she held up her hand. "No apologies. No explanations."

"What the hell are you mad at me for? I wanted to help you. I wanted to keep you here."

"Seems like the only thing you want now is Jordan." She snapped, too angry to feel embarrassed at her jealous outburst.

"She's helping me get in with the guard, you know that Parker."

"That's what it was at first. I'm not so sure anymore. I don't think you are, either."

She remembered what it had been like when he was with Jess. Audrey hadn't been jealous, not exactly. Nathan had always put her first, even when he was with Jess. But it was different with Jordan. Nathan would cancel their plans, make excuses to leave in the morning and wouldn't come back until the next day. It had seemed innocent enough until the nightmare that was Halloween night, when Audrey had been bleeding and on the verge of death but the only thing Nathan concerned himself with was Jordan. He became unreliable, he broke the law and did strange things. Nathan had become dangerous.

"Audrey. I have to be protective of her. If something happens to her, I won't be in with the guard anymore. I can't find a way to keep you here."

"Nathan I can't stay!" She exclaimed, fighting back tears. "God, I want to. I want so badly to stay with you and Duke and be happy again but I won't do it at the expense of this town. I won't hurt anyone; I won't hurt you."

"It's not going to hurt me if you leave," he promised her. "It will kill me. Being able to feel isn't worth it if you're not here. Life isn't worth living if you're not here."

Her heart froze in her chest. "Nathan, don't."

"I love you, Parker."

Her hands shook. Why did it have to come to this?

"I love you too."

"Where are you headed to?" He asked quietly, gesturing toward her car full of her belongings.

"I can't tell you."

"I have to know you're safe." His voice was so intense he almost growled the words.

Audrey sighed. "Was going to Bangor for a few nights. If it's too much, I'll come back. If I'm strong enough, I'll go back to Boston."

Nathan looked panic stricken. "The meteor storm.." He trailed off somewhat hopefully. Maybe if she wasn't in Haven when it came, she wouldn't have to go.

"I'll come back a few days before. Give myself time to prepare.. and time to say goodbye."

He'd never known agony more than he did in this second. "I'll never let you go."

She walked toward him, wrapped her arms around his waist tightly and pecked his cheek gently before letting go. "I know." She whispered, getting into her car before starting it. He walked to the passenger door, tears pouring freely down his face.

Audrey rolled down the window and smiled. "Thank you for everything."

He nodded.

"Oh, and, Nathan?"

"Hmm?" Was the only response he could get out.

"You can't survive off of Jack Daniels and Patsy Cline forever."

Nathan sighed and dragged a hand down his tired face. Three troubles in one day is more than he can handle. Not even the swill the PD offers was helping. He sighed as he tipped back in his chair, letting his head roll against the back of it. It's been almost four weeks since Audrey left; only five days left until the hunter Meteor storm. They talked on the phone a few times, making sure they were both alive. He'd once called her three times in one night, when the agony and grief was too much to handle and if he cried any harder he wouldn't be able to breathe. Those conversations mostly consisted of her trying to get him to calm down and them sitting in silence, him to embarrassed and ashamed to talk but not strong enough to break their silent connection. She stopped calling and answering as frequently, considering their conversations often went from casual catching up to heart wrenching sobs and begging for her to come back.

There were so many times when she got in her car, ready to drive as fast as she possibly could. Back to Haven, back to Nathan. But she knew it was wrong, had to physically drag herself back into her apartment in downtown Boston. He wasn't the only one suffering.

Nathan mentally shook himself, tried to distract himself as he felt the familiar nausea and thickness in his throat. He couldn't have a meltdown at work; not after the last eight times. His officers are afraid to even look at him. Anything reminds him of Audrey; everything sets him off.

"You look like hell."

His eyes flew open, heart beating out of his chest. He'd know that voice anywhere.

Audrey stood in the doorway of his office, arms crossed over her chest, hip against the door frame. He took in every part of her. Her slender legs, curvy and petite waist. The familiar and adorable smirk on her stunning face. And, god, those eyes.

He wanted to make a remark that she didn't look so good either -but holy hell, she was so beautiful- but he couldn't get a word out. He stood up so fast, the chair he vacated crashed into the wall and he almost tripped over his own feet in his haste to get to her. He needed her in his arms, needed to know this moment was real and if it wasn't, he needed this fantasy to last. Though, once it ended, he wasn't sure how much longer he would.

Nathan's arms slid around her slender waist, pulling her so tightly against him neither of them could breathe.

She only held him tighter.

"Parker," he chocked out. "You're really here."

She nodded, smiling. "I am."

His hands cradled her face, smoothing back her hair. God, he missed her touch.

"Please don't leave again. Ever."

Her smiled faded. "Nathan, you know I only have few days left."

He closed his eyes and fought against the pain. But she was here. All those nights of crying, thrashing and writhing in pain. All those dark thoughts and the possibility that she might disappear without coming back because they don't know how this works. But she's here, in his arms and her skin was impossibly soft and his name on her lips sounded too good to be true.

"I can't let you go, Parker."

"I know."