Song: Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana
I saw you today, Petey.
You looked so sad.
Your pink shirt was all rumpled and you tried not to look at the scars on my wrists.
If you hate them so much why do you cause them?
Your big brown eyes look so scared.
Why are you scared of me, Petey?
You know that my bravado is all a facade.
You know what I am. You can see what I do. You know me better than anyone – but you still shy away from me.
Our hands touch and in the split second our flesh is in contact, the spark of a thousand suns courses through my veins and into yours. You flinch. Your terrified brown eyes gaze into mine and melt into me. I can feel your anxiety. I can smell your fear.
I can taste your terror.
Has it ever occurred to you that in the four years we've known each other, since I was a puny little sixth grader, I've cared about you every single second?
Do you know how I felt when I had to watch you getting beaten?
Do you know how hard it was for me not to run in and beat the shit out of anyone who laid a finger on your gay little pink shirt?
Would you even care?
I doubt it.
To you I'm just a psychopath.
I never denied it.
But I love you, Petey.
You didn't find me. You don't care.
Why?
If I asked you all these questions, would you laugh?
Would I have the balls to do it?
If I came into your room and fucked you like I dream about every night, would you believe me?
Again.
I doubt it.