ooo..

"Then I suggest you control your emotions and keep your mind on the here and now." Qui-Gon stated.

"I will Master I promise, it won't happen again,"

"I want you to write an essay on the folly of speaking without thought of another's peace and quiet." Qui-Gon stated.

"Yes Master, When Master?"

"Here and Now" Qui-Gon pointed to his bedroom "and tidy up your room. I'm going out for awhile, but I'll be back shortly and I will expect both jobs to be finished. I expect you to be here when I return Padawan. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Master" Obi-Wan acknowledged as his Master walked out the door.

"Well I can forget lunch with Bant. I don't know how long he'll be and I can't risk not being here when he returns. I thought for sure he was going to send me packing this time, I just don't understand it, why did he take me as his apprentice in the first place?"

Obi-Wan put all his faults down on paper and apologised for his lack of commitment. He finished the essay in good time and he folded it and placed it on the table so Qui-Gon could see it as soon as he arrived back. He liked writing and he felt he could explain himself better on paper. He'd written several essays over the past three months at his Masters request. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan was perplexed that his Master never discussed them with him. He wondered if Qui-Gon even read them, he was beginning to doubt it.

Lunchtime came and went. Obi-Wan made a sandwich but then he found that he no longer had an appetite. Next, he tidied his bedroom and hung his robe in the closet. He'd done everything he could possibly think of to make his master happy. There was nothing left to do except wait. He thought of studying, but he didn't think he could concentrate. Therefore, he sat on the chair that looked out over Coruscant. The one his master sat at all the time.

"What is so interesting out there Master?" he said gazing out. It puzzled Obi-Wan as there was nothing to see just other buildings and aircraft whizzing past. He sighed and leaned over putting his arms on the window sill……

~*~ memory sequence~*~

He let his mind wander to the first time he'd met Qui-Gon. It was at a Tournament and Qui-Gon was sitting with Master Yoda. Obi-Wan was competing in the junior trials. He was only ten and still had time before he would be chosen.

Master Yoda called him over. "Initiate Kenobi, say hello to Master Jinn. Instructing your class in sabre techniques he will be next term."

"Hello Master Jinn, I look forward to your lessons. What form will you be teaching us?"

"I am a master at Ataru young initiate, it has served me well and I believe you could benefit from the form as well. You seem to be confused about which one you should use. You keep changing forms in mid duel and your footwork needs working on too."

"Thank you Master Jinn, I would appreciate some pointers. I look forward to learning from you." He bowed and walked away. However, he overheard Master Yoda speak to Master Jinn.

"A good apprentice, Obi-Wan will be. Consider him you should when choosing another apprentice, Qui-Gon."

"Master Yoda I have an apprentice and when he is Knighted, I would like to work with him. Xanatos and I are a great team. Besides he is too young."

"Yes-yes, too young he is yet. Speaking of the future I am!" Yoda said as Obi-Wan got out of earshot.

Obi-Wan had Qui-Gon for a teacher for only a few months and then he seemed to disappear. It wasn't until a year later that he saw Qui-Gon sitting on a bench in the garden. He sensed an immense amount of grief pouring from Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan felt very sad and nearly went over to him to see if he could be of assistance to him in any way. But he was stopped by Master Yoda who said

"Your concern for Master Jinn serves you well young one, but now is not the time to disturb him. It is a time for solitude and reflection."

"But Master, I sense he is grieving and I wanted to make him feel better. Is it true his apprentice left him and left the Jedi order?" Obi-Wan asked.

"True it is. hard time it is for Master Jinn. One day in the future my young friend you'll be able to help him, but not today."

Obi-Wan was confused. "I don't understand what you mean Master, 'in the future?"

"How old are you young Obi-Wan?" Yoda asked.

"I'm Eleven, Master."

"Then too young for you too worry about the future. Ask me again when twelve you are," he

said.

"Twelve, that's when I'll be chosen as an apprentice won't it Master?" he puffed out his chest excitedly.

"Yes, young one, you'll be apprenticed to a fine Jedi."

In Obi-Wan's twelfth year, his anxiety levels increased because no one had asked him and yet whenever he saw Qui-Gon, he'd feel the force whispering to him that he was Obi-Wan's chance for Knighthood. A tingling sensation would form in his mind and unknown to him it was a bond forming between him and Qui-Gon. The first sensation had been comforting, but each time he saw Qui-Gon the more it would turn to pain.

Obi-Wan didn't know that Qui-Gon had sensed the bond forming and that he had no intention of being attached to another padawan. Therefore, each time he drew near the boy he would slam up his shields, closing the fledgling connection forming between them.

As the months drew closer to his thirteenth birthday he realised Qui-Gon was his last hope. Nevertheless, that hope turned to despair, when he was rejected and sent to Bandomeer four weeks before his birthday. However, he didn't know that there was a computer error and his date of birth and other details in the computer had been transferred incorrectly. He'd been sent to Bandomeer by mistake. When Yoda and the Council realised the error, they decided to wait just in case Qui-Gon changed his mind and accepted Obi-Wan as his apprentice. If Qui-Gon didn't, they were going to recall Obi-Wan and assign him another Master, they had no intentions of letting Obi-Wan go because they knew he was meant to be a Jedi.

The problem with that was, no one ever told Obi-Wan of the mistake, because Qui-Gon 'had' accepted him so it wasn't deemed important.

Nevertheless, it was important to Obi-Wan's mental well being. If they'd told him he might have had more confidence in his place at the Temple. Obi-Wan was under the impression that the Council had forced Qui-Gon to take him or he took him because he felt sorry for him. Either way it made Obi-Wan believe he was a failure.

Everything seemed all right when they returned to the Temple. Obi-Wan was happy, except when Bruck smirked about Qui-Gon only taking him because he felt sorry for him.

That hurt.

Then Xanatos invaded the Temple with Bruck's help and in the ensuing battle, he was forced to kill Bruck in defence to save Bant and another initiate.

Then they chased Xanatos to Telos where he died and Qui-Gon took his death hard. He wasn't the same when they came back to the temple. He was moody and distant.

~end of memory~

ooo

The sun warmed Obi-Wan and yet sitting there he didn't feel warm, he felt a chill surround him. He yawned; he'd been staring out of the window all afternoon. Qui-Gon hadn't returned and it was time to prepare the evening meal. He pulled ingredients out of the cupboard and a couple of pots. He looked over to the door and said. "What's the use of making a meal, he probably won't eat it. Every time I cook him something, I find it in the bin in the morning."

Obi-Wan didn't want to eat so he put Qui-Gon's in the cooler and went to bed. His thoughts centred around how lonely and lost he felt….

tbc...