Thanks to the reviews I tried to come with others crack. I'm sorry if they aren't funny like the previous one. Enjoy!

Warning: OCCness

Beta by OtakuBroMelody

I don't own Kuroko no Basket

If Kuroko was a girl

"Akashi-kun, I'm pregnant." The phantom said with the usually poker face and deadpanned voice.

Akashi spilled the water he was drinking. "Can you repeat that?"

"I'm pregnant"

Akashi felt the whole world collapsing. He felt like he was run over by a train! How could he, the perfect boyfriend, made such a huge mistake? The phantom would go though the harsh reality of a teen mom! She would bear the malicious gossip from the neighborhood! He had to take responsibility!

"Tetsuya, we will go through this together!"

"Akashi-kun, what date is today?"

"1st of April." Akashi was assaulted by the revelation like a cat catching a mouse.

"Happy April fools, Akashi-kun" Kuroko smiled smugly.

Akashi fell on his knees, relieved, but he felt a bitter taste in his mouth. Maybe Akashi liked the idea to become father a little bit.

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April fool 2 Male version

"Akashi-kun, I'm pregnant." The phantom said with the usually poker face and deadpanned voice.

Akashi, quite calmly, replied. "Males can't be pregnant, Tetsuya."

"It's true." Kuroko insisted.

Akashi pondered why the phantom would lie like this. He saw the date on the calendar.

"You thought you could fool me, Tetsuya? I always win, therefore I'm always right. Come up with a more credible lie."

"It's true" Kuroko kept on.

Akashi ignored the phantom.

Six months after

"Tetsuya, you quite fattened up." Akashi stared at the phantom.

"I'm not fat, I'm pregnant." Kuroko replied.

"Today isn't April fools. How long do you want your lie to last? You are too stubborn."

"Akashi-kun is the stubborn one."

"You should admit that you are just fat, Tetsuya."

Kuroko gave an ignite pass kai to Akashi's stomach.

Nine months after

Akashi phoned the phantom. "Tetsuya, where are you?"

The phantom answered. "Sorry, Akashi-kun. I'm giving birth. Can you call me later?"

Akashi said calmly, but with a tint of anger in his voice. "If you didn't want to come, you should tell so! Don't lie!" Akashi closed the call.

Three weeks later

Kuroko went to Akashi with a little baby boy with red hair. "I'm thinking to name him Seiya. Do you like it?"

Akashi fell on the floor fainted. Kuroko caressed the child's head "Don't grow up an idiot like your daddy, okay?"

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If Kuroko was a vampire slayer

Akashi swings the scissor towards Kagami. Kuroko stopped the smaller red head's arm and put a wooden stake near Akashi's heart by habit.

Akashi was speechless. "Tetsuya, what is the meaning of this?"

"I'm sorry, Akashi-kun. My habits got the better of me. The old vampires want to make me give birth to a new generation of vampires. So I became a vampire slayer out of self-defense."

Kuroko looked at Kagami. "Let's go, Kagami-kun." The Seirin duo left like nothing has happened.

Akashi stared at the GOM dead serious. "We are going to become vampire slayer as well!"

The GOM protested, "Why?"

"Only I can have Tetsuya's virginity! And..."

The GOM followed the red head pace, "And?"

"...I can't allow Tetsuya to fall in love with a sparkly vampire, swearing eternal love!"

Aomine sweat dropping replied, "This isn't Twilight, Akashi."

"You are right, but I'm going to kill all of them just to make sure." Akashi smirked.

The GOM foresaw the doom of the whole vampire race.

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If Kuroko was a exorcist

The demon wickedly laughing threatened. "Try to touch me now I take possession of your precious boyfriend!"

Kuroko with a poker face still on threw holy water toward Akashi's face. The demon yelled from the pain "Don't you care about what will happen to your lover?"

Kuroko cracked his fists "Until you stay inside Akashi's body, you will regenerate him." The phantom started to hit Akashi. Kuroko threatened, "Try to leave Akashi's body and I will send you to a place worse than Hell." The demon was completely frightened.

Kuroko gave punches and kicks. "This is because you always brag to be perfect! This is because you think to be superior, you are too arrogant! This is because you stole my vanilla milkshake..." and the list went on.

Next day after the exorcism

Akashi woke up feeling sore. In the afternoon, the red head went to a date with Kuroko. "I feel like I received a good beating."

Kuroko, with his poker face, replied, "You are imagining it, Akashi-kun." and slumped his vanilla milkshake.

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The GOM were chatting. Kise said, "If Aominecchi was an animal, he would be a panther!"

Aomine replied, "You would be a dog, Kise!"

Murasakibara added, "Mido-chin would be a rabbit, because he is like a carrot"

Midorima got angry and replied, "You are a glutton like a bear!" (Editor's note: he's more like a sloth, though.)

Murasakibara didn't take it as an offense and instead said, "Thank you."

Kise kept the talk, "Akashicchi would be..." the GOM together said, "a lion"

Aomine pondered, "What animal would Tetsu be?"

Akashi smirked smugly, "Tetsuya would be a howler monkey." The GOM looked at him confused.

Akashi explained, "You don't have any idea how much he screams during sex..." Kuroko karate chopped the red head neck. Akashi fainted. The phantom took out a hammer, "I will erase your memory about this conversation."

The GOM slowly withdrew, scared. The phantom smiled "Don't worry; this will only hurt a little bit."