"I don't know if I should trust him."
They were sitting on the exact middle seat of the Whitmore's football field's bleachers. Damon had once confessed that the Mystic Falls football field was the first place he and Stefan felt like brothers since their estrangement even though Stefan only wanted to find out that Damon was back in their hometown for Katherine and Damon had "politely" declined the offer.
Whatever chance there was, Damon had ruined it and the Mystic Falls High football field was just a memory in the Salvatore brothers' conniving, betrayal-filled, s-l-o-w build back to each other; in the end frequenting football fields in the middle of the night had become a Bonnie and Damon thing, but there was a considerable lack of football throwing. She would practice old cheers on occasion and only if she was drunk.
Tonight, there was no drinking. Bonnie had started her day with a knot in her chest and a stone in her stomach. It stuck with her all day until she couldn't take it any longer and called Damon for a field session.
"How many times do you have to crash face first into the ground before you stop jumping off buildings, right?" she wondered aloud.
"You're asking me?" Damon snorted. "I've always asked myself 'how well can one really know their lover?'"
"This isn't about love, Damon."
"Then what is it about?"
"Its about friendship. Its about companionship." She patted his knee. "I know you don't have much experience with that sort of thing."
"Enzo was my friend first!"
"Was being the operative word."
He pouted instead of thinking of a comeback. They sat quietly for a minute.
"Well how well can you know a friend then. Male friend."
A white cloud puffed out when she huffed. "I don't need to know him so much as I need to know I can trust him."
"Well…how did you know you could trust me?"
Bonnie shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't. I just trusted Elena."
"Of course."
"That blind faith was just…"
"Excessive," Damon finished.
"No offense, Elena," Bonnie added.
They giggled conspiratorially together.
"That probably wasn't the best idea," Damon said.
The field echoed with Bonnie's laughter. "It really wasn't. At least not right away," she said.
"Oh, yeah?"
"I mean, it may have taken years to go through you and your…unique personality."
Damon covered his heart with his right hand. "That's the exact word I use to describe it too."
"But now I trust you more than my own mother," she said.
Damon did not look impressed. "That's not saying much."
She couldn't stop herself from smirking playfully, "Exactly."
Damon rolled his eyes and pushed Bonnie away with his elbow. She cackled every time she got back up and he started pushing her again.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" she laughed, grabbing his arm with both hands and keeping it still in her lap. Her head came to rest on his shoulder. She laced their fingers. "I trust you more than Elena."
The steady silence was interrupted by the sound of passing cars and the occasional howling of wolves. Damon kissed the top of Bonnie's head, and then rested his head against her.
"Don't tell her I said that."
"Oh, I will. And there's nothing you can do about it."
She elbowed him deep in the side with a half-hearted laugh. Even though it was a joke, even though she was used to joking about it, every now and again there was an awkward silence. It was a pill her throat couldn't always swallow- not being able to see Elena ever again when Damon could only because she would be dead. It was a strange, muddled tragedy weighing on her, especially tonight.
"Let's get out of here. Its freezing."
They stood up at the same time. Bonnie took one last look at the clouded night sky. She imagined the world without her tiny existence. The sky would remain the same, the leaves would still turn green. The world would move on from Bonnie Bennett. And she knew that was where it all ended- or was supposed to end- but there was an undertone, some secret ingredient to her death that really soured it.
"Hey," Damon said, pulling her out of her sorrowful reverie. He gently squeezed her hand and it tethered her to the moment, burning the memory into her forever. His right hand caressed her face and he leaned in to kiss her cheek, closer to the corner of her mouth. The skin Damon's lips connected with warmed instantly and stayed a hot spot on her face even after the brisk spring air wafted against her.
She held her breath as he pulled away, enamored with how rosy his lips and cheeks were against his pale skin. And his eyes were this incredible blue that smoldered against his thick frame of eyelashes. His gaze fell back onto her lips and maybe it was the existential despair in the air that made her lean in, made her crane her neck so her chin escaped the heat of her scarf, made her kiss Damon straight on the mouth.
He was a light pressure against her mouth. His fingers curled into her hair and he shifted his face to the side, pressing firmer against her mouth and slightly parted his lips. Her mouth fell into place easily.
Her eyes were closed but she still saw stars.
She became stars.
She felt full…held. Safe and rooted instead of barreling out in open space. It didn't last nearly as long as it should have. Somewhere a trash can fell over scaring Bonnie and Damon apart. They stared at each other breathless.
"Oh," Bonnie finally breathed.
She realized what the secret ingredient was.