I woke up the next morning with one flip flop on in some strange bed, and a fake eyelash stuck in my hair. Quickly sitting up straight I reviewed yesterdays events:

1.) I now had pointed ears.

2.) I was apparently married.

3.) I was called both an elf, a witch, and a hobbit(the last of which I had no idea what that was).

4.)Now I had to figure out a way to get home.

Scrambling out of the strangely comfortable mattress, I slowly crept up to the door, pressing my ear to the wood. Not hearing anyone, I turned the knob as quietly as I could and peaked outside before moving out of the room. Crouching low to the ground, I stealthily made my way down the hall.

I really thought I was doing a good job, peeking behind corners and crawling past doors. I was so distracted I didn't see them until I looked up. Five men stared at me from the courtyard they stood in, including the blonde man who claimed to be my husband. Still on all fours in my crouched position, I clumsily stood back up, patting my hair down and swiping dirt off myself.

One man who literally looked like a dirty Santa spoke up. "Good morning Lady Annie."

I put my hands on my hips and glared. "Good morning? You think this is a good morning? I hissed, emphasizing my words. "I'd say this is a bad morning. Unless you'd say kidnapping is a good thing."

He chuckled and gave me an endearing smile. "Lady Annie, this is no kidnapping. In fact, you are as free as ever."

Not having any clue what he meant, I scoffed. "That's exactly what a kidnapper would say. Now let me go home!"

The blonde man stepped towards me, his blue eyes piercing. "You are safe here Annie."

"There is no way in hell I'm just going to stay here and sit." I looked around at all the men in front of me, panicking as I racked my brain for an escape route.

How could I get out of here?

I held my head up and tried to look confident. "I want to leave with my... my husband."

I saw one man open his mouth to speak, but the blonde man stalked towards me. "Absolutely not."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"I am your husband."

"I may be deflowered but I will not be devalued!"

Everyone turned to gawk at me. My 'husband's' mouth was hanging wide open.

"Just because I am married does not mean he can tell me what to do! If I'm as free as you all say I am then I can literally just follow you."

The tall old man with the cheesy looking hat gave me a smile. "I do believe lady Annie is correct. After all, we are letting the hobbits join our journey."

I gave him a huge grin. "See! He agrees with me."

All the 'elves' looked around at each other in some sort of silent communication.

The blonde man was seething and they all huddled in a group and murmured quietly among themselves. A man with long dark hair turned to look at me after giving everyone else a hard stare. "It seems we have found our tenth companion."

I looked over at my so called husband and saw only anger in his blue eyes. I gave him a wink.

I was given only a couple minutes to pack my belongings and offered a small breakfast before I was ushered away. I was able to combine everything into my large camping backpack and another decent sized purse. I wasn't leaving unprepared either. I stuffed every piece of bread I could and stuffed it into my bag.

Of course, I looked ridiculous, and when I shuffled up to the nine other people I was supposed to go on this so called quest with, all they did was stare at me with various looks of concern and curiosity. I shifted slightly and a roll fell out onto the ground. Eyes widening I kicked it away, hoping no one noticed.

No one stopped staring.

Trying to diffuse the tension, I flipped my hair and purse back and went straight up to the group, shaking every one of their hands while they stood in shock, skipping Legolas. "Hi everyone, I'm Annie!"

Everyone didn't seem to know what this type of greeting was and either pulled their hand away from me in shock or let me frantically shake their limp hand.

A tall dark bearded man scoffed. "A woman. I cannot believe it."

I scoffed right back at him. "A man. I just can't believe it."

"How dare you mock-"

Legolas stepped forward and the dark haired man stood silent.

No one said a word, just gave panicked looks between myself and Legolas. I cleared my throat and stood awkwardly until I couldn't take it anymore. "Alright let's get this show on the road!" I started speeding walking as fast as I could away from the group.

"Lady Annie. Mordor is to the left."

I turned the opposite direction and continued walking as if I knew where I was going, setting off towards the great beyond, hoping I would find my way home soon.

Just to be clear, by "setting off", I meant walking... and then some more walking. And the most frustrating part of it all was no one was talking. All anyone did was give not so sly looks between Legolas and I, or gazed at the impossibly small man called Frodo, who apparently was carrying some kind of all-destroying weapon that we were taking to some mountain. Atleast that's what Gandalf briefly described to me anyway.

Legolas stiffly walked in front of me, so I sped walked up next to him and cleared my throat. He gave me a side eye and looked irritated.

Flipping my hair, I tried to appear nonchalant. "So like, how did we meet?"

Still not turning to look at me, he sighed. "You were seventeen and had just run int-"

"You married me when I was seventeen?!"

That got him to look at me. He scowled disapprovingly. "Of course not! That was years later."

"Oh."

We continued walking side by side as he kept scowling. The others kept giving us curious glances back, but kept walking ahead as to give us privacy.

"So how did we even get together? By the reaction everyone gave me when I got here, I doubt it was any better the first time. Aren't princes supposed to marry princesses? How long were we married?"

"Yes. It took many years for you to be accepted. And yes, I was to marry a proper elleth until we met." He paused. "You disappeared the morning after our wedding night." His jaw clenched.

I blushed at the words 'wedding night'. "Oh okay."

He didn't say anything, just returned to looking ahead.

"...how was it?"

He started to violently cough and all but ran forward. I shrugged and kept walking, humming quietly to myself.

We kept walking in silence for what seemed like hours. Honestly I thought a medieval quest would have more excitement, but so far I was just bored and my feet started to hurt.

Finally, we set up camp at some sort of abandoned stone structure. The little men who I found out were called hobbits had began practicing sword fighting with the tall bearded man named Boromir. Sam, one of the other hobbits, was cooking in a small campfire. I smiled and looked around at everyone, so far this was kind of nice.

Of course, Legolas and I were completely avoiding each other and it was beyond awkward. Currently he was looking way too dramatically into the distance. I rolled my eyes. This whole thing was ridiculous and absurd. I wasn't even that scared anymore, just annoyed how in character everyone was trying to be and focused on different ways to get home.

"Crebain from Dundland!" he shouted, before leaping towards me. Everyone was shouting and scrambling to put out the fire and hide belongings. All of a sudden I was grabbed and shoved under a bush. After spitting out my hair that had gotten in my mouth I looked up to see Legolas' face close to mine, and his blonde strands tickling my face. I stared at him, completely oblivious to the black birds squawking above us. He was gorgeous. I hadn't noticed that much before, but now I could see his clear glowing skin and sharp features up close.

The loud mass of birds passed and everyone got up again. I all but shoved Legolas on me, ashamed I was attracted to some crazy man who pretended he was some woodland forest fairy. No matter how firm his chest felt. I huffed and tried to untangle a twig from my hair.

Gandalf staggered to his feet and looked very worried. He gestured towards the distance. "We must take the pass of Caradhras."

Everyone gave each other foreboding looks. I was still very confused and very much worried about how I would get home.

Now I was a small girl from Texas who'd only seen snow once in her life, so I wasn't much of an expert, but hiking through miles of snow in a blizzard should have been more...cold? But it wasn't. We were currently on the side of a mountain and everyone was shivering and looking like they were freezing their asses off and I felt fine. Literally fine.

And here's the other thing. I wasn't exactly feather light. and I was definitely heavier than the hobbits. But they sunk deep into the snow, yet I was trekking my way just fine over the top. Frowning I noticed Legolas was also on top of the snow just fine too.

Well, just fine until a giant avalanche of snow landed on me. Strong arms helped pulled my body up and I spluttered, gasping for air. It was Legolas. "There is a fell voice in the air."

Squinting up into the sky, I could indeed hear a faint voice of a man through the strong winds.

Aragorn shouted. "He's trying to bring down the mountain. Gandalf! We must turn back!"

Gandalf raised his big ass stick into the air and started chanting complete utter gibberish into the mountains. "Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho Iruith. Sleep Caradhras, be still, lie still, hold your wrath."

The hobbits looked around fearfully, and the large dark haired man Boromir yelled, "We must get off the mountain! Make for the gap of Rohan and take the West road to my city."

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard."

The short man Gimli growled. "We cannot pass over the mountain. Let us go under it. Let us go through the mines of Moria."

Gandalf had a concerned look on his face. "Let the ring bearer decide."

Everyone stared at Frodo.

"We will go through the mines."

As everyone moved towards the other direction, I panic tapped Legolas on the shoulder. "Where are we going now?"

He looked me directly in the eyes."Listen to me Annie, you must stay close."

I rolled my eyes.

He stopped me in my tracks by stepping in front of my path. "Annie." He glared at me intently. "No wandering off."

If I could describe the Mines of Moria so far, I would definitely put it along the lines of bat shit insane.

I was currently crouched in a corner hyperventilating as arrows zoomed over my head and swords and axes smashed against each other. I couldn't function. We'd not only been attacked at a magical doorway by a giant lake monster, but now we were being ambushed by horrid disfigured creatures. I couldn't explain any of it.

I watched as Aragorn fought a giant cave troll and Boromir slicing into little monsters that waded into the room. Even the hobbits were fighting back any way they could.

"This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening." I chanted, in a fetal position. Trying to breathe, I stuck my hand into my purse, trying to find some sort of weapon I could defend myself with.

Suddenly a low snarl sounded next to my ear. I froze and slowly lifted my head. The most hideous face I've ever seen stared back at me.

I promptly opened my mouth and screamed.

Right as the creature was about to lunge at me, I whipped my hand out of my bag and pulled out a bright pink gun, pointed at it's mouth, and pulled the trigger.

Sneak Peek of next chapter:

"You have a weapon filled with rum?"

"It's Malibu." I said, squirting some in my mouth. "Mmm coconut."

Hey :) Please review. There's alot of filler moments but they all lead to bigger moments between Legs and Annie :) please review :) Especially if you have any advice or fun for the babes!