Sinner's Lullaby

by AcquiredMadness

[Emison AU] One year Emily Fields is a meek, laid-back girl who enjoyed the little things in life with her girlfriend. The next, she's grown into the skin of a cocky and proud womanizer, feeling the notion that she can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants, fearing zero consequences along the way. That is, until she meets a hard to get blonde who doesn't play by her rules.

2. Prologue I – Georgia, 2011

Prologue I – Georgia, 2011

Italics means thoughts, emphasized word or action. Bolded is a flashback or reading. (….) is an indication that time has passed.

"Rock and roll, baby.

Don't you know that we're all alone now?

I need something to sing about."

Short, exerted breaths are forced out as Emily lifts her upper body and jerks her chin above the pull-up bar before bringing herself down. Going up and down with a bit of speed, her back muscles relax and contract through her orange and blue sports bar with every elevation. Sweat streams down her firm abdomen as she can feel her body temperature raise by the seconds. After doing eight more pull-ups, she lowers her body with her arms fully extended and she hangs from underneath the bar. She releases her left limb to suspend with the other, shaking out the cramp that was tensing in her hand as she dangled from side to side like a monkey. Her bass-filled playlist suited for her workout blared through her red and white, over the ear JBL headphones to distract herself from the aches she was feeling all over from two hours of intense exercises.

"Come on, Fields! Don't quit now!"

"She can't do it – I told you she couldn't do it. She's all talk, no muscle."

"Well, she better do it. I have 10 bucks and a double bacon cheeseburger on her."

Five young male rangers, varying from shirtless to wearing sweat-soaked muscle tanks, stand around Emily as they watch her hang from the steel bar for what has been about 11 minutes since she began the exercise. As a friendly competition, a challenged was posed that Emily could not do more than 70 pull-ups in one set without any kipping, also known as a form of cheating one does when they struggle to pull themselves up, causing them to quickly jolt the knees upward to give the boost for another lift above the bar. Thus, using pure strength and capability, Emily took on the challenge to prove herself to her heckling comrades.

She takes in deep breaths through the nose and out the mouth as she tried to get out of her head, trying to ignore the throbbing in her forearms that now started to burn. Bowing her head down, she watches the sweat fall from her forehead and splash onto the cement floor. She kept her eyes low, not looking onto the gawking faces surrounding her, only focusing on the music to keep her going.

With her knees bent and ankles crossed, Emily places her left hand back on the bar and pushes out four more pull-ups before she hangs again.

"That's 67, Em! All you gotta do is three more and you're good!" one of the shirtless men call out as he rubs his white hand towel around the back of his neck. However, through her noise cancelling headphones, she couldn't hear any comments being made towards her. She needed complete concentration with no diversions of any sort if she wanted to accomplish the goal she set for herself.

Switching between arms to hang by, she reaches into the pocket of her Nike gym short and pulls out her phone. Her fingers repeatedly tap the next button on her music player until she finds a loud, motivating song she liked to push her over the edge. Emily shoves her phone back into her shorts, throws her hand up onto the bar, and looks up at the gym's grey ceilings, inhaling one more deep breath before she closed her eyes and pulled herself up for a few more rounds of chin checks.

"Oh shiiiit!" the shirtless ranger excitedly jumps up on his toes with a huge grin on his face, shoving the other comrade to the side as they all watch Emily go past the 70 limit, "Who's all talk and no muscle?! 'Cuz it sure's the hell not Emily Fields!"

The men observe with impressed smirks on their faces while others who were working out tossed a glance in their direction in curiosity from all the commotion that was being made.

Switching between lifting and hanging, lifting and hanging, Emily's body begins shaking as she struggles to do two more pull-ups before she drops on her feet with a grunt. She didn't have a moment to catch her breath before she felt hands on her upper arm from behind. She immediately pulled down her headphones to catch midway of an exclamation being hollered at her.

"-Fields fucking shit up at 76 pull-ups! Got the good form…" the ranger takes his rough hands and jaggedly massages her shoulders in celebration, "not destroying your shoulders, hanging on the bar for about a notable nine minutes…you should try out for Ninja Warrior, man!"

"Why the hell couldn't you stop at 67? Now, I owe Peters a burger." a sweat tank ranger crossed his arms with fake disappointment.

With her quick breathing causing her chest to heave in and out, she cocked her head to the side as she look at the guy with a raised brow, "Someone had to shut that hole in your face, didn't they?"

The surrounding males sound out in ooh's as Emily bent down beside the corner of the pull-up stand and grabbed her water bottle to guzzle down the remaining cold water she had left. After standing around for a few more minutes, listening and talking to the guys, she finally gives a friendly push of the arm to one of them, tiredly parting her goodbyes before she began walking towards the exit. Her legs wobbled her past the lobby of the gym building when all of a sudden Emily felt an immense amount of pressure on her jaw. With every part of her body already sore, she opens and rotates her lower mouth to try to alleviate some of the tension. Throughout her whole pull-up exercise, Emily was clenching her teeth harder and harder with every lift and didn't even realize it.

It wasn't long before the light Georgia breeze greeted her hot, drenched body once she walked through the double doors leading to the parking lot. Clocking out at 8:21am, Emily does quick mental math on how much time she would have to get home, take a shower, change into her uniform, and be inside of her shop before 9:30. She, and everyone else on base, had the choice of catering to their weekly fitness before or after work and for this time around, she chose morning routines just to get them out the way. Pros to that decision is having her evening s solely to herself. Cons? The feeling as if she's two steps away from becoming an aspiring break-dancer by swaying unsteadily and falling onto her knees.

Upon opening her car door, she throws her water bottle into the cup holder, reaches into the passenger seat to grab her hand towel draped on top of the seat, and wipes her face before the sweat that coated her skin fell into her eyes and burned her sight.

…

Once finished with her quick cool shower, blowing out her hair and wrapping it into a tight, braided bun, Emily walks into the warm kitchen of her small purchased home buttoning her uniform jacket down to complete her work attire.

"Good morning, early bird." Emily hears called to her as she bypasses the stove being worked on, exuding great aromas of bacon flooding her nose.

"Morning to you, Chef Gordon."

"I would rather be named after Chef Ramsey." Paige transfers a decent amount of eggs from the pan onto a plate before she picked up the dish and a full glass and turned to Emily who pulled out a chair at their dining table to put on her boots. "Gordon is an amateur. Something I'm not."

She places down the plate in front of her girlfriend and in an instant, Emily froze all her movements and enlarged her eyes. Mouth hanging open, her tongue almost rolled down to the floor like an animated cartoon.

"Strawberry banana crepes drizzled in melted hot Nutella with a side of breakfast sausages, bacon, scrambled eggs topped with a pinch of salt and splatter of pepper." Paige places her hands on her hips proudly as she describes her cooking as if she was revealing an award winning plate on an episode of Chopped. "Just as Lieutenant Fields enjoys them."

"You sure know how to spoil a girl." Emily states out with a now seemingly dry throat. She quickly shoves her feet into her boots and ties them without with her eyes leaving the table. Already fully styled in a casual updo, Paige sports a white, button up blouse and dark tight jeans to get her day started. Emily sits back up, closes her eyes with her hands folded in front of her for a rapid three seconds before she grabbed her silverware and dug into her food as if it was her last meal.

Paige laughs to herself with a puzzled, scrunched up face. "What kind of prayer was that?"

"The kind that allows me to demolish this plate in front of me." Emily answers on beat as she cuts into her crepe, shoving it into her mouth before her eyes rolled back and a satisfied hum left her throat. Paige watches on amused while Emily slowly chews, trying to savor every flavor. "I knew there was a reason I dated you." she mutters from the corner of her mouth with a head shake. Unbelievable. This breakfast was heaven. Edible heaven.

Paige silently chuckles as she walks off, heading back into the kitchen to put together her own plate. "So, what's the schedule for today?"

"Hmm…training." Emily floats back to earth with her eyes now opened and her fork reaching for her sausage. "Mostly training these guys then some paperwork that I didn't get to finish yesterday. Luckily, I didn't leave a lot of work for today. It should be an easy breezy Tuesday."

"You know what else is easy breezy?" Paige remarks before turning around to face Emily, making sure she had her attention. She lifts the handle of their sink faucet, causing the water to sputter out like a lawn sprinkler.

"I told you we should hire someone but you insisted that we didn't have to "waste money" and that you could fix it." she turns off the water and then turns it back on for it to continue to spurt out. "Look at it. Not fixed."

Emily flips her wrist out in front of her to look at her watch. "Oh geez! Would you look at that?" she grimaces as she rises to her feet. "Time just whizzes on by when you're having fun, doesn't it? I'm going to take this to go and uhhh…I'll call you later."

"Emily-"

"Thanks for the food. You are absolutely marvelous in every way, shape, and form, you know that?" Emily smiles as she quickly walks herself to one of their cabinets that held plastic containers and transferred her breakfast into the tub.

Paige crosses her arms with a stern eyebrow raised at her. "This sink is going to be marvelous in every way, shape, and form tonight because you're not sleeping until it's fixed."

"Sorry, what? I-I can't quite hear you." Emily presses the lid onto the bowl and swipes a plastic fork and knife from the drawer below before she started retreating towards the front door. "I think I still have some water in my ears from the shower."

"I said this-"

"Alright, I love you too! Bye!" Emily lifts her hat and keys from the entryway hanger and unlocks the door to swiftly leave her home to start making her way to work.

…

"Back with that major breaking news out of the White House today: U.S. Special Operations Forces are deploying to Afghanistan with local allies. The White House says the "boots on the ground" in Afghanistan with about 300 troops will be deployed this month along with 50 Special Forces. It comes with an intensified air strike campaign and also so-called Task Force Base in Iraq. White house press secretary Josh Earnest spoke earlier."

"The president has been quite clear that there is no military solution to the problems that are plaguing Afghanistan. There is a diplomatic one. The president has put in place a multi-faceted strategy to degrade and ultimately destroy. A large part of the troops' mission will be to train Afghan forces to take over the fight against the Taliban and defend their country's security. With most of the Taliban now in Pakistan, the president emphasized the need for a continued partnership with the government in Islamabad. At West Point, President Obama said Afghanistan is not lost, but has been moving backwards for several years. He said al-Qaida is planning new acts of terror from its safe havens along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, with the support of the Taliban."

The TV overhead on one of the walls fills the entire shop floor as Emily walks through the double doors. It takes people standing around, staring up at the news for Emily's attention to shift up at the TV as well.

"We must deny al-Qaida a safe haven, said President Obama. We must reverse the Taliban's momentum and deny it the ability to overthrow the government. And we must strengthen the capacity of Afghanistan's security forces and government, so that they can take lead responsibility for Afghanistan's future." The press conference changes back to the lead woman at CNN networks breaking the story.

"The 30,000 additional troops that they are announcing tonight will all deploy by the end of 2012 – the fastest pace possible – so that they can target the insurgency and secure key population centers, President Obama said earlier."

Few soldiers mumble their comments among each other as Emily glances around, capturing the reactions of those around her before she walks into her office. Hearing about the new operation in Afghanistan isn't really surprising, however, 30,000 troops being deployed was a pretty impressive number. Impressive in a tragic way. The talk of deployment always causes a buzz of chatter whenever it's that time but the thought doesn't particularly sit with her immediately. She's heard quite a few of these deployment news and never had to worry because her line of work wasn't called for. They need 30,000 troops, not Special Forces.

"You smell that, Lieutenant Fields?" a tawny-brown skinned, young male pops his head through the door, taking a large whiff of the air. This makes Emily turn around in her seat as she opens her water bottle and takes a sip.

"Looks like we're having pussy for breakfast."

Emily chokes on the water flowing down her throat at the random choice of words coming from this cheeky soldier. "Wh-what?"

The rest of his body follows as he steps into the doorway with a small smile on his face. "Training is about to start. We gotta finish breaking these bitches in. I don't know about you but today…" his small smiles extends out to a large, suspicious grin as he nods his head. "I'm feeling extra niceeeee."

Emily shakes her head with a small eye roll, turning back to her desk and opening one of her drawers in search for something. "Sergent Haynes, I told you about smoking before coming into work. It rots your brain cells."

"C'mon, Fields! Volunteering to train young bucks for a few hours? Be joyful! At least we're not out doing detail like everyone else." he leans against the door frame with his arms crossed. "I rather be out there showing privates how it's done than to be out there cleaning and fixing trucks all damn day. Plus, tomorrow we have water training. Let's at least try to enjoy our small break!"

….

Outside in the near fall weather of the August morning, Emily a handful of other leaders command a training exercise for about 200 young, hopefuls trying to get into the infantry side of Army. Being an Infantryman Officer, Emily and one other woman made history by being the first females to ever pass and become a certified Ranger in the military. Women have never been allowed to be on front lines nor be in Special Forces, only leaving those jobs for men, but with enough push, the Defense Secretary announced that all combat jobs would be opened to women.

However, this decision wasn't met with open arms. Eighty-five percent of men surveyed from US Special Operations Command said they opposed allowing women into their specialties. "It's a slap in the face telling us that chicks can do our jobs," Emily overheard a solider say in small talk when she first began training, not thinking she could hear. Despite the majority of men against her at first, after being able to prove she could hold her weight and the weight of her fellow soldiers, she quickly changed the opinion of a good amount. Seeing that she was able to beat out the 42% graduation rate and 1/3rd of men who drop out before day five, she pretty much made a name for herself.

Once passing Ranger school, applying, and being accepted into the elect combat regiment, the men at the Army's base, Fort Benning, were very accepting of Emily into their Special Ops circle. However, she still deals with minor pushback and snark from alpha males that still believe a woman should stick to their places. But all that talk does is pushes her to become one of the best Rangers this base has ever fucking seen. She didn't earn her rank of First Lieutenant and enter The 75th Ranger Regiment, one of the most lethal, elite, and agile forces in the military, by painting nails and winging eyeliner. She doesn't mind the whispers but when you see her black and red uniform patch that reads "75 Ranger Rgt" on her arm, it already tells you you're talking to a badass.

"Left….FACE! Forward…MARCH!"

The single platoon of 50 soldiers begin to march forward, however, with some stepping off the wrong feet, walking too quickly or two slow, the group of young cadets start off rough in getting in formation before Emily yells out a few "woahs!" to stop everyone.

"What the hell was that?" Emily walks up the side of the platoon, staring through her black sport shades at all of the soldiers standing and looking forward. "I don't remember giving the command clusterfuck march."

"If you guys can't pick up your feet correctly, how can we trust you with a damn weapon?" another instructor asks as looks up and down in disbelief to the circus he just witnessed. The group of privates keep their eyes forward before Emily gives them orders to adjust their formation so that they can begin marching again. Second time around is much better when Emily marches the platoon towards one of their gas rooms. She and her people are the heart of the Army when it comes to combat so that means they cannot afford to have any weak links anywhere. Even if they have to break people down just for them to come back stronger and ready, that is a precaution they are willing to make.

Four sections of 50 armed soldiers in each platoon stand at attention as Emily and the other instructors stand before them, giving them directions for the nuclear, biological, and chemical portion of their training.

"You will walk in, stay on the right side of the wall and then when it's your turn to head out, you're gonna move in and come out the left side. If you drop your equipment, once it hits the ground, you just earned yourself a second time around." Emily looks around at the 200 fresh faces, knowing they weren't going to be so fresh in 10 minutes. She presses out her firm voice once again to reiterate herself.

"I will repeat again: If you your equipment touches that floor, you will go inside that chamber for a second time. Do I make myself clear?"

"HOOAH!" a crisp roar echoes out from all the male soldiers standing in front of her.

"The goal of this training is to teach you how to react to chemical and biological weapons and to help you gain confidence in their equipment." Another instruction strolls past Emily with his hands behind his back as he takes the floor to briefly explain the reasoning of this particular training. "Even though we don't have this type of threat all the time, y'all as soldiers could run across something suspicious in Iraq or Afghanistan, like a chlorine bomb, and you need to know how to properly react to it."

With this experiment, the soldiers are put in a sealed room, filled with tear gas, where they enter with their masks on. When fully shut inside, they are forced to remove their masks and are made to exercise, answer questions, recite the infantry creed, and/or any number of other things to ensure they are breathing deep. Once the mucus is flowing and the heart is going, they get to exit the gas chamber and run laps with their arms out, which helps expose their skin to the air and remove any traces of the contaminant. However, if you screw up or let any of your equipment touch the ground, you will go again for a second round and will continue redoing it until everything is done correctly.

Chamber of Horrors, what many call it.

Coming right after college graduation, when Emily was in-basic training, standing in that very formation with instructors breathing down her neck two years ago, she remembers exactly what they were putting the newbies through.

And it was the worst thing she's ever experienced in her life.

"Fields, let's go! You're up!"

A thick fog filled the medium sized room as a coffee can filled with CS pellets burned, officially turning it into a gas chamber. Emily's heart thumps against her chest in uneasiness as the time to face the music became hers. She placed her hands over her gas mask, telling herself to remain calm while the sounds of her fellow masked brothers clap to cheer her on.

"C'mon, man!"

"Get some balls, Fields!"

"You can do it!"

Emily takes in a huge breath and rips her gas mask off, looking straight ahead at her instructor.

"I am the Infantry! I am my country's strength in war!" she shuts her eyes tightly as the strong gas seeps inside, burning the sensitive tissue. "Her deterrent in peace! I am the heart of the fight - wherever, whenever! I carry America's faith and honor against her enemies! I am the Queen of Battle!" Doing its job, rapidly starting to attack the mucus membranes in her eyes, nose, mouth and lungs with every breath Emily takes in, she begins to cough as she fights herself to get through the creed she had to memorize and, ultimately, live by.

"I am what my country expects metobe! The best trained solider in the world! In the race for victory, I am swiftdeterminedandcourageous! Armed with a fierce will to win!" As her face starts to glisten, her mouth begins to water unbelievably fast, making the already speedy attempt to finish her creed difficult as she feels that she's now choking.

"Neve….Never will I betray my country's trust! Always I fight on - through the foe! T…To the…To the objective-" A massive amount of saliva spills out of Emily's mouth and slides down her chin. She begins to gasp in the infested air as the large buildup of spit in her mouth blocks her way of talking clearly. But she has to keep going.

"To triumph over all! If necessary, I will fight to my death! By my steadfast courage, I have won 200 years of freedom!" she spits out a disgusting wad, making her fellows yell out with woo's and clapping. The gas was really kicking her ass as she stood there at attention with her eyes painfully shut, her face red, and thick loads falling out of her mouth like toddler but she kept fighting through it with her voice firm and loud.

"I yield not to weakness! To hunger!" she gasps.

"To cowardice!"

Gasp.

"To fatigue!"

Gasp.

"To superior odds! For I am mentally tough! Physically strong! And morally straight!" she spits again then tilts her head up towards the ceiling, her face visibly weakening as she looks like she's about to cry.

"I forsake not my country! My mission! My comrades! My sacred duty! I am relentless! I am always there! Now and forever! I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!" she belts out with a powerful roar before she caves in and bends over. The other soldiers scream out with her in celebration, patting her back and shaking her as they're all proud that she made it through. Her instructor grabs her by the upper arm and forcibly drags her out of that tight circle, pulling her towards the exit doors as a long waterfall drops from her mouth, panting out desperately for the hell to end.

"Go to the left!"

"Get your head up! Stand up!"

"Keep walking!"

"Go left! Do I need to speak it in Spanish to you?! Go left!"

"That way!" Emily grabs a boy's backpack and yanks him in the left direction towards a wall while the other leaders direct the blind mice, spewing body fluids, to where they needed to be through their shouting. For those who successfully went through the chamber without failing or letting their equipment drop, they were able to go straight and get rid of the gas. If you were unsuccessful, you were hurdled to the left, back in line for another round of the treatment.

"Let's go." a man decked out in full gas gear stands at the open door to the room, waving the rejects in. Due to them trying to find themselves through the hacking and spitting, they are slow to move to the orders. "Let's go!" he yells a bit louder. Still, barely any movement. "LET'S! GO! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Get in there!" he pushes the first soldier into the room as the line of unfortunate men follow after him.

…..

"Let's go! Open your eyes! Blink!"

"You! To the left!"

"Come on, straight ahead!"

A young male holding his rifle barely up stumbles a few steps past Emily before she grabbed him and pulled him to the left wall. "Nice try," she comments to the same boy she pulled aside the last time. "I warned you to not lower your weapon. It's a gun not a cane. Up against the wall."

…..

Same rhythm is repeated with soldiers staggering out with their rifles and gas mask held up in their hands. Some were told to go straight while others went yet again back to the line. This process happens about eight more times, with different platoons heading in at different times. However, it seems to be a pattern with certain privates that just won't do it right the first time. Or the second. Or the fifth.

"You want it to stop?! Hm!" one of the leaders tower over a soldier who kept screwing up a task that they're only exposed to for two minutes. "You think when you're overseas and the enemy throws a fucking gas explosive on you that they're gonna stop, drop, roll, just because you're crying?! NO! THEY WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU, PRIVATE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

Emily and Sergent Haynes, her fellow from earlier in the office, stand over a male who was crouched over and refused to stand up no matter how many times they told him to. They yelled over and over for him to stand on his feet but patience wore thin from both sides when they grabbed a piece of his backpack and pull him up instead. Slime dripped out of his nose onto the dirt of the ground as they walked him to the wall.

"That's what you get for being all fucked up. Since the day you got here, you been all fucked up. And now you fucked up your sight. Good for you. Maybe this time you'll learn." Sergent Haynes tells him as Emily grabs his arm and lifts it up higher.

"Private, all you gotta do is keep your rifle up! That's it!" she tries to encourage him. She knows how torturous it is but they cannot be easy on them by any means. If they can't follow simple directions, then they have to keep doing it until they get it right.

…

Knocking out those 5 hours of hardcore training in the heat still lingering over from the summer, Emily gets into the cool air-conditioned shop and plops herself onto her desk chair in her office. Who would have known that teaching was just as tiring as performing? She pulls her cell out of her pants pocket and wakes it up, flashing up her lock screen of her and Paige. Both wearing black blouses, Emily leaned up against Paige with her arm around her shoulder and Paige holding Emily's waist as they both smile happily at the camera. A faint grin creeps onto Emily's face as she stares at the screen.

Paige and Emily has had history with each other ever since freshmen year of college. Coming out of a long term relationship with her girlfriend in high school, which ended on neutral waters of going different directions, Emily met Paige at Stanford University and they haven't looked back ever since. She was there through the stressful days of schooling, graduation, and decided to stick her through Emily's decision to join the Army. Where most girlfriends would feel finicky about their partner joining the military and having to follow after them despite where their dream was, Paige held Emily's hand and moved her life with her to Georgia where they settled down and started creating their lives together with their first brought home. Emily couldn't be any more grateful because enduring this new chapter in her life with no one would have terrify her. She didn't want to date around. She needed someone who would hold the fort down when she's away.

And that was Paige.

Locking the screen, Emily places her phone on her desk and makes herself comfortable in her chair. If she wanted to be out by 5pm, she would have to start attacking her paperwork now. She leans forward and switches on her portable radio sitting on her desk and keeps the volume low to keep her cubicle from being silent. She takes her military ID card out of her wallet and enters it into the Access Card reader to start up her computer. First things first: checking her emails for anything from her superiors before she jumps into her desk work.

"-cause the word is never gonna come out! Now…L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce! That was 3OH!3 featuring Katy Perry with "Starstrukk". We got the whole hour with nonstop radio, no commercials, and right now we're gonna throw you another bop! This is "Obsessed" by Mariah Carey with all the hits you need, 24/7, Hit Nation!"

Emily nods her head to music as she clicks around her computer, reading off schedules and announcements sent to everyone.

"Hm…Barbeque…" she says softly to herself as she reads an email forwarded by one of soldiers in her regiment. "Pool party and barbeque this Saturday for….Captain Tyrell? You don't have to tell me twice." she giggles softly as she hits reply to add her name to the reservation list. She knows how this whole thing goes: if you come to a gathering, you have bring something to the table. She pouts as she thinks of a possible-

"Fields." a voice snaps Emily's attention to the door when Haynes makes another appearance. "We're being called into briefing."

"Briefing?" Emily slowly stands up, confused at his words. "There wasn't announcement for a briefing."

"It was just called now, c'mon." the young male takes off jogging down the hallway with Emily trailing behind with a quickened step, still lost. She and Haynes get into the briefing room and they see six other fellows who all turn to their direction as soon as they walk in.

"Why are–woah…." Haynes trails off upon seeing who they encountered. "Uhm…where is everyone else? Are we early?"

One of the soldiers shrugs. "CO said 1540. Ain't nobody else showing up it looks like."

Emily checks her watch and sees the blue electronic number, 1539. She steps up from behind Haynes. "Did he specify why we're being called in?"

"I dunno. But to be honest, I heard that Levi forgot-"

"Soldiers! Fall in!"

Without the brain being able to compute another action, everyone aligns in a line formation, standing tall with their eyes straight, bodies stiff, and hands held at their sides in a light fist. The steps of boots gradually make their way towards the group before an older, middle aged man stood in front of them. Although her eyes were focused strictly straight ahead at the wall opposite of them, she could see out of her peripherals that the commanding officer's face was hard and tense, which only means what he came barring was nothing good.

"At ease." the man ordered with a softer voice this time. The soldiers move their left foot about 10 inches to the left of the right foot while simultaneously placing their hands at the small of their back. They all turn their heads and eyes directly toward the CO, ready for whatever he had to say.

"As you guys probably heard today, there have been some brand new information on the direction of where we are and what's to come." he looks at every induvial as with frowned brows and a tight jaw. "There has been a list of names sent out this morning and you eight have been selected from this battalion to head out to Afghanistan."

Emily's throat instantly tightened and with a silent inhale she took. She tried with everything in her to control her eye size because she didn't want to give away her reaction towards this announcement.

"We are high priority so that means after this moment right now, by Monday morning, you should have already arrived at your station. Which means you're flying out in the early hours of Saturday morning. Three days to get everything in order and leave, which should be already set, correct?

"Hooah." a firm confirmation is sounded from everyone along with Emily's weak call out that mixed in. She blinked several times at a rapid speed while she kept her focus on her superior, however, it seemed like her sight was blurring. Being deployed was one thing, but to be out of the country and into a warzone before this week ends was surreal to her. Suddenly the "No-Notice Deployment" became very real.

"I know this is short notice but this is what you guys signed up for. I'm cutting you guys out today early so you can get a head start on getting clearance from medical, get your records, uniforms, and everything out of the way. By Friday night, I expect you guys to be already asleep for Saturday. Have dinner at 2pm if you have to. Understood?"

"Hooah."

"All except for Master Sergent Roland here, who has already been deployed before…." the CO nods his head and sets his eyes on everyone for a second before he locks eyes with Emily, a soldier standing tall and ready on the outside. He clicks his tongue with a tilt of his head. "You all are about to meet the War on Terror and what an ugly bitch she is. Welcome to Operation Shadow Hunters, soldiers."

…..

Emily slinks back to her isolated cubicle of an office with a manila envelope in her hand and a rock in her stomach. Now, some would say, why sign up for the military if you don't want to go to war? For Emily, it's the just the initial realization that her world will be drastically changing within days. Ever since she joined, the moment of deployment was something that would always float around in the back of her mind. After all, she has trained for this moment. All the PowerPoint briefings, lectures, kit issues, and training exercises, day in and day out, have morphed her body and brain for the day. At light speed, countless scenarios play out in her head, most of them being solely on the culture portrayal of war because until that point, despite being a soldier, she had no other frame of reference.

War on Terror…

Afghanistan…

Operation Shadow Hunters…

What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Emily…

"This is it!" Haynes comes into Emily's space grinning ear to ear, smacking the envelope with his backhand. "This is fucking it. The moment we've been training for. Oh, how I've dreamed of this day…" he leans his body against the wall with his hands extended, the child-like smile still lingering on his face. Emily merely shakes her head at him with a forced smile of her own.

"You're really excited for someone who is going into a high-level warzone."

"You kidding me? I'm above excited. I'm fucking high right now, man." Haynes pushes himself off the wall and walks over to Emily's desk, taking a seat at the edge, "Coming from a small ass, rural town in Ohio, the most adventurous thing I did growing up was sneaking out to meet city girls. I was projected to be a nobody, working in my uncle's garage for who knows how long and never getting out of that shithole. Probably find a decent girl who wasn't getting out either, get all sappy, marry her and have three kids. And just repeat that cycle for them. Now look at me." Haynes leans into Emily with a laugh with his hands out, gesturing to himself. "Not only in the Army, not only a Ranger, but a damn Army Ranger in the 75th Regiment like…this is us, Em."

Emily nods her head silently as her gaze falls down to her envelope in her hands. Haynes' bright smile slowly fades to appreciative one. He lightly taps Emily's arm with his envelope. "You should be feeling it too. You're going to be one of, if not, the first woman to fight in combat in U.S. history. That's so badass. So badass!" he repeats with enthusiasm flowing through his body. He couldn't help how passionate he got towards things but the best aspect about that is he can take that same energy and brighten a dark room with it. Although doubtful before, Emily looks up at him as his positivity starts to successfully rub off.

"Your name is going to be in the history books for your kids, my kids, and millions of other kids to learn about years from now. Don't you feel that?" he nudges her, trying to get her to smile. To understand the severity of his words."I feel honored to be even speaking to you, let alone being friends with you. I'm gonna be like, yeah! Yeah, I know Emily Fields! That's my fucking sister!" he softly calls out as he pretends to be yelling at someone. "Fuck all of you telling stories! You don't know her like I know her! Heyheyhey, back up grandma! I'm the number fan of the Emily Fields fan-club, you better get in the back of the line like everyone else!"

Emily chuckles out a laugh, allowing Haynes to fully get to her and distract her from her current mind frame. This pitch of laughter made him feel better internally because he was trying hard to get Emily to break. He couldn't have his right hand fellow and friend down especially if he could help it.

"This is our first deployment and, hey, I know it's gonna be scary but you're not going alone. You got others right here from the battalion and you got me. And I'll tell you what," he stands to his feet, gripping his envelope in one hand and holding out his other towards Emily. He looks down at her with a beam of sincerity flashing from his light brown eyes. "I will never leave you behind. You can take my word on that."

Emily looks in front of her at his hand for a second before she grasped it and stood up, standing face to face with him as they firmly locked hands.

"Your word is my word. I will never give up on you, either."

"That's what I'm fucking talking about. That bond. That strength. Uhhh!" Haynes groans with a small lean back and a scrunched up face, shaking Emily's hand before he let her go. "Powerful. But uhm, where are you heading to first to get this checklist done?"

Emily pulls her phone out of her pocket with her eyes raised up to the celling, pouting out her bottom lip as she thought to herself. "Maybe medical? Get all that out the way since that's gonna be one of the major pain in the asses."

"Medical it is. I'll drive you over there."

"Okay, I just gotta check something."

"Alriiight. You know where the car is." Haynes calls over his shoulder as he slides his way out of Emily's office and out of sight. With all this new information being piled on her, Emily's first instinct was to call Paige and tell her what was going on. However, when she dialed her number, she stopped. If Emily knows Paige as well as she does, this timing while she's still at work would not be the wisest choice. The last thing she wanted to do was to cause a freak-out and then leave her hanging for hours until she got home. But…it would at least give her time to process everything…

Blindside at work or blindside at dinner?

Work?

Dinner?

Work?

Dinner?

Emily contemplates for a few moments before she places her phone back into her pocket.

I hope she likes lasagna and a side plate of 'breaking news on war' with a cup of 'holy shit' for tonight.

….

Ring…

Ring…

Ri-

"Haaaaaaay baaaaabe! Where the hell have you been?"

Emily smiles to herself hearing the peppy voice as she stands outside a bricked building. Slowly bypassing a person who seemed to be on their smoke break, she maintains kicking a rock in her path as she tries her best to slide into this conversation.

"Work, work, work, and more work." she forces herself to exhale a laugh to not give away her riddled nerves.

Hanna scoffs uncaringly. "Yeah whatever. Anyways, how is my most favorite lover in the whole wide world?"

"Actually….I came baring a bit of news…"

"Oooh, I like news. Hit me. What's the town's latest gossip? I've been dying for a follow-up ever since you told me about that one guy getting caught drunk on the job. I neeeed an update."

"Well, update on that: he's been dishonorably discharged from the military and most likely heading to serve some time right now."

"Damn-"

"But I have good news and bad news." Emily winces as if Hanna was standing right in front of her.

"Oh fuck." A long exerted sigh was made on the other end of the line. Emily could almost seee Hanna rubbing her temples while she spoke. "Fuck, this couldn't be a good and wholesome call, huh? Alright. What is it?"

"Good or bad first."

"I don't care, just spill it."

"Well, good news is that we're might be able to see each other as soon as in the next days..." Emily trails off as softly as possible before the bomb dropped.

"Really?! How? Why! What happened?!" the groan of a voice turned into a hyper child-like excitement to this 'news'. With Hanna living on the east coast in New York and Emily lived in the southern parts of Georgia, seeing each other is a lot more complicated then driving five minutes to each other's house after school. The last time Hanna saw Emily was about a year ago during her Ranger school graduation. It's been randomly Face Timing ever since. Emily closes her eyes tightly with her teeth clenched. She takes a few seconds before she slowly released her other news.

"….I just was told by my commanding officer that I am being deployed overseas to Afghanistan."

Emily squeezes her left eye as she opens her right, waiting for some kind of reaction from the other end. The call stays silent for a few more seconds before a barrage of intelligible words were garbled out in an attempt to formulate some kind of sentence that was having a bit of challenge creating. Emily listens on as Hanna tries to talk but it sounded like she was having a computer glitch and couldn't communicate correctly so Emily continues on.

"The reason I'm calling you is because I'm leaving Saturday morning. This way, with me telling you immediately, it will give you the most time possible to book a flight if you wanted to see me before I leave."

"If I wanted to see you-of course I'm going to see you before you leave! What kind of shit?" Hanna finally yells out with her first statement after the news. Shortly after, more groans and sighs are released but more desperate and concerning than before. "Oh my god…Afghanistan? Fucking Afghanistan? This week?!"

"Unfortunately…" Emily kicks the rock in front of her into a patch of grass before she turns and looks up at the sky.

"How is that even?! Oh my god, I have to cancel appointments, call-in work, call Caleb. I-I have to stop everything! The flights! Oh my god, how am I gonna hack this?"

"I'm sor-"

"Hold on, hold on, that's Caleb calling right now-"

"Go ahead and answer it. I just wanted to give you the heads up."

"Thanks for this fucked heads up. I'm gonna tell him and check around to see what I can do, okay?"

"Alright."

"I'll text you later on."

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

Hanna ends the call before Emily was able to, leading her to her contact screen. She blows out air with a small shake of her head as she scrolls down her list.

One down, two more to go…

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

"Hello, this is Toby Cavanaugh's phone and unfortunately I am unable to answer your call."

As the voicemail continues, Emily quickly debated within herself to leave Toby a voicemail or to just text him instead. Noting that he would see a text right away compared to a voicemail that could be left unheard for who knows how long, Emily hangs up the phone and opens his conversation instead.

Today 5:37pm

Emily: Hey Tobs. I just wanted to let you know that the day has finally came and I've been notified that I'm heading out to Afghanistan this Saturday. I'm tossing out this invite because I would really like to see you before I leave. Any time before Friday night would be prefect. If you can't make it I totally understand as well because this is an extremely short notice. Just promise to call me before then and we can have an hour chat or something lol. Hit me up when you can.

She rereads over her text a couple times before she hit send. She then backs out of the conversation and taps back to the call screen.

And now for the hardest call of all…

Emily bounces back and forth on her toes as she tries to pick who should be next. Should she break the news to her mother or to her father? Wayne seemed like the logical choice but, at the same time, a part of her wanted to hear her mother's voice when she breaks it to them. While her father would give her advice and try to calm her spirits, he would sound more like one of her commanders rather than the nurturing advice from her mother. They have dealt with this many times before so she should know what to say, right? A few cars come in and out of the parking lot she stood before until she finally makes her choice. With her luck, they'll both be there so it'll be easier.

Ring…
Ring…
Ring…

"Ah. Is this Lieutenant Fields? Calling me? My phone?"

The sound of her father and his everlasting sense of happiness whenever they talk makes Emily feel warm despite the anxious feeling she has. "Hey, dad." she smiles as she looks down at her boots.

"Hey, sweet pea. How are things going over there in the land of Georgia?"

"So far, so good. Not too hot but we're not getting that cold breeze either so I would say we're doing alright."

"Good, good. That's what I like to hear."

"I got some news that I wanted to share, actually." Emily finds herself laughing as she turned and began walking the length of the sidewalk. There was no immediate response after three seconds so she pushes on. "Do you wanna know what it is?"

Silence.

"What? No guesses?"

Emily gives it a few more seconds before she went to speak again. However, this time her father beat her to the punch. "You're leaving….aren't you?"

"Yes sir." Emily lets out a wry chuckle. "Front and center in Afghanistan….How did you know?"

Wayne sighs out tiredly, for once hating that he was right. "I heard about it on the radio today while I was driving. About 30,000 troops set for deployment. But the moment I heard that 50 Special Ops were also being called over there….let's just say that I was praying that you weren't going to call your mother and I any time soon unless it was a casual conversation."

"Welp, I think your prayers were blocked somehow while getting up to the big man." she looks over her shoulder towards the building entrance just in time to see Haynes approach the doors and wave her over. She raises a hand at him before she moves to wrap up her conversation. "So, I leave this Saturday and I was hop-"

"We're coming." Wayne firmly steps in without another second to waste. "You don't even have to say anything else. Your mother and I will be there for you."

Emily squeezes her lips tightly for an appreciative smile, nodding her head to herself. "Thank you. I, uh, I have to go back inside but I wanted to let you know what was going on. Gently break it down to mom for me?"

"Will do. Go ahead and start checking off that checklist. Anything you're unsure about or just need help, you call me. Things tend to get really hazy with all the paperwork and can be very overwhelming for the first time so if you need advice, I'm here."

"Thank you. I love you, dad."

"I love you too, Emmy. Talk to you later."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

…

A fork scraps against a plate while picking up a piece of meaty lasagna as Paige chews, silently listening on to Emily's phone conversation in the kitchen. She didn't want to start dinner without Emily at the table but she insisted her to eat. There was something particularly off about Emily when she got home, Paige thought to herself. This morning she was pretty light and full of smiles but mid-day, she seemed occupied, and even now being at home, there appears to be some kind of weight on her that she wasn't voicing. It concerned Paige because when Emily gets into her moods, it's normally something that's really bothering her.

Emily finally ends her call and checks her messages one more time before she grabbed her plate and walked over to the dining room with her manila envelope in her hand. Paige curiously chews as she watches Emily sit next to her.

"Did everything go okay?"

"Hm?" Emily hums, coming out of her thoughts and putting her attention on her girlfriend.

Paige points at her specifically with a nod at her packet. "Work. Is everything alright? You seem tense."

Emily looks down at the envelope. She didn't want prolong this conversation any longer than she already has. Just about everyone close to her knows about her news except Paige and now was the time to put it out in the open so they can do what they have to do to deal with it.

"This is, uh…this is paperwork-"

Paige groans with her head tilted back, "I can already feel your drainage." she knew Emily had paperwork to finish at work but it looks like she had to bring her work home. The exhaustion she probably feels.

"Well, put it to the side and let's enjoy dinner. It's not going to disappear 30 minutes from now." Paige sweetly smiles at her before she picks up another piece of lasagna.

"It's my paperwork..." Emily continues on as her fingers lightly tap on the envelope with her eyes staring at her plate. "Medical…Insurance…Power of Attorney…Will…" Emily lifts her head to see Paige's face become less sweet and more puzzled. She bites the inside of her cheek.

"I got orders today that I'm leaving for Afghanistan. Me and six other guys from the battalion. I've been running around all day because I have to be on the plane by Saturday morning."

"Wh-wha-what Saturday?" Paige hastily shakes her head, raising up both hands as to pause. To understand what Emily is telling her. "Which Saturday-Saturday when?"

"This Saturday." Emily confirms in a low and exhausted voice.

"You're leaving for Afghanistan in….in 4 days?!"

"Before I am able to head out, I have to go through this checklist of things to take care of." Emily solemnly informs a still stunned Paige who had pushed her plate away while Emily pulled out an assortment of papers. "I have good news and bad news…"

"Well, I wonder what the hell is worse than hearing you're going to fucking Afghanistan. Oh my God." Paige rubs her face with a long groan before her fingers found themselves lodged in her hair. Emily looks at her patiently as she waits for an answer. Paige stares back, both having a moment of silence before she let out another sigh.

"I rather just get the bad news over with. I…..I don't know…."

"Bad news..." Emily repeats with a slight trail off as she looks down at the table. Her food is probably going to be cold by the time she starts eating it. "Bad news is that the military doesn't recognize relationships unless it's a marriage. So technically, although we've been together for years, I'm stamped as single under legal terms."

"Yeah, Okay…."

"That means you have no rights. To anything." Emily glances back up in Paige's direction. "You have no rights to enter the base, no rights to my finances, no rights to any documents, no rights to make any decisions, you don't even have the rights to get any information regarding me overseas."

Paige leans back into her chair as she crosses her arms, not sure about what Emily's is telling her. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Let's say, God forbid, I get injured or die over there, you would think because we are in a relationship, the military will notify you. Well, they don't and they won't. My parents will find out everything before you will and you will have to rely on them for any dire information on my well-being. Even at the funeral. When they fold the flag and give it to the family, that's exactly who will be recognized. My family. My parents. You'll just be seen as the grieving girlfriend but that's as far as it goes. You will not receive any financial or any other type of assistance if the worst was to happen."

"So, I'm invisible. That's what you're telling me."

Emily empathetically shrugs with a long, tired face. "They don't have time to chase after relationships and girlfriends and boyfriends. You're either the spouse or you're a nobody."

Paige groans as she know leans forwards again, putting her hands onto her face. Emily feels her energy. Just repeating that information hurt her. Just to know that Paige is virtually nonexistent and will be in the dark for at least five months is unfathomable to her. She knows if it were the opposite way around, she would go crazy every single day not knowing anything about Paige's safety. She would probably have her parents on speed-dial, calling constantly.

"But luckily we have a few options." Emily's voice raises an optimistic pitch as she scouts in closer to the table. Paige picks up on that minor change of tone and perks up just a bit as well as she watches Emily go through some of her papers. "I got a general Power of Attorney and I can list you as the primary so it'll grant you the right to make legal and financial decisions on my behalf like the house for example. And since I'm getting monthly extra pay for being out there, we can create a joint banking account so you can get the money to help out while I'm gone."

Emily slides Paige a few various sheets regarding what she's talking about and she couldn't be any more overwhelmed by this sudden bombshell of news. Her girlfriend's voice slowly begins to drown out to the background as her eyes start to connect with the words on the papers. With the font so little and word count so many, she feels like she's looking at a printed version of a terms & conditions agreement.

If the time comes when I am incapacitated to the point when I can no longer actively take part in decisions for my own life, and am unable to direct my physician as to my own medical care, I wish this statement to stand as a statement of my wishes.

I, Emily Catherine Fields, the author of this document, request that, if my condition is deemed terminal or if I am determined to be permanentlyunconscious, I be allowed to die and not be kept alive through life support systems.

I have reviewed and completed this document in order to give instruction and requests for my funeral and burial.

I do/I do not wish to donate my body/my organs. (Specify which and to whom, if relevant)

The religious observances will be: _

I want: an open casket [ ] a closed casket [ ] to be cremated [ ]

"Hey." Emily gently reaches for Paige's hand. Looking like she's growing paler as the minutes go by, Emily needed to get her attention from all of the blaring confusion so they can process each and every little thing together.

"We will get through this. Okay?" Emily massages Paige's hand within her own as she looks deep into her eyes. She could see the puzzlement and unease overtaking her and the only thing Emily wanted to do is soothe her in her last few days.

"There have been many of times my dad left us but as long as you have faith and a good support system, you will survive it. We will survive this." Emily pulls their hand towards her lips and places a gentle kiss on the back of Paige's hand, not breaking their eye contact. "I promise."

…..

Emily leans forward off to the side of her computer and reaches to open her desk dresser. "So, I was going through a few of my things and came across pictures from high school-"

"Oh God...." Toby groans with his face upturned in a regretful grimace as he watches Emily move around on the other side of their Skype call.

"Junior year. Homecoming."

"Please don't tell me you have the picture with you."

"I have the picture with me!" Emily laughs as she pulls back a photograph dating all the way from 2003. "Look at us! We were practically fetuses here!" She puts the picture closer to her built in computer camera as she grins happily from behind. If it wasn't the quality of the photo, the style of both of them definitely showed their age compared to the upgrades of 2011. With her hair black, long, and waved, Emily wore a simple blue dress that had bottom fringes stopping at her knees as Toby wore a plain dark suit with a gold tie.

"Oh goodness, the hair." He covers his eyes in embarrassment just Emily pulled back from the camera. "Why was that hair popular back then? The best choice I've ever made was to cut that shit off." Toby reaches up and rubs his shorter haircut between his fingers. Emily, still in joyous spirits, glances down at the picture in her hand with a smile, still examining it.

"What are you talking about? You looked cute!"

"No, you looked cute. I looked abandoned."

Emily ponders for a second, bouncing her head from side to side before she put the picture back into the drawer. "...True."

Toby chokes out with a surprised laugh, not expecting that kind of response back to his self-deprecation. "Hey, you weren't supposed to agree with that!" They both begin laughing with each other before Emily let's out a long sigh, lifting up her beer bottle to her lips.

"I don't miss high school much but there are definitely memories I would love to relive." she expresses before she drinks.

"Who would have guessed this would be the turnout years later." Toby eases into his computer chair with his smile drifting into a small smirk. It's been eight years since junior year and so many things have happened from then to the current day. After high school, Emily and Toby made a pact that no matter what opportunities came their way, they would finish college first. Emily graduated from college and went into the military while Toby joined a different kind of forces by going into the police department. Toby's career path could be foreseen but Emily's? Not so much.

"Who would have?" Emily says with a chuckle in her voice. "I thought I would be on my way to the Olympics or something dealing with athleticism. Definitely not a ranger."

"If you think about it, you didn't land far from your ideal goal. Being a ranger is pure athleticism and then some. You and I," Toby briefly takes sip of his drink. "We are the backbones of this country. Protecting our people every day and putting ourselves in the line of fire to uphold that protection. Not everyone can do what we do. Not everyone can do what you do. Which leads me to say... I'm proud of you, Em. You're my hero."

Emily swivels in her chair as she blushes, smiling hard as she waves her hand at the camera. "Oh, stop it." she bashfully covers her face as Toby begins smiling all over again. This is a memory that was going to be permanently stamped in his brain when asked about his friendship with her.

"No, seriously! I look up to you. I'm grateful for you being in my life."

With her face still brightening up, Emily stares at her screen of her best friend with a loving smile. She really did love him even if they were hundreds of miles away.

"And I am grateful for you, Toby." she lifts up her bottle at camera level. "Cheers to us."

Toby moves up closer to his computer, placing his bottle up as well. "To us."

…..

"FYI, I'm not giving this shirt back to you. It's permanently mines now. You're just going to have to get another."

"I'm pretty sure I can't order another one but go ahead. It's my gift to you." Emily chuckles as she plops down onto her couch right besides Hanna. Flying in yesterday early in the morning, with the last minute notice and her inability to move around her work schedule, this will be the quickest "Hi and bye" Hanna and Emily have ever done with her flight leaving tomorrow. While they have their time together, Paige decided to give them space as she goes shopping to put together a little care page for Emily. All evening, before sundown, they've been sitting going over old memories and watching movies together as Hanna tries to avoid the talk of overseas. She knows once they start that discussion of the severity of her deployment, the tears will not stop flowing for anyone.

So as of right now: Bridesmaids

In Emily's old and faded, light blue college shirt that had her name branded in the back in gold, Hanna non-discreetly watches her set up the DVD player to start their movie.

They do this every time. Every time they get together it's always the same thing; talk about the present, a little of the future, go back to the past with the "remember when's", and then do something mundane like watch a movie or binge a show because it's simple and requires little to no energy. But this time is different. There is a possibility where this might be the last time she'll ever get to be with her best friend again and she didn't want this to be her lasting memory.

She didn't want simple.

She wanted to make a memory worth reliving.

"Okay, this is totally not a spoiler alert but whe-"

Suddenly, Hanna jumps up to her feet, cutting Emily off mid-sentence and runs out of her living room. Emily is instantly stuck between confused and frightened by Hanna's unexpected, quick movements. She watches her sprint out of sight before she hears a loud clash which prompts her on her feet and running after her.

"Hanna!"

Emily makes her way towards the hallway where she sees Hanna unlock the front door and run outside. Emily's confusion grows to full blown concern by the way she watched her friend run out of her house as if she saw a spider giving birth to one hundred spider eggs.

Or did she actually see a spider giving birth to one hundred spider eggs?

Without time to put on shoes, Emily pushes through the door and closes it behind her before she takes off in sprinting mode in order to catch up.

"Hanna, please! Wait up!"

Emily watches her shirt flag in the wind speed as Hanna runs in only her top with barely visible shorts underneath. This is the first time she's ever seen Hanna run this hard, this fast, for this long. Emily's pace kicks up another notch as she does long strides down the lone street of her neighborhood. The streetlights were now flickering on in the starburst collided sky of purple and orange as the sun starts to set for the Indian summer night.

Within 10-20 seconds, Emily is now side by side with Hanna, trying to make sense of all of this.

"Hanna, what are you doing?!"

"Not being simple anymore!" she shouts back with her eyes trained forward, and arms chopping the air beside her like a true runner. Emily shoots her a wild glance before her barefoot planted down on a sharp and hard pebble, causing her to stop running and hiss out in pain. Unfortunately for her, Hanna kept on, looking like she was heading towards the front of the neighborhood's gated entrance.

After inspecting her foot, Emily took a large inhale and began running again. Internally, she was thankful for all the vigorous fitness she's been put through because if this was done years earlier, she may not have been able to last this long. But how the hell is Hanna lasting this long? She watches Hanna not go to the gate but to the large house perched right by the entrance, also known as the clubhouse; built, paid for, and exclusively only for the residents of the neighborhood for their booking and entertainment needs. Attached to the house was a parking lot and a gate leading the backyard.

As Emily gets closer, Hanna does a small leap onto the medium sized black gate, struggling a bit to get to the top and swing her legs over to the other side. All residents have an electronic key to open gates and doors of the clubhouse but seeing that Hanna didn't have a key and now neither did Emily, she prepares herself to also do a gate-jump just to catch up with Hanna. She couldn't even come up with a reasoning behind Hanna's madness but the only thing plaguing her currently is hoping nobody would call the cops on them for their apparent appearance of trespassing.

Getting over faster than Hanna initially did, Emily drops to the cemented ground from her jump but before she could voice out anything, Hanna comes into sight, grabs a handful of Emily's tank, and runs backwards so that they both fall into the cold, blue waters of the clubhouse's pool. They sink down into the deep end before Emily's reflexes kick in and she swims her way to the top, gasping in her first deep breath of air.

"Shit!" Hanna shrieks when she comes up and realizes how cold the waters are. Visiting Emily's house once before, Emily showed her around and led her to the prized possession that her and every house owner had to pay yearly for. One thing Hanna never forgot was the backyard and how beautiful their pool specifically was. From kiddie to 8ft deep, she knew that one day she'd have to take a swim.

And today was that day.

"Was this your plan?!" Emily slicks her hair back as she bopped up and down, looking at Hanna trying to doggy paddle her way to the safety of shallower waters. "Run out of the house like a madman just to hop in the pool?!"

"Yep. And I think my plan worked perfectly." Hanna answers back nonchalantly as she gets to the border of the pool where the cemented ground was elevated so that she could stay afloat. Emily scoffs with a laugh mocking her before she dives back down and disappears in the water. All Hanna could see is a choppy version Emily swimming closer to her under the surface before she felt hands grab her bare thighs. Before she knew it, her body was lifted out of the water just for her to be thrown backwards over Emily's shoulders with a yell followed by a splash. It's been a first time in a long time that she's been at this pool and it looked like they could use a bit of wet fun.

...

The lights illuminating the pool surrounded by the darkness of the night sky made Emily look like a goddess swimming effortlessly underwater with her black and white tank top with red shorts. Hanna sat at the edge of the pool, kicking her feet in the water as she sat in her soaked clothing. Luckily with the night having no wind, she wasn't cold or shivering. However, while sitting there, she couldn't do anything but stare. A part of her kicked herself for not having her phone to take a picture of this occasion but sometimes – you'll have to live in the moment without anything to show for it later.

Allow your brain to take a mental picture.

Emily's body waves towards Hanna's feet where she emerged out of the water and crossed her arms on the ground.

"Why are you sitting when you can be swimming?"

"Because I'm not a fish like you." Hanna pokes, causing laughter out of Emily. "Besides, that's the deep end and if you didn't notice, I can't swim."

"Then float."

"There is no such thing as floating. I'll sink right to the bottom like an anchor."

"Well if you sink, I'll save you." Emily playfully tugs on a few of Hanna's toes to encourage her into the water. Already near the kiddie end, Hanna carefully slips back into the pool as Emily held her hand. They walk with their feet hitting the pool floor until it disappears under them. Before Hanna could get anxious, Emily leans her onto her back until she began floating. It took a couple of tries in anticipation of Hanna getting completely comfortable but when it came to that moment, Emily leans onto her back as well so they could both float together. Just gradually gliding across the waters.

They both stare up at the night sky where thousands of tiny stars hover above them to twinkle. They lay silently, Hanna still holding onto Emily's hand as they hear the sound of cars driving past the other streets nearby and the light bump of loud music playing from a house or car in the distance. In that silence, thoughts flood into Hanna's mind faster than she ever anticipated.

"I love you, Em." Hanna lets out softly as she keeps her eyes up at the sky. "As a friend, or sister, or lover, or as all three, I'm still not sure."

Emily happily giggles. "My sister lover friend. That actually has a nice ring to it."

"Don't leave me, Emily...I need you to come back home after everything, okay? Don't leave me with this memory."

Emily takes in Hanna words carefully. Not responding straightaway but actually sitting on what she just said. This is why Hanna ran. Why she said she didn't want to be "simple". She rather create a wild instance to talk about in the future. This was going to be their "remember when". A few long seconds pass in between them before Emily speaks.

"This won't be our last memory. I promise."

…..

The dreadful Friday comes much to Emily's dismay, however, most of her checklist was scratched off and completed. She spent personal time with Hanna (with a small goodbye via phone to Caleb), had a 4 hour Skype call with Toby, said her peace with local friends, and now there was only one thing left. Her parents. Everything needed for her deployment was checked, double checked, triple checked, secured, and set by the door so the only thing left for her was to relax until it's time to go. After Hanna flew back out to New York at 6am, her parents came right along a few hours later. From having family outings with Paige to reliving old times, they've done it all today.

Nostalgia seemed to be the reoccurring theme this week.

Now as the clock nears 4pm, Pam and Paige have taken responsibility of cooking dinner early so they are able to eat, spend an hour or so extra, then leave for a hotel so Emily is able to get her rest so when it's time, they all can head out towards the airport. Emily thought it was ridiculous that her parents would pay to sleep somewhere for the night when she has a house with two extra bedrooms but her father insisted. In her last hours, they should be spent with the loved one, he told her. She's made time for everyone else and now it's time to put her focus on the person who matters most.

With the mouthwatering scents from kitchen along with tunes from back in the day, Emily opens her sliding backdoor with two bottles in her grip and closes it behind her as she walks out on her wooded patio she had installed in the backyard. Wayne sits comfortably on a chair, going through his phone when Emily approaches him, places a drink on the table in-between him and her as she takes her seat.

Wayne glances up at her, watching her crack open her bottle before he closes his eyes with a small head shake and chuckle.

"No matter how old you get and how established you are...I never thought I would be having a drink with my daughter."

"I have acquired a taste." Emily smiles as she lightly shakes her Samuel Adams. All her father could do is nod his head as he puts away his phone and grabs his own drink to open. Being close to the fall season, the sun was beginning to set earlier with the weather being stable around the 80°'s still. That southern weather.

The music from inside is muffled but still could be heard from where they sat while they both take their first sip in silence. Millions of thoughts were clouding each other's minds, Emily was sure if it.

"You know...I've been running around doing this paper work, meeting with people, finalizing things...but now? Now it's starting to hit me. This isn't the run of the mill deployment that everyone goes through at least once. I'm going overseas as Special Operations, separate from everyone else. And...I'm pretty freaking scared about it."

Wayne settles back into his chair with a sigh, staring off into the blends of colors above him. Purple fading into pink, pink into orange as the clouds soak up all the colors and wisp around the fireball of a sun, lowering into a bed of fluff. Emily really picked the perfect locale for sunsets.

"The thing is if this was your run of the mill deployment, I'd still give you your well needed advice but I'd also tell you that about less than 5% of the military have actually seen real combat. The movies sell this false idea that if you are going overseas, you're going to be in an intense fight the moment you touch down but what they don't tell you that sometimes you won't even fire off your gun and spend most of your deployment in boredom, wishing someone would cause some trouble. But…..you had to go off and be that 5% who actually lives in combat, didn't you?"

They both share a small chuckle. Although it's a serious topic, at this point of time, Emily could use any kind of humor. Even if it's grim humor, she'll take what she can get.

"We might be in two different MOS', experience our deployments differently; me being the guy who comes up with commands, you being the guy who carries out those demands, one thing will always stay the same…..War." Wayne's voice suddenly fell a notch deeper than usual and it made Emily's ears perk up like a Doberman. She used to hear that voice when things got serious and he had to sit her down for something. So long the idea of a light conversation.

"The environment. The split decisions and actions we must complete. I might not be able to give you advice to do your job because it's well out of my reach, but if there is one thing I can do? I can tell you how to prevent you from being your own worst enemy."

She knew this was coming but didn't know exactly how, however, she knows she needs to hear it. Who better than her own war veteran father? Wayne adjusts himself in his seat, sitting up and forward, placing his bottle on the table as he folded his hands and looked straight into Emily.

"You're going to see some things. Things you never thought in hundreds of lifetimes you'll see. You're going to see death. A lot of it. Innocent locals executed with det-cords, kids-teens ripped to shreds by a chainsaw, a puddle of gore that used to be a person. And every time you come across that, a piece of you will die inside. Some handle it better than others. A few of those guys enjoy the rush a little too much…be careful of those. But overall, some will not. And on that track, you're going to lose people. People you work with, people you just met, best friends; whether by war or suicide, it's going to happen."

Emily eyes drift down to the drink in her hand. She just noticed how she was unconsciously making little rips on the bottle label. This is no news to her. This is what she's been training for. But hearing her father say it, knowing she's leaving in less than 12 hours, it makes everything that much real.

"How were you able to move past that?" she asks without looking up.

"You don't." Wayne twists his lips to the side. "You really don't. But two things allowed me to keep moving: Keeping one with God, just staying in prayers, and my family. You and your mother. I had to come back for you guys. Every time. I had to come back. And that's another thing….Paige..." Emily's eyes raises followed by her brows as she glanced at her father who appeared as if he didn't know how to put his words together properly.

"…It's going to be a little confusing and hard to understand but Paige will move on without you."

Emily's head lifted up in blatant bewilderment as she stopped all movement of her fingers. A little confusing and hard to understand was right because it sounded like her father just implied that Paige was going to leave her. But Wayne picked up on Emily's sense of urgent distress as soon as the words left his mouth and already started waving her down.

"I don't mean she's going to leave you, nonono." he says as if she read Emily's mind all too clearly. "I mean that she will have to keep on living. Those little jobs you did around the house? She's going to be doing them the whole time you're gone. Your mom has done it, you have done it…it's that nobody can be stagnant as life passes just because you're on deployment."

Emily's soul eases back into her body after almost taking flight. The thought of Paige leaving her almost sent her into instant stomach ache and nausea. But she understands how Paige is going to be riding solo for a while. Luckily she's taught her how to tend and maintain a few things earlier this year so she won't be completely helpless.

"When you come home it can be a struggle to find where you fit anymore. It's kind of unsettling that everything has subtlety changed, sometimes." Wayne reaches for this beer just to lean back again. "You're out of date with the rest of the world. You just lost 6 months, a year, or more and new music is popular, people are quoting lines from movies you missed, new fashion is in. You feel a bit displaced from everything like you're the new guy coming into an established group. Even with close friends and family."

Emily starts lightly bouncing her right leg as she shakes her head. "Paige...That girl is heaven sent. Everything we have right now came from her sacrifices that I'm still amazed she did, to be honest. When we were in California, she had all kinds of things lined up. Offers of all kinds." Emily takes a sip of her beer. She hears the faint laughter of her mother from inside the house. It makes her chuckle internally how much fun it seems they're having.

It just filled out her future vision perfectly even more...

"When I got my orders to move out here, I told her that I don't want to be responsible for her missing out on opportunities. Told her we could do long distance and I'll visit on holidays and vacation time. Worst comes to bat...we could separate for a while. Because I didn't want her to come with me and resent me from taking her life away from her in later years because she's young, you know? We're both young." Emily briefly glances up at her father who was nodding his head in agreement before she looked back down at her hands. "So I put those options on the table and what did she do? Packed up her life and never left my side. Sometimes I wonder how she was able to do that."

"It takes a woman with a heart of gold and a will of iron to be with a military member. And the dedication required to be associated with one is damn near impossible to find." Wayne says simply.

"6 years..." Emily mumbled mostly to herself and for a moment, it was silent between them. There was something she's been meaning to ask her dad for a while now but never had the chance for a sit down via phone call or even FaceTime. But now…it seems like the perfect timing with the perfect person.

"How did you know that mom was the one? When was that moment that it clicked where you knew it?"

"When one of my friends asked if they could go after her if we were to break up. From that point I knew we would never leave each other." His own quick answer makes him laugh as he puts the rim of bottle to his lips. "The nerve of him. Ernie Michaels. Who the hell wants a guy named Ernie anyways?" Wayne shakes his head with a light smile, causing Emily to smile back as he takes a long sip. With the old pictures from back in their time, Emily tries to imagine her parents as that couple where people are calling dibs on each other. It's kind of cute.

"But no." He swallows down and crosses his legs, resting the gripped bottle on his lap. "That might not be the moment...although it was a nice motivation." he chuckles once more. "But really it just made sense. Being with her made sense. The idea of a family made sense. The idea of raising a family and still being together 20, 30 years later made. sense. When I sat back and thought of that stuff being young, it was like that's what is supposed to happen. And the thought of her not being there was something I never wanted to experience. I knew she was going to be my rock and ultimately, the mother of my child."

Wayne gives a warming smile to Emily. She returns it and glances down as she taps her foot on the ground, now bouncing her leg.

"Things make sense with Paige. Things...Ideas...the future make sense with her. And it makes sense that this should be the next step." Emily reaches down into her pants pocket and pulls out a small purple velvet box and slides it across the table. Wayne instantly gaps, putting his bottle down as Emily quickly looks towards the window and door to make sure nobody was lurking around.

"Emily..." Wayne admires the box before he pops it open to find the gorgeous diamond ring perched inside like the jewel it was.

"I think I'm ready for the next step."

"Oh, this rock says more than you think." Wayne jerks up his head to glance over at the windows before he leaned in and lowered his voice. "You're going to propose tonight?"

Emily shakes her head with a hand wave. "No. Not yet. I was going to do it for my birthday, believe it or not. Sounds weird but I had this whole speech planned out, talking about how the only thing I want for my birthday to spend the rest of my life with you blah, blah. But now, I'm going to do it when I come back." she looks at dad with a fringe of needed guidance in her eyes. "I just need to know this is the right move."

"Only you know if it's right or not, Emmy." Wayne explains as he still looks over the ring. This week was definitely a barrel of surprises and to hear that Emily wanted to tie the knot soon just made his heart flutter a little bit. "You know in your heart what is what. And if Paige puts you in a cold-sweat just thinking about being without her, then you know. You have my blessing, honey."

Wayne closes the box and slides it back to Emily who then pockets it again.

"Look after her while I'm gone." her face turns down to a slight frown as she makes sure the box is secured. "Everything is new to her and she could really use some direction."

"Don't even worry a strand on your pretty little head. My future daughter-in-law is in good hands."

"Oh. And don't tell mom. I want it to be a surprise for her. Just because."

"Father-Daughter code." Wayne pouts with a certain head nod. "I got it.

...

After about 2 more hours of the family dinner, Pam and Wayne leave for their hotel to give Emily her needed rest until they see her a bit later to send her off. Showering before bed, Emily finishes blow-drying her hair and looks at herself in the mirror for one of the last times. She wondered how she'd look when she comes back. Would her face age and no longer look youthful? Would she look tired? Grow bags under her eyes? She thought about every aspect of her face and how it could be affected. Glancing over to her right where her phone laid, she picked it up and clicked open the camera app. She lifts up her hand and tries to utilize the best angle and lighting she had at the moment and snapshots a selfie. She previewed it for a moment, deeming it okay before she went back for another picture. This time it was a mirror shot. She wanted to also document her current overall look/build before going out there.

A few more minutes pass by before Emily is completely done with her mini self-photoshoot and leaves the bathroom. She swings over to her nightstand, making her phone's ringer was on just in case, plugs it into her charger, and throws herself into her bed where Paige laid on her side. She couldn't even say anything before Emily rolled over and grabbed her, snuggling her face into her neck like a puppy.

"You know, if you sleep now, you'll have seven hours before you have to wake up. I think you should take that deal."

Emily pokes her head up with twisted eyebrows and pursed lips. "I'm going to have more than enough sleep from the flight here to Atlanta, Atlanta to New York, New York to freaking New Delhi, India, then from India to Afghanistan." Emily looks at her with a slick smirk. "More than enough sleep. Right now, I want to spend all the time I can with you. The pulse of my heart. The wind beneath my wings." Emily coos with a bright smile as she reaches for Paige's hand and interlocks their fingers.

"So, what would you rather do until it's time to leave?" Paige holds back her smile that wants to come out as she got close and comfortable against Emily's warm body.

"Well, for starters, we could have this wild, orgasmic night of passion that'll last me about 6 months, seeing it will be the last time I'll have any intimate-like moments for the remainder of 2011 and well into 2012."

"Wild orgasmic, huh?"

"Mhmmm. I hope you haven't been slacking on your endurance runs."

"Why?"

A sly grin slides across Emily's face before she bit her bottom lip, shaking her head. "Because I highly doubt we're stopping at 2 rounds tonight. We're going above and beyond, baby." she raises up their locked hands and kiss the back of Paige's, holding their eye contact, "To the stars."

...

Living up to her wishes, Emily and Paige spend the remaining hours left having the most intense night of love making that they've ever had with each other. And Emily couldn't have asked for more. Round after round they persisted with time seemingly flying by, they both fell asleep in each other's arms until it was finally the moment to get up and face the countdown. Emily followed her routine she did every morning and put on her uniform however this time, it symbolized the next page in her book.

Operation Shadow Hunters.

...

"Alright, this is where you're going to be staying for your tour. I hope you didn't develop any boundary issues with your life as an only child because you have three other guys you're sharing a room with."

Standing next to some kind of advisor and five other new soldiers in front of an open door, Emily pokes her head through to see a shabby dark room resembling a college dorm but without the appeal and definitely without the space.

The set up was simple at best with two black bunk beds whose occupants seemed to have a system going with their personal items and cleanliness. Something Emily was internally grateful for. There was a small walkway towards one of the more further walls with a few boxes stacked on each other to create a stand for a mini TV and gaming console in front of a couple of chairs.

"Bathroom and shower is down the hall. Now, unfortunately for you, we couldn't erect a special bathroom for you with your red carpet appearance. Because of that, you're going to have to grin and bear it with the rest of us, Lieutenant."

Emily could hear the unnecessary snark in this man's voice and she instantly was put on guard because of it. "The only special thing about me is the regiment behind my name, sir. I came here to do a job just like everyone else and I expect nothing less."

"You're damn right." the advisor nods before handing Emily a sheet of paper with a bunch of words typed from front to back. "Briefing is in an hour sharp. Fix your shit and find yourself there." Without waiting, he turns and proceeds down the hall with the rest of his group following him. Emily rolls her eyes and drags herself into the room, straight to the beds. Every bunk was used but an open cot on the bottom. It had no sheets and had yellowish splotches varied in locations as if someone had a pissing problem and kept wetting the bed. And by the faint smell, someone probably did.

Thank God I brought a crapload of sheets, she thinks to herself as she relieves herself from all of her bags. Emily lays out her suitcase on the floor and unzips when she starts rummaging around through her stuff. Digging through a mountain of things, Emily's hands wrapped around a cold, long can and pulled it out from the bottom. Along with clothing and basic needed goods, Paige had packed a small amount of cleaning products that she was sure Emily was going to be appreciative towards once she got there.

Bissell: Pet Stain Remover.

"Didn't get why the hell I needed carpet cleaning things but now...looks like it'll come in handy."

Emily shook up the full, blue can, pressed down on the button, and coated her bed with the white foam as if she was doing graffiti; particularly focusing on those yellow stains. As long as she's staying here, she refuses to lay in an infested bed without her trying to do something about it. Attached to the lid was a scrubber, fortunately for her, and it was time for a little old fashioned elbow grease. She crouched down to the bed and got close to scrub when the smell got more potent and caught her nose. Emily snaps back with a sour face, taking a few seconds to recover.

"Oh, hell no." she rolls up her uniform jacket sleeves and begins her attempt to clean the literal hell out of that mattress. "Not today...not on my watch..."

Emily dedicated a total of 10 minutes of pure strength cleaning by scrubbing every inch of the bed. Fortunately for her sake, the yellow spots faded to pastel as she tried but it seemed like whatever it was soaked pretty well. All she could do was mumble under her breath and place the can back in its place as she squats down to her suitcase. A few more seconds of additional digging and she took out a bundle of sheets, pillows, a cover, Glade carpet powder, and dryer sheets. Emily mentally reminds herself to send a huge virtual kiss to Paige when she can as she opens and lightly sprinkles the white powder on the mattress which immediately gives off the clean linen smell it advertised. She rips open a box of scented dryer sheets as well and lays them out on the bed in different locations before she finished off by putting on her sheets, pillows, and cover to make her bed. Hopefully that will mask the smell while she slept.

"Home, sweet freaking home...wow."

...

Just as suspected, Emily's first rodeo at this deployment was going to be a bit shaky at first. Going to all her briefings and getting a feel for her temporary new lifestyle, she also had to relive what it was like to be a standout from the crowd. Luckily, meeting the three men she was going to be staying with wasn't as bad as she thought. They were pretty laid back except for one of them that refused to talk. Just upon the first meeting of her roommates, two of the men welcomed her while the most acknowledgement she got from the third guy was a glance. As cold as it was, she didn't mind. This job isn't an easy one and as long as he stays out of her way, she'll stay out of his. As for everyone else, the most of the men meshed with Emily just fine. The commanding general on site is massively big on 'team chemistry' and he isn't on board with having anyone treating her differently.

"Football, basketball, hockey, soccer…you need team chemistry in order to win games. When you're on the same page with your team, great things happen. Well, this is a sport too. And that chemistry here is fucking imperative. Because without it…you're going back home in a casket. Do you understand the words I just said?"

However, that little time of meet and greets were over. The day Emily arrived, she went right into work mode. From learning about missions that need to be completed to being assigned her combat gear, Emily was physically ready for anything. As luck would have it, she wasn't thrown in enemy lines right away. There was still some prior things being handled by other specialties that they waited the green light from so until it was time, Emily was doing a lot of preparing.

Days upon days went by with her not even leaving the base and it enabled her to shake the jitters she had when she first arrived there. She was able to get a feel of how to adjust to the lifestyle and for the most part, it was definitely…..unique.

One thing she noticed that is that everyone kept referring someone to a name that she wasn't sure who it belonged to. At first, anyways.

Heading her way outside to find someone, Emily sees a taller, burly man approach another guy who was sitting down, cleaning his glasses.

"Gibson. How many is manning the POVs for district?"

"Oooh. A good truck full of guys."

"Wyler and all of them?"

"Yep."

The man nods his head and moves to start walking forward when he stops himself and looked back in the other fellow's direction. "Is Mulan on board?"

"Yeah, should be." the guy responds, squinting his eyes from the sun as he looks up.

"Hm. Alright." the man finally walks away just as Emily was following his path behind him. The soldier puts on his sunglasses and nods his head at her.

"Lieutenant."

Emily simply nods back as she continues walking. Mulan? Someone seriously has that name?

….

Eating her lunch, Emily sat at decent sized table with the guys from home and a couple of others who seemed like cool people. The vibe of the area was light and easy although the day was busy. Everyone created a small rumble of conversation when the doors of the chow hall opened and in walked Haynes.

"Aye! Mushu!" A few guys yelled out happily in unison, making Haynes shine a bright smile for laughter.

"Why I gotta be Mushu?" he extends his arms out, "Is it because I'm black, you racist motherfuckers?"

"It's because you're Mulan's bitch." one guy points out as he gets up from the table to throw away his trash. "Just following around like a wounded puppy."

"And it's because you're black." another guy says, making the whole table crack up with shameless snickers as they ate.

Haynes waves them off as he stands in line to get a quick snag of one of those ice cream cups before they run out. "Fuck you. Mulan is cool, alright? I'll be Mushu. I'll wear that proudly. Bitch and all."

Emily smiles confusedly as she takes a bite of her carrot. Again that name Mulan comes up. Now her curiosity is piqued because this person seemed to be popular. Even Haynes knows them. Who is Mulan? One of the commanding officers?

…

Emily rubs her eyes as she heads her way towards one of the offices to report to when she approaches an open room. However, the nature of a conversation coming out of there makes her slow down and stop before she gets to the door.

"-you don't want to offend anyone."

"Who? Mulan?"

"Yeah, basically."

Emily cocks her head in confusion. For nearly a week, she's been hearing the name Mulan in several distant conversations. Was Mulan someone's actual surname? Or maybe it was a name given to a guy for some reason since the military loves giving nicknames. Why does everyone know them but her?

"Nah man, naaaaah. Mulan is the dopest, most chillest person in this whole fucking base."

Oh, there's Haynes' voice.

"You would say that Mushu."

"No, but he's right. Mulan is way cooler than I expected." another voice pitches in with him. "Plus she's not of one of those crazy, feminist lesbians so there is no problems there."

"Yeah. She's one of those cool lesbians. You can't really offend her – I mean I never seen her offended by anything yet."

If Emily wasn't holding her weapon, she would have dramatically gasped and put a hand on her chest in true Hollywood fashion.

I'm Mulan? That's me?! My name?!

She stood there baffled for a second before it all made sense to her. Of course they would call her Mulan. Mulan was the only woman who was on front lines and battled in one of the most threatening wars in her time. Through training, she quickly showed her ability to be an impressive soldier and brought honor to her family. Not to mention she's more on ethnic side although she's Filipino and not Chinese. But to these people, they're all the same.

As for Haynes, it's pretty humorous that he got the name Mushu. He can't help it. They've been friends since the moment she's joined the Rangers and they enjoy each other's company. It makes sense that he would be closest to Emily in this new, hostile environment.

But Mulan… Emily pouted her lips with a fascinated head nod. A part of her wanted to dust off her shoulder.

Mulan is a badass. She is a badass.

….

The first day finally came of Emily being sent outside the guarded gates and it was a part of a scouting squad. Not to be confused with the basic patrol ride but to seek out a tip left about the whereabouts of enemy materials. They was told it was going to be a long ride so she and the four other guys came prepared. Two sat in the front, she and another in the back, and one standing in the middle of the truck, operating the overhead gun. Being her first ride out, all she could think about them avoiding IEDs, or roadside explosives, at all costs. She's heard all kinds of horror stories and she didn't want to be one of them. Luckily with this bunch, they made sure to keep things light and fun.

5 Hours in…

"Alright, alright, alright. I got one-I got a hard one." a young, latino soldier grins a devilish beam from ear to ear like the Joker as he scans his eyes around the Humvee. "Fuck, marry, kill…..Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe from Friends."

The truck groans in frustration as the young soldier starts laughing. They've been playing all kinds of games during their run and it's just been a barrel of jokes. Emily really liked being around this crew and was glad she didn't get stuck with hardasses that she's had the displeasure of meeting.

"Here it is: Fuck Phoebe, Marry Rachel, and sentence Monica to death." the truck driver answers through his gruff voice first and proudly at that. Instantly, his response was met with a lot of "What?!" yelled back at him.

"Are you kidding?! You marry Monica! She's a chef! Do you even eat, bro?" a distinct Chicago accent makes their appearance as the gunner yells down into truck while he scans the empty dirt roads with his MK19 in his grip. Through his headset, he was able to hear the conversation inside perfectly. "Marrying Monica is the only correct answer. She's the most adult of the three and actually seems capable of living in the real world. She'd be a nag, but you'd never have to worry about food or a dirty house. So it's marry Monica, fuck Rachel, and kill Phoebe."

"No, no, no – you fuck Monica." the soldier who originally came up with the question, shakes his head disapprovingly. "While it's debatable as to who was hotter in their prime, Rachel has held up better so she's the better candidate for marriage. Then kill Phoebe's ass because she annoys the hell out of me."

"Wait, hold on! Why does everyone want to kill Phoebe?!" the blond soldier operating the service radio and satellites in the passenger seat whips his head at the older driver who looked to be in his mid to late thirties.

"Exactly! You obviously fuck Phoebe, it's clear as day that she's a freak in the sheets." the driver defends back.

"I would fuck Monica and marry Phoebe. Rachel would have to die so I could have her 45% Ralph Lauren discount." the passenger laughs, making the others chuckle at the idiocy. "Phoebe is fun, easy-going and just the right amount of crazy. You gotta marry her because she'll keep you on your toes."

"Alright!" the latino waves everyone to tally up the responses. "So Burkett says fuck Phoebe, marry Rachel, and kill Monica."

"The only right answer here." the driver says, conceitedly.

"Losey is fuck Monica, marry Phoebe, and kill Rachel."

"Yep." the radio passenger nods.

"Wyler is fuck Rachel, marry Monica, and kill Phoebe." he points to the solider standing in the middle. "And I say fuck Monica, marry Rachel, and kill Phoebe."

"What say you, Fields?" Burkett calls out to Emily who has been sitting there laughing along but has yet to add her input among the chatter.

"Uhmm…" Emily scrunches up her face in thought with the only noise being made is the hum of the Humvee as everyone waits. "Well…I'd say fuck Monica."

Losey and Romero, the latin solider, shout out in victory with Emily so far agreeing what they've been saying.

"I dunno – I couldn't marry her because she is to neurotic and controlling for me. I would marry Rachel though and then just…kill off Phoebe."

Romeo laughs with his tongue out as he leans over and gives a hard high five to Emily while the others just shake their heads. "You heard that? The queen has spoken. Fuck Monica, marry Rachel, and kill Phoebe. That's how it's supposed to be."

"Well, my bladder has spoken as well." Wyler jiggles out one of his legs after standing for five hours. "I gotta piss."

Burkett, however, shakes his head, glancing in one of his rear view mirrors as he thought he saw something on the ground. Turned out to be an old grey hat. "Nope. Not stopping."

"Why not?" Emily and Romero both ask at the same time like two restless kids on a road trip. Losey in the front starts to silently chuckle to himself because he and everyone knows what's the alternative to not stopping is.

"We stop, we lose time. And being on time is late so no stops. You better piss in that bottle if you have to go that bad."

"Alright," Wyler groans from above and a few moments later he bends his knees slightly as his body faces both Emily and Romero. "Somebody unzip me."

Emily diverts her eyes outside the Humvee, watching nothing but dirt pass them as she doesn't move a muscle. The truck once again gets silent as Wyler stands there waiting to be helped. Finally, Emily slowly moves her eyes towards Romero, who was already staring at her.

"FUCK no. That's the biggest fuck no I've ever said in my life."

"Why I gotta do it?!" he whines at Emily's strong notion of not volunteering with the ugly job that one of them has to do. "You don't even like penises so it's easier for you!"

Emily's eyes widen before she turns in her seat to fully face her crewmember. "I'm am NOT-

"Unless you want me to turn into R. Kelly in this bitch and start spraying," Wyler cuts in before the bickering goes any further. "Someone needs to man or woman up and do the duties you are meant to do to protect your country….and taking out my dick is one of them." he wiggles his knees impatiently, "C'mon! I have to go!"

"Rock, paper, scissors."

"NO."

Romero side-eyes Emily for a long moment before he reaches down for the 2/3rds filled Gatorade bottle that already has been used to relieve because of the no stopping rule. He uncaps it and gives Emily one more look before he reaches for the front of Wyler's uniform.

"Don't be scared, Romero. I ain't gonna face-fuck you…..Not until after our second date."

Burkett couldn't help himself and bursts out in loud laughter as Emily and Losey start giggling at Romero's unfortunate expense.

….

7 Hours in….

After riding through dirt back roads for most of their journey, the truck finally starts to approach some civilization. They were going at a much slower speed than before now that there were locals around. Emily looks through her side window and sees just a handful of people walking past, some standing around as they stared at the vehicle.

Prior to leaving, they've all been told about a previous unit having an accident and how a couple kids got run over and hurt basically trying to catch snacks being thrown to them since it was something the soldiers did often. So their new standard of procedure was to not give out anything whatsoever in order to keep the kids from grouping around the vehicles as they'd roll through their towns.

As Emily is skimming the road and the people surrounding, she spots this adorable little Afghan girl nearly hiding behind a man's long shirt as she stared at them with her big green eyes. Emily guessed her to be around four or five. She knew they weren't supposed to give them anything but she couldn't still her beating heart. She reaches down beside her into her bag and pulled out a sealed, fat chocolate chip muffin. She knew she wasn't going to miss it because of her lack of a mood for it so she nudged Wyler's leg, telling him to toss it to her. She thought she was going to get pushback from the men, she actually expected it, but no one said anything and Wyler obliged.

Throwing it with sniper precision, the muffin landed right into the hands of the man. Wyler motioned it to the little girl where then the man then crouched down and gave it to her. The girl brightened at least 3 shades and ran off while the man smiled and gave them an appreciated head bow. Emily waved back from the window as if he could see her and darted her eyes back to the girl who ran up to a group of kids, showing off her new treat. In the midst of show and tell, an older boy around 11 or 12 walked up to her and did a violent two-handed shove to blow the girl half his size onto her back on the hard ground, taking the muffin from her.

Romero jerked forward as if he was about to fight someone as the whole Humvee watched the little girl burst into loud wailing as she sat there on dirt muffin-less while the man with her ran to her aide.

"That fucking terrorist little shit." Losey gritted his teeth in aggravation.

As they started getting closer to the spot the boy moved to, he shamelessly turned to them, tearing into the food with his mouth full and started waving for them to throw him something else.

Wyler also obliged.

He reached his hand down and grabbed the half full Gatorade bottle from Romero and threw it at the kid to help wash down the stolen muffin. A few of the other kids tried to take the bottle from him but he ran off and spun off the cap as greedily as he was.

Everyone in the truck eagerly watched the boy tilt his head back and take a gulp of the piss before he started choking and dropped both the muffin and bottle onto the ground. One local in his late teens to early 20's started clapping and laughing tauntingly at the small bully as the entire truck inside started exclaiming in celebration, two of them flipping the kid off from the window. Emily merely chuckled to herself watching it all go down.

Good for him.

…

7.5 Hours in. Sweeping.

The time had come for the part of the duty where Emily and Romero had to exit the Humvee and stroll a more desolate area with other units. For it being mid-day, there didn't seem to be a lot of people in this small area which was expected of them. A few days ago, one of the units got a tip from a local about whereabouts of materials the Taliban are planning to use for another ambush. This was equivalent to a police station getting an anonymous message as a lead in their current crime case. The location however was in a dangerous area so, taking all precautions, they made sure they had extra backup, just in case it was a fluke. Sometimes the civilians do want to help the military drive out the bad guys as much as they do.

Emily and eight other men walk this ghost down cautiously as one of them lead with coordinates. While in the Humvee, Emily was able to block out the mission with some friendly conversation but now, everything is real.

She's in enemy territory.

Scaling through the back of the small housing area where the grass and trees were, Emily follows the guys in front of her, keeping her assault rifle up and ready for anything until she and two another guys were told to clear ground of the close by building just to make sure they are truly alone. Romero nudged Emily before he left to jog off with others while she and the two soldiers she never met followed orders.

It was a nice sunny day with a breeze that she enjoyed. Although very quiet, the scenery of the abandon town wasn't so bad nor destroyed as she thought it would be. Glancing around every two seconds while she stood in the middle, they come to the entrance of a structure.

"Let's watch each other's back, baby. Watch each other's back." the guy in front of the small line calls over his shoulder.

"I got you." she tells him as Emily guards him from behind.

"And I got you. We're ready." says the last solider at the end, protecting Emily.

The three carefully enter, clearing out every hall and every room to make sure nobody was hiding out. One building became two, then two tuned three. So far, it appeared to be safe. No sign of anyone as they now walked the road paths.

Suddenly, over radio, one of the guy got word to meet them at a specific area within walking distance. He turns around to inform–

The air splits right by the second guy's ear just as a bullet just barely misses him.

"FUCK!" he yells out as all three of them now run to take cover in separate areas. Emily's heart starts racing and breathing gets heavier as she hides behind an abandoned van. She didn't have time to process what just happened when round after round starts being fired from a direction she couldn't necessarily pinpoint where.

"WHERE IS IT COMING FROM?!" the first guy yells out over his random gunfire behind a wall.

"I DON'T KNOW!" the second guy responds as he is behind a car as well. With the shots being fired, the echo made it extremely difficult to identify. Emily pops her head up just enough to get a view through the outside of a dirty passenger window.

"WE'RE CAUGHT IN FIRE! RIGHT ACROSS FROM BUILDING #4 WITH THE FLAG! WE NEED REINOFRMENTS!"

Emily scans her eyes at a rapid speed through every square foot until she finally locks with a person perched on an open window in a distant building. She was too far to see the detail of the guy's face but she saw what seemed to be him reloading.

She had an instant thought to slide up to the hood of the van and take a shot but comparing locations, it would make her visible compared to her hidden spot. Changing ideas, Emily frantically scrambled down a feet to find a rock of a thick size. Finding one as big as her palm, she took a deep breath and thrusted her right elbow into the passenger window to break it. She moved her arm from side to side to clear a way then hurled the rock with force through the driver's side window to open a space.

Emily picks up her weapon and leans into the window with her gun pressed into her shoulder as she lines up her aim at the head. Her heartbeat was now throbbing inside her ears.

Deep breath in….

Deep breathe out…

Steady….

Emily pulls back the trigger and shoots out a string of five back to back rounds. The shooter gets struck several times and goes limp over his gun, pushing it out the window straight onto the outside ground beneath him as he laid over the banister. The area goes silent with a few birds chirping overhead.

"SHOOTER IS DOWN! I REPEAT: SHOOTER IS DOWN!"

Emily holds her position, blinking a number of times as she lets out a shaky breath. She waits a few seconds before her mind snaps back in place and she pulls out of the window, moving to the front of the van.

"Lieutenant Fields, was that you?!" Emily hears a voice call out but doesn't know who it belonged to. She swallows down hard. For some reason her throat got awfully dry.

"Yeah..." her answer comes out as a croak before she coughed and replied again much stronger. "Yeah! I think I got him!"

Emily keeps her weapon up as she starts walking back out into view where the other guys came out of their hiding spots as well. They hear some kind of yell farther out and turned to see their reinforcements running to assess the scene. All three instantly started walking towards the other soldiers making their way back, armed and ready, when they were reaching the building the shooter was aiming from.

"Jesus fuck…" one of the reinforcement react to the head and an arm dressed out the window. It was a clear headshot from where they could see. Emily and her guys ultimately get to the site when she glances up and sucks in a vast amount of air in a disturbed gasp.

"That was kid?!" one of the soldiers comment aloud in just as much astonishment, staggering back. "Holy fucking shit…"

Blood collecting from the open wound pools on the window banister and drips off the building as the puddle keeps growing in size. With such a small head, it only took one high speed bullet to cause a rupture let alone the several hits he took. Emily steps back, nearly tripping because of the sudden heaviness of the equipment on her body.

"Woah, woah. You good, Fields?" a hand catches Emily's back as she can't take her eyes off the dead body. She wanted to but she couldn't. She couldn't physically change sights.

Her first ever kill was a child.

…..

Showered and cleaned up to turn it in for the night, Emily's room was empty with everyone mingling during the last hour and a half before lights out.

Emily stands in front of her bunk, arms crossed, staring at the egg white wall it's pushed against in pure silence. She chews aimlessly on her bottom lip. Motionless. A few seconds pass by and she slowly bows down onto her knees and places her folded hands on the mattress. Her dog tags hang from her neck, moving with her chest with every breath she took.

She stands back up, shaking her head in uncertainty. Her eyes move from the wall to the navy blue sheets covering her bed.

She doesn't blink.

She bends down onto her knees again. Folded hands on top of her mattress.

She exhales a sigh.

Stands back up.

Knock, knock.

Emily's head snaps to the door which Haynes slowly opens, poking his head inside with his eyes tightly shut.

"Warning. Warning. Black male coming in. Black male coming in. Is he safe to enter?"

"…Uh…yeah. Yeah come…" Emily's voice weakly trails off as she awkwardly moves her hands to the top of her wild bun then sliding it to the back. Haynes opens his eyes and sees Emily's nervy appearance as her body kept swaying around and her eyes stuck to the titled floor. He steps in wearing basic attire of a grey tank and blue sweats rolled up his calves, closing the door behind him. He takes a few steps until he's standing beside her, looking at her withdrawn face.

"How you holding up, Em?" he ask with a small voice. He's heard about her adventure outside and made it a task of his to check up on her after she showers before bed. Everyone was pretty stoked about the news of her first bad guy takedown but the excitement left when more details came out.

Emily points to her bed without having even looked in Haynes' way since he entered the room. "I've been trying to…..get down….and….." her hand reaches up and cover her mouth with a few fingers as she tries to find the words to talk. Ever since her shot, she's been feeling a sense of numbness. This was the first time she actually spoke more than five words and it was getting difficult to articulate herself.

She clears her throat.

"I've been trying to get down and have a moment to myself but….I'm…I'm having trouble."

Haynes points to the bed. "You're trying to sleep?"

"No, just…just trying to–"

"Pray?"

"Yeah." Emily nods her head. Haynes notices how she had just blinked for the first time since he's been looking at her. "You know, Paige, I….I tried to call her earlier but the line wasn't working and I had to hang up. I called again but it wouldn't- It wouldn't go through."

"Damn. I'm sorry…"

"So now I'm just trying to get down and….do this but I-I don't know how to. How to start it."

Haynes twists his lips and walks past her, moving from her right to her left side, and gets down on his knees by her bed. He folds his hands on top of her navy blue sheets and looks up at her.

He motions with his head for her to join him.

She sluggishly bends down to her knees besides him and mirrors his motion. Folded hands on top of the navy blue sheets.

"It's just like talking to your dad or your friends." Hayne's softly tells her. "That's how I do it anyway. You don't need an opening statement, a thesis, three bodies of supporting ideas, then a conclusion to summarize everything up. It's just you talking. Saying whatever is on your mind. If you need to tell him about your day, by all means do it. He loves you and is there to listen whenever you need an ear."

"But I killed a kid, Dominic." Emily tightens her brows and hisses out in a harsh whisper before she turns to look at him. His shoulder slumped subtly as his heart instantly tore from the seams seeing Emily's state. He's never seen her so broken down before. It was almost surreal. "I can't hide from that. I knew I would have to get blood on my hands the moment I signed up for this but that was a child. I can't just casually bring it up like it's nothing."

"Emily. He's not a stranger you have to explain yourself to." he reaches for her and place his index finger on her black shirt, to the right of her chest while he kept direct eye. "He's right. here. He knows your heart. He knows your intentions and he knows you are just doing what you have to do to protect people. He also knows this is bothering you and he's there waiting for you to come to him. Sure, God isn't a fan of brutality but he's forgiving. That's the best part apart about him. He's merciful and he forgives because he loves us that much…..Try it."

Emily turns her head to face forward and breathes out. "Okay..." she closes her eyes.

"You ready?"

"Yeah….I'm ready."

Haynes observes over Emily's face one last time before he bows his head and closes his eyes, getting ready to lead them both into prayer.

…

3 Months Later….

Sent on another mission, coincidentally, Emily was able to be working with the same guys she had on her first mission. Although it was months ago and they've only worked twice more after that, it was good to be around people she genuinely liked. They made her laugh and has made work more bearable. The side effects of her first kill took it's time to pass, with a few nightmares she would have here and there, but when it came back to work, her head was still in the game.

It wasn't some innocent child, Emily would tell herself. It was a kid soldier and his sole intent was to kill me and my guys. He would not be grieving over my death so I shouldn't be grieving over his.

Today's job is set up to be a lot more hands on, which is something she's been getting into lately. Sensitive site exploitation. Their job is to collect information based on location for them to later analyze to conduct rapid follow-on operations. This time, there were two trucks on the move and they were tagging behind one also filled with soldiers.

As they prepare and make way to their destination, Emily's Humvee does what they do best.

Talk.

"Let me tell you. Freddie? He brought a 2 terabyte sized thumb drive with him here." Losey, the blond radio operator in his late twenties starts informing the rest of the truck of new information they might like as he chews on some sunflower seeds. "Filled with nothing but porn, movies, shows, comics, all of it."

The truck murmurs with surprise and big eyes as Romero speaks up for clarification.

"Comic books? How he got comic books? What kinds?"

"He downloaded them like a PDF. Got all kind of graphic novels. Even the newer Walking Dead issues."

Emily's interest was piqued immediately upon this discovery as well. She's seen the same movies on her drive too many times. "What shows does he have? Does he have Parks & Rec? I missed the last season."

"Yeah, I think he got that too. Pretty sure I saw that on there."

"Okay, who gives a flying fuck about shows and comics?" Wyler rolls his eyes, "What kind of porn does he got? That's the real question here." Everyone laughs at Wyler's frank questioning, even Emily. She's gotten used to his way of operating. He's like the comic relief with no filter to her.

"All kinds, man! All kinds. Whatever you into. He basically got all of Pornhub on that thing. HD videos, may I add. None of that blurry, 320p shit." Losey spits the shells of the sunflower seeds into his empty water bottle and starts shaking the bag to stuff another handful in his mouth.

"Like, he has that 2 terabyte, right? Then he brought like a bunch of smaller sized thumb drives. What he does is he sells them to you; whoever wants to buy. He sells it for shit like MREs, game tokens, stuff like that. Once you buy them, you check out his library, pick out what you want, then he copies it onto your drive. Just like that. And it's smart because you know the shoppette never has shit in there so people just buy from him."

"What if you have your own hard drive?" Burkett asks, glancing at Losey for a moment before he puts his eyes on the road. "He still does that?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just give him something in exchange and you're good. He gave Erikson access just by him giving him one of his Ray Bans."

"Wow, that's nice….He's nice." Emily raises her brows and looks towards Romero who shares her same sentiment. Already in her mind she was thinking of things that could be used as bargaining. She untwists her blue Powerade bottle and moves her helmet a bit to gain access to her mouth. There's a lot of things she would like to get her hands on in that library of this 'Freddie'.

Losey spits a few shells into his bottle. "He is, man. I mean you could kiss him, he's so nice."

"Shit, where is his room located because I might have to check it out because his credentials sounds pretty nice, right about now." Wyler does a small jig with his hips as he sticks his tongue out. Although nobody can see his face, Romero starts laughing too and starts patting his leg.

"Somebody is about to be saying hello to Mia Malkova toni–"

A forceful blast knocks the sentence right out of his mouth as an explosion the truck flips onto its side, smashing Emily's bottle into her face and crushing her against the door. Everything goes completely black as her hearing seemed to have vanished and was replaced by a high pitched ringing. Smoke and dirt gets everywhere inside the Humvee. Emily inhales all the smog but the dirt mixed with her drink created thick soot all over her face and down her throat. She violently begins hacking but wasn't able to hear herself. She felt her body cough but couldn't hear it.

Emily tries to move but finds herself pinned inside her seatbelt by some kind of equipment that fell on her. In her attempts to move and free herself, she was greeted by a sharp pain in her side that made her collapse back into her seat. She opens her mouth and feels her throat muscles vibrate so she knows she's yelling out for anyone who can hear her.

"I'm stuck! I can't move! I can't move!"

She lets out a harsh round of coughing before she starts her attempt of yelling again.

"I can't hear anything! Lieutenant Fields down! Lieutenant Fields down!"

A bit long, I know. But I promise everything will make sense.

There has been quite a handful of things that has occurred in the past 3 months. But as of now?

Shit has hit the fan.

Please, leave your thoughts in reviews and tell me what's on your mind. What do you think so far? Do not hesitate to just ramble. Absolutely no review is too long for me. Your words are food to my stomach.

Curious about anything else Sinner's Lullaby? On my page there is a link to a google drive folder. Inside it has a few promo edits I've put together for your visual needs. Check it out and tell me what you think of it, if you can. I put the best things together for you guys!

Until the last installment of the prologue…