Hey my comets! I hope you liked the last chapter, cause I spent a while working on it. I'm super sorry that this is such a short chapter(the ones on weekdays probably will be). I will try to post new chapters every day at around 4:00 or so, but don't expect me to keep to that schedule. I will not be posting on sundays unless the computer allows me on (tech troubles ya know?) Anyways, post some questions to Dipper about his new life as a monster hybrid in the comments and they'll answer.

Dipper awoke to a throbbing pain in his legs and head, so powerful it made his head spin. He sat up slowly to find Ford and Stan hanging around some tech that was going beep while Soos was hovering over Wendy who was in a heap on the floor by the wall with blood coming out of her nose and ears.

"Wendy!" Dipper cried out as he tried to get to her, but as soon as he got up, he fell back down. A painful sensation went up and down his legs, causing Dipper to turn around to see what was going on. Chestnut brown legs were splayed out from what appeared to be the bottom half of a fawn that seemed to be attached to Dipper's torso. He let out a whimper in surprise as he felt something fuzzy brush against his neck. Dipper yanked on it to feel a sharp pain in his ears, or where his ears should be. Turning to his left, he found his sister lying on the ground looking fine except for being asleep. Dipper tried to stand up, but fell down again with a loud thump, alerting the others to his awakening.

"Dipper! You're awake, how are you feeling?" Ford asked as he walked over to the child.

"I feel strange, but what's going on with Mabel? Is she okay?" Dipper asked as he crawled to his sister who was beginning to stir.

"Your sister is fine, better off than you from the look of it. She began to turn into a mermaid but as soon as she dried off she became human again. It appears she is capable of morphing back into a human state when she isn't touching water and back into a mermaid when she is. You however seem to be stuck in that form." Ford replied as he went back to the scanning equipment. Soos walked over to Dipper and touched his ears.

"Hey! What gives?" Dipper exclaimed as his ears flattened against his neck.

"Sorry dude, but those are really cute ears. And so fluffy too!" Soos replied as he got a look at the new and not so improved Dipper. "Hey what are you, some kind of cervitaur or somethin?"

Dipper looked at the handyman quizzically and asked, "What's a cervitaur? Is that an insult?"

Soos laughed, "Nah dude, A cervitaur is like a centaur with the lower part of a deer instead of a horse one. Dude, they've got wicked awesome skills like strength and speed, and apparently you can do some kind of super loud noise thing!" He was obviously more excited about Dipper's new form than Dipper was himself. He pushed himself up onto his new stick-like legs and hobbled over to Wendy, falling over several times.

"What happened to her?" Dipper asked quietly as he looked at the face of the girl he still held feelings for despite everything.

Soos shuddered, "Ford said that when you screamed, Wendy was close to you and hambone and her eardrums burst, it's not cool dude." Dipper looked in shock at Soos, then back at Wendy with sorrowful eyes.

"What's going on?" A voice said from behind him and Soos. Dipper turned around to see Mabel sitting up with a wince, and ran straight to her.

"Mabel! I'm so glad you're okay! Are you okay?" Dipper rambled as he fell flat on his face, ears perked up in joy.

"Yeah I'm fine, but what happened to you? You look like some Deer/Dipper hybrid!" Mabel stroked his fluffy brown ears with glee.

Dipper shied away from her hands, "Cut that out, it feels weird."

Mabel shrugged, "Okay Deerper."

"Never call me that again." Dipper said as he gave her a hug, got up and fell down again for the tenth time, and stumbled to where Wendy was lying. He noticed that her ears were still bleeding so he said, "Soos, grab some cotton balls and elevate her head, then stuff the balls in her ears to stop the bleeding."

"You got it dude." Soos replied as he went to get the fluffy spheres. Dipper held Wendy's head up until Soos returned with a bag of cotton balls, then left the handyman to his work. Dipper got up, slowly, and staggered to where his great uncles were looking at scanning equipment.

"So what's going on with us Great Uncle Ford?" Dipper asked as he tripped and grabbed the edge of the table to keep from falling again.

Ford turned around to see him and frowned, "We don't know, why don't you tell us what happened before you passed out and maybe that could help."

Dipper frowned, "After that fog thing happened, a path in the forest seemed to glow and pull me towards it. Mabel followed and we ended up at a silver river, with human Bill hiding nearby; he was saying that he lead us there and we fell into the river. We crawled out onto a bank and passed out, I woke up later at the gift shop door to see Bill walking away. I carried Mabel in and fell down, then that's all I can remember." He shuddered at Bill's smile as he watched them float away. Ford and Stan looked at eachother then looked back at Dipper and Mabel who had come up to them.

"Well, I guess we have to fight that wise-guy Bill again, so I suppose we'll be in town for a bit longer." Stan remarked as he ruffled Dipper's hair, then noticed and grabbed his ears. "What is this, did your hair grow long or something?"

"Why does everyone keep doing that?!" Dipper exclaimed as he pulled back his ears.

Mabel shrugged and as if remembering something, exclaimed, "GAH! I just remembered. Dipper, something was talking in the forest, it said that you were going to disappear soon!" At this, Dipper visibly paled and his deer legs began to shake. Suddenly, he fell down again, legs splayed, tail down, and face on the floor.

"I hate these things." He remarked into the floorboards as his family looked down at the hilarious sight and broke down in laughter.

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Bill looked into the fire on his hands to see the Pines laughing at a fallen Dipper, and smiled; Pine Tree was amusing to watch as he floundered with his new form. If he was this fun in the wild, it would be even more enjoyable to hunt him down and catch the prize. With a flick of his wrist, he extinguished the blue flames and walked a bit, allowing him to see the Mystery Shack.

Soon, he thought, soon I will be able to start Weirdmaggedon again. And this time, there no Pines will stand, or stagger around in Pine Tree's case, in my way. With that, he turned and walked back into the woods along a golden path passing a stone hand that lay on the ground, lying by the bank of a deep, silver river.

Sooooo, this seems to be heading nowhere good! Bill is waiting for something to start Weirdmaggedon, but what? And the hand? Did he break out of that shell or something? Hope you guys liked this! Ask questions to Dipper about how annoying being a cervitaur is and he will answer.

Remember-reality-is-an-illusion-the-universe-is-a-hologram-buy-gold-bye!