It was strange having people to go back to. As I walked along the corridor after changing into my robes I thought maybe I'd imagined it, and when I got back I would be a stranger to them again, or that I would never be able to find the compartment, having imagined the whole thing. When I drew up outside their room I peered in through the window. They were sitting pretty much as they had been when I'd left, only now they wore similar black robes.
"I don't know why I've never spoken to her before. I feel pretty bad." I heard Remus say. I moved back so they couldn't see me. Maybe I should've felt bad for eavesdropping, but after five years it was like an old habit.
"You heard her, she keeps to herself. It's her problem no one spoke to her." Sirius replied.
"Yeah well, not anymore. She's one of us now."
"Jeez, Moony," James laughed. "'One of us.' You make it sound like we're a cult or something."
"Ha ha," Remus said drily. "She's in Gryffindor though, right? At least we could make an effort. Like at lunch and in classes. It doesn't seem right that she's on her own all the time."
"I know. Merlin, five years. It's about time she had someone to sit with." Sirius said. "Alright, I'm fine to hang out with her sometimes."
"Really?" Peter piped up. "She could be a nutter for all we know."
"That's what's so great about it." I could practically hear Sirius's grin.
There was a brief pause and then Remus said, "I never realised before, but she's quite pretty, isn't she?"
"Hmm, she's okay, I suppose."
"James, you have to say that." Sirius said.
"Lily isn't even here." He pointed out.
"That's not the point."
"Guys, this is serious!" Remus cried. "I think I'm gunna ask her out."
"Dude, you just met her."
"So?"
At that point a Ravenclaw second year tore passed, his hand raised to his mouth as he hollered like an Indian. I figured the guys would've looked towards the source of the noise so I moved forward and pulled the door open. That way if they did see me, they'd think I was just coming back from the bathroom.
"Hey," Remus smiled up at me and shuffled to the left so I would have a place to sit. I looked down, pretending not to notice, and sat opposite him, next to James instead. I peered up slowly, watching through my hair, and saw his smile had gone.
"You took your time." Sirius said.
I smiled weakly and nodded. "What we're you t-talking about?" I figured if I asked, they'd assume completely I didn't know.
"Quidditch," James answered coolly. It was probably the first thing that came to his head. "Yeah, um, I need a beater, but Sirius doesn't wanna do it this year." James narrowed his eyes at Sirius jokingly.
"Well thank you for respecting my decision," Sirius smirked. They talked about Quidditch a little bit more and my mind started to wander. I never had been interested in Quidditch, or any sport for that matter. I pulled a compass from my pocket and started scratching at the wall. I thought about a poem I used to read as a child, about three people in a flying shoe, and imagined I was among them. I got lost in thoughts of flying through pink clouds at sun set and peering down at the country and town as the world revolved below me. I often did that – imagined I was somewhere else, somewhere far away and free, and as long as I didn't try too hard it was like I could actually see everything. That particular time, day dream grew sour and ended with the other three pushing me out of the shoe. The forest below shot up and the dark earth rose to catch me, and just before I landed Remus saved me by asking if I played Quidditch.
I shook my head without looking away from the wall. "Not for a few years."
"What are you writing there?" Sirius asked, leaning forward for a better look. I looked up at him, surprised at the question. I moved my hand away so they could see the words 'Juniper Stephens was here, in a roo-'. "In a roo?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"A room full of strangers." I finished, blushing gently.
"Why are you writing that?" James asked, purely curious.
I looked from him back to the words scratched into the wall. I thought I'd done it to mark the occasion – this was hardly an everyday occurrence for me – but I couldn't tell them that. "Um… just s-something to do while you were t-talking, I suppose."
"Oh," James's face fell and he glanced at Remus. "Sorry, we weren't really including you, were we?"
"Oh, no, not at all," I smiled. "I mean, you just m-met me, I don't expect you to." He didn't look convinced. "It's fine, rr-eally. I haven't been included for most of my life, I'm u-used to it." I reverted back to writing on the wall, and had finished the sentence before anyone said anything. I looked up again, and realised I didn't know what to say. It seemed strange, the way they were being so quiet and avoiding looking at me, as though it was a big deal. It wasn't a big deal to me, I'd really meant that I was used to it. I thought I'd say something nice, just to break the silence, but I couldn't really think of anything nice, so I just said what I was thinking. "Plus I think… this is the last t-time you'll be strangers to me. I wanted to say g-goodbye to the strangerbeingness."
"That's not a word," Remus commented.
"So I made it up." I replied firmly.
Sirius broke the tension after just a few seconds. "Your name's short for Juniper?" I nodded and he smiled. "Nice."
"Hey, Juniper-"
I cut James off quickly with, "June, please."
"Oh, sorry. I just thought cause you wrote it like that… anyway, do you wanna sit with us for the feast too?"
"Really?" I looked around at the others. Peter nodded and Remus and Sirius smiled warmly. "Thank you." I smiled back.
"And, you know, if you want," he ruffled up his hair. "You can come down to the Hogsmeade with us on the weekend."
I lowered my eyes slightly and blushed again. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
James opened his mouth to answer, but didn't know what to say. He looked to Peter, who shrugged, and then Remus answered for all of them, "Because it's about time someone did."
"Oh," I looked down at my hands in my lap as I twiddled my thumbs. Already I was starting to feel attached to them. I wanted to sit with them at dinner, and in the common room and go to Hogsmeade with them, but I something was holding me back. "Thanks but… I really can't."
"Sure you can," Peter smiled.
"Yeah, why not?" James asked
"Because what if it didn't work out?" Remus asked rhetorically, his eyes fixed on me. "What if something bad happened and we fell out and you ended up alone again?"
"No," I scowled. "I never got my dad to sign the permission slip. I may not be allowed to go to Hogsmeade." I lied. I was angry with him – but only because he was right.
"Oh, sorry." He looked away.
"Don't worry," James grinned at me and winked. "I'm sure we can find a way around that."
I didn't know what he was talking about, but I soon would. Pretty soon I'd be completely wrapped up in all their secrets. After about another half an hour the train pulled into the station. We all got separated in the heaving throng of students in the corridor, and as I jumped out onto the platform I looked around for the no-longer-strangers. It was weird, having someone to look for, and I wondered how long it would take to get used to the feeling. And I couldn't help thinking back to what Remus said, about what happens if we fall out. Then, I thought it would be easy to sink back into my old ways. But after only a week or two and I would find it hard to even remember what it was like to be all alone.