First of all I want to thank each and every one who read, alerted, took their time to write a review. I appreciate it! I also have to thank my beta for her fantastic work! And now meet Mr Lane...

Chapter 2 – A decent proposal

What a trinity, Elsie thought when she watched Mr Lane, Mr Carson and Mr Bates who seemed deeply lost in their conversation.

They're probably talking about his Lordship's latest trousers, she mused silently and did her best to avoid the sight of Mr Lane[;] but she didn't have to worry. With his salt and pepper hair and his distinguished appearance he still was an incredible handsome man who received attention from every female downstairs. Even Ivy and Daisy were stealing secret glances at him and deep down, Elsie felt a spark of pride swelling in her. Pride that was rooted in the same area deep down where her guilt over their secret relationship was born. She didn't know how many women Lane had known during the past decade, but having him so close by, forced her to remember the time they had spent together, and it caused a familiar excited tingling all over her spine.

It was a different sensation from the one she felt for Mr Carson. Charles Carson was the man who could poke her fire with one stupid, posh remark. He could drive her mad with fury and desire with one of his disapproving looks. It was the kind of anger she could never feel for Mr Lane, because nothing he did could hurt her that much.

They were so different and yet so similar.

She heard Mr Carson laugh about something and smiled. He was so happy to have his friend back. Someone he understood and who was his age. Someone he didn't have to train or scold at least once a day. Was she the one who had taken Edward Lane away from him? Did he leave Downton because of her? Probably, and she hated herself for it.

"I'm sorry, Mr Carson," Alfred, the footman, had come downstairs. "His Lordship needs to talk to you. It sounded urgent."

"I see," Carson said and rose from his chair. "Please, excuse me. I'll be back soon."

Carson left and as time passed, the servants' hall emptied. Yet, Elsie stayed, though she feared it was a mistake.

As Mr Bates and Anna left to get back to their cottage, Mrs Patmore, Elsie and Lane were left alone. Mr Carson hadn't returned yet and when Mrs Patmore started yawning, Elsie said. "My, my... must be something big happening upstairs, otherwise Mr Carson would have returned by now."

"Never mind," Mr Lane said in his gentle manner. "I can get in touch with him again tomorrow. I'll be leaving as well."

"I bid you good night then," Mrs Patmore said and rose. "And don't forget to say good bye, before you leave, Mr. Lane. It was good to see you again."

"It was my pleasure, Mrs Patmore. Good night."

"I'll walk you to the door," Elsie said loud enough so that Mrs Patmore could hear it on her way out. The last thing she needed, aside from Mr Carson becoming suspicious about them, was Mrs Patmore getting suspicious.

"Alone, at last," Edward whispered with a smile after Mrs Patmore had switched off the lights in the kitchen.

She had feared and anticipated the moment when she would have him to herself for the first time in over a year and apparently he felt the same. He circled the large table and gallantly took her hand when she rose from her chair.

"My, my...," she said with a smile, "You've made quite an impression tonight. We don't have the valet of the King here in Downton very often."

He chuckled lowly. "Former valet and the only one I hope to impress is you," he admitted. "I've missed you, Elsie."

She looked at him with unmistakable amusement in her eyes. "I doubt you've had a lot of time to miss anyone."

"Oh I had time enough and you were worth it. Every second it it," he answered suavely and placed her hand on his arm. "I'm glad you're all right. I couldn't have borne it if you had been ill."

"I wish you wouldn't say that," she felt blood rushing into her cheeks, but she squeezed his arm nevertheless.

"Since when are you avoiding the truth?" he asked in return. They slowly went down the hallway towards the back door.

"I'm not avoiding it. I'm just trying to remember that things have changed."

"Did they change? Sometimes I wonder...[,]" he said pensively. "How can you stand it, Elsie? Still being here? Working side by side with him?"

"With Mr Carson?" she asked, but it was a rhetorical question. She knew perfectly well that he was talking about the tall, strong butler. The man who had owned her heart for such a long time now, which hadn't kept her from becoming close to his best friend.

"Who else?"

"I guess I got used to it...," she answered. She had learnt to live with Carson and her unrequited love for him a long time ago. It would be a part of her until she drew her last breath.

He stopped and turned to her him. "Don't lie to me... you can lie to everyone, including yourself, but not to me."

"I'm not lying," Elsie sighed. "But that's the way it is."

He scoffed, but his eyes were soft. "So, that means nothing has changed... you're still not tired of waiting for him?"

"I'm not waiting for anyone or anything," she argued with a shrug. "I'm just living my life. And it's a good life. I don't have any regrets."

"I hope that statement involves me as well." He drew a deep breath, before he spoke again. "Listen, I didn't come back to check up on this place. To be honest, I don't even miss it and I won't miss Buckingham Palace or any other palace now that I'm retired... I enjoyed my work, but this part of my life is over and I want to make some changes..."

Elsie had a feeling where this was leading and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it. Yet there was this tingle in her stomach, the silly feeling of temptation that always came along when he was close to her and so she encouraged him to continue, "What kind of changes?"

"Why don't you come with me?" he asked and took her hand in his. He ran his hand over her ring finger and said, "Marry me. Become my wife. You may not love me the way I love you... but we understand each other. We can have a better life together. I've saved some money... my father left me his house when he died. I can offer you the life you deserve."

To say she was shell shocked by his proposal was a major understatement. She had expected him to ask her to meet him in the village... to spend the night with him... but certainly not a proposal of marriage.

He smiled when he saw the shock written all over her face and when she opened her mouth to speak, he just placed a finger on her lips and said, "Don't answer me now. Take your time... but, please, think about it. We've known each other for so long now why shouldn't we spend the rest of our lives together?"

To underline the seriousness of his proposal he leaned in and kissed her. It was a tender, almost shy kiss that she couldn't help but to return which led him to deepen the kiss and before she knew it, his arms had wrapped around her and she melted into his embrace.

"Good night, Elsie. I'll talk to you soon," he said huskily when they parted and vanished through the back door. And then she stood there in the loneliness of the hallway and didn't know what to think or do. Her body was trembling and she touched her lips with shaking fingers. She had never considered marrying him, not even when they were... together... not when she had gone to London to meet him last year. He wasn't the man to marry, just as she wasn't the woman to be married. They had this strange relationship that was based on physical needs and loneliness, but not on love. At least that was what she had thought. But he had just admitted he loved her... she felt dizzy and confused. Her brain simply refused to process what just had happened...

Pull yourself together, she scolded herself and grabbed her keys to lock the back door. It was time to go call it a night, though she doubted she would find any sleep. Not after this.

Then she heard them. Those slow, yet characteristically heavy steps she would recognize anywhere and which followed her in her dreams.

She had prayed it wouldn't happen, had begged to God and the saints he would never have to learn about this, but apparently God and the saints hadn't been listening to her. Or they had decided that she had it coming and should finally face her sins for that they were.

She pulled the heavy key out of the lock and turned. Carson stood there next to the door of his pantry and she figured he had probably been in there after he had returned from upstairs. It would be an illusion to think he hadn't heard anything. The expression on his face spoke volumes, but it was mostly the pain she read in his eyes that made her stomach turn and twist with fear.

"Mr Carson...," she started and made a step forward, but he withdrew and she stopped breathing for a moment. He was pulling away, as if she was having an infectious disease and that broke her heart. She had always known she would never have him, but now she was losing the small part she had felt blessed to call her own. His friendship.

"Please..."

"Don't," was all he said, his hand raised, as if he wanted to make sure she stayed away from him. "Just don't."

Then he turned on his heels and she closed her eyes so that she wouldn't have to watch him as he walked away from her.

~~tbc~~