All Characters belong to Cassie, just the plot belongs to me.
Fear, plain and simple fear is all I can feel right now walking back from Ana's school. Simon calling and telling me that he has seen and spoken to the three people I never thought I would hear from again is making me scared. I know the fear is irrational, he only said he ran into them. It is not like he is bringing them back here to New York.
They cannot come back here. I promised to make sure that they would leave. I did my part. I did it so well that all three of them think I am the most horrible person on the planet. I promised to make them leave, however, I never promised to keep them away. No, no, no, I cannot think like that. If they ever come back I will lose everything.
"Calm down Clary" I whisper to myself. Great now I am talking to myself, this must be a sure sign that I am officially going crazy. I just have to distract myself. Time to get stuff done, such as go shopping for food, buy Ana those new shoes she been begging for and oh yeah, sleep. Man I miss sleep. However, since today is my first day off in almost a week, I really need to catch a few extra hours of sleep before Ana gets out of school.
Once I finally get home and the groceries are put away I decide to lie down. I set an alarm so don't sleep past Ana getting out of school. I am pretty sure I will toss and turn for the next few hours, but hey it is worth a shot if I can get a little sleep.
I wake up with a start and look around my room. "Where am I?" I say out loud. Hold on, I know this room; it is the one I grew up in. Oh no, not this dream again. I look around frantic, how am I going to wake myself up? Once this dream starts, it seems to always run its course before letting me out. Sadly this is a memory disguised as a dream or really a nightmare.
Next thing I know I am running for the bathroom so I can heave my guts out. Now throwing up in real life sucks, but in this dream it seems to go on for hours. Once I can sit up straight again, I look towards the door. I know what is coming next, as on cue there is a soft knock on the door and I hear my brother ask "Clare-bear, you okay in there?"
"Fine" is all I can manage to squeak out. I never figured out if it was the weakness in my voice or just me being sick that causes him to come in without being invited. "Clary baby, what's wrong? You look so scared and pale." I try to smile at him, but I know I look pathetic.
"I'm fine Jon, really." I try to reassure him. "Nope, don't believe you. Why don't you try again with a little more effort" he responds. That is when I lose it. I turn into this crying mess, which if you knew me, it would scare you. "Clare-bear, please tell me what is wrong, because now you are scaring me" Jon says as he kneels down and pulls me into his arms. I hiccup once and then try to control my breathing before I speak.
"Jon, I um… I am" that is all I can get out before the crying starts again. I guess because I was throwing up and crying that he figured out my problem. This is when he starts to shake. I pull my head back to see my brother red faced and full of fury. "I am going to kill Jace!" he says between gritted teeth. "No Jon!" I manage to get out.
"What do you mean NO?! He got you into this position. Well, I guess you both had a hand in it, but you are my baby sister and he will suffer for this." Jon is still shaking but at least he unclenched his jaw. This is when I swallow and say, "No Jon, Jace had nothing to do with this." I guess that was the last thing he expected to hear. "What do you mean?"
This is my chance to start telling the story I created in my head for everyone. "Jace is not the father." I put my head down in shame. Jon stares and me asks me to repeat that. After I do he just looks at me and says "Right Clary, you may be able to lie to everyone else on the planet, but not to me." Damn I know he is right, but I just look down. There is no way I can tell him the real truth, he would never allow me to go through with it.
"Clary, the truth or I go to Jace and kill him. Your choice." After a minute of deciding, I tell start to tell him the truth.
Beep, beep, beep is all I hear when I look at Jon. What is that sound? The next thing I know I am awake in my normal bed. Oh thank God is all I can think. I really did not want to relieve the next part of that dream. I look over at the clock. It is time to get up to get Ana from school. Yep, time to go be momma.