The Mud-pie Eater
Won't you stop and remember me
At any convenient time
- Simon & Garfunkel
Oh boy. I took a deep breath, staring into the mirror. Let's be honest. You've got long legs, I told myself, doing like they said in all those love-yourself, the-woman-is-a-goddess, get-good-energy books that Renee was reading. Be positive. Get good karma. Fair enough, I had long legs.
But that didn't really help much as long as they were whiter than my bedsheets. And lanky. Like a schoolboy's, the devil on my left shoulder added. I stared into the newly polished mirror in front of me. I looked like Cruella de Ville's dying cousin.
"No way," I muttered angrily, flipping down the zipper of the black dress I wore. This just wasn't going to work. Jessica was just going to have to take it back, awesome expensive gift or not. Go ahead, be offended. I wasn't going to wear it.
The doorbell rang. My red faced reflection stamped off to open.
"Hey, you ready?" Jessica beamed, barging in like she owned the place. She usually did that. "Sorry we're late. Wow, I have great taste, you look awesome."
I ignored her last comment, and waved hello to Angela who was waiting politely in the hallway. She gave me a subtle thumbs up. I groaned and stamped back into my bedroom.
"I should help you dress more often," Jessica stated, chewing vigorously on a gum as she followed. She reached out and zipped my dress back up. "There you go."
"I'm not wearing it," I sulked.
"Yes, you are," she argued, smacking my hand away as I tried to zip it back down. Yikes.
"It's too short."
"It's perfect."
I sighed. I knew I was only stalling. It was time to get this over with.
"Edward!" I yelled as I marched back to the hallway. Angela and Jessica exchanged grins. "I'm going out, you take care of the house. There's food in the kitchen!"
The living room was dead silent, but I knew he'd heard me. He was just too busy being full of himself.
"Do you really think it's safe to have that vampire roaming your house all night?" Jessica teased, and peaked into the living room trying to get a glimpse of him.
"Don't worry," I shrugged. "He'll probably just go poking in my underwear drawer like he normally does. He loves my underwear drawer. Okay, so are we leaving?"
The two girls buzzed out, and I picked up my purse, fumbling for my house keys. When Jessica didn't see, I popped into my room and grabbed my favorite cardigan. It was cardigan or death.
Since I moved here two months ago, I had been out only once. Out, like, on a club. And, big surprise, I hated it. Too crowded, too loud, too stuffy, too noisy, too … big. I had smiled, shook hands with people, yelled a bit into their ears, and then I'd gone home.
I did have some friends, believe it or not. Not from university, not yet, but from high school. Actually, it was only one friend. Angela. Jessica was a friend of Angela. But Jessica wasn't picky, so every friend of Angela was a friend of hers too. And for me, she was half of the whole. Fifty percent of a not very brag-able circle of acquaintances.
So here we were, Miss Outgoing, Miss KindandSweet and Miss ShyandSour (that's me), sitting in Jessica's car and going out. Like, out. On a club. Dancing. Drinking. People. Me. Shy'nSour. I stuffed the tattered cardigan tighter around me.
After parking the car at Jessica's place, we began walking down the street. Angela gave me an encouraging smile, which I appreciated. She knew this really wasn't my thing. And true, when we reached our destination, I was seriously considering to run back the same way we came – lets face it, I had sneakers, I could outrun them any day...
"Oh, come on, it will be fun!" Jessica insisted, dragging me by the arm inside under the collection of blinking signs.
We squeezed our way through the crammed room – I got stepped on twice by other pointy heels - before we miraculously found a free booth. Jessica disappeared to get us drinks, leaving Angela and me to observe our surroundings with wide eyes.
"Wow," Angela finally said. "This could be interesting."
Her eyes lingered a little by the people grinding together on the dance floor. It was a disturbing sight.
"You don't say," I mumbled.
We watched them for a few seconds. Our eyes met. Angela giggled. The next second, we both broke into silent laughter. Jessica appeared then, placing three scary looking drinks in front of us. Our laughter came to a sudden halt.
"What is that?" I asked, sniffing it.
She replied, casually, and it was called something kind of dirty which made me wonder how she had the guts to order three of it.
It was pretty bad. Not the drink, the drink was fine. But the rest was pretty much as expected, dreaded and anticipated. The music was too loud, and there was a whole crowd of hollering guys who tried to get our attention. We deliberately ignored them. Also, Jessica wanted me to lose the cardigan.
"Bella, it's not that cold."
"Yes."
"Come on, it's messing up your whole shape!"
"I don't have a shape."
"You do, it makes you look like Twiggy."
"Twiggy was blonde."
Jessica gave up. I had won the battle, but that was all: I would bet my whole paycheck Jessica was going to intentionally spill a beer on my cardigan sometime during the evening.
We had perhaps been there for a bit less than an hour, and to my surprise, we had a good time talking. Or, I would have if I hadn't missed half of what they were saying. Also, watching the grinding dance floor turned out to be quite entertaining.
"Is she trying to eat him?"
"You tell me."
"Maybe we should call 911."
"I'm sure he would be happy if we did."
"Eww, look at that guy right there. I think he lost his jeans."
"Yikes."
"Now he got a heel in the eye. That looks bad."
"No, it was his own finger."
Jessica set off to get us something more to drink, but I stopped her, feeling courageous (and slightly obliged as she had already paid once).
"I can get this one," I said.
And so, pulling the ridiculously short dress down, I sneaked my way over to the bar in the middle of the room. I managed to get there without facing any obstacles, which was quite an accomplishment considering the massive amount of hollering people in my way. Feeling proud, I managed to shout to the bartender what I wanted – Rum and Coke seemed safe and decent.
While standing there, I couldn't help notice someone staring at me from the other side of the room. It was a guy, sitting in a group together with some other people (not the hollering ones), and he was looking at me intently, frowning, wrinkling his forehead as if in concentration. I pulled at the dress again, wrapping the cardigan more tightly around me.
There was something about him though. I don't know exactly what it was, but it made my stomach prickle. I sneaked another glance at him from the corner of my eye. He was tanned, dark haired, and somwhow there was something horribly familiar about him. My stomach prickled again. Somewhere inside, a small part of me was thrilled that he was looking my way.
I started to question my own need for attention.
"Here you go," someone said, and I noticed the three glasses already waiting in front of me at the bar.
"Thanks," I said.
As I tried to pick up all three at once, the guy in the corner of my eye stood up. Oh no, he was coming here. I picked up the three glasses spilling half the content on the floor and hurried towards the safe harbor that was our booth, while wondering why I had left it in the first place. Finally, I reached the table and quickly sat down
"Great!" Jessica grinned. "Did you already drink half of yours?"
She pointed at my severely spilled drink.
"Tripped," I explained.
"Oh," she smiled.
"Excuse me?" someone said behind me. The voice was deep and husky. I didn't have to turn to know who that was. He had followed me. "Do you mind if I join you?"
I turned, for a second wondering if he would have gone away if I hadn't. As I looked at him, something inside made me sit up straight and put my feet together under the table. His hair was black, short and shiny, his skin had a tanned reddish color and was enviously flawless. His eyes were dark, deep over tall cheek bones. I felt my self-esteem shrink at rapid speed. He was undoubtedly very handsome. Too handsome.
He was eyeing me curiously, his dark eyes squinting as they swept over my face. Again I got that feeling of someone, somewhere, far away I couldn't quite place. It reminded me of the way Edward used to look at me when I suspected he was trying to read my mind.
Jessica giggled, stuffing her boobs up. "Not at all, take a seat."
He smiled at her, before sending me another curious look. Jessica and Angela scooted to the side of the booth making me follow, and he sat down beside me. My brain turned numb as I could feel it slip into small talk hiatus. Fantastic. Just what I needed.
He turned to me again. "Uhm. I know this sounds weird, but I feel like I've met you before," he said. His voice was hoarse, but pleasantly so. His expression was both thoughtful and apologetic, and he was squinting his eyes as if trying to think back while at the same time apologising for how it might sound.
Jessica raised one eyebrow. She looked back and forth between the two of us, analysing. I knew exactly what she was thinking.
"You know that's the worst pick up line ever, right?" I reminded him, even though there was something about him giving me the same feeling. Where had I seen him before? There was something horribly familiar, something I knew I should know but couldn't put my finger on.
He laughed. "No, seriously. I've seen you before. I'm Jake," he reached his hand out to me, and I shook it. Before I was able to reply, Angela and Jessica had sent each other a loaded look.
"Cig break," they said simultaneously, popping up from their chairs like trolls in a box. "See you later, Bella."
I rolled my eyes. That wasn't a cig break, it was an oh my god break. As soon as they left though, Jake clapped his hands once in triumph.
"Bella!" he exclaimed, laughing. "Of course, Bella! I can't believe it. I knew there was something."
I stared at him.
"You're Bella Swan, right?" he grinned. "Charlie's kid?"
I raised my eyebrows. "You know Charlie?"
He laughed. "I can't believe it," he said again, grinning widely and showing off some pearly white teeth. He leaned forward in the sofa, one arm resting on the table.
"I'm Jacob Black, d'you remember me? Billy Black's son?"
It took me a second. "I thought you said your name was Jake … Hey wait." Something clicked in my brain. "Jacob? You're Jacob? Little, annoying mud-pie Jacob?"
He beamed. "Yep."
Oh my. "Wow," I slipped out, before mashing my teeth together and cursing my stupid mouth. Thankfully, Jacob seemed oblivious to this fatal comment on his looks.
"I know," he grinned. "This is weird, huh? You know, Charlie has about every school photo of you ever made in his living room. I knew I'd seen you before, I just couldn't place you at first!"
Guilt crushed through my stomach at his second mention of Charlie. I hadn't been in Forks for years. But it made sense, that Jacob would recognize me from photos. No wonder I couldn't place him immediately. It wasn't like mom had many photos of Jacob. I guess Charlie might have some, but I had never gone through his photo albums or anything. We weren't quite there, Charlie and I.
I sneaked a glance over at Jacob, and realized I wanted him to like me. This was Jacob – annoying, little, mud-pie Jacob – but he was different. He was older.
He was gorgeous.
I wanted to make a good impression. Suddenly, the roles were reversed. I felt dizzy. The small talk hiatus was still on.
"You cut your hair," I blurted out. Clever. But true. The Jacob I knew had chin long hair and swimming trunks with spider-man on them.
He only grinned. "Yeah. Ages ago. It's more convenient."
His eyes were studying me, black and twinkling in the shadow under his eyebrows, and my pulse increased. I opened my mouth to say something smart, or just say anything really, but then gave up and gulped down the rest of my drink instead.
"You don't come here often, do you," he stated, leaning his weight on his arm and never taking his eyes off me. "At places like this, I mean." I looked at him, the words still stuck. "Me neither," he said, as if I had just confirmed his statement. He looked around, waving his hand towards the dancing (did I say dancing? I meant grinding) crowd. "This isn't really my thing."
Now that was something I was familiar with. Things not being quite my thing was my specialty. I sighed.
"Tell me about it," I mumbled. I lifted my glass to have another sip, but realized it was empty.
"Do you want a beer?" he asked, standing up. It took me a second.
"Erm, sure. I mean … I don't know." I looked up at him, looked over to the grinding crowd, and then back at him. I smiled. "Since we're already having so much fun."
Jacob flashed me a brilliant smile, showing off some enviously white teeth, and then he was already gone before I'd even offered to pay.
To my great surprise, I did have fun. Jacob was great company. We sipped our beers and exchanged a tirade of sarcastic and brutally honest comments about our current location. Then he started telling me about home.
"I grew up with my dad," he told me. "Rachel and Rebecca moved away when they finished high school. Rebecca married a surfer from Hawaii, Rachel graduated early and now she works for a law firm. So it's been me and dad, and Charlie. He's been coming over about every weekend since I was, like, five. He talks about you," he smiled.
I smiled back guiltily, my stomach lurching with the strange feeling of homesickness. But that couldn't be it either, because Forks had never been home. I didn't understand.
"Yeah, I remember when I came visiting. We used to play by the beach and stuff."
"Yeah..." His smile widened, and he sent me a sideways glance. "You thought I was a pain in the ass."
"No, I didn't," I lied. "That's wrong, you just don't remember."
He grinned, catching my lie immediately. "You just wanted to sit alone with your books but I kept badgering you all the time."
I squinted my eyes, pretending to think back. "I really don't remember," I insisted.
"You liked making mud-pies though," he added, ignoring my feeble attempt to lie.
"Yeah, I remember those," I admitted.
He nodded, resting his hand on his neck and looking at me again. It felt like he was making up for the years of not seeing me. "Dad always got a fit every time we came home, we looked like we'd rolled around in it. Or maybe that was just me..."
"Yep. I'm quite sure that was just you." I smiled back at him as he laughed. It took a moment before I realized I was laughing too, really laughing, startling myself by the sound. I hadn't laughed like that in months.
"So, what are you doing here?" I asked him, finally managing to ask a coherent question.
He raised his eyebrows, taking a sip from his beer. "I'm actually here in a bachelor party. Not mine," he hurried to add, and I thought I could see a faint redness in his cheeks. His blush pleased me for some reason.
"Well," I said slowly. "I don't want to keep you from your friends."
That was a lie. I very much wanted to keep him from his friends.
"You're not," he said quickly. His readiness to answer pleased me too. "It's just some guys from work. I don't really know him that well. I'd much rather stay here and talk to you."
I smiled into my beer. I didn't put it down until my smile had become more decent. "Okay. But what I really meant to ask you was what are you doing here, in town. Do you go to school?"
"Oh," he smiled as he realized his mistake. "No, I work as a mechanic in a small garage not far from here. I needed a job, and a friend had a friend who worked there and, you know. Besides, it's not that far from home."
There it was again. Home. Forks. I tried to shake off the creepy feeling.
"Six hours on a bus is quite a while," I challenged. Not that I had tried. It was mom who had mailed me the timetables.
He looked astonished. "Six hours? You know you could drive there in four? Three and a half if you push it?"
"Oh," I realized. "You have a car. Of course. You're a mechanic now. Why shouldn't you."
I considered banging my head on the table. Jacob laughed at my expression.
"Yes. I have a car. I'm guessing you don't."
I shook my head. "What type of car is it?"
"It's an old Rabbit. 1986."
"Oh," I nodded. "Cool."
He measured my expression again. Clearly I didn't fool him. "It's a Volkswagen," he clarified kindly.
I nodded sheepishly. He was still studying me, so I added. "Okay, I have heard of that."
He smirked and drank his beer.
"So, what about you?" he asked as he put it down, leaning on his elbows, looking at me again. "What are you doing here?"
"Do you mean here drinking or here in town?"
He smiled. "Both."
I shrugged. "Well. I'm here drinking because my friends, who normally aren't this rude, think this is actually fun, and- "
"Do you mean the two girls who ran in the other direction as soon as I sat down?" he interrupted.
"Yep."
"Okay." He nodded for me to continue.
"-and I'm here in town to go to school," I finished.
"What are you studying?"
"Literature. It's fine. I like it. It's a nice city." The words escaped my mouth on autopilot, like I had rehearsed them.
Jacob looked at me for a long moment. I felt a bit like a beetle under a microscope. "Do you say that often?" he finally asked.
I felt my cheeks burn. He'd hit a nerve. "It happens," I admitted.
He nodded to himself, smiling kindly. I was smiling back without even realizing it.
Jessica and Angela reappeared then, after what had been a suspiciously long cigarette break considering neither of them were smoking. They sent me conspiratorial looks when they thought Jacob didn't see.
"So you two know each other?" Jessica asked suspiciously, after they had shaken hands and introduced themselves.
"We used to make mud-pies," I shrugged.
"No," Jacob corrected. "You used to throw mud pies at me and make me eat them. I've seen the photos. It's not pretty."
Honestly, I wasn't surprised.
Half an hour later, I was leaning back in my seat while sneaking glances at Jacob sitting on the sofa beside me. I had already been sneaking glances at him for quite a while, watching as he talked to Angela and politely answered Jessica's inquiries. The surroundings, the voices and the music, had turned to a blurry comfortable haze, thumping away and buzzing as if on the outside of an invisible bubble. It might have had something to do with the alcohol, but not only that. I realized I was having fun. Not because of the grinding catastrophe or the embarrassing drinks, but because it just felt really nice sitting here sneaking glances at my new old friend without him knowing it. At least I hoped he didn't.
I marveled at how easy it was to talk to him. We had talked, about everything it seemed, in the past hour. We had talked about cars – he had found my lack of knowledge on the subject a true tragedy – about this town, about the old lady I rented my apartment from, about his dad, my life in Phoenix, the absurdity of high heels and about his work. The words had just flowed out of my mouth, effortlessly. I don't think I had talked this much to anyone since I came here apart from with mom on the phone, but that didn't count. And now, watching him laugh beside me I realized it was because he was so effortless. I smiled. His whole appearance was so unrestrained and happy, it made me smile just looking at him. For me, that was impossible not to admire.
I listened to their talk from my bubble. The thumping, the colors, the voices. It was almost... unreal. Me, here, today, bumping into him, like that, now. The childhood friend I didn't even knew I missed. Needed. It was almost like... something already decided, like faith, or... not just a coincidence. I smiled to myself, but then shook my head a little as I became aware of what I was thinking. Me, Bella, fantasizing about faith? Pfft. Okay. No more drinks for me.
"Bella?" Jacob repeated beside me. I snapped back to the noise and the chatter.
"Hm?"
"Should I get one for you too?"
He looked at me while pointing at his beer, questioning, and I looked back, and I melted. I could almost feel my knees starting to drip down into a puddle under the table. I wondered what he would think if I actually fainted, right here and now, just slid down from the sofa in a heap on the floor. He would realize I was crazy, that's for sure. Jacob Black, my new old friend, smiled at me, warm, genuine, and the haze returned. I shivered, smiled back, nodded and had to resist a sudden urge to throw myself in his direction.
"Sure. Thanks."
When this very scenario had repeated itself one more time, I had reached the conclusion that really, there was no doubt that Jacob and I had met by means of Destiny. I had also consulted Jessica, who knew these things, when she had dragged me with her to the ladies room, and so it was now generally accepted that that was the way it was.
"You're so much fun when you're drunk," she informed me, and I wholeheartedly agreed with her. Most of the time I was pretty boring.
"You okay?" Jacob asked in a low voice after Jessica and I had emerged from our bathroom conspiracy. He leaned in closer, his voice quiet, and he looked at me in a way that made me want to pinch my arm.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I assured him. "Why?"
He shook his head. "Just checking. You're cheeks are a little red, that's all."
I raised an eyebrow. "Well it is kind of warm in here."
You're kind of warm. I pinched my thigh. Listen to yourself, I told me.
Jacob only nodded in agreement, smiling. My knees shivered under the table.
It got late, and then it got very late. When the last bus had left hours ago, the dancing (grinding!) crowd was getting thinner as most of them had gone home to grind in private and Jessica was considering taking a short nap in the booth, Angela decided enough was enough and that it was time to head home. I had been scooting closer to Jacob by the minute (gravity!) and had reached the conclusion that Jacob was the absolute funniest person on earth and by far the most wonderful human being I had ever met. On a mission to oblige Destiny, my new best friend, I was now trying to accidentally make my hand bump into his like any other kindergarten girl. Fortunately I hadn't succeeded yet.
Jacob was telling me about the apartment he was currently renting while we watched, amused, as Angela tried to coax Jessica into her jacket.
"It's not so bad now. But you should have seen it when I first got it; it was a dump. But I don't mind. It's cheap," he said, but then looked like he regretted saying anything at all. I frowned from my bubble.
"Come on, Jessica," Angela's voice interrupted. "Yes, you will need it, it's cold outside."
Jacob turned to me. "Are you leaving too?"
"Yes." I answered without thinking.
He nodded. "Look, if you are leaving, I'm out of here too. I'm just going to tell the guys. But I'll meet you outside, okay? I want to say goodbye."
With another quick smile he stood up, walking towards the group of guys across the room that turned out to be his long lost bachelor party.
I sent his back a longing look.
"Bella." Angela's voice came floating into my brain.
"Hm?" I turned to her.
She was looking at me with a knowing expression. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"What do you mean?" I asked her innocently.
She raised one eyebrow.
I shrugged. "Oh, come on, it's only Jacob! We're friends!"
She raised the other eyebrow.
"Childhood friends! Kindergarten!" I squeaked.
If Angela could have another pair of eyebrows, she would have lifted those too. "I doesn't exactly look like that is what you – No Jessica, wait, you need to put it on..."
Angela got up to rescue Jessica from herself, and I followed. On my way across the room, I could hear the devil on my right shoulder rubbing her hands together.
It's childhood friend Jacob! I told her. Mud-pies!
You don't want this to end, she said knowingly.
It was true. I didn't. She sniggered.
Jacob caught up with us by the front door. He held the door open for me as we went outside, and lightly touched my shoulder with one hand as I passed. Just a friendly gesture. Electricity jolted down my spine. I managed to keep the shivering to a minimum.
When we where outside, I turned to Angela. "You know, I think I'm just going to take a taxi back home."
She squinted her eyes at me. "You sure?"
I nodded. "Really. I'm fine." I lowered my voice so that Jacob wouldn't hear. "I just want to say goodbye, that's all."
She looked at me for a few seconds. Then she nodded. "Okay."
"Will you be okay, getting her home?" I asked quietly, nodding towards Jessica. Jessica, the non smoker, had just crossed the street on her way to buy cigarettes at the closed bookstore opposite us. Angela rolled her eyes. "We'll be fine, we can almost see her apartment from here." She lowered her voice. "You sure you won't come?"
"No, I'll just take a taxi," I assured her, smiling, letting her see I meant it and that I was fine. She nodded. Apparently I passed the test.
"Call me tomorrow," she whispered. We hugged goodbye, and then she ran off to catch Jessica. I kept an eye on them for a few seconds as they reached the street where Jessica lived, and then I turned back to Jacob. My new old friend.
He was waiting by the entrance, his hands stuffed in his pockets and looking completely at ease.
"So, are you going home?" he asked, when I reached him.
"Yeah, I'm just gonna find a taxi." I looked out on the road, stretching my neck to check if I could spot one. Please don't be there, please don't come yet... "How about you?"
He shrugged. "Yeah, guess so..." There was something hesitant in his tone, that made me look in his direction. He was studying his shoes. I must have imagined it.
"Look," he started. "I'm really glad I bumped into you tonight. That was weird, huh?"
"Yeah. Weird. It was nice to see you, too." I said it so quickly the words got all blurred up.
"If you're leaving now, I – err, it would be cool to hang out some time," he said, a nervous smile on his face. "But not here, maybe?" He gestured back to the blinking signs over the place we had just left.
I nodded, my smile way too relieved. "Yeah. Definitely. We'll hang out. Some other place sounds good."
"Or..." he started, looking down again. I squinted, trying to get him into focus. "I mean," he continued, "err … if you want we could just go somewhere … erm … like, now, and just talk. If you want." His eyes followed his shoe as it poked at a hole in the pavement. Then he drew a long line with his toe, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, eyes down. "I mean," he said, a red color tinting his cheeks. "I think I have some coffee at home, or whatever. Maybe, if you ... I mean, it was just really nice meeting you again, so I thought it could be nice to just …" He took a deep breath. "I mean, what do you think?"
"Sure," I said simply, though he had never gotten around to actually ask a coherent question. I got the point though. Coffee or whatever sounded nice. Talk sounded nice. Jacob sounded nice. This all sounded nice. I didn't need to get a taxi right away did I? It wasn't that late? People probably did this all the time. No biggie.
"Oh. Great," he said. I looked up from his shoe, which had now stopped poking at the pavement. He looked really relieved. Then he sent me a warm smile, and nodded his head towards the bus stop. "It's this way."
As we waited for the bus I tried to remember if this was a bad idea or not. I vaguely knew I was supposed to think so, I just couldn't come up with any good arguments as to why that was. Hadn't I read somewhere that girls never should spent the night until the third date? Or was it the fifth date? Equaled drinking coffee spending the night? Or maybe it was the tenth date. Technically, this hadn't been a date at all. And I could just take a taxi.
I looked over at Jacob. He turned to me almost immediately, as if he'd been looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He smiled a very boyish smile, nervous perhaps, but just as warm and wide and bright as ever. As I looked at him, the same warm feeling as before filled my stomach. This was no stranger. This was Jacob. I didn't mind Jacob. I knew Jacob. We had just rediscovered our childhood friendship.
The bus came rattling along. Jacob put a warm hand around mine, smiled – still with that nervous look upon his face – and pulled me with him onto the bus. Oh well. We're only going to talk, I thought. Drink some coffee, show me his stamps collection...
The bus was crammed, so we had to stand in the middle. The engine roared up again, and I closed my eyes. I felt dizzy. My head was spinning and I squeezed my eyes more shut. Random words started twirling around inside my head, words like Jacob and mud-pies and destiny ...
"You okay?"
His voice was much closer than I had expected. I opened my eyes. Jacob had leaned down beside me, looking at me, his forehead wrinkling up in concern.
I nodded. "Yeah."
I smiled, and he seemed to relax a little. Apparently what he saw seemed convincing. He smiled back. Still nervous. I wondered if I looked as nervous as he did.
The bus, which I'd decided long ago I didn't like, took a sharp turn and made me stumble over. In fear of tripping over some old and fragile lady and mash her like a potato, I grabbed hold of the closest thing I could find. A bit too late, I realized it was the collar of Jacob's jacket. I made way to loosen my grip, but he only laughed and helped me back on my feet. He left his hand around my waist.
Outside it was dark, and I wondered where we were. The bus stopped again, and someone squeezed their way out behind me. Jacob's arm tightened against my waist. I clenched my eyes shut again. The bus started driving. Jacob smelled like aftershave. From spider-man trunks to aftershave. This was weird. It felt like I had missed a whole life. The world twirled behind my eyelids.
"This is us," he finally said, and I pulled back to look around. The bus was slowing down again, and I realized we were supposed to leave it. I was glad, though I knew it wasn't the bus' fault that I felt as if I'd just left a nasty roller coaster.
As my sneakers made contact with the pavement, I stumbled. Of course. I would have fallen too, if Jacob hadn't been right behind me to catch my arm and prevent me from going head first down the gutter. The last two beers might have been a bad idea.
"Hey," he said, when both feet were in place below me and the bus had rattled past us. "Are you sure you're okay?" He looked more worried now, as if realizing I might not be as clear minded as he thought I was. Just drinking coffee. Just looking at stamps.
Not looking at stamps at all.
He tilted my head up to look me in the eyes. I had prepared a shrug and a laugh and a long explanation about my horrible coordination, but it all got stuck in my throat. He looked at me, and I looked back, and I feverishly wondered why I'd stopped following Charlie to La Push all those years ago. Jacob got a curious look in his eyes, as if for a moment unsure, and his eyes flickered for a second down to my lips.
I reached up and kissed him.
Of the two of us, I was definitely most surprised. I didn't do things like that. So I pulled back. Yep, that was more like me.
"Never better," I heard myself say. I must have developed a split personality during the evening.
For a second, I watched as a smile spread out over Jacob's face. And then, I couldn't see whether he was smiling or not, because we were kissing again. And if he was, smiling I mean, he was one of those who could do two things at the same time, because he was definitely kissing me, and he was really good at it. I never was that interested in stamps anyway.
It really was a mystery how we managed to get ourselves inside. It was kind of ironic actually. One moment Jacob was worried about me not standing straight, and the next we were practically stumbling ahead like if we were two people sharing one pair of legs. But Jacob was strong, and he didn't trip, and somehow I didn't either, which also was a mystery since half of my body seemed to suddenly cling to him like a magnet. He kissed like heaven.
We never stopped kissing, not even when Jacob had to search in his pocket for a key. He somehow managed to open the door without looking at it. We stumbled inside. I vaguely noticed we were inside the hallway of an apartment complex. It smelled old and mouldy. We stumbled over to the elevator, and I ran my hands through his hair and let the split personality take over. The elevator opened, and we practically fell inside and jammed half the buttons. I didn't even notice the red-faced teenager in the corner until we had already travelled three floors. He left pretty quickly. Good for him.
There was a pling, we stumbled back out and I felt suddenly very warm. Jacob grabbed me around the waist. It's childhood friend Jacob, I told myself. The little, annoying mud-pie eater. We were buddies once, he'd followed me around like a puppy. It didn't feel that way now though. Maybe if he hadn't been this incredibly good looking...
There was some fumbling with a key again, and a bang, and another bang, and we were somehow inside a slightly better-smelling place which I guessed to be Jacob's apartment. I didn't stop to admire his curtains; for all I knew he didn't have any. I felt myself being pressed up against something hard, still kissing, still in a frenzy, and it took a scary amount of time before I realized that it was a wardrobe.
Jacob was a wonderful kisser. Not that 'wonderful' was the word on my mind; my mind had become one-track, exclusively containing one-syllable words like 'good' and 'more' and 'oh'. But we kissed, and it felt great, and warm, really really warm, and all I wanted was to continue.
My stomach lurched, as if warning me again that this was a bad idea. And it probably was. We were childhood buddies. Our dads knew each other.
His hands traced down my waist. I decided now wasn't the best time for rational debate. He placed them firmly on my hips. Definitely beyond any debate at all.
"I'm not really this type of girl," I remembered. "I've never done anything like this before."
Jacob didn't reply. Maybe he actually didn't hear me. But I didn't really care, my head could only think one syllable at the time and right now that was more than enough.
He made a noise, as if in protest, and the next I knew I was being lifted again, and after some fumbling I was pressed against something soft. Bed? Sofa? Didn't care. His hands started to wander up, to the lining of my dress, hesitating. Warm.
My stomach lurched again, warning me, but I ignored it, and his hands moved up, over my dress, up my waist and up. His lips were warm, his hands were warm and I was all so warm, really warm, too warm, and I realized I wasn't feeling that good, at all, I felt dizzy, and my stomach lurched, and Jacob was kissing me, and I couldn't breathe, but I had to breathe, or else–
"Umph," I pressed out, pushing him aside, hard. I heaved myself up from what turned out to be a sofa, staggered along trying to gain my balance. I heard his muffled sound of surprise behind me, but I didn't turn, the room was spinning, I was spinning, and I hurried forward, tearing open the nearest door, praying he lived alone – and then I barfed all over his bathroom.
What could I say? At the moment, there really wasn't many things that could make this situation any worse. But of course, the things that could make it worse, happened:
I threw up. And not just a little barf. I was all in. Or should I say all out.
Jacob appeared in the doorway a moment later, taking in the scenery. He wrinkled his nose and said nothing.
He held my hair. I was mortified.
He was the perfect gentleman about it. He got me a huge glass of water and insisted that I drank it all up, the whole time refusing to listen to any of my feeble apologies.
I fell asleep in a puke-free corner of Jacob Black's bathroom floor thinking that if re-carnation is the way it goes, I must have been pretty horrible in a previous life.
A.N:
English is not my main language, so I apologize for any mistakes that might show up. It's quite possible that I have some annoying mistakes I don't know about. If I do, please point them out to me so I can improve. This chapter has been betaed by JJ Twi1ight – thank you!
Next chapter will be up on October 6. From then on, there will be a new chapter about every other week.
Reviews make me happy :)