Disclaimer: Don't own HP
I could really use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
'Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
Draco looked at himself in the mirror. He wasn't himself anymore. The man looking back at him in the mirror wasn't him. His face was red with some gray under his eyes, due to lack of sleep, and the three scars on his cheek were bloody and open again. Draco winced painfully as he touched them, and as he remembered what happened before his eyes a few hours ago.
Three Hours Ago...
"CRUCIO!" The red light shot out of Bellatrix's wand, hitting Luna and making her crumble to the ground, whimpering in pain.
Draco stared at his aunt in shock leaning against the fireplace, to keep from falling and grasping his father's cane, to keep his hand from going to his heart. He could barely breathe.
It was the second time he seen her tortured with the curse, and the first time, he couldn't take it. He was relieved his mother was there, the first time it happened. She hugged his head to her breast, and covered his ears. It didn't do much, but he liked being held by her. She yelled at Bellatrix to stop, which she did ten minutes later. When it was over, his mother directed him to go upstairs. He did, but not before looking at Luna who was passed out on the floor. He ran to his room, locking the door and placing a silencing charm, and started crying. Downstairs, his mother was trying to help Luna, defend her from his aunt's onslaught, and take care of her wounds.
Draco looked at the stairs. His mother was still sleeping, and his father hadn't come home yet. If she was here, she could stop it.
"Draco!" His aunt smiled and gently grabbed his wrist, pulling him off the fireplace and leading him towards Luna, who was now curled up into a ball, whimpering and had tears streaming down her face. His aunt leaned into his ear. "Try, Draco. You never did it before."
Draco shakily took out his wand and pointed it at the small, helpless girl.
"Thats it, Draco. Now, you know what to do..."
The girl looked up at him, her silver gray eyes, looking into his. She wasn't his friend. At Hogwarts, Draco made fun of her every chance he got, and was always mean to her. He knew he hurt her because with every insult and remark he threw at her, it was like a small part of her died... And even though, he was so mean, she was still nice to him. Draco remembered her skipping happily down the corridors smiling, and saying hello, and always calling him Draco instead of Malfoy.
He stared down at her. A part of him hated her, though. He hated her because she wasn't scared of him like everyone else at school. Even now, she wasn't afraid of him, even though he held her life in his hands. He wished she was afraid of him. He wanted her to hate him, he wanted her to see him as a monster. If she hated him and called him a monster, would it be different?
"Draco, what are you waiting for?" Bellatrix asked.
Draco looked at Luna one last time, and she tearfully looked away. Draco lowered his wand and let out a painful breath that he been holding for the whole time. He turned to Bellatrix and saw her angry expression glaring darkly at him, demanding an explanation.
"I-I can't," he said, his voice shaking.
"AND WHY NOT!" Her voice filled the entire manor, echoing loudly, and clearly.
"S-She went to school with me. I-I can't... I can't hurt her."
"SHE'S NOTHING BUT A BLOOD TRAITOR!" Bellatrix angrily shook her head. "And you, Draco... BLOODY USELESS! JUST LIKE YOU'RE COWARDLY FATHER!"
Draco's grip tightened on his wand. "Don't you ever talk about my father that way, YOU BITCH!"
Before he could do anything else, Draco was holding his face, groaning in pain with drops of blood running down from the newly opened cuts. He looked down at Luna before walking to the staircase and going up the stairs, trying to hide his visible pain from the Death Eaters...
Three Hours Later...
This was where he was now. In his room, trying to fix up the cuts as best as he could before he went to see Luna. He frowned. That's the best I can do. It still stung but he couldn't do much more.
Grabbing his wand, Draco stepped into the hallway, softly closing the door behind him. He looked around. It was late. The lights were out and everything was quiet.
He looked down the hall to the master bedroom, then looked away and started making his way to the stairs. His father hadn't come home yet, and Draco started to wonder if something happened to him. He hoped not. He would have to listen to his mother crying for hours on end, listen to his aunt constantly saying harsh stuff about his father, and worst of all he would have to listen to the Death Eaters trying to hit on his, still beautiful and attractive, mother. They did that now, but they kept the remarks low, out of respect to his father. If his father died, him and his mother wouldn't hear the end of it.
"Good evening, Draco."
Draco jumped at his father's smooth voice. His father was standing next to him, tired and exhausted. "Good evening, father."
"It's late. What are you still doing up?"
Draco came up with a quick excuse. "I-I have to go feed... The hostages..."
"It's late. Like everyone else they would be sleeping. You should be doing the same."
"Mother told me to do it."
"Oh... I see..." He stopped for awhile then continued, "Where is she?"
"She's sleeping now... Actually, she's been sleeping since late this afternoon... She seemed really upset, and told me to wake her when you came home..."
Lucius stared at him as if to take in everything Draco said. He sighed and mumbled, "I'll go see her." Lucius raised his hand to his son's cheek, lightly touching the scars. "What happened to your face?"
"Bellatrix," Draco growled.
"Watch what you say to her... She's not the nicest person..."
Kinda figured, Draco thought angrily.
"And revenge on her would be suicide." His father's voice darkened. "I suppose I should go see, Narcissa," he said tiredly to no one in particular. Draco figured he was talking to himself, since his father was looking away from him. "I shouldn't leave her anymore..." He turned his attention back to Draco. "Don't stay up to long. Goodnight." With that he started walking to the master bedroom...
Draco continued down the stairs. He was relieved his father finally came home, and he secretly wished his father wouldn't leave anymore... Draco sighed. He wished his father could see what it was doing to his mother...
When he came to the door of the basement, he wasn't sure if he should go in. He thought about heading back to his room, going to sleep, letting the cuts heal, and when his mother asks him if he talked to Luna Lovegood, he would tell her, it was late and she was already asleep. He could do that, but he already opened the door and was walking down the steps, letting the door close softly behind him.
It was dark in the basement, except for the small window letting in a little moonlight. It was still hard to see though. Draco thought about saying her name, and when she responded, he would follow her voice.
"Luna?" He waited but she didn't respond. He tried again a little louder. "Luna?" Still no answer. Frustrated, Draco took out his wand. "Lumos." He held up his wand to the dark room, and found Luna curled up in the corner. He walked towards her and sat down in front of her, shining the light in her pale face. He could clearly see bruises and some scars.
Luna studied him with curiosity, his face mostly, but after a few minutes of silence, she smiled, and for some reason, unknown to him, he felt relieved.
"Hello, Draco." Her voice was soft but cheerful.
"Uhh... Hello..."
"It's nice seeing you again. I been really lonely, and I had no one to talk to except for your mother. She's really nice."
"I know..."
"Nicer then Bellatrix." She smiled gently.
Draco couldn't help but smile back. "Yes, that is true."
"Sometimes I hear her," Luna said dreamily. "I hear her yelling at you... I wish she would stop hurting you..." She painfully brought her hand to his cheek.
Draco quickly pulled away, not from the pain, but from his face starting to grow warm at her touch. She lowered her hand and winced as she placed it back in her lap. Draco realized, she was still in pain from the curse. The calmness that he felt was replaced with renewed anger.
"I wish she was dead... I wish I could kill that bitch..." He felt Luna's hand touching his, and started to calm down. It was like what his mother would do to his father whenever he was angry.
"You shouldn't say that, Draco," Luna said calmly. "You're angry because of what she did to you. You don't mean that... Sometimes... We say hurtful things that we don't mean when we're angry..."
"So, what you're not angry about what Bellatrix did to you? You don't hate her for what she did to you?"
"No... I don't get angry, Draco. And I don't hate anyone." She sighed. "Not even the kids who make fun of me or... Hurt me... It makes me sad to hear all the mean things they say, but I'm not angry, and I don't hate any of them."
"Why, though? If they're hurting you, why don't you hate them?"
"They don't hate me..." She paused letting Draco take it in, then continued, "None of them ever said they hated me... It doesn't hurt that much when they make fun of me, it would hurt more if they told me they hated me..."
Draco leaned against the wall. "What would it matter if they hated you?"
"I wouldn't know what I did to make them hate me." She sighed sadly. "Do you hate me, Draco?"
She was a blood traitor, but over all she was a nice girl. She was kind to everyone, and had no hate for anyone, not even him. He wished, though. He wished she hated him. It was the natural order of things. She was suppose to hate him, and he was going to make her.
"Yes. You're a filthy blood traitor! And... You're fuckin' stupid!" His voice rose. "I'M A MONSTER! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO HATE ME! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO HATE ALL OF US! DON'T YOU GET IT, LOVEGOOD?" He listened to the silence then continued in a soft voice, "Don't you get it, Luna? I'm going to kill and torture your friends when we win this war... That's why you're suppose to hate me... I'm a... I'm a monster... You have to hate me..."
It was quiet afterwards. He was sweating and pained because she wasn't saying anything. He looked at her face and saw her blank expression. He wish she would speak now... Mostly, he wished she finally understood.
After the moments silence, he heard Luna's voice in the still night... "I don't hate you, I don't have to hate you, Draco... And I don't think you're a monster..."
"I am a monster! I'm going to be a Death Eater! I'm going to kill people without any remorse! I am a monster! I hate you... HATE ME! THATS HOW IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE! PLEASE!"
Luna brought her hand to his cheek and this time, he didn't pull away, just stared into her eyes. "You're not a monster, Draco. I saw you when Bellatrix wanted you to torture me... If you hated me, why didn't you torture me? I'm not going to hate you because... I like you..."
Draco roughly pulled away, tears starting to pour. "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO LIKE ME! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!"
Despite the pain throughout her body, Luna moved closer to him, holding his face in her hands. "You're in pain, Draco... You don't mean everything you say... You're hurting and... I can help you..."
"How?" He choked out. "How can you help me?" How can she? As far as he knew, he was already in the darkness.
She leaned into his lips stopping inches away. "Watch me..." With that...
She kissed him...