LittleZion's Questions

So first of all, I'd like to thank all of you who reviewed and had questions for Sweeney. I'll do my best to make Sweeney answer them in a way that's well-suited to him and Ashley. Some questions I saw could also fit some of the other characters, so Sweeney may be asking for some help in answering some questions. One last thing before I start this chapter. No matter how much it hurts me to say this; I do not own Sweeney Todd. So if anyone's planning to ask me to borrow him, I'll have to politely decline. So without further ado, here comes Aaaaask Sweeney-Part 1!

Sweeney Todd sat in his chair in him small barber shop, thinking about Lucy and Johanna. This certainly was not something new to him, he thought about them constantly everyday. He thought about he'd get him daughter back to him and he thought about that horrible Judge Turpin. How could someone do something so horrible, especially to a man that didn't do anything to deserve it? Suddenly he heard a loud knock at the door and a woman's voice ask "Mr. T, may I come in?" Sweeney grunted and the woman (also known as everyone's favorite cannibalistic baker-Mrs. Lovett) came into his shop with a small bag.

She turned the bag upside down and multiple letters fell out. Sweeney looked at the letters with confusion clearly on his face. "What are all of these letters Mrs. Lovett?"

She looked at him like she couldn't believe that he'd asked that. "You really don't know what all of this is Mr. Todd? Well I'll tell you, it's fan mail!" She smiled broadly and squealed with delight.

Sweeney on the other hand still looked confused. "Huh, fan mail? I'm not the kind of man who's supposed to get fan mail, if anything I should get hate mail. Otherwise wouldn't I be called a loveable barber, not a demon?

Mrs. Lovett walked over to Sweeney with a small note. "Here Mr. Todd, the first letter, read it."

Sweeney opened the letter and looked at it strangely. "Um, Mrs. Lovett, there are all advice questions. I'm not sure about this." Mrs. Lovett moved her hands in a circular 'answer it' motion. Sweeney let out a long sigh and read. "Alright, this first question comes from, Littlezion of the USA. She writes, 'My brother is an annoying jerk, any suggestions? (Sorry, he made me mad today, so I had to do that! lol).' Okay, first of all, I don't know what an lol is so, I hope you're not wondering what that is.

*NelliethePieAngel and Bella enter from nowhere.* "It means laugh out loud Sweeners. Myself and my sister will be here if any of you need help answering any questions." Nellie and Bella wove to the murderous duo. "Ready to help answer questions Bella, if these two need help that is?"

Bella clapped her hands. "Let's get to it. We'll go, confront the problem, fight, WIN!" Sorry all, my sister and I are kind of Incredibles fans.

Sweeney looked at the sisters as if they were speaking some alien dialect and spoke again. "Well littlez, I believe I have a good answer for you. *Screaming* SHUT HIM UP! Do you think I should know what to do about a brother? I was born from a broken man, do you think I have any siblings? If he's a jerk, threaten him or something! Tell your brother to either shut up or I can come over for him if you want! Does your brother need a shave, huh? *Imitating littlez-Waaah, my brothers a big jerk, waah waaah waaah!*" He calmed down and gritted his teeth.

Sweeney looked at the letter again, making sure he didn't miss anything. He saw that there were still two questions, though one seemed completely foolish. And the other, seemed utterly thoughtless. "Fine, the next question is... "Sweeney, what would happen if you smacked a chicken while it was laying an egg?

(This question has haunted me for over a year!)" Sweeney thought about it for a while, he really didn't know. He supposed he could take a guess at what would happen. "Well littlez, while I'm not 100% sure... THE CHICKEN WOULD PROBABLY WANT TO BITE YOUR STINKIN' HAND OFF! Would you really be stupid enough to smack a chicken while it was laying an egg?! You better run because it would probably want to go after you for threatening it." Sweeney let out a small growl. "Why would someone ask such a foolish question? Of course the chickens gonna try to get you, you're threatening it and an egg!"

Mrs. Lovett looked at him worriedly and started to giggle. She came up behind Sweeney and wrapped her arms around him, surprising to her, he allowed it. Maybe he knew he had to calm down a bit as well. "Ow's about I read one, just so you can calm down a bit, eh Mr. T?"

Sweeney looked at the letter again, this one would be good for her. "Here's one that looks good for you, it's about food."

Mrs. Lovett took the letter and read the question. "How long does it take to make a 30 minute pizza? (lol sorry)." Mrs. Lovett read over the letter a few more times, just to make sure she wasn't missing anything. Could a question this obvious really be asked, and there was another lol notation.

*Nellie and Bella looked at her, waiting.* Bella approached Mrs. Lovett and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's cool Mrs. L, sometimes people ask silly and obvious questions. That's what this little story's all about, asking any silly and obvious question, and then you and Sweeney yell about how obvious it was. It's really all for laughs."

Mrs. Lovett smiled as Bella rejoined her sister. Mrs. Lovett closed her eyes, thinking of some way to answer this. The answer was in the question, so why couldn't this person just find out herself? "Well Littlezion, my friend, I believe I have an answer for you." Her eyebrows lowered and she looked ready to attack. "THE STINKIN' ANSWER'S IN THE STINKIN' QUESTION. My gawd, you take the pizza. Make it look all nice and stuff, then put it in the bleedin' oven for 30 flippin' minutes. The reason it took so long to figure this one out is because, I actually thought there was more to this darn question. Look at your question dearie, the stinkin' answer is IIIIN the question. I hope you don't burn that pizza, cause it seems you've already burned your brain! *Imitating Littlez- I'm littleziooon and I don't know how long it takes to cook up a 30 flippin' minute pizza. Oh woe is me, for I have lost my common sense. Nope, nothing up here but complaining about my brother, smacking chickens silly and cooking pizzas. I don't know the answer even though I answered my own question in the question and blahdy blahdy blahdy stinkin' BLAH!* Hey I've got an idea, why don't you ask your jerky brother if he knows how long it takes to cook a flippin' 30 minute pizza, while your smacking that chicken! Come on now genius." She let out a large sigh and screamed annoyed.

Nellie and Bella laughed behind their hands, Mrs. Lovett should get annoyed sometimes. The thing was, it was funny when she got annoyed. She looked like something similar to a pogo-stick in action, jumping around annoyed while answering the question. Nellie walked up to the baker and after letting her know that she did a good job, started laughing. "She said she burned out her brain and smack chickens, I'm sorry but that was funny." Everyone started chuckling, and even Sweeney showed off a bit of a smirk at it. They still had more letters to go through, but they felt that letter was enough for the day.

So, I hope you all the first submissions answers. I'll do this for everyone, because I know I'm making these Sweeney characters go crazy and insult, so at the end of every chapter... Littlez, I do apologize if anything was hurt (besides the chicken) by this chapter. Remember all, it's for the laughs and fun of it all. If ya can't handle Ashley's answers (Sweeney or whoever's answering the question), don't ask the question. And if you think you can handle it, then that's awesome. I'm trying to make this long, so keep sending in those questions and our crew will keep trying to answer them. Even PMing is cool, if ya come up with any questions and you've already reviewed, pm any other questions you have for them. And remember, making the questions painfully and foolishly obvious is the game. So hope you enjoyed, and leave reviews.

P.S. I'm actually starting to think of a new story. Yeah I know, 3 stories, oy. That's why this new story will be rather short, just a quick little thing. I've done so much with Sweeney Todd, that I was thinking I should use some other movies, lol. So I was sleeping one night, when it kind of smack ed me on the head. TNBC! Hear me out, Jack's already dead and stuff, so I'm sure his family would be too. So even though she's not mentioned in the story, at all, I make Jack pay her a visit. Jack tells her of his plan to make Christmas and she feels disappointed. She goes on about Jack's older brother (yes I'm making him have an older brother). She asks how it's possible that Jack can only think about taking another holiday, when his older brother's soooo successful as Grimmy. It would be the ever-popular 'Your brother's the grim reaper, why can't you make a huge success of yourself like him?' story. Anyone likett, hatett, lovett?

P.S.S. I hope everyone has a great v-day. I've already started, I got a Tim Burton design card from my mom. XD! LOL (lots of love) people! 3 3 3 3!!!!!