Your Authoress, Liah Cauthon, poofs into existence on the stage again, this time holding a bright orange scroll. "Konichiwa readers! We're back with another stress relieving chapter of 'Naruto Rants' where your favorite characters rant at the idiot authors who think they know everything! This time Naruto Uzumaki is up!!" Timeskip!Naruto poofs onto the stage and takes the scroll from Liah. "Konichiwa! As you guys know, I'm the main character of the Anime and manga series 'Naruto'. Today, I'm going to speak to you about pairings. I know I'm the main character and all, but WTF is wrong with you guys?!?!?!!?!? I'm N-O-T gay, and the Harem pairings??? For Kami's sake people, be realistic!! Most of Konoha hates my guts, so why would girls suddenly throw themselves at me?? OC's are fine and dandy, but pairing me with a fucking bitch that has a demon more powerful than the Kyuubi no Kitsune?? That's bullshit!! No jinchukiri has a biju with more power than the nine-tails!! Also, quit paring me with everyone and their mom!!! And the yaoi! I'm a freaking pervert in the making, so why would I suddenly become gay and go out with Sasuke or some random guy I've barely talked to??" Naruto is left panting from yelling all that stuff. "Before I forget, I don't own anything 'cept my self." Liah said quickly. "One more thing, I do not say 'Believe it' At all. I don't say anything that means believe it, because IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING!!! I do say 'Dattebayo' though. It's meaningless, just a way to make a sentence longer."