Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Two- Dosed By You

"I got dosed by you and,

Closer than most to you and,

What am I supposed to do,

Take it away,

I never had it anyway,

Take it away,

And everything will be okay"

-Red Hot Chili Peppers- "Dosed"

As the plane brought my closer to my family, my thoughts became filled with them. Having not seen them since September I was pretty anxious to reunite with them.

The flight attendant offered me a drink and I politely declined, for the fifth time. She gave me a flirtatious smile and with a wink she finally walked away. I turned my attention to the window. We were flying over Washington right now.

Somewhere down there, at this very moment, Bella was living her life without me. Was she happy? Had she moved on? Had she forgotten all about me? I kept telling myself that's what I wanted her to do. Of course I was lying to myself. I didn't want her to ever forget me or what we had shared. She deserved to have someone to love her. Someone who wasn't flawed, like me. She deserved someone who was perfect in every way.

Bella was beautiful in a flowing white gown. Her hair expertly done, her make up just right. She was flawless. Any bride would be on their wedding day. Her groom stood at the end of the aisle waiting for her with a smile on his face. He was a handsome man, anyone could admit that. Tall, blond, blue eyes, muscular. He was the picture of perfection.

Charlie Swan escorted his daughter down the aisle. The preacher said some words and it was done. Bella Swan was now Mrs. Owen Gibson. Her husband took her hand and led her down the aisle. The newlyweds each wore one-thousand watt smiles on their lips.

Bella sought out Edward and thanked him for coming. "I didn't want this to be weird," she said, looking down.

"It's not," Edward lied.

She looked at him with her doe eyes projecting concern. "Sir, would you like something to drink?" she said.

"What?"

"Something to drink?" she repeated.

I shook myself, realizing it was only the flight attendant. I accepted a bottle of water from her and she left. I was still on the plane. Torturing myself with visions of Bella's future. Or, how her future should be.

Shaking my head, I looked back out the window. We would be landing soon.

I pulled the rental car up to the house and got out. Before I could even shut the door Alice was on me, chattering away. She released me and stepped back, striking a pose. "How do I look?"

"Like an elf," I teased. She was wearing red and green striped tights with black boots, a green skirt and a red and green top. The hat perched on her head was also green and red and had little elf ears on the sides.

She smiled wide. "Thank you," she said, grabbing me by the arm. "We're so excited you're here. Emmett's been waiting for you for weeks." She was trying to hide her thoughts from me, so I could tell something was up, but I didn't ask. I'd let Emmett have his fun.

I opened the door and motioned for her to go inside before me. "A true gentleman," she said in a dreamy voice. I smiled as I followed her inside.

After the greetings, and hugs and a scolding from Esme about not calling enough, we sat down in the living room to catch up. Esme kept giving me the side-eye, making sure I was really as okay as I seemed.

She cornered me in the kitchen. "Edward," she started. Turning toward me with a cautious eye. "I know you may not want to talk about it, but I have to ask." She paused, giving me a chance to protest. I didn't. "How are you doing?"

"Better." She stared to me, knowing that wasn't the full truth. Finally I admitted, "I miss Bella. I think about her every day and I still love her." I smiled. "On the plane we flew over Washington and I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing at that moment. If she were thinking about me." I stopped and thought about my next words. "I did what I had to do though. She could have been hurt or killed if I hadn't left her. She's better off without me."

Esme smiled sympathetically, but it wasn't her who spoke.

"Don't you dare get broody on us tonight," a female's voice said from behind me. I turned to find Rosalie with her arms crossed. She was trying to glare at me, but her eyes gave her away. "You've been gone for months, you can't come in here moping around and think we're just gonna let you."

At that moment something hit me in the back of the head. Emmett was standing on the porch with the back door open, holding a snowball in his hand.

"Emmett! Don't throw snow in the house!" Esme scolded. Emmett didn't seem to hear her. He lobbed the other snowball at me, a pathetic attempt to really hit me though. I ducked out of the way and it smacked Rosalie in the face.

She gasped and her mouth dropped open. "This is a new shirt!" She looked down. "These shoes are Prada!" With that, she moved towards me. Emmett and I ran out into the backyard, lobbing snowballs at Rosalie while she threw them back at us. Since it was two-on-one she ended up covered in snow.

Finally, she took her shoes off and hurled one at each of us, one hit me in the ear and the other hit Emmett on the nose. She turned and stalked into the house. Esme's voice floated out to us as she scolded Rose for tracking snow on the carpet.

"Thanks, Em," I said quietly.

I didn't need to explain why I was thanking him, he understood. "No problem, bro." After a moment of awkward silence, he came running at me and a wrestling match ensued.

"There's no way either of you are coming in this house covered in snow," Esme said firmly. She dropped some clean, dry clothes on the porch. "Strip down and put these on."

"We might freeze, Esme. Look at all this snow," Emmett protested. She gave him a look that said 'try again' and he smiled devilishly.

"Do it and get inside. Alice wants Edward to play something on the piano." She went back inside.

"Alright," Emmett said, picking up his clothes. "Don't look." He peeled his snow covered shirt off and started pulling on the other one.

"I think I'll just go behind this tree," I said, walking away before he could drop his pants. Emmett's booming laughter followed me.

Christmas night I found myself climbing up to the roof. There were no people out here for me to watch, like in Brazil. Earlier in the day we exchanged gifts. I'd been excited to give Alice, Rose and Esme their gifts. I bought them some jewelry from Brazil that looked exotic. The girls loved them, as I had known they would. So far this had been an enjoyable holiday. The only thing missing was Bella.

I looked up at the moon high above me. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart," I said. The stars above twinkled in response. I couldn't help but wonder what she had done to celebrate today. Charlie had probably given her some gifts, she had most certainly given him something. I thought about her sleeping soundly in her bed right now, her belly full from a Christmas meal. I stood up and jumped off the roof to return to my room.

Like I had done before, I pulled out my notebook and began to write. When I finished, I tore it out and folded it up. Into the box it went.

A/N: Just throwing this out there, if anyone needs a beta please let me know. I've got a beta profile if you'd like to check up on me. Thanks for reading, please review! Enjoy your Easter holiday! ~JLL