Note: The two enthusiastic reviews I got convinced me to go on with this, so, here it goes… I hope you'll like it!;)
o o o o o o o
"Chance is perhaps the pseudonym of God when he does not wish to sign his work…" Anatole France
I don't really remember how I came back to my hotel. I walked, and my subconscious must have guided me somehow, because now I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall, and clutching the bracelet in my hand.
I still can't understand what happened exactly… It was strange, to say the least. Maybe I should talk to Giles, or Willow about this. Willow would be better… Somehow, I don't think Giles would want to hear me say that an old woman tried to make me believe that Angel was alive.
And, actually, she never really said that. Maybe I misinterpreted, maybe I'm grasping at straws, seeing hints, and possibilities, that were never there in the first place. She never really mentioned him, did she? There are a lot of other Angels in the world, and the one she was talking about probably wasn't a centuries old vampire with a soul who decided to play a too dangerous game and died two years ago… She probably meant angel, as in the ones that live in Heaven – except, huh, I've been there, and I didn't see any. I think somehow I would remember seeing a guy with wings… but people don't need to know this.
She was talking about love, and soul mates, and I jumped to conclusions. Yeah, that must be it. I need to stop reacting like this every time something reminds me of him… He's dead, ashes in the wind, and he's never gonna come back. Why am I doing this to myself? I was doing great, these last twenty months or so. Moving on, living my life, and I thought he was just a bittersweet memory of what I could never have. One that I would cherish for the rest of my life, but a memory all the same.
And yet, here I am, completely drenched, and wiping my eyes… I can taste salt on my lips… maybe the rain isn't entirely responsible for the dampness on my cheeks.
I wish I could have talked to her again. That old woman. I'm starting to wonder if I didn't hallucinate… No, she was there. And besides, where would I have gotten that bracelet?
She just disappeared. Vanished. Was it some kind of warning? I'm starting to regret Whistler, even he was less cryptic than her.
Why am I thinking about Whistler now?
My head is spinning, I think it was a little too much for me. I should sleep. I step out of my sandals, and take off my soaked dress… I almost decide to take a shower, but sleep is already claiming me. I lay down on the bed, not bothering to slip under the covers…
My last thought before everything goes black is that the bracelet is still in my hand.
o o o o o o o
I don't know where I am. Everything's so dark… I'm walking, aimlessly, I don't know where I'm going… I try to reach out in front of me, and there's nothing. Nothing but a thick fog that is starting to surround me.
I can't see my feet anymore. There's no sound, everything is so silent it's eerie. What am I doing here?
I feel a presence, not very far from where I am. I don't know if it's friendly…I have a bad feeling about this.
It starts so softly that I don't hear it immediately. A panting… Somebody's in pain.
Footsteps.
And a weak voice.
"Buffy…"
His voice. I gasp, and start to run, to run fast, I don't care if I don't see anything. I have to find him, but the more I try to follow the sounds, the more they seem to fade away…
I panic, I try to say his name but it just won't come out of my mouth.
I stop, suddenly. I don't hear it anymore. I can feel tears forming in my eyes… It's too late. My knees are about to give out when I feel an arm coming around my waist. A warm skin against mine… I realise that I'm naked. How come I hadn't noticed that? I turn around, and even if I can't see him, I know I found him. Or maybe he found me? I press my palm against his chest, and I feel his lips inches away from mine. I've been waiting for this moment…
But before I can touch them, the air suddenly freezes, and he's gone. I'm alone, and cold.
I scream…
I wake up with a start, bolting upright in my bed. My body is covered in cold sweat, and I'm sobbing uncontrollably… I hadn't had any dream like this one for the last year or so.
What is happening to me?
I lay back on the bed, clutching my pillow against my chest. I need to let the tears out. That's what Willow kept saying. 'Let the tears out, Buffy…'
Who knew I still had tears in me?
I can't stay here. Bali is going to drive me insane. I need to go back home, if there's ever such a place… I need to see Dawn, and Will, and Xand…
I know I won't fall back asleep, and besides, it's already four in the morning, almost dawn. I get up, and start to put some clean clothes on. I won't stand to stay here, I'll hop on the first plane that leaves that damn island.
I throw clothes in my suitcase, gather my belongings… I need to hurry up, I'm gonna lose it if I stay any longer.
When I'm finally done, I look around the room to make sure I didn't forget anything. And that's when I spot it, on the bed. The bracelet. I can feel the tears coming back, I don't take the time to think, I need to get rid of it. I grab it from the rumpled sheets, and throw it in the bin.
I take my purse and my suitcase, and leave the room without a second glance.
o o o o o o o
The sun is just rising when I enter Ngurah Rai airport. I head straight for the information desks, I'm a bit lost, and I need to leave, fast. I don't know why exactly, but I have to, my skin seems too tight, my heart is pounding… Any minute now I feel like I'm gonna start to hyperventilate.
It takes me a few minutes, and I buy my ticket for London. It leaves at eight thirty. Two hours to kill.
I try to relax, and join the queue for the baggage check. For a few blissful minutes, I just wait, and every thought flees from my mind. I follow the indications, pass through Immigration, and I can finally enter the shopping area… My little panic crisis seems to have quieted down, I can breathe normally.
I sit down at a café. Somehow, knowing that I'm on my way home makes me feel better… But I can't shake away the feeling of dread and urgency the dream awoke in me. I can still hear his voice, crystal clear, in my head. Feel his arm, his breath… wait a minute? His breath?
Well, that was a strange dream.
As I wait for my flight, drinking my coffee, I decide to ring Willow. I don't know if she's in England, she was on a mission too when I left, but I try anyway… I need to talk, to hear a friendly voice, anything to make me forget…
She picks up her phone after the fourth ring.
"Hello?" says a sleepy voice.
"Will?"
There's a beat. "Buffy?"
"Yes, Will, I'm sorry, were you asleep?"
"Well, yeah…it's one AM where I am."
I curse under my breath. Of course. Time difference. I'm an idiot…
"I'm sorry, I totally forgot about that… where are you, by the way?"
"Romania" she says.
My heart skips a beat. Is this some kind of giant, cosmic conspiracy? It's the "let's remember I lost the love of my life" week, or what?
"Oh" I manage to say. "I can call back later, if you want to…"
"No, no, it's okay! I don't have anything particular to do tomorrow, I can stay up late…" I can hear the smile in her voice. That's Willow for you, call her in the middle of the night, she'll be there to listen. "Why did you call?"
I shrug, before remembering that she can't see me. "I just wanted to talk to you, nothing in particular… you know, catch up and all…"
She lets out a small, gentle sigh. "Okay, what is it? I know you, you have something voice."
I'm tempted to tell her everything. To pour my heart out, cry, and let her tell me everything's gonna be okay, because somehow, when she says it, I believe her.
But I don't.
"It's nothing Will, nothing important anyway. I'm in Bali, waiting for my flight, I'm coming back to England."
She squeals with delight.
"Really? Oh, that's great, I come back next week! I needed to meet some witches here, you can't imagine the amount of things I learnt from those gypsies… Their magic is truly unique, and old, it's fasc…" she interrupts her babbling abruptly "it's, uh… it's… interesting. And you probably don't want to hear how great gypsy magicks are, so, I'm gonna take my foot out of my mouth now."
I'm starting to think somebody hates me, up there. It's Buffy's twist-the-knife-in-the-wound day.
"It's okay Will. You can say the word 'Gypsy' you know, I'll survive." I make a pathetic attempt at a smile.
"Yeah, I know…" She quickly changes the subject. "Dawn is coming back too, she was on holiday with Vi and Lauren in France!"
Finally, something good. I'm gonna see the whole family. "That's great! I hope she bought souvenirs, I've never been in St-Tropez!"
"Hey, why don't we go there next summer?" she says, her voice cheerful.
We talk for a few minutes, make plans for our holidays, just like old times. Our friendship suffered a lot, after the last year in Sunnydale, but we managed to mend the broken fences, and I'm glad. At least, I still have the Scoobies… Or, what's left of it.
It's almost time to go, and while still talking to Willow, I search for my wallet in my purse. I have a lot of things in there, Dawn calls me Mary Poppins… It takes me a while, but I find it. I need to pay for my drinks. I try to get it out of the bag, but it's stuck, probably tangled with my headphones again. I pull, hard, and draw in a sharp breath when I finally manage to set it free.
It's not my headphones that are dangling at the corner of my wallet. It's the bracelet.
Willow is still talking, but I don't listen to her. I was sure I had thrown it away, back in my hotel room… How on earth did it end up in my purse?
"Buffy… buffy?"
My best friend's voice brings me back to reality.
"Will, uh, sorry… zoned out for a while. What were you saying?"
"Are you okay?" she asks, her voice filled with worry.
"Yeah, uh, I just… Listen, something is…" I don't know if I should tell her. I decide I should keep it to myself. She'd end up thinking I finally lost it. "Never mind. Look, Will, I have to go. My flight is leaving in a few minutes. I'll see you in a few days okay?"
"Yeah… okay. Bye then, have a good flight…"she says. She sounds suspicious… who wouldn't?
"Bye Willow."
I hang up, and watch the bracelet closely. That's the one, I'm not hallucinating. What did that old woman do to me?
I'm slightly shaking when I pay the bill, and head for the terminal. I can't really find my way, the airport is not that huge, but I'm really troubled… I turn around, trying to look at the panels.
I try to concentrate, but my thoughts keep going back to the piece of jewelry I'm holding in my hand, and to the woman I met in Denpasar… I need to see her again, I have questions to ask, I should stay here… But something tells me that I'll never find her. It's too late. I have to find another way…
I'm still lost in my thoughts when a deep voice rings in my ear. I jump, and turn around, a young man is standing next to me. If I was in my right mind, I would probably blush, because boy, he's a sight… Tall, with dark skin and dark eyes, and a friendly smile…
"Excuse me?" I ask.
"I just wondered if you were lost. You've been standing there in the middle of the hall for five minutes…" he says.
"Oh… uh, yes, I'm looking for terminal 2."
"That's easy, look, right behind you, there's an indication" he says, pointing at something over my left shoulder. I turn around, and look for the sign, and after a few seconds I see it, half hidden behind a palm tree.
"I see it!" I say, then smile sheepishly. I suddenly feel like the dumb blond in the joke. "Sorry, and thank you for your help, I could have spent hours here without spotting it…"
He chuckles. "You're very welcome, it was my pleasure… and you would have found it eventually. You just needed to know where to look."
I stop dead in my tracks, and stare at him. I had to know where to look… I can hear it playing in my head.
He frowns. "Ma'am?" he asks.
I snap out of it, thank him again, and run towards the terminal. That's where I had to look, that's the way I had to go… Terminal 2, headed for home.
He must think I'm insane… Well, maybe I am, because I'm starting to believe in the impossible.
o o o o o o o
TBC
So? Any comment? I crave some reviews!! ;) Pretty please? With a naked Angel on top? (smiles wickedly)