A/N; I guess it's set around the time of the last Chuunin Exam judging by how it's set in the same place and Sasuke's wearing his black outfit. And Lee's better! It's a miracle! Let me know if you want the vacation, and if it should be just team 7, team seven plus Kakashi or all the rookie 9 and team Gai (with or without senseis). :)

Eien no Shasai Special!

Konoha Annual Sports Festival

"Yosha! It's time! It's time! It's time! It's time! Konoha no sato's annual sports festival!!" Naruto cried in excitement.

"The winning team will get a paid vacation for a whole week!" Sakura squealed in delight. "Sasuke-kun, let's do our best!" Sasuke smirked.

"Ne, I hope it's a decent vacation," Kari said, hoping it wouldn't be a cheap cramped hotel or something stupid. Kita nodded in agreement.

"Yosha! I'll do it!" Naruto cried and then doubled over clutching his stomach. 'This has to happen at a time like this dattebayou?!'

"Naru-kun?" Kari asked worriedly, seeing his usually tan face go blue. He suddenly shot off, running at full speed.

"Chotto matte, Naruto! The opening ceremonies are about to start!" Sakura cried.

"It's going to come out!! Toilet!!" Naruto shrieked clutching his bottom as he ran full speed to the toilets, pushing innocent bystanders out of his way. He neared the corner and stopped, feeling sick. The line… Why was the line so long?!?! "NANDE?!!!"

---x---

In the end, he had to run back without relieving himself, to prepare for the first event.

'I guess I've got too run right now…' he thought, as the other Genins stood in teams either side of him in a horizontal line. Having a four-man (plus a wolf) team was going to make it harder on them as they had to run holding each others shoulders. Why? Because their feet were attached to a pair of skis. Naruto was in front, Sakura behind him, Kari behind her with Kita in her jacket and then Sasuke bringing up the rear. It made sense to have the two fastest members at the back, but Sasuke refused to let Kari go behind him. Plus the boys would be heavier as they were more muscular, so the weight would be balanced.

Iruka dropped a smoke bomb and they shot forward one team falling straight over. Naruto suddenly pulled an alarming face.

'Why does it have to happen again?!' In his desperation to finish and reach a toilet he increased his speed, shooting forward and finishing first, much to his teams delight. He then detached himself from the skis and raced in the direction of the toilet, hand clasped over backside.

"Naruto! Chotto matte, where are you going?!" Sakura cried while Kari tried to free her feet, only to fall straight over and land on a less than impressed Sasuke. Naruto rushed forward, delighted to see no line and raced ahead, only to trip and slide on his face until he was outside the door. He looked up to see a sign.

'We are sorry, closed for cleaning, please use another restroom.'

"Why does it have to be closed for cleaning dattebayouuu?!" Naruto cried, tears flooding from his eyes. He stopped and looked up, to see the women's restroom beside the men's. "The women's restroom…" He stood up and walked over to it. He looked around, a blush coating his face. "I guess it's an emergency situation…" He gulped and stepped forward.

"Naruto-kun?"

"AAAAH!!" he screamed jumping in the air with fright, his hand grabbing hold of his rear. 'It's going to come out! Going to--!' "Hinata??" he said surprised, seeing the short girl standing there. "What is it Hinata?" he said awkwardly, forcing an uneasy smile while he clutched his buttocks.

"Naruto-kun… anou… anou… I have… something… to say…" she said shyly, pressing her pointer fingers together.

"Hurry up and say it, dattebayouuuu," Naruto begged, sweat rolling down his face from the effort.

"The next round is the obstacle course! All participants, please assemble!" the announcer called.

"Naruto-kun, you're going to be in the race, ne? Gambatte ne!" Hinata cried blushing heavily.

"I waited... just... for that?" Naruto sobbed as his stomach gurgled unpleasantly.

---x---

"Why does it have to be the obstacle course?!" Naruto shrieked as he ran the spiralling track, it was like a rollercoaster but he diligently raced on until he reached the next hurdle… to drink a carton of milk. "Why does it have to be milk at a critical time like this?! And it's one whole litre!!" The other participants downed it and raced forwards.

'Narutoooo, it's a week's paid vacation! Drink it, and hurry to the goal!' Sakura's evil angry voice floated through his head.

"This is painful…"

---x---

"I forgot about the toilets for participant's dattebayou…" Naruto said as he waddled towards the portable loos in front of him. "Just a little bit more…" he said reaching forward. "Just four more steps… three more steps… two more steps… one more step…"

"Nikudan Sensha!"

A gigantic green bowling ball of evil shot forward and knocked over the toilets like bowling pins. Naruto's jaw dropped and he screamed.

"Eh? What's wrong Naruto?" Shikamaru asked. Naruto grabbed hold of Shikamaru's shirt and started violently shaking him.

"GIVE ME BACK MY TOILET!!" Naruto screamed.

"Baka!"

"Ino told me to practice my ball rolling techniques…" Chouji said apologetically.

"Youuuuu! Usuratonkachiiiii!!" Naruto shrieked.

"Who is? Who's a moron?" Ino said dangerously, advancing forward while cracking her knuckles. "Are you saying that we can't practice?"

"Next event is giant ball rolling! All participants, assemble now!"

"Yosha! Shikamaru, Chouji, it's our turn!"

"Yeah!!"

"Yare, yare…"

Meanwhile, Naruto was crawling in the direction of the upturned toilets.

"Oi Naruto! You're in this event too, right?" Ino said, grabbing by the collar and dragging him back towards the arena, ignoring his whining.

"Oi! Let me go! This is murder!!!"

---x---

"Naruto, move!" Sakura shrieked as they pushed their ball forward full speed. Naruto was running in front, unable to help due to fairness and Kari and Kita were running on top backwards, making the ball roll faster. Sadly, Naruto got run over by the ball and Kari and Kita had to jump over him each time he came round.

"What are you doing, clumsy usuratonkachi?!" Sasuke cried as Kari struggled with her balance.

"I'm not clumsyyyyyy!"

---x---

"In that case this is my final option!" Naruto cried. "Tajuu Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" Immediately, a hundred clones appeared. "Yosh, minna, take my place and run for me!"

"Heh, waiting in line right?" a clone asked.

"No problem, leave it to me!" another said confidently. A variety of horror stricken and pained expressions crossed the clones faces and clutching themselves, they shot off.

"I'm counting on you… minna… dattebayouuuuuu…"

Meanwhile, the herd of clones were charging for the toilets.

"Me first!"

"Urusai!"

"No, me first!"

When one finally got to a toilet, the other cloneswere jammed in the door from all trying to enter at once.

"You guys…" he said in exasperation.

"Don't push!"

"Hurry up and come out!"

"Urusai I haven't even started yet!!"

"Thanks for queuing up for me," Naruto said, dispelling the clones and walking towards the heavenly toilet. "I can finally have some relief dattebayou…" but then he realised… The clones had all locked the doors from the inside!! "Noooooo! The clones locked the doors from the inside and disappeared dattebayou!" he furiously began pounding on each door. "Hey! Is anyone in there?! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Is anyone in there?! If so, please hurry up and come out dattebayou!!"

"I'm in here."

Naruto cringed at the familiar voice.

'Why does it have to be Shino again?!'

"Wait your turn, and keep the toilets clean for personal use. Those are the rules."

'That's why I don't like him dattebayou.' Naruto though in irritation. "Anyway! Please hurry up; it's really going to come out!"

"Next is the final round of the relay race! All participants, hurry and assemble!"

"Are you going to come out? Are you going to come out?" Naruto cried, hearing a flush. "Hey Shino, please hurry up!" The taller boy opened the door and stepped out and Naruto quickly went to go in, but Shino held his arm out, blocking the way.

"You have to endure it now."

"EHHHHH? Nani, what are you saying?!" Naruto cried as Shino carried him with his kaichuu. "Let me go Shino, oi!"

"We are rivals in the last race. Since your team has a high score, I won't forgive you if you win and just run away. That is the rule. Besides, you don't want to upset Kari do you? It is unacceptable for you to let her down when she has such faith in you."

"BAKAAA!! I really hate you after all!"

---x---

As they had four people, they had to start further back and Kari was dumped with the task of running the extra lap. She was running first starting further back and had abandoned all her weights and weapons in favour of rushing around at lightning speed. A smoke bomb was dropped and Kari shot forward like a bullet managing to complete her lap and drop the baton in Sakura's hand before the other girls got even three metres ahead.

"Show Sasuke what your made of!" Kari cheered and with a new found speed Sakura shot forward until she was joint leading with Ino.

"You're in my way, forehead girl!"

"Urusai, Ino-pig!"

"Sakura-chan, hurry up, hurry up…" Naruto whined. Sakura managed to drop the baton in Sasuke's hand and he shot ahead, poor Chouji being left in the dust while Shino and Lee soon caught up to Sasuke.

"Go Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cheered.

"Sasuke… Hurry up please…!" Naruto thought desperately. "Damn it that temee's too slow!" As Sasuke approached, Naruto started running forward, preparing to receive the baton but Sasuke missed his hand and instead shoved the baton up Naruto's ass.

"SASUKE!! THERE ARE KIDS IN THE AUDIENCE!!" Kari screeched while her fellow kunoichi looked nothing short of horrified.

"Usuratonkachi! Hurry up and run, clumsy baka," Sasuke said as Naruto fell to the floor in agony.

"Sasukeeeee," Naruto whimpered, mentally sending bucket loads of hate Sasuke's way. He reached round and unplugged the baton from his behind and stood up. "At this rate it's gonna be bad…"

'I guess I'll have to make it to the goal in one shot, and then keep running!' Pulling a Kari stunt, he charged forward at full speed.

"He's fast!" Ino cried.

"Go Naruto!!" Sakura, Kari and Kita cheered in unison.

"What's with him?" Sasuke asked, wondering why Naruto was running full out. Naruto crossed the line miles ahead of everyone else and cheered.

"Yatta! And I'll just keep going!" Naruto cried, rushing towards the exit. Finally, FINALLY he could relieve himself!! But his body suddenly froze. Turning around he saw he was locked in Shikamaru's Kage Mane.

"Where are you going?" Shikamaru asked. "It's troublesome, but there's still the awards ceremony."

"You did it Naruto!" Sakura cried as they all rushed over. "A paid vacation for a whole week!"

"Congratulations… Naruto-kun…" Hinata said happily.

"I… I can't hold it any longer…" Naruto said weakly.

"Kari senses say something bad is about to happen…" Kari mumbled.

Naruto smiled in relief as the most awful smell flooded around him. Kari rushed up the front of Sasuke's shirt, pressing the high collar over her nose.

"What is this?!"

"Baka! You're stretching my shirt!"

"What is it?!"

"You smell!!"

"The smell is too strong!!"

"Naruto-kun!"

"This is heaven dattebayou…"