3. One Step Forward
- Saturday, 10.30 A.M. Kudou Residence, Dining Room -
I could hear a screeching sound of a brake from Shinichi's front gate. And to my great fear, Sonoko has emerged from the limousine not long after. Followed by Sera-chan. Great. This is the first time for me to feel such terror when seeing my own best-friend, like something in my stomach has knotted itself. Not to mention, my other best-friend from Osaka has been looking at me with her hawk-like eyes that full of curiosity, waiting patiently for her target to be off guard then she will attack mercilessly. Inhaling a deep breath, I arrange my thoughts again about what I should and shouldn't say to them. Right on cue, the door had been opened with such fierce by a very excited Sonoko. And that grin that plastered on Sera-chan's face… God, can I really manage this?
Shinichi's house is unusually packed with people this morning. And between the chatter, I bet even Hakase could hear Sonoko's delighted squealscdcd coming from Kudou's house. Being ganged up by my best-friends like this is surprisingly nerve-wrecking. I found it hard to defend my self. At least, Shinichi gave an okay for me to spill whatever I want that had been happening between us. But still, I want to keep a bit of it as our own little secret. That is, if I managed to dodge the question, or they have enough pity on me.
Sonoko had begun her attack promptly once she set her butt on the couch, she doesn't even let me pour some tea for them when she asked "Sooooo… You've finally met your husband yesterday. How did that go?" with such a provocateur kind of behavior
"N-nothing much, really…" I just have to dodge as well as I can
"You know you can't give me that" she deadpanned "After such romantic confession in London, I bet something happened" she clasped her hand and outrageously mimic me "Oh, Shinichi… Now that you're here, finally I could give the answer to you…" she puckered her lips and continued "While we're at it, I'd gladly give my virgin lips, too…"
"So… Sonoko! It wasn't like that!" I can feel my cheeks burning
"Then! What was it like?" Sonoko… she looks like a leech, really…
Kazuha cut in before I could react "Yeah, tell us! You said Kudou-kun even stayed with you until morning com…"
"WHAAAT?!" comes the shriek from both Sonoko and Sera-chan
"Kazuha-chan!" ugh, I should have explained properly to Kazuha-chan first
"You and Shinichi-kun stayed the night together?" Sonoko squeaked
"Kudou-kun is here?" ugh, not Sera-chan too
"It was just a coincident that we met in the first pla… wait! Sera-chan! Where are you going?" it's my turn to squeak
"Of course to find Kudou-kun! Where's he?" she said a bit too excitedly
"Shinichi isn't here. He's been going out with Hattori-kun since this morning" I had to raise my voice as she was sprinting to the door "Oh… I see…" she halted, but… Why is she suddenly looked so gloomy? "Do you perhaps need to see Shinichi or something?" I had to make sure
"Huh? Oh, n-no… I mean, I was just curious about your boyfriend, that's all" she shrugged as if it has been nothing, but I could sense she need to see Shinichi for something serious. Hmm, maybe I should let Shinichi knows about this later.
"Huh? Why did it seem like you are so excited about Shinichi-kun being here? Do you perhaps…" Sonoko trailed off, as if scrutinizing her. I wonder what is it that makes Sonoko become this serious "Do you also happen to like him?"
… wha?
"WHAT? N-NO! That can't be!" Sera-chan waived her hands furiously, but a blush coming out on her cheeks as she says so. Sera-chan… are you really…?
"That's not it, Ran-chan. Relax" she looked into my eyes. Duh, am I really that predictable? I feel kind of guilty for some reason… "This is just about a case. Well, I'm working on this case for quite a long time now. I want his help for this case I've been trying to solve, it's too tough for me alone, so… I'm thinking of taking his advice, that's all" she also smiled this time "As what I said before, only Ran could snipe at Kudou-kun's heart, and vice-versa, okay?"
"Sera-chan…" I don't know what to say. She is such a sweet and bright girl
"Well, if you say so" Sonoko shrugged and let it go, only to attack me again "So? What had happened between your night together with your husband?" again, that leech face
Sigh. I bet I have no other option "Very well. If you want to know, I'll tell you" I could almost see Sonoko beaming "But! I need to talk privately with Kazuha-chan first!" I just dragged Kazuha-chan out to one of the guest room and slammed the door shut before start talking seriously with her
"Kazuha-chan, I have a favor I'd like to ask of you" I clenched her arm
"Sure?" she tilted her head wondering what am I about to talk in such a serious manner
"The thing that happened in the Bank, I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about it at all to both Sonoko and Sera-chan" seeing her getting more confused, I guess I should try to explain slower "I mean, I don't want to talk about that robbers and what they did… it still hurt to remember. But I'm okay now because Shinichi was there. You don't have to worry; I'll talk about it with Shinichi. Perhaps I would even make him my private punching bag" I giggled to the thought of making Shinichi my private punching bag before continuing "And about Shinichi who was in disguised. He was in some kind of undercover mission then, so it will be bad if someone out there knew he was in the Bank at that moment. I can't tell you any further reason, but it's very important to keep it as quite as possible. Please understand, Kazuha-chan…" she looked at me as if she wanted to ask further, but then she nodded and said "Actually I just want you to talk about whatever burdening you to someone, so you wouldn't have to carry the pain by yourself, that's why I called Sonoko-chan to come over, but…" she sighed, then smiled "If that's what you want, then it's okay"
"Thank you, Kazuha-chan" I hugged her
She hugged me back "I really want to see Kudou-kun as your punching bag, though" and laughed, that made me laugh too.
Really, I'm so lucky because I've been surrounded by people who cares about me. They do in their own way. Including Shinichi, of course. I mean, especially Shinichi. That stupid deduction-geek is always having his own way to express his feelings –sometimes in a weird and hard to understand way- despite how he looked from the outside, he cares. And if we look closer, he is that kind of people who will give his all to do whatever he thinks is right and worthy to fight for. How can I blame him then?
"I suggest we head back to them now, before Sonoko destroy Shinichi's furniture with rage" I'm in the middle of opening the door when Kazuha-chan grab my arm "But then, what should we say if they ask how you both have met that day?" which I answered "Leave it to me!" while winking.
Smiling, we headed back to the living room. Only to be welcomed by a very annoyed Sonoko who puffed impatiently. However, I couldn't spot Sera-chan which why I asked "Where is Sera-chan?" and welcomed by a murderous glint by Sonoko "Now, you want to talk privately with Sera-chan? Go ahead, go ahead. Who am I to you, anyway" she swung her head and sighed dramatically
"Geez! It's not like that, Sonoko! I just don't want to repeat the story over and over again. I'll go get her very quick, and why don't you serve yourself something to drink in the mean time?" before I went to search for Sera-chan I could hear Sonoko's replied "Hmph. I am not his wife. So, unlike you, I'm not familiar with this house"
"Geez, Sonoko!" that was an understatement since Sonoko has always been going in and out Shinichi's house since we were child. Well, not as often as me, but still… oh, there she is
"Sera-chan? What are you doing?"
"Huh? No, nothing really"
Well, I'm sure it's not nothing, since she's been trying to open a door to Shinichi's room "That's Shinichi's room. But its locked. He doesn't really like to have someone intruding his personal space, so…" I trailed off, not wanting to explain that I'm the one who locked it, even as per his order
"I guess. As I remembered, Kudou-kun was like that ever since. But it's a different matter if it was you, though" seeing my surprise face, she continued "I'm also a detective, you know? I know that he asked you to lock his room" with understanding smile on her face "Shall we go back now?"
I grabbed her arm before she manages to go downstairs "Sera-chan, if there is something you really need from Shinichi, I could…" I trailed off, thinking what could I do?
Well, I could give her Shinichi's number –of course after I asked his permission first- so that she could discuss her 'case' directly with him. Or I could call him now with my phone so that she doesn't has to call him herself. Or I could inform Shinichi that she need his advice, so that perhaps Shinichi would call her back? Or… "It's okay, Ran-chan. You don't have to do all that" smiling, she strode back to dining room "He is smart. So I know he picked my clue already"
Huh? What did she say?
I don't know why, but suddenly I feel very aware of something. Sera-chan said she has been giving Shinichi clues for her case, that means she knows how to communicate with him, or she has already done it. But Shinichi hasn't told me his interaction with Sera-chan, aside from him remembering that we have met her before. And I doubted she knows Shinichi's phone number or email address. So, how on earth…?
That leave only one possibility. And that possibility made me feel my stomach whirls itself. Does she aware of who Conan really is? How come?
With all that thoughts and possibility I'm thinking about, I didn't aware that we're already back to dining room, where Sonoko and Kazuha-chan has been waiting eagerly for me to begin the story. I made a mental note that I had to talk with Shinichi about Sera-chan and what she had said, just in case.
flashback
- Saturday, 07.10 A.M. Kudou Residence, Kudou Shinichi's Room -
I could hear someone talking in the back of my head, at first I couldn't really get what they were saying, but as I heard the familiar voice emerged from one of the voices behind, I snapped my eyes open. Only to wonder where is this place? It's not my room, but the surroundings feel so familiar. Added with this strong but calming scent that filled my nose, the feeling of uneasiness had vanished, replaced with a pleasure and a comfort kind of feeling.
Remembering what had happened last nigh, a slight blush crept my cheek. I am well aware now. I am in Shinichi's room, laying peacefully on his bed, and I'm sure I was hugging him until recently. To be precise, until his parents opened the door and woke him up –I believe I could hear some teasing coming from Yukiko-obasan- which he replied with grumbling and somehow I'm sure his cheeks were red too, judging from his stammering voice.
I didn't dare presenting my self in that kind of state, especially to my boyfriend's parents. Whatever excuses I have, I don't believe I can even manage to greet them a good morning without spilling what happened the night before between us. So I thought closing back my eyes would rather be a wise decision.
"Geez, Mom! You are the one who suggest this bed-sharing idea. You don't need to explain to me about what I should or shouldn't do" he sighed
"Oh well, whatever happened, happened" hearing Yukiko-obasan's voice, I could almost manage to imagine her sly grin
"Do you really think we wouldn't find out, Shinichi?" the usually calm and manly voice of Shinichi's father seems like a mocking tone to me, I wonder why?
"Wait…! Where did you get that key from?" I can sense a jolt beside me as Shinichi abruptly jumped out of the bed
"I am still the original owner of this house, my boy" that wasn't just my imagination;
Shinichi's father really mocking him, and now he is laughing his heart out
"Dad!" somehow I could sense that a horrifying things would happen
"~No need to be shy, Shin-chan! Hohoho…" what are they talking about?
"You need to restrain yourself better, Shinichi" why didn't Shinichi say anything?
"I am sure I had taught you to be a gentleman Shin-chan, but still… for you to be doing that to Ran-chan…" What? What did they… How could they know…?
"And what exactly did I do?" I knew Shinichi was challenging them back, as an image of his smirking face flashed my head, with his detective-mode tone of voice.
After seems like eternity, I finally could hear Shinichi's father sighed in some kind of a resignation voice? "Okay, okay. We lost" huh? Was this a competition from the start? "You've gotten better each time. I'm proud of you, my son"
"What? We've lost already?" said Yukiko-obasan in a dejected voice
"Since when did you realized this key is a fake?" a fake key? What does it have to do with…
"The fact that you only flashed the key for a brief moment rather than showing it to me in a full view, and the fact that the size is a bit different. Also, the pattern is different. The real one has a symmetrical pattern on both side of the lock, unlike this one that has a bigger side to it" Shinichi said all that in a calmer tone
"I see. So you've made a precaution, huh?"
"It was necessary"
"You are the one who wanted a camera surveillance installed in your own room, so you have to be prepared for what it caused too, Shinichi" … what? He installed a camera? In his own room?
"That's why I made it only I have access to the control room" he really went to that length?
"Then, don't forget to mention this to Ran-chan. In case she changes here, unless… don't tell me you intentionally want to see her naked?" WHAAT?!
"Mom!" is that true, Shinichi?
"Come on dear, we don't want to wake Ran-chan up, do we?" I swear I could sense Shinichi's father's gaze piercing my back
"We'll wait in the study. You have 15 minutes to be ready~" she shouted
"… Geez! What a handful parents!"
When I heard the door closing, I shot up from the bed. I intended to kick Shinichi out with my fine leg, but at seeing his warm smile directed at me, somehow my leg won't move
"Sorry about that. And before you kick me, I was planning to tell you about the camera. But well…" he scratched his cheek "I told you so many things already last night. I want you to take it easy. It was just me being over careful; paranoid even" he strode back to the bed and sat beside me, putting away stranded hair out my face "Just in case, go change in toilet okay? Unless…" he didn't let it finished as he kissed me. I lost count on how many kisses we shared already. Oh well, I don't mind, but "Shinichi, your parent's waiting…"
"I still had 12 minutes. Besides, mom knows I only need 3 minutes to change" smirking, he slowly pushed me back to his bed.
"Shin… Shinichi, what are you…?" I could never finish my statement every time he do this. Not like I'm complaining, but I haven't been able to get used to this side of him. This Shinichi is new to me. I thought I should get a grip. Well, I know that eventually we will get 'there' but this is too much to handle for the current me. I mean, we used to be together a lot, but never like this: sprawled in the bed in the morning after spending the night together, kissing passionately in every possible moment, murmuring love and passion -when our mouth wasn't busy enough with other activities- to each other, and absolutely zero personal space with a lot of skinship here and there.
I didn't know that Shinichi could become this romantic spoiled AND needy; need to touch, need to cuddle, need to kiss me, and any other similar things.
Yes, I was in kind of a shock –I guess bewildered is more fitted to describe how I feel- for a moment. But the rest of it? I'm happy and I feel blessed.
Ever since he told me everything that made me aware of his predicament, I came to a conclusion that whatever happened, happen. I will treasure every second with him, doing whatever I always want to do. I am his girlfriend now, so only I get the privilege of doing these things with him. And I'm not gonna let it in vain nor I would take it for granted again.
Shyness? I still get that a lot, but my deep feeling for him overcome it. Besides I wouldn't want everything to turn awkward between us. All modesty would only slow us down and I wouldn't want it. I get to admit that if Shinichi want me to strip, I'd gladly do it. I'd even throw my innocence if its with him and I'm sure of it. It wasn't a stupid little crush between us anymore. When it's time to up the game, I won't back down. That has become my resolution.
And since I've been signaling this new resolution of mine to him, my clever boyfriend didn't miss it indeed.
"…What?" his husky voice cracked the silent morning "Shinichi no baka (stupid Shinichi) …" I deliberately made my voice hushed in his ear "You can't undress me so early in the morning" I feel him shuddering as I spotted a Goosebumps on his neck "We've got a lot of things to do today, remember?"
He stared with his blue orbs that feel like a sunshine to my day "That can be wait" he said before he dipped his head to my neck, savoring my scent and warmth that are still there because of the comfort slumber "I really like how you smell in the morning. It's so you" I groan a little as he bites the flesh in between my crook gently "It's pure yet sexy and addicting" he added before swarming his hands on top of my breasts while exploring my skin with his lips.
I noted that he still couldn't easily unhook my bra, whether it was because he felt nervous or he was just too absorbed in placing an open-mouth kisses in my cleavage. So I helped him.
I knew he was enjoying the sight since I could sense his breath faltered and his pupil dilated in an awe "Oh God, Ran…" I see that this is the first time he could see me in this state; half naked and panting –despite what brave thing I just did, my heart still refuse to slow it pace down- illuminated by rays of shine from the window that made the viewpoint clearer and brighter than last night.
I could hear him sputtering some nonsense about being in a disadvantageous side as Conan all this time make him Thanked the God for letting him have this once in a lifetime chance; and to make his dreams comes true between the kisses he planted to one of my breasts. Also some cursing from his mouth about how his teenager's hormones made him sinful and blessed in the same time when he brought his hands into play.
That sensation he made with the tip of his tongue in my nipples catches me off-guard, as a wave of pleasure covering my body. His rough fingertip made a blast to the other side of my breasts that made me mewled and plead for him to repeat it again and again.
He whispered my name continuously while I gasped his. The heat of the moment is getting into us as I watched him yanked his pajama top and tossed it to the side, before comeback with vengeance to explore me with kisses and touches. Shinichi's body were glued onto mine, leaving no space except for the thin fabric of our pajamas. At that very moment, I could feel something hard pressed the area around my thighs, and traveled up my bellybutton in the same time with Shinichi moving up to catch me in a numb-making kiss. I had a vague idea of what it was. Thus, it made my heart beat faster with excitement and anticipation.
But all that sensation had washed away in a second when a blaring sound made its way towards our eardrum, making us halt all of our movements.
Shinichi then slammed the annoying alarm off while pointing a death glare towards it as if telling he's gonna break it into pieces soon after he got himself a hammer.
As he darted his eyes back towards me, he sighed and flopped himself above, curling his arms around my back for a moment before he kissed my forehead saying "Time is out"
He looked into my eyes with this soft gaze "I'll be back, though. Be ready!" before left to the bathroom, leaving me blushing and panting while squeaking all by my self.
- Saturday, 11.05 A.M. Kudou Residence, Dining Room -
"Whatever it is you are thinking now, it didn't go that far, Sonoko!" geez, how many times do I have to repeat that to her?
"You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" she loomed her face in front of mine, trying to collect whatever it is that I was hiding from her. Well, I told them about this morning, minus the camera thing, of course. Perhaps that is what intrigued her "You didn't tell us everything" as she said that, Kazuha-chan chirped "Of course! Ran-chan haven't told us about the night when Kudou-kun nursed her… Oh" gasping, she shut her mouth.
Oh, great…
"Nursed? Do you by any chance hurt yourself? Speaking about it, you haven't use your right arm much" there comes Sera-chan's comment, which triggered Sonoko's "That's right! What happened to the bruise over here too? It wasn't from your karate practise" she traced the patch on my cheek, that made me wince
"Oh, this was nothing. You see, when we hang out with Hattori-kun yesterday, we happen to bump with some robbers in the bank. It turns out to be a bit of a serious situation we're in" I tried to explain as simple as I can, leaving out the detailed information when Sera-chan said "Don't tell me you were in the bank with the robbers who blew up the building?"
"Yes, the three of us were there. Well actually, only Kazuha-chan and Hattori-kun were inside the bank when the first bomb had blown. I was out of their radar but I couldn't go out as I were trapped inside the building. I made an attempt to sneak out, but one of them caught me. That was when I got this bruises" Sonoko gasped and hugged me when I continued "I was out for a moment. When I finally woke up, Hattori-kun had already evacuate all of the hostages. So Kazuha-chan and I follow him to the back door, and we manage to get home with Subaru-san's help" I was planning to tell them we get out from the front door, but somehow I know Sera-chan will dig up about this case. And if she manages to know that we weren't inside one of the hostages as I said we were, she will get more curious. So I need to explain what had happened truthfully, but careful enough not to let delicate information slipped.
"Why did you get to the backdoor instead of mixing with other hostages in evacuation point?" as I thought, it got to Sera-chan's
"We intended to, but as Hattori-kun goes missing, we couldn't help but to look after him first. That's when we met Subaru-san. Apparently, he was also there but unlike me, he successfully sneaked out and called for a help. So we just followed his instruction to sneak out from the back door with him" Sera-chan only nodded while listening to my explanation when Sonoko cut in "Don't tell me the one who saved you from the backdoor happened to be your husband?" her giggling somehow annoyed me "That's right! Shinichi happened to be near the backdoor with his mother. So they brought me, Kazuha-chan, and Subaru-san on her car, while Hattori-kun stayed to inform the police" I was going to continue when Sonoko cut in again "Hee… So you finally admitted Shinichi-kun IS your husband, huh?" I gaped for a moment, but before I could make any confirmation about it, Sonoko cut in again "Let's skip the boring one. Just tell us already what had happened between you and Shinichi-kun afterwards?"
"Yes! Yes! I wanted to know what had happened after I left the room?" now Kazuha-chan chirped, I could saw the relieved face of hers when the story about the robbery ended "You know? I was there when Kudou-kun knocked and entered his room. Oh, Sonoko-chan! If only you saw that face of him when he looked at Ran-chan!"
"What? What kind of face did he make?" Sonoko asked curiously
"It's kinda hard to describe; but that soft gaze, that warm smile, it's so full of love! It's as if he is stating his love for Ran-chan only by looking at her! Gosh, it melted my heart too ~" was that a blush on Kazuha-chan's face am I seeing now?
"I bet it kinda got to him seeing his beloved wounded" it's Sera-chan's turn "Every human male has this kind of 'wanting to protect their mate partner in order to keep their offspring safe' subconscious sense planted inside their mind; a gift from our ancestor to prevent human kind from extinction. That makes it sensible if he wants to hasten himself at securing his descendant by being together with you" I got to see her smirk clearly as she stated this "In other words, he would want to have sex with you. More than before"
I could only gape –and blush furiously- at hearing Sera-chan's, ahem, vulgar explanation. It made me remember about what Shinichi had been sputtering then –about hormonal kicked in upon being his teenager self back and something about a proverbial sentences of subconscious instinct of being male- that makes sense now. Well, what we had been doing that night was already a dead giveaway of what will happen next, though.
"Looks like someone's been reminiscing about that special moments ~" Sonoko's teasing made me come back to earth. I mean, we are in the middle of talking about that kind of thing, so it was only natural for me to blush, okay? Not to mention, this is Shinichi we are talking about. And all that things HE had done yesterday night, there is no way I could still manage to calm myself down!
"Come on, tell us already! What did Kudou-kun do that night?" Kazuha-chan squeaked into my ear
"I bet he kissed you. He did, didn't he?" Ugh, Sonoko and that leech-like smile of hers
"I can hardly guess what he did" then comes Sera-chan's smirk
"He… uhh, he…" I could only look at the floor "He… did. Shinichi kissed me"
"KYAAAAA~" both Sonoko and Kazuha-chan screams their lungs at the news, only Sera-chan remained calm
"What was it like? Kissing him, I mean?" Kazuha-chan asked promptly
"It… it felt… really good…?" as I was trailing, Sonoko pressed further explanation "Oh come on, Ran! Tell us already, what kind of kissing did you guys do?" Sonoko could really good at interrogating people like this "Well, it was just a simple lips touching… at first…" Gosh! What should I tell them? "I… I mean. I imagined our first wouldn't… I mean, it wasn't supposed to be like THAT, but..." I can't! my heart can't take it! Oh God…
It was Sera-chan's turn, she smirked knowingly "I bet he did more than just a simple peck on the lips?"
"I'm not so sure. I mean, it was like a blur to me. Especially when he licked my lower lips in between our kisses, I was just…" Gosh! What am I spouting? "I mean; I couldn't think at all! It just happened"
"What's just happened?" Sonoko pushed further and further for detail
"He… he used his…" I'm not sure I can spell it right
"He used his tongue while kissing you?!" Sonoko grabbed my shoulder "Really?!" shaking me using her two hands now
"He did that?! Oh. My. Gosh!" Kazuha-chan had all the red color on her face, well, I can't blame her though
"Kazuha-chan, don't make it sounds like that, please!" I cried
"Well, of course she did! You just told us he french-kissed you! On your firsts, too!" Sera-chan was like… oh, forget it
"Woah, woah… Hold on! I can't believe Shinichi-kun had the gut to do so! I mean, he was as passionate as a dead fish* up until now!" really, Sonoko…
Sera-chan made that iconic thinking position when she said "Maybe that was the cause instead. He was like suppressing his feelings all this time, right? So, when he finally gets the green signal, he stomped on the gas in a wild run" Eh, really?
"Yeah, you could put it like that, too. But still, I didn't see Kudou-kun as some hot-blooded-hormones-driven that makes him a running-wild-teenager who will attacks his childhood friend once-they-get-set-into-being-lover kind of person" what a way to say it, Kazuha-chan
"Well, perhaps he was tired of being that good-for-nothing-loser that wasn't brave enough to make further progress with his crush since childhood?" again, what's with that wording you guys? I could almost pity Shinichi here
"Either way, Kudou-kun made some big step, don't you think so?" I don't pay attention to whom talking about what in this state anymore
"Wait! We can't make any conclusion just from this information. We have to dig up further to be able to wraps the situation clearly. Supported by a solid proof would be better"
"Leave the digging up to me! Soooo, Ran ~ what else did Shinichi-kun do?"
"Huh?" my head feels dizzy; I know my face is burning it feels so hot I had to fanned myself
"Come on, we all know it usually started with only a light kiss. But in no time, you'll find yourself naked in his arms"
"Na… nak… naked? No! I… I had my clothes on! He… he buttoned back the pajama!"
Silent
…
GAH…!
Oh my Gosh! What am I?
"He what?"
"Buttoned back?"
"You were…?"
…
"WHAAAAATT?!" what an ear-piercing chorus
"Ran-chan, don't tell me…"
"He did what?!"
"What did you guys do?"
I wish I could dig up a hole right then and there, and buried myself deep in it.
Since I know I can't, I would just take a deep breath, relax myself, re-arrange my thought, and be done with it!
"No, we didn't go that far. I mean, we hadn't had… sex…" almost did, but "Shinichi had stopped before we get to the point where we couldn't stop it" there is no other way than to tell them everything now. My mistakes, I know "That time, he said: Ran, I really want you to be mine right now. But I know this wasn't right. This wasn't how it supposed to be -in a rush, I mean- You deserve so much better than this. I want to cherish you, coz you really precious to me. So, let's take it slowly, shall we?"
Taking another deep breath, I continued "Honestly, I feel a bit down. But also relieved and happy in the same time. It was so complicated I don't know how to describe it"
After a long silence, I decieded to tell them how I feel "I love Shinichi. Knowing that he also feels the same was what matters the most to me. Knowing that I'm important to him was also something I really wished for along this time. So, I wouldn't ask for anything anymore"
After digesting what I had said, Sera-chan finally break the silence "Then, he didn't force himself on you, did he?" she asked, looked a little like a concerned father
"Of course he didn't! He wouldn't do something I wouldn't want" I feel the urge to defend him somehow
Kazuha-chan cut in "Then, you let him because you also want it?" oh great. Me and my big mouth
"I… I wanted it" pausing, I decided to be true to myself and my friends "I want him to do things… to me…" God! What a confession I made! What if Shinichi hear what I said? It embarrassed me to death!
"I knew it! You finally confessed! Takes you long enough, years even!" comes Sonoko's delighted voice
"Well, we weren't official until recently" I heard myself stuttering when Kazuha-chan agreed "I know how it felt, Ran-chan. It's not an easy task to break a line between love and friends" when we saw a grief in her face, Sonoko and I could only hug her "Kazuha-chan…" followed by a pat in the shoulder by Sera-chan "Seeing Ran-chan, you only have to have faith on yourself, Kazuha-san" she said
Then, Sonoko abruptly smirk while saying "It's true you had to have faith on yourself. But sometimes, man needs to be pushed to take action, you know? All we had to do is giving them the right trigger" seeing Kazuha-chan in a dazed, she continued "Leave it to Love-strategist, Sonoko the Cupid!" what a horrendous name you have there, Sonoko.
Hahahaha…