A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. ^_^ I'm glad you enjoyed the story. And well, here's the next! Cheers!
Chapter 2: Breaking the Heart
"Iruka."
The chunin glanced up from the mission report he was looking through. "Yes?"
Izumo frowned. "Are you alright?"
The academy teacher blinked confusedly. "Huh?"
"Are you alright?" Izumo leaned forward and studied his friend's face. "You look pale."
"I'm fine." Iruka smiled. "Just a little tired. Perhaps it's due to having to stay up late the last couple of days grading the students' assignments."
The long-haired chunin frowned. "I was thinking more along the line of you look like you could do with some chilling out." Shrugging, he straightened himself. "Do you want to join us for some drinks tonight?"
"Probably not." Iruka stacked the reports on his desk and placed it in a neat pile. "I'm looking forward to an early rest tonight."
"Iruka, lately you've been –"
"Izumo-san, Iruka-sensei!" A feminine voice disrupted their conversation. Both men turned to regard the speaker.
"Shizune-san." Iruka smiled at the dark-haired lady. "Orders from Hokage-sama?"
"Yes." The Hokage's assistant placed a scroll on the table. "Here is a mission for Raidou and Aoba. Please prepare the necessary paper work and issue it to them. Tsunade-sama had enough of them lounging in the waiting room doing nothing."
Izumo chuckled and took the scroll, scrutinizing it. "B-rank? Looks like Hokage-sama's really eager to get them out of her sight."
"There haven't been much high-ranked missions going around." Shizune sighed. "The council is beginning to complain that the Leaf's jounin are lazing around. Tsunade-sama has to get them to do something before the council starts breathing down her neck."
"We will send the jounin on their way." Iruka stood from his seat with a smile. "Come on, Izumo, we've got work to do."
"Right." The other chunin gave a toothy grin.
"Well, I will be off then. I will come by later with other orders." Shizune smiled. "Oh yes, Iruka-sensei, since you are going over to the waiting room, do help me see if Kurenai-sensei is there. If she is, tell her to see Tsunade-sama at four pm. She has something she needs to clarify regarding her team's last mission report."
"Sure." Iruka smiled and picked up some folders. "I will let her know if I see her."
"Great. I will see you two around then."
The two chunin bowed politely as the dark-haired assistant made her exit. Sighing, both men gathered up the necessary documents and headed for the waiting room.
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The jounin sat around in the lounge by the mission room, boredom evident on some of the faces. Asuma chewed absently on his cigarette as he stared blankly at the ceiling. Anko and Genma flittered around the shinobi, trying to get their comrades to place money in their betting pool. Gai talked on about the beauty of youth in the middle of the room, not bothered with the fact that no one was actually listening. Yamato was chatting idly with some other jounin while Kakashi lounged by the window, reading his book for the hundredth time.
The lounge door slid open and two chunin stepped into the room, surveying the group. The jounin turned silent immediately and watched Iruka and Izumo eagerly as they waited for their names to be called for missions.
"Aoba-san, Raidou-san, Hokage-sama has a mission for the both of you." Iruka bowed politely to his superiors as they approached and returned his greeting. The two jounin followed them out and the door was closed behind them.
Genma raised an eyebrow the moment the door slid shut. "Say, you guys know that chunin right?"
"Which one?" A random jounin leaned forward in the couch, eyeing Genma curiously.
"Umino Iruka. There, the one who mans the mission desk, who works in the academy and he has this scar across his nose."
Anko eyed her friend lazily. "What about Iruka?"
"New betting pool, Anko." Genma grinned. "I'm betting that Iruka likes someone here."
"And who would that be?" Anko's eyes twinkled with interest.
Genma tilted his head to the side and glanced at the copy nin who was reading his book, not bothering about what was going on in the rest of the room.
"Kakashi? You are kidding!" Anko frowned.
Genma grinned. "I'm pretty sure. Have you seen how he always looked at Kakashi when he thought no one was looking?"
Anko snorted. "I'm willing to bet that Iruka has much better taste than that."
"Kakashi is a pretty much eligible bachelor, Anko. Girls are falling at his feet just trying to ask him out. He just doesn't respond to anyone of them." Genma grinned. "Though what surprises me more is that Umino actually falls for him. Does he honestly think he can win Kakashi's affection if the entire village's girls can't even get Kakashi to look twice at them? And not to mention that Kakashi is way beyond his rank."
"That's mean, Genma." Kurenai frowned. "Iruka-sensei may be a chunin, but he is a respectable shinobi. Moreover, he is well-loved in this village."
Genma shrugged. "I'm just stating facts. I mean, look around. When have you ever seen a lasting relationship between a jounin and a chunin? They are just too different in their thinking, actions and the group they hang out with. And jounin are by nature, fickle. I would bet Kakashi has tons of bed partners that we never know about. And really, Iruka is a little too plain for our copy nin's taste. I don't think it's any secret that as long as Kakashi opens his mouth to ask, he would have hoards of good-looking men and women to choose from. Why would he want to commit himself into a relationship with Iruka?
Murmurs of agreements were heard. Anko's eyes narrowed. "Genma, I dare you to repeat that again."
"Anko, you can't deny that fact." One of the other jounin mused. The serpent user shot a glare that immediately shut the man up.
"Genma, you may be right on the part that there's too much difference between a jounin and a chunin. But, do you have to put down Iruka-sensei like this?" Kurenai frowned. "I do think he does have his own charisma."
"Kurenai's right. And don't put all jounin in the same category as you, Genma. Not everyone is fickle-minded." Asuma snorted. "And besides, I don't get why you guys are arguing over there when Kakashi is right here and you can simply ask him what his views are to this issue."
Anko scowled and Genma smirked. The honey-haired jounin strode over to where his friend was seated comfortably and clapped a hand down on Kakashi's shoulder, ignoring the glare thrown his way as he sat down in the couch.
"Say Kakashi, what do you think about what we have just said? Who do you agree with?"
The silver-haired jounin turned back to his book. "I wasn't paying attention to your nonsense."
"Well then, tell me what do you think about going into a relationship with Iruka-sensei?"
Kakashi flipped a page in his book. "And what has that got to do with you?"
"Everything." Genma smirked. "Because, it's plaintively obvious that Iruka is interested in you, but you never spared that poor guy a second glance. So if you would do a kind deed, make yourself clear now so that his friends over there can start hinting to him to give up on you." The jounin gestured in the general direction where Anko and Kurenai were sitting.
The copy nin's eye narrowed. "Genma, Iruka-sensei is a colleague. I would prefer if you guys stop making such malicious comments behind his back. If you have so much time on hand, why don't you make yourself useful and find something to do? I'm sure the village could do with some of your help."
Genma grinned. "So, you do only think of Iruka-sensei as a colleague and nothing more?"
The silver brows knitted together and the tone held a hint of warning behind it. "Genma."
"Fine." Genma raised his hands to placate the man. "I just wanted to make sure that you don't hurt another innocent person who doesn't know about your preferences."
"There's no one to hurt here, Genma."
"There is, Kakashi. If you don't make yourself clear, you are going to hurt Iruka next." Genma's expression turned serious, not even bothering about the curious looks that the others were shooting their way. "Spare him the agony. If you are not interested, don't lead him on. No one can keep up with your games."
"First of all, Genma, I don't play games." Kakashi glared. "Secondly, I never did lead him on in anything. Thirdly, I repeat myself. Iruka-sensei is a colleague. And he is one that I respect. That's all, nothing more, nothing less. I don't see myself in a relationship. Not with him, not with anyone else. Whatever happens in the future, I don't want to speculate and neither do I have the time to do that."
Everyone was silent as the copy nin stood from his seat and made his way to the exit. No one commented on what was being said but they knew that was as good as a blatant rejection. Their eyes followed Genma as he strode over to Anko with a shrug and a 'ask him to give it up' muttered under his breath.
Asuma stood from his seat as Kakashi made his way towards the door. He casted a glance at the group and sighed. "Well, I guess from Kakashi's choice of books, we do know which gender he prefers anyway."
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The tanned hand slipped from its grasp on the door's handle. Iruka stood outside the waiting room, unable to react to what he had just heard. All he could feel was the pain in his chest that was increasing at a rapid rate and it was threatening to engulf his entire being.
He hadn't meant to listen in on the conversation that had been going on in the group of jounin, but he had forgotten to leave the message for Kurenai and was just heading back when he had heard what was being said.
He felt his heart clenched so tightly that it was hard to breathe. Whatever Genma, Asuma or the other jounin had said hadn't hurt as much as Kakashi's denial. He was just a colleague in the eyes of the copy nin. Then, what did all those late night meetings mean? What about all those promises and loving words that the older man had said? Was it all part of the act to keep him in this lie that Kakashi had so skillfully wove?
He didn't know if he should hate Genma or thank the man. Kakashi had never openly denied their involvements before and that was probably because no one had ever openly confronted the copy nin about what his thoughts were to be in a relationship with Iruka. But today, because of Genma and his candid ways, Iruka finally got a glimpse of where he stood; finally had the realization dawned on him that whatever had been said had all been lies; that there would never be a 'us' with him and Kakashi and that the jounin never had the intention to go into a deeper relationship with him.
Tears threatened. Iruka felt numb with the entire situation. He should have known what he was to the jounin all along; should have known that the great copy nin would never set his eyes on him; a plain, simple chunin. The fact that Kakashi would never acknowledge their relationship in public was already telling enough and yet, he had allowed himself to foolishly believe those promises that the older man had made, believed that one day, those 'give me some time', 'I will make it right' and 'I promise I will make this official soon' would come true.
He heard shuffling from the other side of the door, but his mind was whirling with so much thoughts that he could barely bring himself to react or step away from the place.
=-=-=-=
Kurenai sighed and stood from her seat when Asuma signaled for her to follow. The three jounin made their way towards the door and Kakashi reached out to slide the door open.
He froze the moment the door opened, revealing the person on the other side.
"Iruka……"
Asuma smacked a hand over his forehead and sighed. Kurenai let out a gasp and swallowed hard, wondering how much the younger man had heard.
The chunin raised his head to look at the three stunned jounin before him. In the room, everyone had turned silent when his name was mentioned. Iruka took a minute to collect himself as he took in a deep breath and managed a smile. He turned towards Kurenai and totally avoided eye contact with Kakashi, knowing that there was no way he could look at the older man now and hold back his emotions at the same time. "Kurenai-sensei, I have a message for you from Hokage-sama."
The kunoichi nodded hesitantly. "Ye…. Yes?"
"Hokage-sama would like to see you later at four pm to review your last mission report." Iruka spoke on auto-pilot, as he tried to stem the pain in his heart. "There are some areas she requires clarifications in."
"Right." Kurenai smiled nervously. "Iruka-sensei, don't mind them, you know –"
"If there's nothing else, Kurenai-sensei," Iruka cut in softly. "Please excuse me. I still have plenty of work to do."
Asuma and Kurenai watched, stunned as the chunin turned and walked away. Kakashi felt a sense of guilt rising up in him. Iruka, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered anymore about manners or the feelings of others, because really, how much can he afford to care when his entire world was crumbling down?
=-=-=-=
Kakashi did not turn up that night. Iruka couldn't bring himself to care. What had he expect? That the copy nin would apologize? Would reassure him? It doesn't matter because everything would still turn out to be a lie. Everything Kakashi had said; every single promise, every loving word and gesture had all been a deceit to lure him into the copy nin's game.
The tears rolled quietly down his face. He had enough. Enough of crying, enough of feeling hurt. But yet, he couldn't stop. Fallen in too deep and he couldn't pull himself out of it in time to avoid the heartbreak. He couldn't even blame anyone for his predicament, because he had been the one to willingly be drawn into the jounin's lie.
'What am I to you, Kakashi? What are we?'
He didn't even want to think about that because he knew, he had the answer long ago. He just hadn't wanted to accept it because he had held the hope that Kakashi truly loved him. But he knew better now than to keep believing it.
Perhaps it's time to put a stop to this farce. He knew he couldn't keep up with this anymore. It had been more than half a year since they first started this association. If there had been any hope that it would evolve into something more, it would have happened already.
'It hurts. So badly. Did you really have to lie to me like this?'
The silent tears did not stop, but the chunin had reached a decision he knew he should have made long ago. Though at that moment, it tore him up more than anything else. The sobs choked him as his tears fell onto the pillow, forming a wet patch on the soft cloth.
And on the roof across from the apartment, Kakashi stood, watching through the window and trying to ignore the surging pain in his chest as the pair of mismatched eyes watched Iruka cry himself to sleep; knowing that there is nothing he can do to alleviate the chunin's pain.
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