He made my life so enjoyable and I let him slip away...I Adam Lambert let Tommy Joe Ratliff slip away. Sacrifice. Ever since that day I got off the phone with Lily (Tommy's mum) I never ever forgave myself. If I hadn't of listened and left, he might still of been alive to this day...who knows we could've even maybe of ran into each other one day, if he were still here...but no I let him go.

I remember when I woke up the next day for school after meeting Tommy, I could barely wait to see him. I woke up TWO hours early JUST for school, yes TWO hours. I had just met him...yet he made me feel like I was something. I remember that morning so clearly, I was so excited to go to school I ran into my mother's bedroom yelling, "Mum, mum, wake up! I have a friend that likes me & I want to go to school early and wait for him!"

I still giggle every now and then at my innocence. My mother was just glad that I had found a friend, so she got up from bed smiling and replied hugging me, "that's great honey...I'll tell you what, I'll pack your friend a sandwich and popper aswell."

I remember feeling so happy and excited, it was quite silly how great I was feeling...but Tommy was the only person who had ever been that nice to me apart from my brother and parents, there was something special about him. After my mum had packed my lunch I threw my bag over my shoulder and then raced out the door blowing my mum a kiss (yes i m a mummy's boy okay don't judge.)

I arrived at the school gates and I remember nearly jumping for joy...Tommy was waiting at the school gate for me. I quickly rushed up to him and basically blurted out, "Hey Tommy!"

It was quite embarrassing actually...I managed to turn Tommy crimson just by talking...great I thought to myself. Tommy then laughed replying, "Hey Adam...wows your happy today." I flashed him smile back and we then walked into school to ho to our classes. Unfortunately Tommy was only in my English and history classes and those were two of the subjects I didn't have that day, so when the bell rang for class we said our goodbyes and as he left for class he shook my hand...I thought that was weird since we are teenagers not business men.

But I then soon realized he had left a note in my hand, to meet him on the grass oval at the start of our first lunch break. I was so excited and I didn't even really know why... I guess it was because today at recess I would be sitting next to someone and not just someone but a awfully special cute someone I had to admit.

The bell then rang for our first lunch break I was so excited I ran as fast as I could out of class but was then shortly stopped by the group of boys who always hassle me.

"HEY PRETTY BOY, WHERE YOU GOING?" the group questioned holding me by the jacket. I was too stupid and naive back then so replied, "Just going to meet my friend, can you please let me go now...?"

Big mistake...

The boys then started laughing and dragged me away into the boy's bathroom and tied me up to one of the stalls. "Naw looks like your boy friend is going to miss you today." they said as they then left me there.

I felt so bad...all I could think about what Tommy must've been thinking, he probably thought I didn't like him or wanted nothing to with him...when the truth was I think I was developing a bit of a crush on him. I struggled to let myself loose but failed several times...I was so worried how I would get back to class! How would I get home! Then all of a sudden an answer to my prayers, Tommy walked in.

I was so happy he had walked in (out of all people) that was until he hadn't noticed me hanging there over one of the stalls and began to unzip his pants to use the 'Wall'. Oh great...can this get any worse. How weird would it be if I saw his Ya know what...crap what do I do...this is real awkward! Before I could think I just simply coughed and called out 'Uh Tommy...' He then quickly turned around and noticed me hanging there, he quickly ran over to me, "oh gosh Adam I'm so sorry I didn't see you...hmm so this is why you aren't out on the oval with me"

I slightly blushed then replying, "Hehe Uh yea that would be the reason." Tommy then untied the knots and held out his arms in case I fell. I thanked him for letting me free and then when We were about to walk out of the toilets, I remembered something, "um Tommy I didn't mean to be prying or anything but didn't you need to go to the toilet...and then I interrupted you..." I felt so weird saying that I swear I felt like a tomato.

Tommy just turned to me basically breaking out into tears of laughter, "oh yea haha I forgot oops, excuse for one sec, just wait outside for Me." he replied. I then made my way outside...I was so thankful he had heard me in time I mean whoa that would've been EXTREMELY wrong if I saw his parts.

He then walked out of the toilets wiping his wet hands on his shorts, "who did this...?" he questioned.

I didn't want Tommy to get into trouble like he did the other day, so I refused to tell him. He was about to keep bugging me about it, but then the bell for our next two classes rang so I thanked him again, apologized for nearly seeing his parts and walked away.

All through my classes before lunch I couldn't stop thinking about Tommy and what all the other guys say about me...was it true, am I gay? And if I was...who for...Tommy? I was so confused back then, I had no Idea who or what I was feeling...maybe I had it all wrong and I was just happy to have a friend.

Interrupting me from my thoughts the lunch bell had then rung, this time I walked over to the oval and took the long way, just in case those bastards were still hanging around waiting for me. I looked over at the oval where I was supposed to be meeting Tommy but he wasn't there, just as I was starting to think he ditched me already I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I then turned quickly to see who it was and my eyes met the very same chocolate brown eyes that made my heart skip a beat just the other day.

"Follow me..." he gestured.

So I took his word and followed him, Tommy then led us both to the grass field behind the school buildings. He then Pointed over to a tree and smiled, "Come...let's go sit over there that way no one will find us and be a bother"

We had both then sat under the tree and started eating our lunches, he thought it was really sweet and hilarious that my mother had made him a sandwich, gee thanks mum...I must look like an idiot now, I remember thinking to myself.

As we were eating our lunch I remember Tommy asking me again, why I was so happy this morning because usually I was always walking with my face facing the ground. I was so shy and naive it wasn't funny back then, "I am so happy today because I found a friend i really like." I replied to him.

Tommy then giggles back, "oh is that right Adam, so what is this Friend's name is?" he then winked.

Haha I remember every time he winked, he always seemed to crinkle his nose up and it was so adorable I could've just melted in front of him, I then replied back to him almost blushing, "Tommy Joe Ratliff..."

"oh I see...so who said we are friends" he answered back sounding serious.

My jaw fell, I felt so embarrassed and hurt I just wanted to cry. What I didn't realize was that he was only joking. So I got up in shock and began to walk away, ready to just break down...now that I think about it my reaction was pretty priceless. As I was walking I felt a hand grab mine and spin me around...it was Tommy!

"Dude! Where are you going? You know I was only joking right...?" Tommy said with puzzled eyes.

I felt like such an idiot my eyes widened, "ohh right oops so we are still friends?" I questioned.

Tommy let out a little giggle and smiled, "yes Adam we are still friends..."

You know what's funny...I only now just realized from remembering back to this day, that when Tommy had spun me around to stop me from leaving he never let my hand go.