Attachment Syndrome:
Timeline: This story takes place roughly four and a half weeks after Countdown, which, in this universe, took place in January. The story starts around the middle of February. After having postponed his trip, Josh asked Kate to go to Haiti with him for six weeks, and, in a last ditch attempt to make things work, Kate said yes. Last chapter, Kate returned from her trip two weeks early, with a baby named Johanne.
Chapter 2:
"Dad?"
Castle grunts, dropping the large crib box by the door. "Hey, sweetie. You just get up?"
Alexis nods and takes the final few steps down the stairs, socked feet sliding over to him as she peers down at his haul. He would have just gone straight back to Kate's, but he has blankets and some old toys, a few stuffed animals he's sure Alexis is willing to part with, and he wants to give Johanne real things. Wants to welcome her, all tiny four-months of life that she is.
"Something you wanna tell me?" she says, raising her eyebrows.
He chuckles, winded. "No."
"Uh-huh. So, I'm not getting a new sibling, but you've just bought out the Baby Gap and IKEA infant section?"
He straightens up and considers his daughter. Kate didn't say either way, but he rather assumes that she's not interested in broadcasting her daughter just yet. But, this is his daughter, and at some point, they'll meet. Hell, Alexis will probably babysit. Can you leave your adopted baby for a night? Is that okay? He has no idea.
"Beckett got back from Haiti today," he begins, scrubbing at his face. He's exhausted. Shopping is not fun, even if it's for the second most adorable baby ever. The first one's waiting for his answer, so he summons energy for words and explanations he's not truly clear on himself.
"And, uh, well, she kind of brought a baby back with her," he says, and he realizes he sounds sheepish on her account.
Alexis gapes at him. "She what?"
"Has a daughter, named Johanne. She's gorgeous. Big black eyes, huge eyes, this really cute button nose—"
"And no clothes, bottles or diapers, right?"
"We got diapers on the way back from the airport. I ran into a convenience and got diapers and a bottle and some formula, but yeah, they need more, and she hasn't had all her vaccinations, so Kate doesn't want to take her outside yet, you know?" he rambles out, shifting bags around with his feet as he looks around the apartment.
"Okay. Did you—you came home for stuff, right?" she asks, and he finds himself wrapped around her before he can really think. God, he loves his kid. "Dad," she laughs, face muffled in his shoulder.
"How'd you get so big?" he asks, his voice tighter than he expects it to be.
"Okay," Alexis says, pulling away to place her hands on his shoulders. "I get that you're feeling nostalgic, but I think Detective Beckett's probably expecting you back soon. So we'll save the stories and videos for another time?"
He nods mutely and watches as she grins and pounds up the stairs, headed for the upper linen closet, where he's piled away years of little blankets and pillow cases, wash cloths and pajamas. Of course, he wouldn't want anyone to find out that he's a complete and utter sap, so they stay up there. Alexis knows, but she thinks it's cute, he hopes.
He stands for a moment, feet surrounded by all manner of baby toys—definitely more than she asked for. He doesn't know if he'll ever get another shot to buy baby supplies for Kate Beckett, so he went all out. He shakes his head and jogs for his office, pushing that thought away.
His brain has no business with babies and Beckett, other than the one little Haitian baby currently asleep in her arms. At least, she was asleep when he left.
He tears through his room and office, throwing a few shirts, his iPad, and a book or two into a bag. She won't like that either, but he has a feeling that he'll need more than one shirt, and if he leaves a few there, he at least has something to wear that didn't used to be long to Motorcycle Boy, or Sorenson, or Demming.
It should feel presumptuous, but he knows Kate, and even though, given any regular circumstance, she probably wouldn't allow him anywhere near her home, let alone with a bag, this is different.
He has a daughter. He's been a single parent.
He knows the drill, with the feedings, and the crying, and the hysterical bliss. He can help. It's all he can do, really, since he can't have her—had to watch her walk away.
He shakes his head and skids back into the kitchen, throwing a bottle of water and a few granola bars into his bag just as Alexis comes downstairs, a small duffel over her shoulder and a spare one in hand. He grins at her.
"All the clothes I could find, some baby blankets, a few bibs and a teddy bear that looks like it's brand new," she lists off as she drops the bag and kneels by the door.
He follows suit and they tag team stuffing all of the supplies into the remaining space in the two duffels.
"I kept a stash of toys in case you needed one," he admits as she places the small, brown teddy bear with the blue bow into the bag.
Alexis smiles at him and leans over to rest her head on his shoulder. "Love you," she murmurs.
"Oh, honey, I love you too," he tells her, reaching up to cup her head against him for a moment, wishing he had the day to spoil his far-too-grown kid.
She takes a breath and then pulls away, heaving herself up. He follows her lead—always has, really—and together they stare down at their haul.
"Can you even get all of this back to her place?" Alexis wonders.
Castle shrugs. "Ernie's waiting downstairs. I'm sure he'll help me up."
Alexis rolls her eyes. "Does Beckett know you got this much stuff?"
"Um. She sent me out for provisions."
"Dad."
"No, but I'm not about to take it back."
Alexis sighs and kisses his cheek. "You're too much," she says as hefts one of the bags onto her shoulder. "I'll come down with you."
"Thank you, pumpkin," he coos, hauling the other bag up onto his shoulder. Jesus, it's heavy.
"I expect pictures in return," she says with a grin. "Now come on. Let's get you back to Beckett."
(…)
He manages to get both duffels and the crib box up to her apartment on his own, and ends up leaning against her front door, panting from the effort. He really needs to start working out.
Once he's got his breath back, he knocks on the door, listening. It's all quiet, which is a good sign. He half expected to hear wailing on the way in. Not that he thinks Kate's incompetent, but even Alexis cried every other hour for a while.
"Hey, Castle," Kate greets, opening the door, Johanne in one arm, a bottle in her other hand. "Oh my God," she adds as he shuffles his way inside. "What did you even buy?"
"Crib, blankets, diaper genie, baby bathtub, mobile, play mat, some toys, blankets, pacifiers, bottles, more formula, more diapers, a snuggly, and a heating pad," he recounts, ticking off on his fingers as he shoves one of the duffels further inside with his foot.
She stares at him like he has two heads for a minute before shaking her head. "A heating pad?"
He chuckles. "That's for you. You'll get serious neck aches, sitting up with her sometimes. Figured you wouldn't mind."
"Mind? You just bought, like, a years worth of baby supplies. You're a God," she lets out, wandering away toward the couch to settle in with Johanne. "Just let me know what it cost? I'll write you a check once I've gotten her fed."
He tsks and bends down to maneuver the crib box out. "No can do, Detective. Consider it your belated baby shower."
"Castle." Johanne startles and pulls away from the bottle, letting out a cry of distress. "Sorry, sorry, baby," Kate says immediately. "Castle's just being ridiculous."
"Hey," he protests as he plops down on the floor to look at the assembly for the crib. It looks…surprisingly complicated.
"Hey?" she parrots. "You got—I cannot let you just give me that stuff."
"Why not?" he wonders. "You have a…socket wrench and a cordless drill?"
"Why not? And yeah, under the sink in the kitchen. But Castle, seriously, I—" He holds up a hand as he stands up. "Consider it a bribe for not telling the guys how embarrassingly long it's going to take me to put this together," he says, gesturing toward the crib.
Kate sighs, then glances down at Johanne, whose eyes are growing hazy, her hands loosening around the bottle. "Fine, Castle," Kate mumbles.
He grins then sets to the task of finding her tools and dragging the crib into her bedroom. He won't get away with anything like this again, but as long as she's a new mom, he's going to capitalize on her distraction. She needs stuff, and help, and favors in high places. And if it makes her look like that, all lit up as she stares down at her daughter, he's more than willing to help.
(…)
"She can just sleep in the bed with—"
He looks over at her as he tucks the cover over the little buffer around the edge of the crib. "Good?"
"Castle," she whispers, Johanne cradled against her chest. She walks over to look down at the crib with him, her eyes flitting around the room, taking in the changing table, the crib, the mobile, the little teddy bear in the corner of the crib.
It took him a solid three hours, but she's set.
"I just thought, well, I was at it anyway, right?" he offers after a silent minute. She's just gaping at him.
"Thanks," she manages, her voice a bit tight, like she's—oh, wow, like she's trying not to cry.
"Here," he says gently, reaching out and to take Johanne from her. "Why don't you get ready for bed."
"No," she protests, even as she passes him her baby. "No, you just set all this up, I spent—you should—"
"Beckett," he says, and it's as good as a shush. "You're tired, you traveled for hours today, and you've spent the past three hours caring for a fussy baby. Don't think I didn't hear." She smiles a bit at that. "Take a shower. I'll watch her."
"You could put her down, and go home," she offers feebly, even as she walks around him and toward her bathroom. Man, Beckett with a baby is mellow.
"No way. First time in the crib, that's mom's job. I'll just—oh, hey, look who's awake," he says, looking down at the baby. "Hey pretty girl."
Johanne just stares up at him then rests her head back on his shoulder, not quite cuddly, but complacent all the same.
"Wow."
He looks over at Kate, leaning in the doorjamb.
"What?"
"When Josh tried to hold her she screamed and screamed and held herself all tense. The other male doctors and nurses too."
He smirks a little, can't help it. But she doesn't even purse her lips, just keeps watching him with her baby with that little smile on her face.
"Well, that's because I have an RHD in childcare," he says, trying to brush it off, even as the idea makes his chest swell a bit.
"A what?"
"A Ruggedly Handsome Dad."
"Of course you do," she mumbles. "Okay, I'm gonna—"
"Go, go," he agrees. "We'll be good, right Jo-Jo?" He gets a glare from both Kate and the baby for that. "Jeez, okay, that's a no on Jo-Jo, huh?"
"Big fat no," Kate calls out as she closes the door.
"Fine," he grumbles, moving back out into the living room to plop down on the couch so he can get a look at Johanne. "What about Josie? Huh? Johanne's a big name for such a little you."
Johanne just stares past him, then burps, her eyes widening at the sensation of it. He laughs.
"Josie it is, I think. Oh, Josie and the Pussycats…your mom is gonna kill me."
The baby gurgles up at him and reaches out a hand. He smiles and lifts her up so they're eye to eye. She doesn't quite meet his eyes, but reaches out and squeezes his nose. He snorts and laughs at the way she startles.
"Not everyone can have your little button nose," he tells her, bringing her back to rest against his chest.
He settles into the couch and strokes Johanne's back, smiling as he feels her relaxing against him. Used to put Alexis out like a light too. Something about his heartbeat and his hand on her back. He's glad to see it still works.
He wakes up to a dark apartment, on an unfamiliar couch. He groans, his back cricked in all sorts of places, and glances around. A furry black blanket, high windows, and a big open kitchen—right, he's at Kate's. Beckett's.
Shit, wasn't he holding a baby before?
He stumbles up, harried, then takes a breath. She came and got the baby. He fell asleep with Johanne in his arms, lulled into slumber by her little puffy breaths and baby snorts. Just like he used to do with Alexis. He'd sit down to hold her until she fell asleep for a nap, and he'd wake up three hours later in a squished half-recline, with a sweaty baby on his chest and cotton in his mouth.
He blinks and squints in the dark apartment. He can just make out the glowing light on her microwave, blinking 3:30am back at him. It's very late, and he needs to go to the bathroom.
As far as he knows, the ensuite in Kate's bedroom is the only one in the apartment. Well, it's that or leave, and he doesn't want to freak Kate out. She might hear the door and get scared, or go all cop and think someone was breaking in…okay, so that's weak. He doesn't want to leave, end of. But that leaves him with—
He sighs and creeps toward her bedroom, intent on sneaking in and out without waking her or Johanne. But as he peeks inside, he hears a soft voice mumbling sleepily.
A floorboard creaks under his foot and he winces.
"Cassle?"
"Sorry," he whispers, stepping further into the room.
Kate looks up at him, snuggled in bed with Johanne in her arms. He hears it then, the faint whining coming from her daughter.
"What are you doing up?" she asks.
"I need the bathroom?" he offers meekly.
She laughs, actually laughs, and waves him toward her ensuite. "Go ahead."
Sleep-deprived Beckett is something else. Last year, she would have shot him for so much as looking into the bedroom with her in it. And now…
Well, now she has a baby.
"Come on, little girl. Go back to sleep for Mama, huh?" he hears as he reemerges.
"Won't sleep?" he asks.
Kate startles and Johanne lets out a loud cry. He gets a glare for that.
"Sorry," he whispers.
She sighs and sits up, lifting Johanne up to cradle her against her shoulder, rocking side to side.
"I've fed her, changed her, and she's still fussy. But, new place, new mom, I mean, would you sleep?" she wonders.
"Well, yeah, if you were holding me like that," pops out before he can get his brain ahead of his mouth.
Kate just chuckles and presses her lips to her daughter's head. "Not a chance in…heck, Castle."
He laughs and inches closer to the bed. "I'm going to like censored-Beckett, I can tell."
She shakes her head and strokes Johanne's back. The baby lets out a pitiful, quiet cry and he feels his heart squeeze.
"I just want her to sleep," Kate whispers.
"Sometimes they get fussy," he offers.
She looks up at him there, hovering at the side of her bed. "You can go back to sleep. I know the couch isn't very comfortable. Or go home. I mean, I'm not kicking you out, but—"
"I'm happy to stay, Kate."
She considers him, trying to soothe her daughter and looking a bit lost. "Sit, Castle."
He smiles and perches on the edge of the bed, pulling a leg up to get comfortable.
"Am I crazy?" Kate whispers, so low he almost doesn't hear.
"What? No," he says immediately.
She just gives him a look. And even rumpled, with frizzy hair and a baby on her tank-top-clad chest, she's intimidating. "I brought a baby back from Haiti, a…a daughter. And I'm a cop. And I live alone, no boyfriend, and I just—I can't even get her to go to sleep."
"Okay, first thing, getting your baby to sleep isn't a matter of can or can't. It's the baby. Alexis was an awesome sleeper at first, then she went through a few months where nothing pleased her. Rocking, singing, bottle, bath, diaper, nothing. I thought I was a complete failure. And look at her now."
Kate laughs softly, her eyes shinier than before. "Yeah?"
"Oh yeah. And you? You're gonna be great. You saved her. That's leagues above half the parents out there already. As for being a cop? You're making the world a better place for her."
She smiles at him even as Johanne cries. "Josh said I was insane," she admits. "Told me this was the biggest mistake of my life, and I was going to ruin everything, her, my job…"
"He's an idiot," he says immediately. He bites his lip and squints at her, but she just smiles.
"I hope so."
"I know so," he insists, when it looks like she's not about to smack him. "He didn't help?"
"No." She looks down at Johanne and kisses her forehead. The baby finally seems to settle, curling in and whimpering intermittently. "No. He said he's not ready to have a kid. And if I wanted to do this, I'd be doing it alone. Permanently."
"That's how he broke up with you?" Castle lets out.
Kate snorts. "Hel—heck no. I told him to…freak himself? God, does the censoring get easier?"
He laughs despite her story. "I just put together a swear jar. She got really good at calling me on it at about three. Before that, it's the honor's system."
"She'll be able to go to college on it," Kate says on a sigh.
"So, you broke up with him?"
She smiles slightly. "Yes. And let me tell you, he wasn't gracious about it. But then I threw myself into Johanne, and well, here we are."
"I never liked Dr. Motorcycle Boy," he admits.
"Really?" she asks, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Really," he says seriously.
She laughs and glances down at Johanne. "She's asleep," she whispers.
"Want me to take her?" he asks, starting to stand.
"No," she whispers. "No, I'll sleep with her here. It's what we did in Haiti. She seems to cry less."
"Can't blame her." Kate shakes her head but smiles at him. "I'll be on the couch."
"You don't have to," she says immediately.
"I want to," he admits, reaching out to stroke a finger down Johanne's nose before getting off the bed. He drinks in the sight of the two of them for just a moment more, then makes his way to the doorway.
"Castle?"
He turns and looks back to meet Kate's eyes. She stares at him, biting her lip, then takes a breath. "You really think I can do this?"
He smiles, lets it stretch across his face, his chest full with the idea that she truly values his opinion, wants his encouragement, his reassurance.
"I have no doubts about this. You? You're going to be an amazing mother."
She smiles and then hides her face in her pillow, pressed-lip smile disappearing behind Johanne's head.
"Goodnight, Kate," he whispers as he walks out.
"'Till tomorrow," he hears as he shuts the door.