Harry Potter and BE YOUR OWN DAD DAY
Harry Potter looked back on his life and realize the chapters of his life were marked by a series of shit father figures. His real dad was a classist bully. Sirius Black just wanted a best friend, not a responsibility. Albus Dumbledore was just using Harry for his Voldemort-defeating powers.
Harry told all this to Hagrid, who could relate. "My dad never wanted a half giant son," Hagrid wailed.
...
Harry stopped and realized, "but, Hagrid, YOUVE always been there for me! You have a nurturing spirit, look how many monsters you mother. Why dont YOU Be my parental mentor?"
Hagrid turned him down.
And they ate treacle tarts and tea.