hereFull House Sisters
Chapter Two
DJ called the day after her father's death, and Joey answered.
"Hello. Is dad around?"
"I'm afraid not, Deej. He's gone."
"Gone where?"
"To his next life."
"You don't mean he's…" She dropped the phone and fainted.
Ryan ordered a maid to get some smelling salts to bring her back to consciousness. It took a while, but when the was accomplished, she smiled up at him weakly and said, "Father's gone." Then she fell into a deep sleep.
Michelle drove to the hospital where the doctors tried in vain to revive him. "If I ever get my hands on that sniper, he will pay!" she said, crying bitterly.
Nicky and Alex came over to comfort her. Alex was attracted to his cousin and wished that their relations could be more intimate. He wanted to be her spaniel, like the girl in A Midnight Summer's Dream. Sometimes he remembered with fondness the time when he was very young, and she had ordered him and his brother about as if they were slaves.
Michelle had never shown any preference for either Nicky or Alex. She liked them as only cousins can know, but if she had known about Alex's crush, she would've slugged him and never permitted him to comfort her.
Joey sent an e-mail to Stephanie notifying her of the new hardship that had befallen the family. One of her students was demonstrating her geographical skills with a map on the board when Miss Tanner checked her messages and discovered what had happened. "No, this can't be!" she shouted, to the bewilderment of her pupils.
As soon as school let out, she drove home, thinking of nothing but flying to San Francisco. She had to be there for her family. It was also important for her to see tangible proof of her father's demise before the burial took place. If she didn't, it would be impossible for her to believe that he did not simply move to England or Australia.
After booking her flight, she called the school administration office to tell them she would be absent for a fortnight or so. The lady who answered became vicious. "Miss Tanner, you've had more sick days than all the other employees put together! And now you ask for some time off to see your dead father. He is dead, gone, caput! You should forget that he ever existed! People like you make me sick, with all your sweet and benevolent attitudes, caring for the dead. Ugh!"
"People like you make me sick!" Stephanie retorted.
"Ooh, that's rich. Turning people's insults on themselves now, aren't we? But I assure you, Miss Tanner, that you will be fired if you decide to take this time off. However, it's your choice. No hard feelings." Then she hung up.
Fired! She had to be lying. It wouldn't be fair! All the hard work she had put into teaching at Molherm Elementary, the late night hours inventing projects and losing sleep as well as time on writing her stories. And now they threatened to let her off if she decided to go see her dad's deathbed! It reeked of corruption, to demand so many hours of a woman's time that she had no room for family!
It had struck her as astonishing that all of her colleagues were unmarried. She had never really thought it was a requirement to be a bachelorette in order to work there, until now. The school's emphasis was apparently based on destroying the family unit. It was not just that she was intending to take time off, but that she wanted to see her father, an idea they entirely disapproved of. They were probably against motherhood as well; she wouldn't put it past them. And they were going to inculcate these values into children! Never did any institution seem more hideous or grotesque.
Regardless of the secretary's admonition, she flew home to see the funeral, and arrived at the San Francisco Airport at the same time as D.J., who had insisted on returning to the States with Ryan. "You never got to ask him if he'll accept you for a son-in-law," she told Mr. Plutarch. "If you had been able to meet him, you would know that he earned your deepest respect. He couldn't understand love," she added, thinking how he had refused to marry Vicky, "but I'm still certain a strong friendship would've developed between you two."
D.J. was always looking on the optimistic side of things, which was one of her flaws. But a true lover will give everything to spend her or his life with you because of your flaws, not in spite of them. So Ryan agreed to attend the funeral.
Stephanie saw her sister first, and they hugged. Then Joey appeared, and D.J. introduced her sibling and adopted uncle to Ryan.
"D.J. has told me about how crowded it was in her house growing up."
"That's right, nine people and a dog. Well, at least you knew there was always someone to talk to, even if he had fur and four legs."
"Yes, you must be the comedian uncle," Ryan said, laughing.
"Well, I'm as close to being her uncle as Jesse is, I suppose."
"Really, what's it like living under one roof with so many people? D.J. tried to give me an idea, but when you listen to a lover, you find it kind of hard to put pictures to words."
"Oh, well, it wouldn't be much more difficult than living in Benjamin Franklin's family."
Ryan didn't understand the joke, and communicated as much to Joey. "I forgot for a second. You're Italian, and only have an inkling of who old Benji was. Just the other day I heard a girl from England say that he killed himself by using a kite and key to discover electricity. Well, he had sixteen brothers and sisters, so you can imagine how his life must've been."
"Only vaguely," Ryan said.
Then Joey tried to make more allusions, but they all failed to hit their mark. He found it too impossible to convey the idea of a large family to someone else, especially someone like Ryan, who had experienced a nuclear family with only three children and a mother who hardly spent three nights a year at home.
They arrived at the house, and Michelle opened the door. She thought Ryan very handsome, but she never coveted anything her sister possessed. Ryan kissed her hand, as his father had taught him to do when he met strange ladies, not knowing that this custom was foreign to Americans. This faux pas did more than cause him a great deal of chagrin; it also made Alex very jealous. Michelle had never permitted him to kiss her hand, so why should a complete stranger assume he had the privilege?
Jesse made a fair impression on Ryan as well, even though he said the most morbid thing that night. "It's too bad we have to meet on such terrible events as these. Hopefully death will have a kinder deal for us, and not sunder us from each other as abruptly as they took Danny." After saying this, he broke down in tears.
Becky was not so lucky. She had just been icing a funeral cake when she shook Ryan's hand, forgetting that her own was covered in frosting. This was a blunder even more obtrusive and unwelcome than Ryan's kiss was to Michelle, and it was not until well after Ryan and D.J. were married that Mr. Plutarch was able to forgive her aunt.
Three days later, the funeral was held. The attendee list was staggering: everybody from Tanners that Danny's daughters never heard of to fans who had seen him on television. Some people wondered who would replace him; the young lady who had delivered his eulogy was rather favorable, but it would be awkward watching Wake Up San Francisco! with two female hosts. If she was accepted, Becky would have to be booted.
D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle all gave their own poignant account of their father's life, and all the wonderful things he did for them. Joey tried to lighten the mood with a few jokes about Danny's obsessive compulsive behavior in keeping his home sanitary, but when that failed, he simply said, "He was a remarkable man for remembering dates. For instance, he could tell you that on June 16, 1977 your dog died of consumption. Or on April 4, 1984, you bought a drum set at a garage sale. Or on November 23, 1989, you drove a car into the kitchen window." Stephanie blushed when he said this. "If there was ever a man who believed that cleanliness was above godliness, it was Danny Tanner."
When it was Becky's turn, she almost could not speak through her tears. At last she choked them down, and said, "There never was, nor will be, a man like him. He always brought sparkle to life, a little dash. He made us feel clean, and he taught us to cherish life. I don't know how I'll be able to manage without him."
A week later, Becky was fired, and the young woman replaced her, with a man named Norton Mailer taking Danny's place. They were an instant hit, and ere long people forgot all about the former two.
Stephanie returned to her home in Montana, only to find a pink slip in the mail. She was now one of the unemployed. Unable to pay for her apartment, she called on Uncle Jesse for help, which he was glad to do, though only the last bill. She moved back to California.
Michelle was adamant about not returning to college, especially since Danny was gone now. No one took any notice of the fact that she had firmly made up her mind before his death. However, the creditors she had borrowed from would surely be seeking repayment within a few months. With a foreboding countenance, she went out into the town to seek a job.
D.J. stopped making plans for her wedding. Ryan began to get worried, and one night, while at a spaghetti restaurant, he asked her is she still wanted to marry him.
"I don't know, Ryan. Life is just so dastardly. I have already lost my father; do you think I could stand losing you too?"
"But, Deej, if you marry me, I'll be able to provide for you and your two sisters as well. We'd have to live in Italy, of course, but that's no burden."
"You can't meet all of our needs."
"But I assure you that I can! Look, I just got a letter from Florence: an uncle of mine died recently, and he left me a fortune. And Deej, believe me when I say that there is nothing in this world I'd rather do than give you and your sisters a pleasant life. One has been fired and the other's in debt. If we marry, they'll be able to have worry-free lives, which is more than your father could've offered them."
"He wanted them to be independent!" she cried, indignantly.
"And they shall be. They will be allowed to follow their dreams, and from my few encounters with your sisters, I have discovered that they are not ones who deserve to waste their lives with regret. Stephanie wants to be a novelist; this is her opportunity. Michelle yearns to breed horses; I say let her! And you, you're waiting for your big break. I promise that if you continue with your plans to marry me, you'll become the most famous TV screenwriter of our era. So, what do you say?"
"I say, why not?"