2. Innocent And Vain

Day 3

The smell of anyone was different when they were scared. You were no exception, and when I noticed this change from a distance, I went early in the morning to the bedroom to check on you. Tears fell from your open eyes, which made me think you were awake, but you didn't turn to look at me. Being mostly sure you turned off or took out your hearing aids while sleeping, I didn't bother to call your name to wake you up. I only touched your arm. It was uncovered since it was too hot to have all your body surrounded by blankets. There was still no reaction. I heard you breathing, but I couldn't understand what happened, so I just sat down on the floor and waited for some minutes. Eventually you stopped crying, and started blinking, only to close your eyes. Then you moved around during the next few minutes like people usually did while sleeping, so I left the room and went to sleep.

It was the smell of you making breakfast what got me up before the alarm. Not feeling like talking at all, and not even remembering what had happened earlier, I waited until you went into the shower to eat from the plate you left for me. Just after you came out of the shower, but before wrapping a towel over your very long hair, you spoke to me.

"Logan." You called as you patted your hair with the towel. The accent was stronger than before. I guessed it was either the fact you didn't put on the aids to shower or the fact it was morning.

"Yes?"

You sighed.

"I think I'm becoming a witch. I'm having visions of some sort." You said.

I first thought I had misunderstood your words because of your pronunciation. "What?"

"It was horrible, seriously, you've no idea how scary that was. As I was falling asleep I saw the bedroom, but there were faces everywhere, barely human."

Then I recognized that you were talking about what I saw earlier, and I felt my expression get more serious.

"No'' I told you "Those must have been hallucinations."

"I'm serious." you insisted, gesturing as you kept talking "There were people in dark cloaks, then there was a werewolf in the room, sitting, looking at me. I couldn't move my eyes but I saw him from the corner of my eyes."

I crossed my arms.

"I saw you hallucinate" I told you "And then I sat down on the floor to wait until you fell asleep."

You looked at your left side.

"Oh." you said and then laughed for a second "I saw you as a werewolf I guess."

That part did make me think for a moment that maybe you did have some sort of clairvoyant power, but it made much more sense that you were just hallucinating. Then I realized that associating me with a wolf wasn't that difficult.

"It must be the hair" I said.

You laughed slightly again. Was it flirting? I had said that in a serious tone, but maybe you'd found some humor in there.

Putting on makeup took you longer than the day before, and it was also a bit heavier than the previous days. Now I could tell you wore eyeshadow. I saw it after brushing my teeth and putting on my uniform. I also saw, as I expected, that your dress was short. Shorter than maybe even the one you wanted to wear tights with the first day. It let me see your legs almost completely. The long hair was all up again, this time it was a long ponytail with a bow.

It was interesting to me that you had spent more time in your appearance when I would spend most of the time at work. As I went to work I thought that maybe you had a boyfriend who would come over while I was gone. After all, I never asked if you were single. However, it seemed to me that you were flirting with me since the second day, maybe not realizing you were. Maybe it was for the sake of looking at yourself in a very feminine way, since you might have thought your voice was deep or not feminine enough. This was on my mind while I was at work, and every time I delivered to a woman I thought of it. Some even looked like you, but when I saw them I thought that they'd look better if they did look even more like you.

I arrived to the complex's parking lot perfectly sober, but before going back into the apartment I wanted to drink. I was at the bar for long enough that I had time to even think of how I felt, to my own surprise. I was thinking about your body. I had no reason to trust a human woman that had no idea who I was, but lust was a different thing. And in general I didn't particularly feel affection for humans as a whole.

It might have been the speed I had drank with that evening compared to other times, because even after the time it took to walk back to the apartment I was still somewhat drunk.

"Hi" you said when I arrived "I ate dinner without you, I hope you don't m-"

"No, it's cool." I told you, then I sat on the couch.

"You know… You look cute, in a way."

You took the collar of your uniform and straightened your dress to cover you more.

"Um, thanks." you said, and waited some seconds before you kept talking "Well, I need to tell you about something."

"Oh, yeah?" I stood up again and went to the table on the kitchen.

You started putting food on a plate as you talked "What we talked about this morning. I think I should go to the doctor."

"I don't get it." I said before starting to eat.

"You know how the first day I fell asleep suddenly?" you took the seat in front of me.

"M-hm"

"It's been happening while you're not here too." you said "And then the weird thing as I was falling asleep again before morning."

My drunkenness had worn off completely by that moment.

"I see." I could just say "You think it's a disease?"

"I just know I wasn't like this before."

"Well, yeah, you should go see a doctor." I told you "I really think it's just that you're still not used to living here, though."

After I was done eating, I went into the bedroom to take off my uniform, and found most of my clothes folded on top of a box in the closet. I guessed the only ones you didn't fold were the ones that wrinkled. When I was done changing I walked to the living room and found you asleep on the couch. Was it that I didn't think a visit to a doctor was urgent if you worked well anyway? Or maybe it was the fact I had never had to face anything like that. I don't like to think I lack empathy, so I tried to imagine what it was like to have a disease. I took a cigar but didn't think of waking you up by smoking it there, so I went outside again.

"So you think I'm cute?" was the first thing I heard when I came back.

"I guess" I replied. You wanted me to respond to the flirting, I thought, but I wasn't ready for that.

Me wanting you to wear revealing clothes was probably what gave you the idea I'd be interested romantically, but things weren't that simple. I could see your face getting redder from embarrassment, but I didn't care enough to say something to make you blush more, so I just stopped talking and started drinking as you did more housework.

At night I acted like I wasn't looking at your body. You wore shorts and a small tank top to bed, and went to the living room for something. I'm still not sure why, but I preferred not to respond to your flirting (or what seemed like flirting to me) but still demand provocative stuff from you. Maybe I didn't want you to want it. Or wanted you to act like you didn't. Now that I've thought about it I think, though, it might have been that I didn't want you to think I was interested in anything too emotional. It was mainly acting for myself. I admit, I did look at you whenever you walked past me, with whatever you wore that showed much. You were right (if that's what you got from my stares): I wanted to touch your legs. Later I remembered the weather was getting warmer, and your clothes were appropriate. But I still thought you wanted me to look.

Day 4

Something about the next morning didn't let me feel like the night before had given me rest. You were in your room when I woke up, door closed, and the breakfast was on the table. This time there was a small vase with a single flower beside it.

"Who gave you this?" I pointed at it when you were back.

You replied as you touched the front hair your braids didn't hold "The milkman"

For a second I could only think you were serious, against all odds, but only raising your brows told me otherwise. Your tone was difficult to interpret, and I understood it was likely because you weren't able to hear yourself the way I heard you.

"The milkman." I repeated.

You took a sponge from the sink and started cleaning the stovetop. I wasn't finished.

"If you have a boyfriend, I think I should know."

This made you turn around and look at me. You only replied after you turned back and kept cleaning. "You should?"

"Usually people know that if someone works for them." I said "It's good to know."

You left one of the grates on top of the stove.

"I'm single." you said without looking at me "A man gifted me the flower when I went out for groceries yesterday."

"Who was it?" I asked, just before realizing how I looked.

"I didn't know him." he said "He just gave it to me."

Then I saw I was supporting my hand on the table "Alright" I said, before leaving to put on my uniform.

When I came back from work, dinner was on the table and I had spent the last hours thinking of why I was so concerned with the flower and its origin. It was hard for me to picture someone on the street giving me something just because. I was looking for a way to tell you this in case you hadn't felt like telling me the truth when you said that, although I didn't think you had much reason to lie.

"So you just get stuff gifted to you while on the street?" I asked after eating. There were a couple of seconds before you answered, still looking at me. I guessed you were making sure you'd heard well.

"Of course not" you told me "It was the first time it happened."

As irrational as it was, I had been slowly lowering my voice since I had arrived, and this was conscious.

"Maybe if I was some cute woman I'd have men cleaning my apartment for free."

"What?" you turned to look at me while asking. I was already on the couch.

"Nothing." my voice went back to the usual volume after I was forced to repeat the words in my head. You kept staring.

"You said something about if you were a woman." you told me.

It could have been shamelessness that made me silent.

"Have you ever been cursed at while you were walking down the street?"

That was unexpected. You simply assumed what I had said, and I had thought of you as sensitive for reacting to a small comment defending yourself.

"I didn't know you had an issue with swearing." I said, surprising myself by being the innocent one this time. It was the smart-seeming way of replying to someone when you didn't know what they were talking about. I guessed you'd heard that perfectly, since you went to your room without saying anything.

It was the bedroom door that opened when I next saw you, so you must have gone to sleep while I went out to drink. You did nothing other than walk towards the sink with dirty dishes and only looked at me for a fraction of a second. It was enough for me to see redness in your eyes.

"You really cried because of that?" I thought my tone had been neutral, but maybe the words themselves were wrong, because you kept washing dishes and again only looked at me for a moment. That was before you turned off the faucet and spoke.

"You don't just point out to people that they cried." you said, and I heard the sound of a plate being left on the sink. "Just like you don't tell them their clothes stink of tobacco."

That reply told me you'd misunderstood me. My wording was bad but I didn't think it was funny. I hated seeing women cry, at least the ones I liked, and wanting you to know that was enough to make me swallow my pride.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I said, never having thought before that I'd say it over something so minor.

There were a few seconds of silence before you replied. For some moments I thought you wouldn't.

"It's okay." your voice was softer than before. The only reason I thought you weren't faking that was because you probably didn't hear yourself well enough to control that. Or maybe you did, I couldn't know those things.

Not wanting to end the conversation like that, I tried to get to other things that I imagined wouldn't be as difficult for you to talk about.

"So you went to the doctor?"

At the time I didn't think there was anything wrong with you, and that you being constantly sleepy was just being tired from working and getting to a new place.

"Yes" you said, and made a pause that already was telling me I'd been wrong. You turned off the faucet again and dried your hands before turning around "She said we still need to make more tests, but it's possible I have narcolepsy."

I tried adjusting to this idea as I took a cigar only to have it between my fingers. You didn't comment on it this time, but there was no need at that point.

"Today was really just some questions, but she said the other tests would be about three thousand dollars for both."

I acted like I was expecting it, by forcing my brows together when I wanted to raise them.

"Oh."

This made me think of all the times I wouldn't have needed so much money for something like that. I didn't think of myself as lucky, but I was starting to notice the way you living with me made me realize how separated I was from most humans, even if I put on a uniform every morning. I'd face things you would never, and you faced things I didn't even think about.

"I'm sorry" I said, as I realized you'd been looking at me "I guess you can't afford that."

"Not for a few months at least." you said "Logan, I know you don't get paid like a CEO, but I think you understand why I really would want… to earn more."

I looked at the cigar, avoiding your gaze. Before I was able to answer, you spoke again.
"I'll do other things that you may want."

"Like what?" I said as a knee-jerk reaction, but immediately kept on going "No, wait, it isn't that. Listen, of course I'll give you more, as much as I have and don't need, but you'll probably still have to wait a month or so for the tests."

I wasn't lying. I almost never needed extra money for anything other than cigars and drinks. But I have to admit I didn't even think of giving up those things for some weeks for your sake, at that point such a thought would have surprised me coming from myself. And again, I didn't feel affection for you exactly, it was just ethics.

"Thank you so much." you said in a lower tone, and showed me a smile, then looked at the floor. After this, you took off your gloves. "So, what were the extra things I could do?"

I thought of things that would be acceptable to ask from you, but since there was nothing in my mind I simply decided to give myself time.

"I think I'd rather tell you whenever I'd want something like that."

"Alright" was the last thing I heard before I went outside to smoke and to mentally pat myself in the back.