I'm afraid that I might kill someone else...
go ahead and press that back button if you don't think you can take another dose of stupidity...
The Soul society was a place where Martin Luther King would have died of shock..
In effect, The Soul Society was a place where the slightest ideal of equality didn't exist. Want proof? Here:
The Soul Society was set up like this. If you were born(died) in district 1, you were pretty much set for life, or death. District 1 was a nice place, full of wonderful streets, and wonderful flowers, and wonderful houses, and lawns, and cute little dogs, and streetlamps, and wonderful souls of dead people. You were set for a good life.
If you were born in District 80, the rest of your life(death) would be pretty short if you weren't paranoid to an insane extent. I really mean paranoid to an insane extent. When was the last time you walked down the street and saw people fitted with an security/alarm system, and a couple hundred guns and a collection of knives you would only see in the museum of diseased imaginings?
Those were just the tourists. The people who lived there, however were much worse. Half of them were axe murderers and the other half were either some type of ninja or serial killer. All of them made a living killing people, or more specifically, killing (other) people in district 80. The point we're trying to get across here is that you can run around screaming, spout nonsense, go cross-eyed and blither, etc... and someone will eventually approach you and ask: "Have you visited District 80 lately?" and then feel sorry for as you fall over in shock, insanity, or District 80. If you were born in District 80, you were set for life (death). You were set for a pretty bad life (death), but you were set, until someone found you, and killed you.
I am going to talk to you about someone from District 80. He has no name. He just has an unnatural craving for blood and a rusty sword that screams. He also has a little kid that sits on his shoulder and abuses his neck muscles. He eventually gave himself a name. This was his name: Kenpachi Zaraki.
Let's skip to present time...
you have another chance to press that back button!
no? fine, read at your own risk :)
Now, Kenpachi was not a very sweet guy at all. You can tell that he wants kill you just by looking at him through a telescope. He has this huge grin that takes up half his face and you can tell something bad happened during his childhood. His vice-captain(the little kid who sits on his shoulder and abuses his neck muscles) is a sweet little thing that is about ten times shorter then Kenpachi and will also kill you if you mess with her. She is also always smiling. She smiles a real smile that makes people want to just hug her. And when they do she takes her cute little self and her cute little sword and skewers them on fence posts very painfully.
Please remember nothing mentioned in this piece so far is true.
Before you die, listen to this.
Kenpachi is the captain of the 11th division. He is a good leader and likes getting almost-killed in battle. He is always grinning that grin of his, and he wears bells in his hair. For some strange reason he always wants his enemies to hear the bells and try to carve him up.
As you already know. He is an example of a mental case. He is completely insane, bonkers, completely lost it. He must have broken his brain while trying to defeat the bogeyman (who is imaginary, but to insane people they can be very real). Here's a typical day in the Soul Society:
… tweet tweet....hmmm....dumm....de...dum- OH SHIT ZARAKI HERE RUUNN!!!*people run about screaming*
...Aannd cut!
You get the idea don't you?
And Kenpachi's not even their enemy?
What do you think of that?
One day, the 11th division was practicing their ruthlessness on a band of Gillians (really huge dumb hollows that shuffled around in circles)
"Zaraki sir!"
Kenpachi was happily dicing up the already dead Gillian that he had killed. He didn't hear a thing.
"Zaraki sir!" continued whoever was saying "Zaraki sir!" quite frantically and was beginning to become nervous.
The message he was delivering was not a good one, and would probably end in his death. The messenger didn't want to die. He was here to deliver paperwork...
"WHAT!" Shouted Kenpachi "DO YOU WANT"
The shouting didn't shout too terrifying because the air was so shredded (pun of 'rent with screams') with screams that it was only logical thing to do if you wanted others to hear you.
"I'm here -um- to deliver-um-" twittered the messenger nervously
"WHAT!?" shouted Kenpachi. The Hollow he was killing quickly committed suicide and tried to find a hedge to die under. Because there were no hedges in Hueco Mundo he looked for a tree. Since there were no trees either, the Hollow finally made up it's mind that it was going to die under a rock, then realized that it was already dead and couldn't go and die anywhere else then there. The Hollow's mind blanked out when it realized this and it went ahead and turned into gross moldy, bloody, pulp.
"uh..."
"WHAT?!"
"I HAVE YOUR PAPERWORK!"
"BURN IT!"
"WHAT?!"
"I SAID BURN THE PAPERWORK!"
The messenger wanted to live, so he burned it.
The messenger, you see, was a very sensible little messenger. but after he burned the paperwork he was killed by the Soul Society's paper control center for doing what he was bid. I guess the only moral that can be scraped up from this Fic is "Don't be Kenpachi Zaraki's paperwork carrier person, because death in inevitable." but sometimes that can't be helped. We always have to sentence someone to death don't we? It's human nature. We simply HAVE to do something so cruel to someone that it would disfigure hell.
Thank goodness we're not there yet. I want to die before the insane scientists (I mean really insane, not just Szayel insane) figure out how to make wars bigger and bloodier and etc... (whatever other bad things you can think of). Oh well. It doesn't matter.
---belated warning. the Pharagraph above makes absolutely no sense. please don't try to understand it or you will end up like Kenpachi...or maybe even Itachi*
If death occurs please consult your doctor...
thanks for reading :)
*Itachi is a character from Naruto that I don't really like...his eyes bleed.