Present day

That was how things went between me and Mr Cullen now. I still couldn't wait to see him and I drank him in whenever I laid my eyes on this perfect god-like creature. But that was it. I gave no sign of my feelings, and he treated me as any other employee.

As for Tanya, I hadn't seen her since that day. Not even at the company Christmas party, although my sources told me he never brought dates to these events, so I guessed he just spent the holiday season tucked up with her in private. Urgh, why did I torture myself like this?

The elevator reached the floor for Mr Cullen's office and I braced myself. Seeing him always took my breath away, always made my heart stop and my soul long for us to be more than just work. I loved my job, but I loved… No, bad train of thought before you are about to see him Bella, very bad.

I walked past Mr Cullen's secretary Lauren, who gave me her usual snide look. She was another fan of Mr Cullen's and I think she resented the time I spent with him each day. I almost felt sorry for her, but she got to run around all day bowing to his every whim and seeing him smile when she fetched him coffee. God I need help, now I want to be his personal slave!

I knocked on the door and let myself in. I could tell as soon as I lay my eyes on him he was excited about something. He was bouncing about in his seat. As soon as I came in he leapt up to welcome me in.

"Isabella, how are you? Please sit down, would you like a drink?" He was a ball of energy. Something had sure started his day off well, I hoped it wasn't Tanya. If anyone should give him a happy in the morning, it should be me. I'm not the biggest fan of blow jobs, but with Mr Cullen, I would make a big exception. It was one of my hottest fantasies, which is weird considering technically I would get nothing out of it. But there was something about being on your knees in front of a guy like Mr Cullen and being the one to bring him pleasure, to have that power. Plus, I just wanted him to feel good and for it to be because of me. I could just imagine what he would taste like, salty and masculine and like Edward Cullen. Sucking off a superhero, now wouldn't that just feel great!

"Um, no thank you," I replied politely, realising I had left an uncomfortably long pause while I considered the wonders of his cock and what it would be like to swallow it whole. I had already had way too much coffee that morning. I felt confused, he was always in a good mood, but never this good. What was going on?

He sat down behind his desk again and took a deep breath. "Before we get to our usual agenda, I have something very important to tell you. Well, ask you."

My heart spluttered, please tell me you want me, love me, can't live without me. I'll be yours forever. I held my breath.

"We have an opportunity in our publishing branch that I just know you will love. It's an editor role helping promising young authors. I know you have such a passion for writing yourself, this way you can help others and have a part in getting new books on the shelves. It's right up your street." He rushed the words out, it seemed like he had been waiting to say them for a while. He looked at me expectantly, his face thrilled with what he had just told me.

I froze. I had no idea what to say. What an amazing opportunity, it was what I had always dreamed of. The perfect job with a salary no doubt that meant I wouldn't be struggling to survive each week. I could support myself, afford a decent apartment and help Charlie and Renee out if they ever needed it. The money would be far more than I had now, but what was money if I never saw him anymore?

Mr Cullen studied my face, trying to figure out why I was silent. Perhaps he mistook my stunned silence for overwhelming joy, as he went on.

"You would be reporting to my brother Emmett over at Cullen Publishing. The building is on the other side of the city, but I doubt that will be too much of a problem for you, I hope?"

I finally found my voice again. "I don't know what to say," I responded quietly. "I mean, I've only been here three months, how can this be happening?"

He looked worried then and slightly wounded. Here he was offering me the biggest career opportunity of my life and all I could think was how I would miss seeing him every day. A man who sees me as nothing more than an employee, at best a vaguely amusing klutz who makes him laugh when I trip over my heels as I leave his office.

Then I realised I might be looking at this all wrong. This was my chance to get over him, to move on, to stop living with this ridiculous fantasy that one day he will decide I'm the one for him, that I could possibly live in his perfect world. I had to accept that I don't belong next to perfection and that being away from him would help me realise that.

I steeled myself and got ready to act my ass off. I spoke before he had a chance to, "Mr Cullen, that is incredible news, I'm sorry I didn't know what to say there for a moment. The job sounds amazing, like a dream, I'll take it!" I fluffed my lines in the school play back in third grade and was relegated to back stage only after that, but I felt my latest attempt at acting had gone pretty well. My voice said, I am so thrilled my career is taking this amazing new direction, while my heart screamed, don't take me away from this amazing, sexy man, I need him like air!

He smiled his billion dollar mega-watt smile at me, the one that makes all the ladies' panties' drop and left me gaping at him in wonder. "Excellent, I'm so thrilled. You are such an asset to this company, I know you will do me proud."

I know who I'd like to do, I thought to myself. "Thanks so much Mr Cullen." I paused, then added. "It will be weird not seeing people in this office every day. I had rather got used to all the faces at last, now I have to start all over again," I laughed. Please say you'll miss me, please say you'll miss me. Just leave me with something to show you cared I was here at all.

"Well I'm sure you will get on with our team over there like a house on fire. You'll have no trouble settling in."

"Right," I replied. "Of course." What an idiot, was I really expecting him to weep at my departure? It was his idea for goodness sake.

"So, now that's decided you can work on handing over your projects this week."

"Oh, when will I need to be finished by?"

"Well, Friday, if that's okay?"

"Friday? That soon? I didn't think it would all happen so fast!" I cried.

Mr Cullen chuckled. "Well I need someone in position urgently. The current editor has left suddenly under a bit of a cloud I'm afraid."

"Right, okay. Great, I'll get right to wrapping everything up." I said, resigned to my fate. This was a good thing, make it quick like ripping off a band aid.

We started making plans for how I was going to divide my work between the team, all the while he had this gleeful expression on his face like this was the best day of his life. It could not have been more different to my mood, which was utterly black. I may run into him at company events in the future, but that's it. The odd 'hey, how's it going?', just wouldn't be enough. Who was I kidding, it had never been enough just seeing him for an hour each day to go over work. I wanted him in my life, sleeping with me every night, well maybe not sleeping the whole time we were in bed, by my side at dinner, other people's weddings, our own wedding. I felt like all my fantasies of a happy ending between us were crashing down around me and suddenly I couldn't breathe.

Luckily, our discussions drew to a close and I was able to make a hasty escape to the bathroom where I locked myself in a cubicle, sat on the toilet and stuck my head between my knees, breathing in deeply. So, this was how the end of the world felt like.

Friday came round in a blur. Angela had arranged for a huge bunch of flowers to be delivered to me on my last morning. It was beautiful and made me smile. I needed the cheering up.

"So, you like the flowers then," she asked from my office door with a smile.

"They are lovely, thanks for the send off," I replied.

"Hey, you don't think you're getting off that easy, do you? We are so going for drinks tonight, all of us. Edward Cullen included."

"What? Why would be come, I'll be a wreck, a drunk wreck at that. I'm bound to say something stupid." I cried.

"Well, we were talking about what to do for your last day and Edward heard us talking, he wanted to come along, wish you well and all that. If you ask me he wants to do more than wish you well." She added with a saucy wink.

"Oh please, the guy could not be more happy that I'm leaving. He's just thrilled to know someone with half a brain is going to be running his magazine," I said with a pout.

"Whatever Bella, I see the way he looks at you. You're special." She said seriously. But I knew as my friend she only saw me and my life through rose tinted glasses, she wanted the best for me and that included our superhero bossman.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. We ended up in the same bar we always used for after work shenanigans. We grabbed a booth at the back of Smith's and one of the guys from work bought me a cocktail. Sitting beside me Ang raised her glass, "To Bella and her dream job. May all her other dreams come true!"

"Cheers!" Everyone cried enthusiastically.

"Aw Ang, thanks hon. I really don't know what I'll do without you every day," I said, swallowing back the lump that had formed in my throat.

"Oh sweetie, we can video conference and meet in the middle of town for lunch. Don't you worry, I've still got your back!"

I smiled through blurry eyes and put my arms around her, hugging her tight. She had been such a good friend to me, I couldn't imagine us losing touch.

"Looks like things have got emotional here already. Bella, how can you be turning all my staff into blubbering wrecks after just a few weeks?" Edward Cullen's voice made my head shoot up. He was smiling at me and Ang as he stood across the table from us, although the smile did not quite touch his eyes, he looked like he was pondering something. How I wished I could read his mind and know all his secrets, though not the ones that include Tanya. Unless the secrets were that he actually finds her repulsive. That would make my day. Though realistically, no one could find Tanya the supermodel repulsive.

"Oh, we just got something in our eyes," laughed Ang. "We're really not that close," she added cheekily, shooting me a warm look.

"Sure," chuckled Edward. "Anyone want a drink, I'm heading for the bar."

Edward bought me a cocktail then sat down as far away from me as possible and chatted to one of the guys from accounts. All the other women from our office kept sneaking looks at him, me included, though I think I was way more subtle than them. I chatted away with my soon to be ex-colleagues and kept knocking back drinks. I was starting to feel tipsy.

Out the corner of my eye I saw Edward stand up. "Well, I'm going to call it a night," he said apologetically, strolling over to stand in front of me across from the table. "Bella, best of luck with Emmett. You will need it!" He said lightly. "Seriously, you will do great, I know it."

"Thanks," I said sadly. Then he reached his hand towards mine over the table and I realised this was it. This could be the last time we saw each other for months, maybe ever. The company socials were huge, you were more likely to find a needle in a haystack than run into people you know. Staring at his hand, I knew this was a significant moment in my life. The moment I said goodbye to the love of my life, and he didn't even know it was a big deal. How tragic my life has become. I swallowed hard and reached my shaking hand out to his from my side of the table.

"Goodbye Mr Cullen," I managed to choke out, though I hoped it didn't sound quite so miserable to him.

"All the best," he replied, gripping my hand firmly and shaking. His slightly calloused hand made my heart beat faster as it took hold of mine and I gasped at the electricity and warmth that shot through me from the contact. His green eyes held mine in an intense gaze, almost as if this moment also meant something more to him, though he did not look sad like I felt.

He let go of my hand then and the moment was over. He said his goodbyes to the others, slapping a few shoulders and wishing his colleagues a pleasant weekend and then he was gone. I looked down at the table, trying to quash the feeling of despair that came over me. He was gone, this was it. I hadn't even managed to have a proper conversation with him tonight. I had at least hoped to bask in the utter warmth of his presence once more, to hear him laugh at my jokes and feel that he was truly listening to me as I spoke to him. My eyes then zeroed in on my drink and I took hold of it, taking a good long gulp. I set it down on the table with a bang and then felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to Ang.

"Its okay Bella, try not to think about it tonight." She knew me so well, but even if I could forget about Edward Cullen for one night, what was I going to do after that?

My first week was gone in a flash. I met countless people, I was so desperate to remember names I found myself parroting them back when they introduced themselves to me hoping it would sink in. Mostly it did, but I worried I would embarrass myself in the future by forgetting someone important. Emmett was a kind and easy going guy, he would be easy to work for. He expected a lot, but he did everything with respect for his employees. I liked him even more because I was not attracted to him in the slightest. It sure made getting ready for work in the mornings easier.

When I got to Saturday I realised that my great hopes of forgetting Mr Cullen, even for just one night, had been wishful thinking. Just one week on and I still dreamed of him every night. Memories of his smile, the sound of his voice and the way he laughed were still fresh in my mind as if he were in front of me at all times. I now accepted it out loud. I was in love with him, no amount of distance would do anything about it and I could never love anyone in the same way. The perfection of Edward Cullen, the bossman, had ruined me for life and my superhero was the only one with the power to make me happy. However, I was resolved to not spend my life wallowing in self pity. That would just not do. I had a dream, it didn't work out. Now, I had to chase another dream and move on with my life. Maybe I would never meet anyone else who I could spend time with romantically, but that's okay. I have friends, a great job, parents who love me. Who needs a guy, right? Especially when that guy will never be Edward Cullen.

Sunday morning I was woken up by the buzzer. I groaned with irritation, for I had been dreaming about Edward running his long and talented fingers all over my body while nipping at my neck with his teeth. The buzzer had chased dream Edward away and now I was alone, as always. I raced to the door and pushed the intercom.

"Hello?"

"Delivery for Miss Swan," a man's voice said.

"Oh, okay come on up," I buzzed him in and opened the door. When the delivery man arrived I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to rub them to make sure I wasn't still asleep. He carried the biggest bunch of flowers I had ever seen. They were beautiful, full of colour and vibrant. I signed for the delivery and carried them inside. Who would send me flowers? Maybe my mom? Certainly not Charlie, I doubt he had ever bought flowers for anyone in his life, not his style.

I searched frantically for a card. Finding one buried amongst the heavenly smelling blooms.

Beautiful Bella, I can only live wholly with you or not at all

That was it, no name, nothing. I sighed in frustration. Who was responsible for this? It certainly was not my parents. A guy? But I hadn't dated anyone since… Oh god, it can't be? Not Jake? We went out for about a week when I first started working for the Cullen Group. I broke up with him because there was no spark there, though we got on well enough. Plus I fell in love with my boss, which kind of made dating impossible. We kept in touch as friends and he had often hinted at us going out again. In fact, he sent me an email just a couple of weeks ago asking if I was available. Maybe this was his way of getting my attention. Great, the perfect gesture from the wrong guy. I loved the letters from Beethoven. I was a fan before they were made famous by Sex and the City. Beautiful words and such powerful emotion. I had always thought if only someone would write something like that to me. Now they had, and it was the last thing I wanted.

I pondered what to do. There was no question here, just a statement. I could ignore it and hope Jake got the hint. That way there would be no awkward conversation. Yes, that is what I would do. I put the flowers in water, as it would be ridiculous to ditch such a beautiful arrangement, and displayed them on the end table by the sofa so I could gaze at them while pondering. Why couldn't I love Jake? He liked me, it would be so much easier. Damn it.

Finally I looked at the clock and realised I had stared at the flowers for over an hour. I got on with my Sunday routine.

Monday came and went. I was so busy I didn't have a chance to think about the flowers until I got home. I tried not to dwell and got on with making my dinner, a chicken stir fry. I was just adding the vegetables to the pan when suddenly the intercom went. I walked over to the button.

"Hello?"

"Delivery for Miss Swan," a familiar voice said.

What is going on? "Come on up," I said.

I opened the door and stood tapping my foot and biting the nail on my thumb. Jacob again? Why?

Sure enough, another bunch of flowers. This time pale pink roses. I signed for them and carried them inside, taking a big sniff of the flowers. They smelled divine. There was a card again.

Beautiful Bella, what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all

Wow, Jake sure had the quotes spot on to get my attention. I didn't know him all that well but it didn't really seem his style. Weird. A tapped the card against my other hand as a bit my lip and thought about what to do. Should I call now, make sure no other flowers were sent? He was only going to wind up disappointed after all. Maybe I was being too hasty. Maybe I should give him another chance, after all it's not like I had any other offers on the table.

Again I chose to do nothing. The next day, more flowers. This time red roses.

Beautiful Bella, my heart is full of so many things to say to you

The delivery guy grinned at me as I signed for the flowers.

"I don't suppose you met the guy who sent these did you?" I asked.

"Sorry lady," he replied. "I just drive them around, I don't ask questions."

"Sure, no problem," I sighed.

Wednesday started normal enough. I had a conference with other department heads before getting on with replying to my emails and returning calls. I was working away in a world of my own when I noticed a group of the female reporters walk past my door giggling and gossiping.

"He's here, have you ever seen the boss? He's the hottest piece of ass you will ever lay your eyes on. Truly, he is a walking orgasm."

"Oh come on, no one is THAT good looking."

"Trust me on this one, you won't believe your eyes."

"She's right, he smiled at me once and I swear my knees gave out. If I could score just one night with him I swear he would get the ride of his life."

They couldn't be talking about Edward, they were being so crude. Then again, what other man could inspire such superhero worship among a group of women. My hands moved off the keyboard, the sentence I was typing had been forgotten. I stood up from my chair. Smoothing down my pencil skirt, thank goodness I had worn a new outfit today. I headed for the door to peak my head out. Sure enough, there was Edward Cullen, striding past the cubicles next to his brother Emmett.

"He never comes to this office, ever. I wonder what's brought him here now?"

"Probably heard there was a ready and willing gaggle of females who would hang on his every word. No one that good looking can be unaware of it. He must be a total man whore."

I stiffened at that comment. Edward Cullen had never struck me as a man whore. He was kind and considerate and always respectful to women. But maybe they were right. I really had no idea about what he got up to with his personal life, only what he chose to reveal to me. He could be with a different girl every night for all I knew, although I imagine Tanya would never allow that!

His gaze suddenly locked with mine and it was as if no time had passed at all since we saw each other last. My feelings were just the same, they had not changed. They would never change. He had been mid-flow in conversation with Emmett but he stopped dead when he saw me. Suddenly looking serious. Emmett poked him in the ribs then followed his gaze to me. He looked at me with a grin and they walked over to me.

"Hey Swan how's it going this morning? You found the next War and Peace yet?" Emmett asked.

"Not just yet, though I am being hounded by a former Playboy bunny desperate to get her story of love and betrayal at the mansion heard. Maybe War and Peace will come this afternoon," I bantered back.

"Hello Isabella," I heard Edward. His voice was quiet and he said my name in the way he always did, like a caress, like I hoped he would whisper it in my ear as he entered me gently and made love to me until we were a sweaty, trembling mess.

I shook myself internally. "Hello Mr Cullen," I replied. "How are you? What brings you to Emmett towers?" I joked.

"Well I just dropped by to take my favourite brother out for lunch," he joked, looking at Emmett fondly.

I was surprised at his response. He never went out for lunch. Not even with Tanya. He was always working, always too busy. Now he was going for casual lunches with Emmett. What had happened? Had he taken on a new outlook to life? Work less and live more? Had Tanya had something to do with it? Was he happy, sad? So many questions.

"Great, well it was nice to see you," I responded, wanting to get away from him quick. My heart was pounding and I felt light headed. I needed to assume the position in the bathroom so I could prevent a panic attack.

"Sure, um yeah. Have you got a minute while I'm here?" He turned to Emmett, "I won't be long."

"Sure bro," Emmett replied, winking at his brother.

We headed into my office.

"So, is everything okay back at the office?" I asked, making an effort to make polite conversation.

"Yeah, it's great," he replied. He looked uncomfortable and raked his hand through his hair, making it even messier. God I wanted to do that, run my fingers through it, grab it, hold onto it. Suddenly he looked up with a determined expression on his face.

"Listen I don't know how to ask this, but did you receive my notes?"

"Your notes?"

"Yeah, this week?"

My brain suddenly engaged. The emails, he had sent me notes on a press release I had drafted before I left. We had agreed I would handle it, as it was one of the charity projects we had been working on together for weeks. Of course that's what he meant.

"Yes I did, thank you. They were very insightful."

He looked confused and went to speak again when Laney, one of the assistants, poked her head round the door.

"Sorry to bother you Bella but it's Bill Murrill on the phone and he sounds really mad."

"Hmm, I was waiting for that call," I replied. Bill was a snooty, but popular, author who thought he was too good for editing, even when his writing made no sense. "Mr Cullen do you mind if we cut this short?"

He nodded, did he look sad? "Sure, of course." He shook his head. "You have things to do."

He headed for the door with his head hanging. Emmett met him and threw his arm around his shoulder, whispering in his ear. I saw Edward shake his head in response to Emmett's words, probably brotherly banter? They headed towards the elevator.

I sighed and picked up the phone. Back to the daily grind.

On Wednesday night, another bunch of flowers, this time vibrant orange.

Beautiful Bella, no one else can ever possess my heart

On Thursday I was resolved, I would call Jake. I needed to let him down easy. I couldn't return this level of affection, I would say we could be friends but that is all.

I put it off all day, drumming my fingers on the desk as I thought about what on earth I would say. Finally I found my resolve and picked up the receiver and dialled Jake's number. The phone rang.

"Hello?" Jake's voice came over the handset loud and deep.

"Hey Jake, it's Bella," I said.

"Oh hey Bella, how the hell are you? Long time no see!"

He didn't sound like a man desperately in love. He just sounded like Jake.

"Great Jake, I'm great. Listen I called to talk about the flowers."

"What flowers?" He sounded genuinely confused, but he was surely just playing with me.

"Come on Jake, the flowers you sent this week."

"Look Bella, I'm not kidding I haven't sent you any flowers. We're friends, but that's it." Maybe he could sense the doubt in my silence as he continued, "I sent that email to you a couple of weeks ago to see if you wanted to hang out and catch up as friends. I'm seeing somebody, her name's Leah. I could do with some female advice."

Relief wash through me that this was not the awkward conversation I had feared it would be. "Oh wow, I'm so sorry. I must have got my wires totally crossed on this one."

Jake chuckled. "No problem Bella. So who are the flowers from? Do you have a secret admirer?"

"I guess I do," I snorted. But who? Maybe it was my mom trying to make me feel better. She had been quizzing me about men the other day and I had insisted there was no one I was interested in, which had made her sad. Me and Jake had a good laugh about the whole thing and I agreed to meet him for a drink the next week so he could pick my brain on the mystery of women.

As I hung up the phone I realised I was back to square one, but things looked far worse now. If it wasn't Jake, who is completely harmless, who was it? Some psycho who had been stalking me? The words were beautiful, but full on. Who could it be? I called Angela. I needed emergency counselling now.

"Hey gorgeous, how's my favourite high-flying publisher doing?" She asked.

"Good thanks Ang, look I have a problem." I said nervously, getting straight to the point.

"What's going on, are you okay?"

"I don't know. I'm a little weirded out. I've been getting flowers all week."

"Flowers, oh god no that is a problem. I remember the last time I had flowers, it was awful. They came with a note saying how amazing I was and they had been arranged with ribbon. And now you have been receiving them all week? Oh the humanity!" She exclaimed sarcastically.

"Hey, it's not funny. The notes that come with them are really full on. Like soul mate, true love stuff and I have no idea who is sending them!"

"Oh, well now that is a little creepy."

"I know!"

We chatted a little longer and Ang talked me off the ledge, as always.

"Look, just go home look at all the cards together and think. Who is in your life? Who could have done this?"

"Yeah, okay. Maybe I'll never know. Maybe they will stop now?"

"Why would they stop when you don't even know why they started?"

"Good point," I admitted with a sigh.

Thursday night, more roses. Lavender. What was going on?

Beautiful Bella, my angel, my all, my very self

This was just unbelievable. Someone out there is thinking about me so much they have sent me flowers every day for five days with cards containing the most beautiful words. This guy could be THE guy. But no he couldn't, because THE guy for me is Edward Cullen and he is an impossible dream, the superhero. Way out of my league.