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SHATTERED
Chapter 2 – For the Love of a Daughter
Tonight she had gotten yet another call from the bartender; her father was drunk again and the penny was closing. When she got there, she apologized to the bartender once again and placed her father's arm over her shoulder to hold him steady as they walked out to his car. Andy put him in the passenger seat and buckled him in before she got in the drivers seat.
"Dad, where's your keys?" she asked
"Don't know" he slurred
Andy sighed and checked his pockets and found them. She started the car and drove him home; it broke her already shattered heart to see him like this. He was doing so well too.
"I love you baby" he slurred, drunkenly kissing her forehead
"I love you too" Andy told him, oh how she loved him, despite all the mistakes, she loved her father terribly.
She helped him up to his apartment and set him on his bed and he passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. "Oh dad, why do you let her do this to you?" she asked knowing she wouldn't get an answer. Her mother's return not only wreaked havoc on her life, but her father's as well.
"Andy are you okay? You look like you haven't slept in weeks" Gail asked as they patrolled the streets of Toronto.
"Thanks for telling me I look terrible" Andy replied back
"I didn't mean it that way" Gail said "When's the last time you slept?"
"Last night" Andy stated the obvious
Gail rolled her eyes in a typical Gail fashion "I mean when did you last get a good nights sleep?"
Andy thought for a moment "I don't remember"
"Andy you can't keep doing this, have you even looked for a new place yet?" she asked
"Yes I have" Andy answered "And it's not that, I just have lots on my mind"
"Is this about Swarek?" Gail pried
Andy clenched her jaw at the mention of his name "No"
Before Gail could respond, the radio flared to life. The dispatcher sent them to a motor vehicle accident; a four car pileup with one fatality.
When they got there and saw the damage, they were amazed that there was only one fatality. Oliver stopped Andy before she could enter the scene.
"McNally, I think you should stay here" Oliver told her
"It's my job to be here" Andy told him and tried to push past him
"Andy" he tugged her back "The fatality was a 49 year old woman, a social worker, by the name of…Claire McNally"
Andy's eyes widened in shock "What?" she whispered
"I'm so sorry" Oliver said sadly
Andy didn't know what to feel. So many emotions riled up inside her; sadness, anger, remorse, regret. You name it she felt it. Her mother was gone, this time for good. She would never know if her mother had a hidden agenda or if she genuinely wanted to get to know the woman her daughter had become. On one hand, Claire McNally was the reason Tommy McNally started drinking again; but on the other hand, Claire McNally was still her mother and she loved her.
"How um…"Andy cleared her throat, trying to keep her emotions in check "How did it happen?"
Oliver looked at her sadly, not knowing how much to tell her. But once he saw the determined look in her eyes, he knew she wouldn't let him hold anything back. "According to witness accounts, the truck ran a red light and ran into your mo…the victim's car and pushed it into oncoming traffic" Oliver told her, Andy's eyes never leaving the wrecked car.
"Can…can I see her?" Andy asked
"Uh, I…I don't think that's a good idea" Oliver reluctantly told her
Andy knew why; her mother's body was most likely unrecognizable.
"Andy, listen" Oliver said "Is there anything I can do?"
"Um, no…I'm fine" she said "Thanks, um I should…I should go tell my dad"
"So you want me to go with you?" Oliver asked, wanting to help her in any way he could
"No, um…this is something I have to do myself"
Oliver nodded, understanding "Andy…let me know if you need anything…anything at all"
"Thank you" Any told him, and then she turned and left.
Oliver saw her wipe her eyes, but he still saw the tears the she tried to hide.
Andy had hoped against hope that when her father found out about her mother that he'd take it in stride, to grieve but not let it consume his life. But that didn't happen, no instead it only made him drink more and eat less. Andy had no idea how to help her father, nothing she said helped, and it was so hard to stay strong for him when she was grieving too.
About a week after her mother's funeral, things only seemed worse with her dad; he was intoxicated more than he was sober.
"No there are no pickles" Andy told Oliver, they were partnered today and of course they stopped for lunch
"You sure?" Oliver prodded jokingly
Andy didn't laugh or even crack a smile "Take a bite and find out" she deadpanned
Before Oliver could reply, Andy's phone rang.
"Hello?" she said
"Andy is that you?" Tommy asked
"Dad? Are you okay?" Andy asked worriedly, Oliver immediately stopped eating and was on alert.
"Your mother said she's going to pick you up for family dinner" Tommy slurred
"Dad, what are you talking about?" Andy asked alarmed "Mom's gone, she…she died in a car accident a week and a half ago"
"She's on her way there now, don't forget…I love you baby"
"Dad?" Andy said
There was no answer; all she heard was a thump on the other end of the phone.
"Dad?" she said again in hopes that he'd answer, she was filled with dread. His drinking increased over the past week, he was eating less. Confusion. One of the symptoms of alcohol poisoning.
She didn't even notice that Oliver had already called a bus, turned on the sirens and was speeding towards Tommy's apartment.
Oliver barely stopped the car before Andy jumped out and ran into the building. She used all her strength to kick down the locked door of her father's apartment. Her heart dropped to her stomach when she saw her father passed out on the floor, the smell of vomit in the air. She let out a cry; Oliver immediately knelt down beside Tommy and checked his pulse. It was weak and very slow. He leaned down to check his breathing; each breath was shallow and more than 8 seconds apart and Tommy's lips were turning blue. Oliver started compressions. "Come on Tommy, breathe" Oliver said "Breathe"
When EMS arrived, they took over. They vigorously tried to get Tommy stable, but their efforts failed as Tommy took his last breath.
"We lost him" The EMT said
"NO! No, no" Andy screamed, Oliver immediately wrapped his arms around her. The screams she let out were so heart-wrenching that Oliver had to hold back his own tears. Andy pounded on his chest "No, no, no, no, no" she cried and her knees gave out, she would have crumbled to the floor if Oliver didn't have a hold of her. "He's not gone, he can't be gone, no" Andy untangled herself from Oliver and launched herself down to her father's body.
"Daddy don't leave me, please" she cried heart-wrenching sobs "Please no!"
Just about everyone that ever knew Tommy came to his funeral. Traci came back to town to be there for Andy. Oliver tried and tried to get a hold of Sam, knowing that out of everyone, Andy needed him the most; but Oliver failed to get a message to him, Sam was just too deep undercover. It broke his heart to see that the light that always shown in Andy's eyes, the light that started to diminish after Sam left, was now gone. Completely.
After the funeral, Andy asked to be alone. No one argued with her. Her cheeks wet with tears, she sat alone at her father's grave.
"Why did you have to leave me?" she whispered, heartbroken
The pain in her heart was so intense, it just hurt so bad. She almost robotically took out the pocket knife that she always carried with her, the very same pocket knife that her father gave her for her 12th birthday; she place the blade against the skin of her wrist, she pressed hard and slowly pulled the knife across her wrist. Seeing the blood, feeling the different kind of pain, somewhat dulled the ache in her heart. The physical pain distracted her to some extent from her emotional turmoil, and she was grateful for that, even though it only lasted for a little while.
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