As I woke up, the sun was shining over the sheet of snow and some of the cool breeze comes in through the cracked window. I felt so happy, it's been months since I felt so relaxed and so…sick. I bolted out of the messed up king sized bed making my way towards the bathroom. I felt weak as I sat on the cold tiled floor, head drooping on the toilet seat as my throw up infiltrated my senses making me sicker than I even was. I knew that I could get pregnant, but I never told anyone that, and the doctor said it's the same to any girl just no period just use a condom and some birth controls if I didn't want to get pregnant, he said that my parents had the same thing, and since I never knew my parents I never really learned about it firsthand. As I thought about last night I realized Ichigo didn't use a condom and he usually does…and I didn't even take my pill-I feel so stupid. Flushing the toilet as I was getting up from the bathroom floor, making my way to the sink as I was getting the bitter taste of my own stomach acid out of my mouth. Shutting off the sink, I made my way back towards the bedroom seeing a still sleeping Ichigo with half the covers covering his body as his chest was rising up and down.
I am so scared; scared if he might think I'm a freak, scared if he tries to hurt me, and…if he leaves me. N-no I'm probably just paranoid, I can't get pregnant now I-I haven't even taken a test to prove it…but it could still happen. As I make my way back to the bed, cuddling up on ichigo's side while loving it every second, but I kept thinking, what if I was pregnant and what would happen to me and Ichigo. I pictured a little short red spiked hair child running around with warm chocolate eyes with a whole lot of laughter and love as he ran up to Ichigo laughing as he was picked up, with me following giving them both kisses on the cheek, but then again that nice little fantasy also went downhill as everything went dark and the pretty little baby was crying a sound of fear and pain. I was so scared and sad that my baby had to go through that and Ichigo wasn't even there to help.
Thinking about that made me a little bit sad seeing how I always wanted kids just never found the perfect person to have them with. As I was still in my thought I didn't realize when I felt Ichigo stir a little, but when I felt him give me a chaste kiss on my lips I broke out of my thoughts immediately. I looked up at him with a tint of blush forming on my face giving him a genuine smile while snuggling into him even more closely as our bodies melded together.
"Good morning…" he said tiredly giving me a warm smile of his own.
"Good morning to you too, how'd you slept?" I asked him intertwining our fingers together.
"I slept well since you were sleeping next to me, how about you?" He said kissing our intertwined fingers bringing them to his chest. I stiffened a little at the thought of how my morning had gone, as I tried to decide whether to tell him or not. My soul says I should tell him but my mind says I'm being dumb as hell, but if I tell him now it'll be easier to just get over it now instead of hearing it later on. "Renji…?"
"Ichi…when I said I…loved you last night…" I took a deep breath before I continued feeling his grip tighten. "I meant it" I still continued on." When I woke up this morning… I had thrown up in the bathroom feeling indescribably sick…" I took a deep breath while looking straight in his eyes." I-I'm able to get…pregnant a-and I was s-scared if you wouldn't want me if I told you." My eyes started to get watery as I turned my head away for I wouldn't have faced him, as my free hand came up from under the sheets to wipe away my tears.
"Renji…come're" I stiffened as to what he was going to do to me, but I decided not to make the situation worst by ignoring him, so I had shifted myself for I was seated on ichigo's lap looking at him with my teary eyes. "Renji…why didn't you tell me about this? Were you planning to tell me?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"I didn't know if I should have told you, but now I think I should let it out now…with everything that's going on." I got up from his lap went towards my bag that I packed to leave, I knew I had pregnancy test in there because I got one for Rukia when she started dating kaine and she was scared to get one alone so I had gotten the other one. As I kept on searching in the bag I had finally found it, looking back at Ichigo I got up and went to the bathroom.
I came back out few minutes later with the test in my hands, as I saw Ichigo looking at the window he seemed to be deep in thought. I walked towards him as I held out the test in front of him; I turned my face around not sure of what he was going to do. As I felt his hands grasp my face in a gentle manor bringing my head to face him he gave me the most passionate kiss filled with love and not a sexually intent in it what so ever; it was gentle, slow and very enticing. As we broke for air I looked up at him with a shocked expression, he gave me the most loving smile and pulled me into a hug kissing me on the top of my head." I want it to be a boy…"