A/N I know it took a little while for me to update, it took me all weekend to do it but I've finally finished

This is not going to be set in the fifties even though I know it was done in them times, but I have something up my sleve and it will be revealed later on.

I don't know when the Cullen's will come into this, don't worry though because they will. Bella and Edward will be together. I'm not sure about Bella being a vampire yet, she has changed a lot.

Than you for the reveiws, they were sweet, especially since this is my first story.

In this chapter I wanted you to have more in sight to Bella's feelings and emotions, to know her in her weakness. Some of it is a little un clear of how she feels, just remember she has been locked up for five years, but she's not crazy, just a little vunreable.

You can ask as many questions as you want and will answer them as soon as I can. I love to hear your opinions.

Anyway hope you enjoy!

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."- Jim Morrison

In some ways I agree with Jim Morrison and in other's I don't. I'm not afraid to feel, I just avoid it because it hurts too much and I can't fall apart in here, you have to stay strong. It's true about how you carry it. I have to keep the blank mask on through-out the day, but when I go asleep that's when the tears flow forward, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. In a way I do feel stronger with the more pain I have, doesn't make it go away, but it's more ... bearable to handle. I can't let society destroy my reality if there is none in here, there's no society just punishment, beatings, rules for not doing as you're told. And I've grown used to it.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard Smith next to me calling my name.

"Isabella, your treatment is now completed and I'll see you in a few days for the next. Or maybe I might see you sooner" I shuddered as I heard the double meaning in his words and his eyes travelled along down my body.

His untied the leather straps that help my wrists and ankles down to the bed, and then removed the rubber piece from my mouth. I gagged in reflex. I hated that thing in my mouth, it was disgusting, but it was the only thing keeping me from biting my own tongue.

Doctor Derek lifted me effortlessly, and I had to bite down on my lower lip to keep from screaming that he was touching me. I couldn't help but notice that he sniffed me. I cringed slightly. Did I mention I hated this Fucking dirty cunt?

He put me down in the wheelchair then proceeded to tie my wrists again, tightly. I'm probably going to have wrist burn on them. We continued through the corridors, hearing the normal screams like we usually do, but I just ignored them. I didn't have the strength anymore to wonder what was happening to them, weather it was pain they were feeling or just pure madness like some people are here.

He opened my cell and wheeled me in, coming to a stop in the middle.

"Now wasn't that nice young Isabella? Now you can have some time on your own to rest, then you will come to the front room with other's so you are not lonely. Is that clear?" I just simply nodded I knew better that to go against him at the moment.

"Right then Isabella I will come and collect you in a few hours" then he turned to leave me with my own thoughts and locked the door. I then noticed that the basted didn't even untie me, so I was stuck here in this damn chair for hours without being able to move. Bloody brilliant.

I wondered what the others were doing and where they were. I hated being on my own, there was too much time to think, too much pain to deal with. And that was all it took for the tears to fall loose and I couldn't even wipe them away. They fell down my cheeks, then splattering on to my shirt. How could my family do this to me? How could they leave me here? They were meant to love me. They were meant to be there for me, but where were they now? Huh? They were all probably exploring their distractions still, especially him. I then said the words I haven't said in five years, and never thought I would again.

"I want to go home. I want my mom, I want my mom like she used to be before and my dad. I want my old dad. I'm so, so sorry daddy" it made me cry more and more. I then realised; it was my fault, everything was my fault.

"My fault" I whispered to myself.

I drove them out of their own homes. They did it just to get away from me. That's how much they were disgusted by me. They never wanted to see me again. They hated me, I disgust them, I repulse them, I believed them. All the times they said they loved me, all the hugs kisses, the smiles. They were all lies. Oh how they must be laughing now, how the gullible little human girl believed they loved me. How perfetic they must have thought, how naive I was. I'm never let anyone apart from the people closest to me get in ever again. I will never let people like them in again.

I don't know how much time passed still being in this chair I have nothing to do. I can't even read, which is what I usually do. It's not aloud but Lisa got the book from me; Tennyson. It's in the corner of my room behind a wobbly brick I found one day. No one's found it yet and I intend to keep it that way, but like I said yet. I can only imagine what they would do to me if they found out. I trust Lisa though. She has helped every single descent person in here including me, I would trust her with my life it the time came one day. Ever since our first real conversation, where she told me all about herself and the people, but she also helped me after my first beating

I couldn't believe it, all I did was stick up for myself. Now I've had my fare few of fights at bar's, against men and woman, and i had only gotten away with a few scratches and bruises. But him, I don't know what it was but I just couldn't fight him. It was like her was a whole other person, that knocked me to the ground again and again and I couldn't get up to my feet, no matter how hard I wanted to. A calm facade man on the outside, a evil conniving man on the inside, you could see it in his eyes, the way they sparked dangerous when he heard something he didn't like.

I don't know how long I sat there curled on the floor until someone began opening the door, I curled more into myself preparing for the next blow when I heard a startled female voice.

"Ohh my god!" I soon recognised it to be Lisa, and couldn't help but let out a sob of relief that it was her and not the other one. It was the first time I'd cried in months and it felt good to get my emotions out even under this circumstance. It took her a few seconds to recover before she ran over to me and crouched beside me running a soft, warm hand through my hair.

"What did he do to you?" it was as if she was saying it more to herself than me, but I answered anyway.

"I didn't mean to upset him, he was shouting so I shouted back, I, I , I hhhounestly d didn't mean it, I just, I just"-

"Shh now sweetheart, not now just stay quiet, Shh darling" she helped me up then led me over to the bed tucking me in. I calmed down a little and my breathing got back to normal but I still ached all over.

"Now there it's alright, it's over now you don't have to go through that anytime soon"

"So what you're saying I will have to go through that again?" I really, really never wanted that to happen again, I didn't even do anything much wrong.

"If you disobey the rules then you probably have to, I know what it was like growing up with this family, and I know the rules. I hate them, I hate them all. But I have to stay here to help people like you."

"There are more people in here that don't need to be?" I asked as she cradled me in her arms still stroking my hair.

"Yeah, there are, some of their family's didn't want them when they were young, some thought there was something wrong with them, that they were crazy, but that was never the case" she whispered to me.

"Well I'm definitely not crazy" I mumbled

She laughed quietly "You have no idea how many people say that here everyday"

"Are some of the people here ... crazy ... do some really have problems?"

"Yes there is a few, some though never came in that way I'm afraid. The time in here get's to them, never being able to see the sun, being with the same people, the same four walls."

"Will you ever let me be like that?" I asked

"As long as I can help it, you will never be like the others, and hopefully one day I can help get all the people like you out of this hell. But until then you have to live with it"

"How long have you been helping people in here?"

"Three years, I've been working here, but I've known about this place nearly all of my life" she answered.

"How old are you then?"

"Twenty three" she simply said

"Then why have you not told people about this place" I asked somewhat angrily

"I tried once. When I was nineteen. But my uncle caught me and I'm not going to tell you what he did, but I never felt so much pain before that point in my life. I still have the scars physically and emotionally, I was given a second chance, that's why you can't tell anyone about me helping you. A few know, and I will inform them when I get the chance and introduce you to them, so promise me never tell anyone"

"I promise" and I really did mean it, if someone was going to help me then I was going to take it.

"Good. Now tell me about yourself, how old are you?" she asked

I didn't want to tell her everything but a little won't hurt. If I did tell her all the truth then she really would think I was insane then she wouldn't help me.

"Eight-teen" I answered.

"so young" she whispered to herself "So much to live for" she whispered again "Now I heard that your father put you in here, is that right?"

"Yes" I said stiffly

"But why? Why would he do this to his daughter? What happened?"

"I done a lot of bad stuff. Something happened, which by the way I won't talk about, and I went on the wrong track I guess. I failed in school, went out to parties, done a lot of drugs, and drank ... a lot" I admitted "Then worst of all, I tried to kill myself three times, but they always got there in time, and it annoyed me like hell"

"Why would a sweet, beautiful girl like you want to kill yourself, I just don't understand"

I scoffed, sweet? Beautiful? Has this girl been living under a rock or has she been spending too much time with the people here?

"I don't want to talk about it" I didn't want to think about them or in other words him I wouldn't be able to handle that, I would lose it straight there.

"Okay, it's okay you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about, I understand that" and she obviously did, right when she sensed I was uncomfortable she stopped. And changed the subject though I still didn't really want to talk about my so called parents.

"What are your parents' names then?"

"My father was Charlie and my mother was Renée, I had a step father called Phil" I answered with no emotion.

"I couldn't help but notice you used past tense"

"As far as I'm concerned they were just people who brought me into the world and raised me. Anyone can be a mother and father but it takes someone special to be a mom and dad"

"I understand"

"What about your parents?"

"I don't have any they died in a car accident when I was five, I don't remember them that much anymore, I was raised by mu uncle and his family on my mother's side. They were the only family left so I was given to them." She spoke of her uncle in so much disgust and I wondered what he actually did to her when she tried to tell people about this place, but I didn't ask her about, knowing it would most likely upset her.

"Who is your uncle?" she tensed

"The man who hurt you" was all she said. How could someone so evil be related to someone as kind as this woman Lisa right next to me? It doesn't make sense.

"I know what you're thinking, how could I be related to him, well, I ask myself that same question every day, and I still can't seem to find the answer" she paused "Well it's getting late and you should get some rest now you've got a long days ahead of you. You're going to be quite sore tomorrow and for that I'm sorry. I'll you soon, darling" she got and kissed my head, then walked out the door but not before saying goodnight. I settled down deeper in the lumpy bed ignoring the burn my ribs produced and whispered.

"Goodnight, Lisa" before going into an uneasy sleep

Yes Lisa had helped me a lot in her.

She was always there for everyone that needed help, she was a saint. She never did tell me what Derek her uncle did to her, but I have a fairly good guess of what happened, and makes me hate him even more if that's possible. So far so good she has never been caught, and hopefully she never will be.

I could feel myself drifting of in the chair, and I full well knew that when I woke I was going to have the most painful neck, those were my last thoughts as I drifted off in what I wish would be a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

I don't know how many hours had passed, one thing for sure I was absolutely fucking starving. My neck felt like it has thousands of needles stuck in it, and unbelievably stiff, yep! An wonderful sleep if you ask me, catch the sarcasm there? The door finally opened and in stepped the evil ice queen herself aka Miranda, she was Derek's wife, and the most cold hearted bitch around here. Apparently her family the Johnson's as she once was, had a little investment with the business and decided it would be a nice little course. How do I know this? Lisa of course, like I said she tells us everything when she can. Every time we done something wrong she would be there to laugh and insult. I was never the violent type growing up, but she is the first person I have ever wanted to kill aside from the doctor's here.

"Aw did miss little Swan have a nice nap?" she faked her curiosity and concern, I was sure she hoped I'd go to sleep and never wake up.

"It was very lovely thanks" I answered knowing with my cocky attitude I most likely would be in trouble if I carry on, but hey what can I say I like playing her at her own game, it's something else to do in here.

"That's good" she said dryly, like she cared.

"Can I come out now?" I said impatiently. I'd had enough of this little room for the time being.

She came over to me and wheeled me out the room. She was another person forgetting once again to untie me.

"Err you're forgetting something" I said through gritted teeth.

"Ohh? What's that exactly?" she answered sweetly faking innocence.

"Yeah, it's the little things around my wrists and ankles called ropes"

"I very damn well know that, drop the attitude child"

I scoffed, child? "I am twenty-three nearly twenty-four I'm hardly considered a child now"

"You need to grow up then because you still look like a teenager" she sneered flatly. I guess I wasn't the only one that noticed the fact that I wasn't aging and that physically I'm still eight-teen years old. If I had known this it would have saved a lot of worrying when I was that age. Now I know I'll never get a grey hair.

"You're just jealous because you are the one getting wrinkles and crippled while I'm in my youth for eternity"

That was it, she cracked, I got a lovely smack around the face. I gasped when her hand made contact with my cheek. Yeah I guess I kind of pushed her too far. I felt my eyes watering but I refused to let them escape, I would not show my weakness around any of them, ever. My face felt like it was burning, and if my guess was right it would be bright red, like how I used to blush.

"That's enough of your mouth girl, I will not tolerate it again, if you do, then I will make it in my power that you will not make it to eternity" she threatened, and I knew she wasn't messing around now. "Is that understood?" she asked.

I nodded with understanding.

"Now for your behaviour you are going to stay in the chair until morning and no food for you either" she paused "And just to make it clear I will be informing Dr. Frost of your behaviour and he will most likely see to you tonight"

Oh shit! Now I've really dropped myself in it, haven't I? There was no point dwelling on it, I already knew what was going to happen to me. There was nothing I could do to prevent it.

We walked into the large room and Miranda steered me into the direction of the girls, I saw Megan first when I looked into her eyes I saw, anger? What could make her angry? As soon as Miranda left she started.

"What the fuck did that bitch do to you?" she hissed

"Megan please keep it down before you draw attention to us" Abby whispered. I looked over to where Abby pointed out and saw that Dr. Smith and Dr. Alan where in the corner of the room keeping a look out.

"Sorry, but Bells have you had a chance to look at yourself yet?" she asked now attentively. Megan has a lot of mood swings, doesn't she?

"Yeah Bella it's a huge red mark right across your face" Brylane said concerned, Aryan nodded "It looks like it hurts, a lot" she said quietly. Aryan was the shyer one out of the two, they were both different, but completely the same if that makes sense.

"Guys I'm fine honestly it was my own god damn fault you know how I like to annoy her sometimes but today it back fired on me no big deal" I acted like it was nothing, there was no way I was going to tell them of the plans for me tonight they would freak. They didn't seem to believe me that it was no big deal they were about to argue when, thankfully Emma stepped in.

"Now, now girls stop gushing over her. Bella is fine, just like she told you and let's leave it as that" she said. I shot her a great full look and she smiled sweetly back to me knowing that I didn't like the attention.

Everyone stopped bickering between each other and listened with Emma. Whenever she told us to do something we always listened, it was amazing the calming technique she had on us. It was a little like Jasper. No! Don't think about them again, I could already feel the emotion coming.

"Bella are you okay?" Nikki whispered in my ear so only I could hear

"I'm fine" I whispered back "And no I haven't had the chance to look at my face yet because if you haven't noticed I can't even get out of this stupid fucking chair at the moment" I said to everyone irritated, I wanted to get out, my ass has gone numb.

"Ohh yeah, I guess I never noticed that" Megan frowned

"Wow Meg I thought you a little more observant than that" Abby laughed "It must be the blond genes kicking in" she whispered more to herself than anyone else, but of course Megan heard it.

"I heard that you fucking bitch, don't you dare bring up the blond thing, I'll have you know that I am obviously smarter than you"

"Oh yeah?" Abby laughed

"Yes" Megan agreed

"Have you even been to school?" she still laughed

Megan was about to answer but then she hesitated her mouth forming a 'O' shape "Well, I, ah, um, well no I can't say I have" she finally said

If Abby could laugh any harder then she would have "So I conclude that I Abigail Brown is the smarter person than the, Megan Jones who has never attended education" she said in a now serious voice. "Well actually me and Emma are the only ones that have completed school all of you haven't" she said with a smile.

Well she had me there. I about failed every class I went in to and I was put in her the February of my senior year, like I would have been able to graduate anyway. Nikki was put in here when she was nine so she had barely even begun. The twins were put in here when they were six-teen. Megan had been here her whole life. So yeah they were the only two to finish their education. It was quite sad really.

"Huh I never thought of that" Nikki finally said

"Well I was the closest to finish"

"Bella was that before or after you would have been kicked out?" Abby asked

"Hey! I might not have been kicked out" I said not so strongly, knowing that it was a pretty high chance that I would have been.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, please you would have been too busy thinking about you're next fix and having another joint than worrying about school and graduating"

I huffed, knowing she was right "Well can't argue with you there"

"Ohh my god! Did the Bella Swan just admit that I was right?" Abby laughed

"Yeah the thirst time for it and it will be the last time, so savour the memory" I shot back. She rolled her eyes clearly not affected by the comment.

"Don't worry I will make it my life purpose for you to keep admitting that I am right and you are wrong"

"Cocky much?" I asked

"Always, and you know it"

The bell rang signalling that it was dinner time. Nikki got up the wheel me as well, but I shook my head her.

"What?" she asked

"I'm not allowed to eat today" I answered simply

"Is it from the treatment?" she knew it was my treatment day, but hardly ever did any of us bring it up we liked to avoid that part of the conversation as much as possible.

"No" I shook my head

"Then what is it?" she asked annoyed. I knew she wasn't going to give up until she knew.

"Its part of my punishment from earlier" she froze, she hated talking about people having punishment that's why I didn't want to bring it up.

"Oh" was all she said

"Go on you don't want to be late, do you?"

"No I, I guess not"

"Then go get your dinner, I'll be fine, don't worry about me" she hesitated before finally nodding, then turned to leave so she could catch up with the others.

"Oh don't forget to tell the others so they don't worry" I called after her.

"I will" she replied back.

And now what do I do? Just sit here I guess.

I couldn't help but think back to when I was in school, what it would have been like if I didn't go to that party with Jess, would I have worse off or better off, that was the main question, would I be where I'm sitting now if I hadn't of gone? The drugs made me forget most of the time it was like a fog on my brain, I couldn't function without, well I can now but that was out of force and when the doctor's do give you medication it's like a vacation a whole new high for me. It's not a good idea to give drugs to a drug addict but I couldn't care less. I needed them, always. If I hadn't started them then it could have been worse. Waking up every night screaming, not eating, hardly ever sleeping because of the fear, avoiding speaking to anyone, after a while I'd probably get so tired I'd try to kill myself just like on the drugs. So yes either way there's a Farley good chance I would have made in here anyway. A no win situation.

That night, that Friday night changed my life for the better and for the good in a way.

It had been three weeks, three weeks since my birthday, three weeks my heart fell apart, three weeks since

they left. They left me here, they didn't even say goodbye, well apart from him. It was all just a game to them, they were as bad as James with their games, and I wish he did just kill me that night in the ballet studio. No wonder he sucked the venom he didn't want to be stuck with me for eternity. Plain old me.

I was sitting at the kitchen table looking blankly at my cereal, I could feel Charlie's gaze on me but chose to ignore him. I don't why I even got myself breakfast I'm not even hungry. I think I had about three bites throughout the entire half an hour I've sat here. I heard Charlie sigh loudly but once again chose to ignore it. He kept doing it for the next five minutes as if he were trying to get my attention. I didn't care, I didn't want to talk to anyone let alone my dad.

"That's it Bella! I'm sending you home."

I looked up from my breakfast to stare at him, I didn't understand what he meant

"I am home" I mumbled

"I'm sending you to Renée, to Jacksonville" he clarified.

Charlie watched with exasperation as I slowly grasped the meaning of his words.

"What did I do?" I felt my face crumble. It was so unfair. My behaviour had been above reproach for the past two weeks. After that first week, which neither of us ever mentioned, I hadn't missed a day of school or work. I never broke curfew-I never went anywhere to break curfew in the first place. I only rarely ever served leftovers.

Charlie was scowling.

"You didn't do anything. That's the problem you. You never do anything."

"You want me to get into trouble?" I wondered, my brows pulling together in mystification. I made an effort to pay attention. It wasn't easy. I was so used to tuning everything out, my ears felt stopped up.

"Trouble would be better than this ... this moping around all the time!"

That stung a bit. I'd been careful to avoid all forms of moroseness, mopping included.

"I am not mopping around"

"Wrong word," he grudgingly conceded. "Mopping would be better-that would be doing something. You're just ... lifeless, Bella. I think that's the word I want"

This accusation struck home. I sighed and tried to put some animation into my response.

"I'm sorry, dad." My apology sounded a little flat, even to me. I'd thought I'd been fooling him. Keeping Charlie from suffering was the whole point in this effort. How depressing to think that the effort had been wasted.

"I don't want you to apologize."

I sighed. "Then tell me what you do want me to do."

"Bella," he hesitated, scrutinizing my reaction to his next words. "Honey, you're not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know."

"I know that." My accompanying grimace was limp and unresponsive.

"Listen, honey. I think that-that maybe you need some help."

"Help?"

He paused, searching for the right words again. "When your mother left," he began, frowning, "and took you with her." He inhaled deeply. "Well, that was a really bad time for me."

"I know, dad," I mumbled

"But I handled it," he pointed out. "Honey, you're not handling it. I waited, I hoped it would get better." He stared at me and I looked down quickly. "I think we both know it's not getting better."

"I'm fine."

He ignored me. "Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional."

"You want me to see a shrink?" My voice was a shade sharper as I realized what he was getting at.

"Maybe it would help"

"And maybe it wouldn't help one little bit?"

He examined my obstinate expression, and switched to another line of attack.

"It's beyond me, Bella. Maybe your mother-"

"Look," I said in a flat tone. "I'll go out tonight, if you want. I'll call Jess or Angela."

"That's not what I want," he argued, frustrated. "I don't think I can live through seeing you try harder. I've never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch."

I pretended to be dense, looking down at the table. "I don't understand, dad. First you're mad because I'm not doing anything, and then you say you don't want me to go out."

"I want you to be happy- no, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable. I think you'll have a better chance if you get out of Forks."

My eyes flashed up with the first small spark of felling I'd had in over three weeks.

"I'm not leaving." I said

"Why not?" he demanded

"I'm in my last semester of school- it would screw everything up."

"You're a good student- you'll figure it out."

"I don't want to crowd mom and Phil."

"Your mother's been dying to have you back."

"Florida is too hot."

His fist came down on the table. "We both know what's really going on here, Bella, and it's not good for you." He took a deep breath. "It's been three weeks. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can't keep waiting for him."

I glowered at him. The heat almost, but not quite, reached my face. It had been a long time since I's blushed with any emotion.

This whole subject was utterly forbidden, as he was well aware.

"I'm not waiting for anything. I don't expect anything." I said in a low monotone.

"Bella-" Charlie began his voice thick.

"I have to go to school," I interrupted, standing up and yanking my hardly untouched breakfast from the table. I dumped my bowl in the sink without pausing to wash it out. I couldn't deal with any more conversation.

"I'll make plans with Jessica," I called over my shoulder as I strapped on my school bag, not meeting his eyes. "Maybe I won't be home for dinner. I'll stay round hers or something, we'll watch a movie."

I was out of the front door before he could act.

In my haste of getting away from Charlie I was one of the first people at school. The plus side was that I got a really good parking spot. The down side was that I had free time on my hands, and I tried to avoid free time at all costs. Quickly before I could start thinking about Charlie's accusations, I pulled out my calculus book. I flipped it open to the section we were starting today, and tried to make sense of it.

I forced myself to keep at it until the parking lot was full, and I ended up rushing to English. I settled in my seat, pleased of the distraction of Mr. Berty's lecture. Time moved easily while I was in school. The bell rang all too soon. I started repacking my bag.

"Bella?"

I recognised Mike's voice, and I knew what his next words would be before he said them.

"Are you working tomorrow?"

I looked up. He was leaning across the aisle with an anxious expression on his face. Every damn Friday he would ask me the same question. He had no reason to look at me with such concern.

"Tomorrow is Saturday, isn't it?" I said. Having it pointed out to me by Charlie I realized how lifeless my voice really sounded.

"Yeah it is."He answered. "See you in Spanish." He waved once before turning his back. He didn't bother walking m to class anymore.

Now it was Calculus, where I sat next to Jess. Even though I had hardly ever spoken to her in the last few weeks, she had always greeted me with a smile, which I just couldn't return. But that never fazed her.

I sat down next to her, and once again she greeted me with a warm smile. This time I did return it. She blinked stupidly in shock before she smiled wider. Before I could even contemplate, she threw her arms around me. Hesitantly I returned the hug.

"Wow!" Was all I could master.

"You're back! Finally!" she squealed, again before letting me. I let out a huge breath that I didn't realise I was holding in.

"What?" I said dumbly.

"You're getting back to the old Bella again. You actually spoke to me, than just ignored me, that's a super plus."

"It is?"

"Of course it is silly." she stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh right." Now the tricky bit. "Well I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight? I really need a girl's night out"

"Sure, I know the perfect thing. It's the road to recovery. You come over to my house tonight, we'll get ready and stuff, then we'll go out. There's going to be this great party tonight in Port Anglers. A proper girl's night out!"

"Are you sure?" I asked

"Yes! Of course I am Bella! I can't wait! So do you want to sleep round as well after woods?" she asked

"Well that was the plan."

"Brilliant!" she finished packing her stuff. "Come on lets go to the cafeteria." She grabbed me and pulled me along.

That wasn't as bad as I thought. Things are looking up. I actually couldn't wait until tonight.

That was how I got roped into the party. I have to say after I loosened up a little, the party was fucking fantastic, and the best fun I'd had in a while. That's how I forgot about things and after woods I just couldn't stop doing the drugs, not that I wanted because I can guarantee I certainly didn't. I have to say at first I was a little apprehensive about going to a party, in the city. All the possible danger lurking around, but I was wrong it was the danger that made it more fucking amazing.

It was after school and I dropped my truck off home and waited for Jess to pick me up to go to her house. I left a note for Charlie, so he wouldn't be worried.

Jess came speeding around the corner coming to a in front of the house.

"Come on Bella!" she sang "Get in, we don't have all day!" she shouted

I did as she said.

"Are you sure you don't mind me borrowing some of your clothes for tonight?" she said she was going to dress me. I still hated people dressing me up, that hadn't changed ever, and that was with everyone.

"No it's no problem."

The rest of the ride was silent, but it was a comfortable silence. We reached her house in another five minutes and she led me in. I had to say her house was a lot grander than mine. Everything looked so ... modern, but it was definitely a nice look. Her room had the same design as everything else did in the house but it had her own touch in it. I collapsed down on to the bed sitting Indian style, while Jess picked few things of the floor.

"Sorry it's a little messy." She said while still tidying

"Don't worry, my room is about the same mess if not messier." I told her

She laughed.

When she finally finished she plopped herself down next to me.

"Well we still have about six hours before we need to go, so now we can just relax. You know what? I'm hungry let's have dinner. We can make something or we can have pizza, which will it? I personally want pizza and will be in a massive mood if I don't get it, so no pressure."

"I want pizza too, you don't know what a relief it actually is to not having to cook."

"Great!"

It took about forty minutes before the pizza arrived, we chatted, and I actually laughed and smiled for the first time in three weeks and it was ... nice to be able to do that. We dressed and I had to say that if I was the one to dress me I would never wear this dress. It wasn't too revealing, it was just right. Jess put heels on me much to my dismay, but it was a lost argument for me. She did my makeup which I usually don't wear. When she was finally finished she let out a low whistle.

"Damn Bella, girl you look hot! If I wasn't a girl and if I swung that way I'd totally do you."

I laughed. "Thanks I guess."

"You're welcome." She answered back.

"Do I really look alright like this?" I asked self- consciously.

"Jesus Bella you really don't see yourself clearly, do you? Just go look in the mirror."

I did as she asked and to say I didn't recognise myself was an understatement. The girl in the reflection looked feisty, beautiful and there was a little bit of life in her eyes. This can't be me.

"Is that really me?" I asked un sure.

She snorted. "Bella, yes that is you. Now can we go? They saying fashionably usually goes for me but, being unbelievably late as in, we're so late everyone is trashed the drinks gone flat and all the pot is smoked. That is what we don't want."

"Okay, okay, I get it, let's go to this party already."

It took about half an hour to get to port Anglers and about and another fifth-teen to get to the house and now, I was suddenly us sure that I wanted to go to this party. The music was so loud you couldn't hear when someone was talking to you. Everyone was dancing and drunk. I had no idea it was going to be like this.

"Jess do you even know the people who are in charge of this party?"

"Of course I do Bella, his name is Tony, I met him like two months ago, he's cool." She sounded so calm, how the hell could she be calm?

"Are you sure it's safe?"

"Bella don't worry about a thing, you're safe as you can be at these parties."

"What the hell does that mean?

"Nothing."

We had been here about an hour and I was looking out for anything or anyone out of the ordinary. I didn't know anyone here apart from Jess. And I didn't trust them.

"Bella do you want anything to drink?" Jess asked.

"Um, yeah what is there?" I answered.

"Well there's Vodka, Smirnoff, Whisky, Jack Daniel's I think as well."

"Anything non alcoholic?" I sighed. I'd never had a drink in my life and I wasn't going to start here and right now with these strangers.

"Bell it's a party, there's never anything non alcoholic. Now what do you want?" she asked again.

There was no getting around it. "Surprise me. But remember I'm having just one drink." I said sternly.

She nodded. "Sure, sure, come on then, let's get you a drink."

When I said one drink I obviously meant about eight. Well eight vodka shots, two glasses of Smirnoff, and one glass of Jack Daniel's. I didn't even know a person could consume that much. I followed Jess to a bunch of people who were in the corner smoking, I think. Jess seemed to know them.

"Hey Josh." She greeted.

"Heya Jess." Then he looked at me. "Who's ya friend?" he asked.

"This is Bella, I go to school with her." She answered.

"Nice to meet ya Bella, I'm Josh." He said shaking hands with me.

"Nice to meet you too." He seemed quite nice.

"Bell, this is Natalie." She pointed to a girl with short black hair to her shoulders, she smiled warmly at me. "Tony, the person who's throwing this awesome party. And as you already know Josh."

There was a whole round of 'heys' in the air as they greeted me, I just smiled in return. Tony gave something to Jess that I couldn't see clearly.

"There you go girl, what's a party without getting stoned, hey?" he said.

"Without getting stoned there is no point in a party." She replied.

"Damn right girl." He laughed.

Jess took the joint lit it then inhaled, breathing in deeply she exhaled smiling.

"Do you want some Bella?" she asked

"I, um, I don't think I should."

"Just try it once, and then you don't have to again, I promise. Try something new every day."

"Okay what the hell, give it here, I'll give it a go." I said grabbing the joint off of her. I took a big breath and smoked the joint, it burned a little in my throat but other than that it was alright, and actually I liked it. The others cheered.

"Fuck girl, you're natural, isn't she guys?" Natalie smiled.

"Hell yeah!" Josh shouted

"Good job, Bells." Tony said smiling as well.

"Wow!" Jess said astonished.

I'm not sure what I did the rest of the night. It's blurry.

I woke up with a massive headache and my hip really hurt, I bet it was bruising, I rolled over and groaned from the sudden head rush.

"Look who's finally awake." Jess said loudly. It was like cat's nails dragging along a chalk board.

"Shut the hell up." I whispered to her

"Sorry." She said more quietly. "Do you want any breakfast?" she asked.

My stomach churned at the thought. "No." I groaned. She laughed.

"Good. Because I don't think I can stay up for another minute. If I had to get you breakfast I'd probably collapse with the effort."

Yeah I guess I was a natural.

I heard footsteps coming my way, and opened my eyes to come face to face with what was going to happen to me tonight.

"Hello Isabella, I hear you've been a very bad girl," I cringed at his words. "Well it time for your punishment, well it's not punishment to me is it now?" he said stroking my cheek. It took every ounce of power not to scream for help, knowing I could never be helped. He moved to the back of my chair, to wheel me away from the peaceful memory with Jessica to my horrific nightmare with Dr. Derek Frost.

A/N I hope you like it!

I'd love to hear your veiws on things like; Lisa do you her, and her character? or what do you think about Miranda? I'd also love to hear your idea's for this story.

I've been thinking of doing a Pov of the Cullen's mainly Alice, I had the idea of her having visions of Bella, but Alice never see's her face or voice. Alice's vision would just be a young girl being tortured by some people nearly everyday. None of them have any idea it's Bella. So I'd like to hear of your opinions.

I had to put a little bit of New moon in it it just wouldn't be the same if not. I also changed Jessica around a bit so she could fit in and be Bella's friend, and take her to the party where it all started.

Also I'd love to have more reviews, it would make my day.

I'll try to update when I can.

And please review!